The Kimiko Chronicles
by DeafeningSilence1317
Summary: The Akatsuki, a powerful criminal organization, find a miserable 11 year old girl sitting around on the very outskirts of their property. And what do they do? Take her in, of course! First fic. Bad at summaries.
1. Chapter 1: Unhappiness

Hi. This is my first fanfic, so please go easy on me. I know it's a little angsty in this chapter, but I promise it'll get some humor later on. This chapter is mainly about my OC, so no Naruto characters appear in this chapter, but they're going to later on, so don't worry.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does. I only own the OCs and the plot.

ANYWAY, on with the story!

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Hi Guys. My name is Kimiko. (Well, as far as you know…) I like the smell of rain, reading, writing, drawing, and listening to music. I have two small cats, Ghost and Shadow. I also have 2 dogs, Rainy and Sunny. I have black hair and light green eyes with flecks of brown in them. I'm a little messed up because my mom just couldn't wait until I was out of the womb to start drinking. I'm only 5 inches shorter than I should be, and I have a slim, sleek frame. I only weigh 58lbs. So physically, I'm almost normal. Mentally, I'm probably insane or something. I'm unusually smart for my age, but I also have Acute Stress Disorder and Stress Anxiety. I've been told by neighbors, complete strangers, and other kids (especially boys) that I'm the most beautiful child they've ever laid eyes on. (I'm not bragging. Those are the exact words!) I (kinda) live with my neglectful, abusive parents. They're also involved with the local gangs. My older brother Kazuki also has black hair, but his eyes are emerald green. I'm 11, he's 16. He's not what you'd expect… at all.

I don't even know why we had a house. I was barely ever in there. I only slept there, but other than that, I'd live off the streets. Let's just say I 'commuted' there every night. Life was unsustainable there because there was almost never any food, just drugs my parents sell to the local gangs. There was also no clean water to drink. Other people stayed there occasionally and it was never a pleasant person. My parents also have rage disorders. Yeah, you can probably see why I don't stay there now, huh? Well on this particular evening, it would be different. In fact, after that evening, nothing would be the same, ever again.

I sat in my would-be room, waiting out a gang fight, which was going on outside. I hated being trapped in the hell hole known as my house, but I didn't wanna go outside, where the gang fight was going on. So, I sat quietly, waiting. Mom and Dad were out, doing who knows what. It's like their life's mission to destroy mine. They hit me, insult me, ignore me, shall I go on? Kazuki was the favorite, so they pretty much left him alone. They only ignored him and insulted him. He lived off his friends, so we both never were in the house much. He gave me food, got me to my doctor's appointments, helped me with special missions, and all that normal big brother stuff. He's a little self-centered, which didn't really show until he became a Jonin. He started hanging around his friends more often, he was quieter, and he just couldn't look me in the eye any more. I myself don't like making eye-contact with other people, merely because I'm very shy, but he always looked people dead in the eye. I thought none of that was a serious problem, but that evening, he proved me wrong.

Anyway, after a little while, the gang fight broke up. It was safe to go outside again, but I didn't wanna go out there just yet. It was supposed to rain. I didn't like sleeping out in the rain because I got really, really cold. I was suddenly struck (upside the head to be exact) with an idea, and it gnawed and chewed at my brain until I just HAD to get it out. I grabbed my sketchbook and a few colored pencils, and then I began to scribble down the picture that had formed in my head. I had no clue what I was drawing. But I just couldn't put the pencil down to see exactly what, I just kept scribbling. It was like no matter what I did, I just could not stop.

All of a sudden, Kazuki came in. He looked like he was determined to do something. He went into his room, with that same determined look about him. I thought he just needed some space, so I simply went back to my drawing. After about 2 minutes, he came out of his room, a duffel bag slung over his back.

"I'm leaving, Ryoko." He deadpanned. (Ryoko is my real name)

It felt like someone just punched me in the stomach.

"…W-what are you talking about?" I stuttered.

"I'M LEAVING OKAY? GOD, YOU'RE SO STUPID! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE! IF YOU'D BEEN PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO ME, YOU'D KNOW THAT! RINI (Rini is his girlfriend) AND I ARE TAKING OFF, SO DON'T EVEN TRY TO FOLLOW ME!"

"S-so, you never cared…?" I squeaked in shock.

"JUST SHUT UP! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND I NEVER DID! SO WHAT IF I'M LEAVING? YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! YOU DON'T NEED ME! YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW, KID. I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. IT WOULD ONLY REMIND ME OF THIS HELL HOLE!" He yelled. As if that weren't enough, he whacked me so hard I fell on the floor. He stormed out of the house without another word. I sat there on the floor, completely and utterly stunned. I was even too stunned to cry. Besides, crying wouldn't do me any good. I had no idea he was that strong. I couldn't even process the event, it was so mean. I plainly sat there, long after he was gone.

At that moment, I made a promise to myself. I would never trust anyone ever again. It took him 11 years to build my trust, and in that short conversation, he tore it all down. Why should I give anyone else a chance?

When my mom and dad got home, they were a little tipsy, which I was used to.

"RYOKO GET YOUR BUTT IN THE LIVING ROOM RIGHT NOW!" My dad hollered. I walked depressingly into the room.

"Where's your brother?" He asked in an irritated tone.

"…He's… He's gone…" I said brokenly.

"WHAT?" He yelled, completely enraged.

"…"

When I didn't reply, he snapped. He threw a nearby vase into the opposite wall, causing it to shatter. He then turned to me and only one thought ran through my head as he made his way towards me. 'Aw crap aw crap aw crap!'

He picked up my wimpy little 11 year old body and threw me against the glass coffee table so hard it shattered. I bit my lip to keep the screams in. It started to bleed, so I swallowed the blood, simply because it had no where else to go.

"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID! CLEAN THIS UP RIGHT NOW!" He yelled. My vision blurred with unshed tears that I hadn't realized were there. I cleaned up the glass and picked the glass out of my arms, hands, feet, legs, and face. I ran for the bathroom to wrap up my injuries. If I got blood on the carpet, I'd probably have to clean it up. I wrapped up the cuts and took my anemia pills, as I was getting anemic from the amount of precious blood leaking from the gouging wounds coating my body. This wasn't the first time it happened, and I was convinced it wouldn't be the last.

There wasn't much I could do for the bruises, which I received from dad because I got cuts on my face, where you can see them. It wasn't my fault, but he needed SOMEONE to blame it on.

I scurried to my would-be room to hide. I locked myself in the hidden walk-in closet, which was long forgotten by my parents. I hide out in there when the outside world gets to be too much. Ghost and Shadow were sitting in there, waiting for me. I decided to sleep there with them, because it would help me think.

I held in all my emotions, even when I was alone. All emotion was bottled up inside, like carbonated Dr. Pepper. I hated having to do that, but no one would care if you cried, they'd just watch you in disappointment. I just kept them in; simply hoping a day would come when I could let them out. After a little while of pondering things, I noticed I was absent-mindedly playing with a gauze bandage wrapped around my forearm. I didn't care much, so I let myself play with it. Suddenly, I heard yelling. I snapped out of my playful little trance and listened closely.

"SCREW THIS! I'M LEAVING! IF THAT BOY'S JUST GONNA TAKE OFF LIKE THIS THEN I DON'T CARE ANY MORE! I JUST DON'T!" My enraged father yelled.

"Ryoko could do the same thing once she realizes her brother can make it out there!" My mother yelled.

"YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THAT LITTLE MISTAKE IF THAT'S HOW HER BROTHER'S GONNA TREAT US!"

With that, the door opened, slammed shut, and I was all alone in the world.

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So did you like it? I hope you did. I thought this chapter lacked substance, so please tell me what you think. I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can, so just hang in there!


	2. Chapter 2: Running away, and the urge

To be honest, I didn't care if they left. Kazuki ran out on me, why not them too?

I had dreamt of this day, but it didn't exactly feel like I thought it would. I thought I would be living in another house, with a new, caring, loving family. But I was still stuck in the same old scary house. I thought my parents would be in prison, or dead. They just gave up on me and left. I thought Kazuki would still be here. He ran out on me. I thought I would feel happy. I didn't. I felt alone. I knew I still had Ghost, Shadow, Rainy, and Sunny, but it felt like I would never feel love by another human being again. Not that I ever did. I didn't know what love felt like. Sure, I loved my pets, but to be loved by another human being, I didn't know.

I laid in the walk-in closet, listening to the silence, the silence listening to me. I suddenly felt exhausted. I closed my eyes, and fell into a dozing stage, my thoughts not quite settling down.

Boom

An idea hit me upside the head out of the blue. I sat up and stared out into the dark space of the closet.

"I could run away." I whispered into the darkness, as though someone would answer. I stood up and grabbed an already-packed bag, filled with clean clothes. It was fairly big, so I packed a few more things.

I slung it over my back, and motioned for Ghost and Shadow to follow me outside. There, I woke up Rainy and Sunny. They're trained animal shinobi, a rarity in Konoha. They wanted to get the hell out of there too, so we decided to go. Where; we didn't know. How; Shinobi style, of course. I jumped into the nearest tree, followed by my pets.

We skimmed from tree to tree until we were at the entrance of the village. We walked through the gate, and kept right on walking until we were quite far away from the village. I turned and looked at it.

Maybe I'd be back, maybe not. I stared at it, just plainly stared.

"Goodbye Konoha." I said quietly. I turned, and ran off into the rainy night, not knowing exactly where I was going, just as long as we could leave this place.

I didn't quite know if I was crying or not, because the rain drops were pelting my face, making it numb. But it sure felt like I was. I sincerely wished I'd thought this whole thing through, because it only added to my stress disorders.

Rainy loved rain, so naturally, he was hopping and frolicking through the cold rain shower, acting absolutely blissful. I smiled a little, watching him make the most of a cold miserable night. Sunny loved the sun, so she wasn't enjoying herself one bit. Ghost and Shadow did everything in their power to stay dry. They even attempted to climb inside my backpack. I told them they wouldn't fit, but that just started a whole different conversation.

We jumped through the trees for the next 3 days. It NEVER stopped raining the entire time. I was soaked to the bone and I was so cold I couldn't feel anything. On the 4th day, we stopped to rest. Sunny found a nice spot under a tree, so we sat down. I checked over the surrounding land, and figured we were some where in between Konoha and the land of wind border.

It was freezing, and everything was all wet, so we couldn't set anything on fire. I suddenly realized we were sitting next to a training field. I do not know how I missed that.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

In a certain little lair, in a certain little part of the woods, the Akatsuki were… Well, being the Akatsuki.

Hidan was in his room, doing a ritual for no apparent reason.

Kakuzu was in his room, counting out his money that he stole.

Kisame was in his room, talking to his girlfriend, Wakumi, who was sitting in her aquarium.

Itachi was being all emo in his room.

Tobi was watching Suite Life on Deck.

Deidara and Sasori were sitting in Deidara's room, arguing about art.

Konan and Pein were sitting in the kitchen, not doing anything about their currently crazed members. They were aware of the storm going on outside, but this was one of those rare times when Pein wasn't the cause. It simply hadn't rained in quite a while.

Pein had a strange urge to go outside, so he gave in. He got up and went outside. When he arrived at the patio deck, he looked out over the surrounding land, not expecting to see anything.

The universe decided to contradict his expectation. He did see something. He saw a teenager sitting under a tree, next to the training field. No, not even a teenager, but a young girl.

She was wearing black basketball trunks and a baggy gray zip-up sweater. Her sweater was unzipped for some reason, and he could clearly see she had a plain gray and white t-shirt on. She had short black hair, which was styled in a messy bob-cut.

I didn't think she was an intruder because she wasn't doing anything. She was just staring blankly at the ground. I didn't exactly know what to do, so I decided to go talk with her.


	3. Chapter 3: the conversation

Kimiko's POV

I sat there, under that tree. Nothing much was going though my mind, which is a very rare experience for me. Suddenly, a dude that looks like Ichigo Kurosaki appeared in front of me. I gasped and shrank back into the tree. Rainy and Sunny looked up at Ichigo Kurosaki Dude and stared at him curiously. Ghost and Shadow sat up in the tree, watching him. He stared at me, like he was sizing me up.

"Hello." He said coolly.

"…H-hi…" I stuttered shyly.

Pein's POV

She was as pale as a sheet. She was shivering and shaking. But her face was beautiful. The first thing that captures you is her face. And that leads you to her beautiful eyes. They were light green with flecks of brown. It was like she could see down into your soul. I was captivated by her face, and I just couldn't look away.

I snapped myself out of it, and continued my conversation.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked.

"…D-do you l-live here? I'm sorry…" She said quietly.

"No, don't worry about it. You look cold. Would you like to come inside with me?" I asked politely.

I was met with the slightest of nods. I barely saw it myself. It was almost like she wanted to nod, but she stopped herself. I just couldn't bring myself to leave her outside, so I took it as a yes. I smiled.

"Well, come on." I said, turning. She stood up and we walked through the training field. When we got back to the patio deck, I noticed 4 shinobi animals were following us. The girl turned around and she said something to them. What ever that something was, it worked. They waddled under the deck and curled up to go to sleep. I tried to keep my face expressionless, but on the inside, I was in awe.

When we got inside, the first thing she did was take off her shoes. I saw that they were ninja shoes. That would mean she was a trained shinobi, but which? Then, I noticed her forehead protector, which was around her neck. It was the weird leaf insignia that doesn't even look like a leaf, Konoha.

I decided to take her to my office, where we could have some privacy. Her feet were wrapped up in bandages, which seemed a little strange. I also noticed there were some bandages wrapped around her legs, and there was even a bandage or two on her face, but they were well hidden by her side-bangs. The side bangs curved around her face, framing it. The shape reminded me of fangs, fang-bangs. They weren't neat, but that was kinda the point.

When we got to the office, I sat down behind my desk and she took a seat in front of the desk.

"So… how old are you?" I asked. I didn't ask for her name, because I had a feeling she wouldn't answer.

"…I-I'm 11 and ½…" She squeaked shyly.

Kimiko's POV

I didn't mean to sound so scared, but I'm shy by heart, so I couldn't really help it.

"Where are you from?" he asked. I knew he knew the answer, but I answered anyway.

"… K-Konoha…" I squeaked.

"Why are you here?" He asked in a tone that sounded like he was asking a ghost.

"…I-I just got c-caught in the s-storm." I said quietly, not giving a straight answer.

"Mmm-hmmm… do you have a place to stay tonight?" he asked. I nodded, using all my will power trying not to say no.

"Don't lie." He said, narrowing his unusual gray eyes. I tightened up and shook my head no.

"You can stay here if you want." He said.


	4. Chapter 4: Jolly ranchers and a meeting

Kimiko's POV

I felt a sudden surge of happiness. I didn't exactly know these people, but at least I was out of the rain.

"Thank you…" I said quietly, not knowing what else I could say.

"You're welcome. Now, could you wait here? I have to go inform the others that you'll be staying here." He said, getting up and leaving the room.

"Others?" I asked under my breath. Oh well. At least I wouldn't be alone with that guy. He kinda scares me. I had no idea what to do, so I did what any normal person would. I dug behind his desk ;).

The first thing I found was a profile drawer. I suddenly knew where I was, The Akatsuki Organization. I knew the name, but I didn't know the members. The profile drawer helped with that problem. They were in alphabetical order. But before I could dig in to that drawer, I found a candy drawer. So… much… candy… I took a jolly rancher and put it under my tongue. It already sounds like I talk with one under there, so I figured no one would notice.

I heard someone coming, so I quickly sat down… a little too quickly. A few of my cuts throbbed from the sudden change in blood pressure. It also could have been the fact that they weren't cleaned. Either way, I had to grin and bear it.

Ichigo Dude came in and smiled lightly at me. I had a shy smile already on my face, which was partially caused by the jolly rancher.

"Come with me please." He said, motioning me to follow.

"O-okay…" I squeaked, following him down a short, dark corridor. He led me into a meeting room with a long black polished granite table that was like a MILE long. There were swivel chairs lining the sides and most of them were occupied by the Akatsuki members. Great…

Pein's POV

Everyone wanted to get a good look at her, so I asked her to follow me into the meeting room so everyone could see her. I showed her to a seat and took my own seat. Konan couldn't take her eyes off her, and when she did, I knew that one question she wanted to ask me. 'Can we keep her?' she mouthed, like she was asking for a kitten. I ignored the question and turned back to the child.

"What's your rank?" I asked.

"…Chuunin…" she said, in her shy little way.

I heard a few murmurs of surprise run through my members, but I ignored it and kept her talking.

"I-I have a profile of m-myself from K-Konoha. D-do you want it?" She piped. I was caught off guard, but I nodded. She leaned down and that's when I noticed she had a bag with her. She unzipped it and took out a folder. She slid it across the table and it landed perfectly in front of me. Konan leaned over and looked over my shoulder to get a better look.


	5. Chapter 5: New recruit and a new home

Hi! I decided t owirte some more! Sorry they're getting increasingly short, but I'm just SO excited. I try to get some more up soon!

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Pein's POV

The funny thing was… she removed her name from the profiles. Konan and I looked at each other every time we came across a blank where her name should have been. She really didn't want us to know her name. But she was quite successful. She was already a chuunin while most of her classmates weren't even genin yet. Her older brother was a Jonin at 16, which wasn't all that unusual. But the strange thing was, there were pieces missing. Her parents weren't in the profile, and her health article was gone. Although Konan and I were suspicious, we couldn't deny that she was a very talented young girl. We could use someone like her around. We called Kakuzu over and showed him the profile. He was a little unhappy with our plan, but then Konan got into one of her moods, and I could only watch helplessly as she dragged Kakuzu around and the chibi depression rain cloud formed over his head. He gave in, and I only had one part.

"Hey kid? We looked at your profile, and …" I said, trying to excite her in some way. It looked like it worked. She fidgeted a little, and I figured now was the best time.

"You're a member of the Akatsuki."

Hidan's POV

WHAT THE HELL DID HE JUST SAY? We find a jacked-up 11 year old and he recruits her just like that?

Kimiko's POV

OMJ. OOOOOOOOOOMJ. WHAT DID HE JUST SAY? I gasped and almost lost my composure.

A blue haired chick squealed next to Ichigo Dude and I figured that was out of character for her because everyone looked at her like she had 2 heads.

"W-wha?" I squeaked. Ichigo Guy nodded as though to confirm my unsaid question. 'Are you serious?'

A smile crept across my features and I couldn't help it one bit.

It was a little strange that they would recruit me straight off the streets, but I wasn't complaining. Looks like I got a home...

Konan's POV

I myself wasn't sure why we recruited her just like that, but at least I wouldn't be the only girl any more. The newly formed silence was shattered by Tobi screaming his catch phrase.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

The new girl screamed and tipped back in her chair.

Welcome to my world. ;)

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YAY! Kimiko has a place to call home! PLEASE REVIEW. PLEASE?


	6. Chapter 6: Nicknames and my room

Kimiko's POV

A guy wearing an orange swirly mask came out of no where and yelled,

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

And it caught me off guard, causing me to scream and tip back in my chair. I lay on the floor, staring up at the orange mask.

"I-I'm okay… Kinda…" I said from my odd position on the floor.

"Tobi is sorry…" He said, continuing to stare at me. I did my very best to look like I was about to cry, because Mr. Orange Swirly Mask Man Who Thinks It's Okay to Scare People seemed like he was the kind of person to believe in fake tears. It worked. He turned and walked away, with a chibi sad raincloud forming over his masked head.

I stood up and a few of the cuts started throbbing, and I even noticed one was oozing blood, even under the gauze bandage. It was the biggest one on my left forearm. I grabbed it and pressed, as I've been told you're supposed to stop the bleeding that way. I made it look like I was simply grabbing my arm. I set up my tipped swivel chair and sat back down. Everyone stared at me for a second or two, and I felt a blush run across my face. But they eventually turned to Mr. Orange Swirly Mask Man Who Thinks It's Okay to Scare People and stared at him. He shrank down in his chair and muttered,

"Tobi is a good boy."

Eventually, all attention turned back on Ichigo Dude. I, on the other hand, was examining everyone. There was a dude that looked like a shark, a scary guy with a black mask, a long haired blonde guy, a red headed half puppet, a big venus fly trap, and an Uchiha. I decided to make up nicknames, because I didn't know their exact names.

Dude that looks like a shark became, Shark Dude

Scary guy with a black mask became, Scary Guy

Long haired blonde guy became, Blonde Dude

Red headed half puppet became, Red Head

Big Venus fly trap became, Plant man

Uchiha became Uchiha Kid

Blue haired chick remained blue haired chick.

Ichigo dude remained Ichigo Dude

Mr. Orange Swirly Mask Man Who Thinks It's Okay to Scare People remained Mr. Orange Swirly Mask Man Who Thinks It's Okay to Scare People.

I suddenly realized I had taken my hand off my large cut. I looked down at it. It was still oozing blood, but it was in slow motion mode, so I tried to forget about it.

"Alright, meeting dismissed." Ichigo Dude said, breaking me from my little world. I waited for everyone to leave before standing up. Blue Haired Chick came up to me before I could escape.

"Hi. I'll show you to your room, if you'll just follow me." She said, giving me a polite smile. I gave her my signature shy smile and followed her.

The jolly rancher was almost gone, which was quite depressing for me. Where was I gonna find MORE jolly ranchers? All thoughts disappeared as we arrived at my new room.

"Here's your new room. Holler if you need anything." She said before walking away.

Wow. I got a room of my very own. MY very own room, for me! In fact, I got a home of my very own. A crazy one, but a home. I was going to like this very much…


	7. Chapter 7: 1st week of insanity

Hi! sorry about the late update. I was stuck at my mom's office. You guys enjoy it, mkay?

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Kimiko's POV

For some strange reason, it was already painted in my favorite colors. It was dark gray, with splashes of pink and black here and there. I figured that Blue Haired chick painted it, but decided to move in some where else. It was the only explanation I could come up with.

Over the next week, I made a few friends. On Monday night, I got a little scared from a nightmare I had. When I awakened in a panic, I glanced at the clock. 4:30 am. Holy Crap, I'm weird… So, I wandered out into the corridors, as I just wanted to go for a walk. It was 4:30 am, and I didn't wanna wake any one up. So, I simply wandered up and down the many dark, spooky, lonely corridors for an hour or 2. I was having a thought war with myself, asking why they took me in and recruited me, just like that because it was still bugging me. That's when I noticed someone was there with me. Just in time to be grabbed by the shoulder.

Out of reflex, I spun around and kicked whoever it was in *clears throat*'The forbidden fruit.'

It must have been a 'he', because he collapsed on the floor and moaned in pain.

"Aw crap… AWWWW crap…" I muttered, watching whoever it was roll around on the floor.

"A-are you okay?" I asked in my shy, concerned little way.

"Not… likely" The figure muttered as he rolled around some more. After about 20 minutes of moaning and rolling around on the floor, he finally stood up and gave me a death glare.

"Don't EVER freakin' do that again!" He said coldly. Now that I had a good view of him, I didn't recognize him. Maybe I didn't see him at the meeting or something, but he didn't have a nickname. I decided to give him one. Jashinist Dude. He had a Jashinist necklace, so I figured he was a Jashinist.

"W-well, I wouldn't have done that if y-you hadn't snuck up on me." I said.

"I didn't sneak up on you." He denied.

"Y-yeah, you did." I said.

"No. I was… Uh… W-what are you doing out here?" He quickly changed the subject.

"I-I had a nightmare…" I muttered, kind of embarrassed.

"About what?"

"… A big s-spider…" I said quietly, looking down. He chuckled a little.

"Go to bed." He said, a smile still stuck on his face. I nodded and turned, acting like I knew where I was going.

"D-don't sneak up on m-me." I muttered jokingly. He smiled just a little bit more. I turned and acted like I knew where I was going. Eventually, I found my way back to my bedroom. It was 6:30am, so I just laid there listening to Ghost and Shadow talk quietly. I thought Jashinist Dude would be WAY madder than that, especially since I probably diminished his chances of ever having children, but he seemed okay it was like he couldn't stay mad at me or something.

On Tuesday, I learned everyone's names. Shark Dude's name was Kisame Hoshigaki.

Scary Guy's name was Kakuzu.

Blonde Dude's name was Deidara.

Red Head's name was Sasori

Plant man's name was Zetsu

Uchiha kid's name was Itachi Uchiha

Blue Haired Chick's name was Konan

Ichigo Dude's name was Pein, but I was to address him as Leader or Leader-Sama

Mr. Orange Swirly Mask Man Who Thinks It's Okay to Scare People's name was Tobi

And how did I learn this? Remember Monday night? Well, that turned into Tuesday morning. I got up because I just couldn't get back to sleep after Hidan sent me back to bed. Plus, my cuts were still fresh, and they were oozing a fresh amount of blood. I got up to change them in the bathroom, but I zoned out and ended up going to the dining hall. I didn't expect any one to be there. I mean, who gets up at 6:30 am? But when I got there, the universe made one of its famous contradictions. EVERYONE was there. Just barely, but they were there. I sat down and watched everyone else eat, because I wasn't hungry. I kept getting weird glances from Hidan, but I never met the glare directly, as I said before, I'm very shy. Pein-Sama decided to introduce me to everyone, so that's when I learned what to call them. Tobi, of course, had to shatter the silence.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

I screamed and once again, tipped back in my chair.

"I'm okay…" I said from my position on the floor.

"Tobi is sorry again." Tobi said, once again looming over me. I fake cried again, and it worked. He walked away, with that same chibi sad cloud above his head. I sat back up. My cuts throbbed, which then reminded me what I was supposed to be doing instead of coming to the dining room. I acted like nothing happened, not wanting to go through the previous situation in the meeting room. I pretended to eat by using a trick Kazuki taught me. You hide the food under other food, or bunch it up to make it look smaller. We called it, 'hide in plain sight' or HIPS. Which I was against, but it was code, so we went by that. I used it, and it worked quite effectively. Everyone believed it.

"I-I'm done…" I said standing and leaving the room. No one stopped me, so I kept walking. Besides, what good is food if you're almost never hungry?

I wandered into one of the many bathrooms hidden all over this now questionable hideout. Then, I realized something. I'd need bandages to replace the ones I already had. When I found some digging through my bag, I quickly applied them. I knew from years upon years of experience that one of them was bound to get infected. Maybe it's because they weren't cleaned…?

On Wednesday, I found out that this… Tobi… creature… thingy… liked watching the Disney channel.

On Thursday, I learned that I was quite popular. And one of my cuts started oozing puss… *pokes cut*… So cool…

On Friday, Konan found out about the cuts. I was wandering down a random corridor, poking an exposed cut which was bruising. It was purple with pink and white centering it. I was so absorbed in my own injuries, I didn't notice Konan coming. She would have walked passed me if I hadn't groaned in pain when I pushed on it a little too hard. She spun around and looked at me.

"Are you okay?" She asked, examining me closely with those blue eyes of hers. I nodded promptly and tried to get away, but it was too late. She grabbed my upper arm and spun me around.

"Let me see."

"…" I stared at the floor, and showed her the cut in shame.

"Ow… That looks like it hurts…" She said, trying to ignore the urge to poke it.

"Is it cleaned?" She asked, looking at me, trying to invite my eyes to hers. I shook my head slowly, my head still down.

"Well, come with me." She said, finding a bathroom in the vast labyrinths of doors. I followed her, and she somehow obtained a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide (cleaning alcohol) and a few wads of cotton balls. She ended up finding all of them on me… every single one. I was on the verge of crying by the time she was done. She gave me a smile and patted my head. A thought crossed my mind. 'Is this what moms are like?' I didn't know. I never had a good mom. I hoped she wouldn't tell anyone, because I didn't want anyone walking on eggshells around me.

On Saturday, Konan told people. I guess the universe had nothing better to do than to contradict people like me.

On Sunday, I drew a picture. A pretty one.

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Yay, Kimiko drew a pretty picture! PLZ review! I know you're there. (That sounded scary...) Just review. Or KONAN will come and clean all your cuts! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	8. Chapter 8: The game suggestion

I decided to write you guys another one! (even though I'm not getting reviews...)

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Kimiko's POV

Over the next few weeks, my personality started to show. My eyes used to be hollow, like looking through stained glass. Now, they looked clear and full of emotion. I used to be miserable, sad, pathetic, lost, and non-trusting. That promise I made in the closet that night got harder and harder to keep, until I broke it completely and I made friends with them.

Anyway, my true personality started to show. I didn't even know my true self until it came out. I was still shy and quiet. I still didn't make direct eye contact. But I looked at faces; I didn't just stare at the ground any more. I looked up, and if I was having a good enough time, I'd make a little eye contact for a few seconds. I was very silly and sweet. I was artistic and imaginative. I fit in well with everyone.

I fit in around Kakuzu because I knew the value of money (because I almost never handled money before I met them) and Kakuzu had the money.

I fit in with Hidan because we both know about Jashinism. I don't do it, but I believed in Jashin. That's why I say OMJ instead of OMG. Hidan showed me a few rituals and he taught me so much more about cuss words.

I fit in with Deidara and Sasori because we loved art. Plus, it was funny to listen to them argue on and on about art. I also learned that I liked coloring. When they drew a picture that needed color, I would help out. We spent most of our time showing each other our work. I usually got the most praise because my pictures were so detailed.

I fit in with Tobi because we liked to watch TV. I was quite scared of him, but we came together to watch TV, so that gave us something to talk about.

I fit in with Itachi because I was also sort of a downer, so we basically talked about emoness and what not. I could also make him laugh.

I fit in with Konan because she and I could gossip and act down right girly and she apparently couldn't do that with the others because they're guys. I jokingly suggested she could've talked to Itachi or Deidara, which made her laugh I loved making people laugh.

I fit in with Pein because I had been through a lot too, and I could brighten his day a bit with my shy humor.

At dinner, about a month after they recruited me, someone brought up the subject of paranormal stuff like ghosts and aliens. I listened quietly to the conversation, and since I was somewhat a sissy, I started to get creeped out. Of course, I think you know what comes next.

TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed, appearing once again next to me. That was his 3rd time doing that to me, and I still wasn't used to it. I screamed and tipped back on my chair.

"I'm okay… not…" I said from an oddly familiar position on the floor. I stood up and cracked a smile.

"I CANNOT get used to that…" I said, a laugh lacing my voice. Everyone laughed. I felt all warm inside after that. I wasn't hungry, so I did the HIPS trick. No one had caught on yet, actually. I went into the lounge room and sat down in my favorite love seat. I pulled out my MP3 player and listened to it for a while. At 11:00pm, I went to bed and had nightmares about Bigfoots, ghosts, spiders, snakes, aliens, sea monsters, and other scary things.

The next morning at 5:30AM…(holy crap I'm weird…)

I woke up on the floor the next morning, which was strange because I was usually a light sleeper. Maybe the aliens put me there…

I got dressed into a plain baggy gray t-shirt and a baggy gray pair of trunks. Yeah, I like gray… A LOT.

When I arrived at the dining room, everyone was there. They must be weird too. I still wasn't hungry, so I performed HIPS again. After that, we went into the lounge room. We didn't watch TV, we just talked. I was the comic relief character that whole time, and I only said 2 sentences.

"Holy fish crap." And "What's the difference between cow pee and mountain dew?" Don't ask I can't give you an answer.

Konan was suddenly struck with an idea. (no, not upside the head, sadly.)

"Do you guys wanna play a game?" She asked, a suspicious grin surfacing on her face.

"What kind of game?" I asked, scooting closer to her.

"It's called 'The Confession Confusion' game. It goes like this. We write down something that no one else knows about you. It could be a secret or a confession, or something like that. But NO ONE can know. We fold them up and put them in a hat. Someone picks one out of the hat and reads it. WE all have to guess who's it is."

Everyone thought this over.

"That sounds fun." I said, eager to play. Everyone nodded at my comment. I got the hat, Deidara got the pens, and Sasori got the slips of paper.

"How many to we have to write?" I asked, grabbing a pen.

"A minimum of 3." Konan said casually, a smile still plastered on her expression.

I decided to write which ever ones that came to mind. This was going to be interesting...

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There you have it. A cliff hanger. I never knew how important reviews could be until I signed up! PLZ review. Curtisism, compliment, I don't really care. Just review.


	9. Chapter 9: Randomness and hugs

Kimiko's POV

I dropped my slips of paper into the hat and waited for the others. I examined their faces and the only one who seemed to be having trouble was Hidan. Figures…

Finally, everyone was ready.

"Alright, who goes first?" Konan asked, looking around at us. We were all sitting on the floor in a messy circle, so she could easily see our faces.

"I'll do it." I stated, reaching into the hat. I surprised myself by volunteering right away, but I didn't let that ruin my concentration. I pulled up a hastily folded slip of paper. I unfolded it and read it out loud in my usual unintentionally sweet voice.

"_I have a big pink fuzzy bunny in my closet._" I read without faltering.

Everyone assumed it was me.

I gave them a look that said 'NO WAY.'

My mind suddenly came to a shocking realization. My breath caught in my throat and my strange green eyes widened in shock. I looked at Itachi.

I knew it. He had a look of fear on his face, a rare thing to see. He looked at me, and he knew that I knew.

'No' he mouthed, his eyes growing wide.

I nodded.

'No!'

I nodded

'Please!' he begged

"Itachi." I said, startling myself by being so hasty.

Everyone looked at Itachi. He hung his head in shame, but nodded. We cracked a few smiles, but we made sure he didn't see.

"Next." Konan said.

"I will." Leader-Sama said, picking out a piece of paper from the hat. He unfolded it and read aloud,

"_I don't know what a hug feels like_."

I froze in shock. I had been petting Shadow, who had waltzed into the room. He ran from the room, knowing enough to get out.

"That could be any one of you." Leader-Sama said, looking around the room.

I looked down, something I barely ever do any more. So what if I didn't know what a hug felt like? A lot of people don't…

Itachi picked up on this. He looked at me, and he knew.

I shook my head slowly as if to say, 'you wouldn't'

He nodded as if to say, 'try me.'

"I know who it is." Itachi said, pointing at me. I looked to the side and nodded slowly.

"So you don't know what a hug feels like? That's so sad…" Konan said, trying to make eye contact with me, which I unsurprisingly denied.

"Who's next?" Leader-Sama asked, holding out the hat, trying to act as though nothing just happened.

Kisame leaned forward, picking out a slip of paper.

"I _don't wear underwear on Tuesdays_."

We all exploded with laughter and 'ewws'. After we were only down to small chuckles, I took a wild stab in the dark.

"Kakuzu?"

"HOW'D YOU KNOW?" He asked suspiciously.

"I got it right? That was a random guess." I said, now surprised that I guessed correctly.

"You don't wear underwear on Tuesdays?"Kisame asked, looking at Kakuzu with a look of confusion and humor.

"Why not? Tuesdays are just there to fill up the week. Nothing ever happens on a Tuesday." He said, trying to make it seem less gross.

Something DOES happen on Tuesdays. You don't wear your underwear!" I said, trying to defend that needless day of the week known as Tuesday. Everyone sniggered at my comment; even Kakuzu had to smile a bit under his mask.

Deidara leaned forward and grabbed a slip of paper out of the hat.

"_I make out with my Justin Beiber poster when no one's around_, hm."

I started laughing so hard, I fell over backwards. It took us about 5 minutes before regaining our composure.

"It's Kisame, isn't it?" Sasori asked, smirking to himself.

Kisame's normally blue skin tone became scarlet red.

"So?" He asked in a high voice. I started laughing again, which caused me to fall over sideways. I landed in Hidan's lap, who was sitting next to me. He didn't mind.

Hidan then volunteered to draw one.

"_I'm a good singer_."

I quickly sat up, but I realized they were all looking at Konan.

"You guys already know I'm a good singer." Konan countered.

I looked off to the side, trying to avoid drawing attention to myself. But it was too late. Everyone knew.

"What?" I asked, feeling my face become warm.

Leader-Sama tilted his head and gave me a look that said, 'you know damn well what'.

"So what? A LOT of people can sing well." I said, a strangely out of place smile developing on my face.

Anyway, the game continued for about an hour. Here are the results.

Me:

I don't know what a hug feels like.

I'm a good singer.

I'm stash food to make it look like I ate. (HIPS.)

Konan:

I like the color pink

I don't like cows.

I made out with a wall once.

Pein:

I have a picture of a kitten on my laptop.

I like boy bands.

I kissed a random girl on the street once. (Konan kicked him after that)

Kisame:

I make out with my Justin Beiber poster when no one's around. (I told him Wakumi would probably think he's cheating on her)

I like to eat fish food. (Big surprise…)

I only pretend to hate getting slapped.

Itachi:

I have a big pink fuzzy bunny in my closet.

I like wearing duck boxers. (O…M…J…)

I like to watch Desperate House Wives.

Tobi:

Tobi likes to drug people so he can do THINGS to them. (-_-'…)

Tobi likes to eat cookies with cheese on top.

Tobi likes to wear his underwear outside his pants.

Deidara:

I like teddy bears.

I can balance 30 peas on my fork.

I like to eat waffles.

Sasori:

I secretly enjoy sitting on the dryer.

I like to stare at onions. (.)

I had a wet dream about Deidara.

Zetsu:

I secretly like to eat salad. ( OMJ he eats his own kind.)

I don't usually wear any other clothes besides my Akatsuki cloak and occasionally underwear. (-_-…)

I spy one people when they're sleeping.

Kakuzu:

I don't wear underwear on Tuesdays.

I don't know how to do long division.

I like the word, 'pickle.'

Yeah… We're pretty messed up, aren't we? At lunch and dinner, everyone kept looking at me and my food. I didn't use HIPS this time. Ghost and Shadow were under the table, so I was secretly feeding them the food off my plate. I ate as much as my stomach could handle, which isn't much.

That night, before I went to bed, Konan came to say goodnight. She gave me a hug as I was turning to go into my room. I was taken aback by it. I found out what a hug felt like. It was warm and comforting. It made me want to cry. She walked off to her bedroom, which is across the hall. I went into my room and cried for about a minute. It felt great. That's when I broke that promise I had made in the closet that night. I trusted them.


	10. Chapter 10: Waffles, chickens, and cows

Konichwa my beloved readers! I don't particularly like this chapter, but maybe you will. It's very random, but that's never an issue, now is it?

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That night, I had a nightmare about chickens and waffles. It was quite disturbing and I couldn't go back to sleep. That was 4:00am. I couldn't do anything else besides wander the halls once again.

I was expecting Hidan to sneak up on me again, seeing as he doesn't seem that smart, but after a while, nothing happened. It was eerily quiet, not even the late spring/early summer crickets were making any noise.

After an hour or two of wandering aimlessly through this so called '_hideout_', I pulled out my trusty MP3 player and skimmed through a few songs. I wasn't watching where I was going, and subsequently ran into a wall.

"Ow… how did that get there?" I mumbled, staring at the wall. I figured it was a sign I should head back. I turned around and miraculously found my way back to my room. It was 5:50am, which meant I'd been walking around for almost 2 hours. Wow…

I decided to head to the dining room, where I expected everyone to be. And yes, they were.

"Hey kid. You're up early." Hidan said, taking a bite of bacon.

It seems I've gained another nickname besides 'new girl'. Actually, I liked 'kid' better.

I smiled and took a seat. My appetite was never that good, and today wasn't going to be any different. I only ate 2 Belgium waffles. I took great enjoyment in the waffles' suffering. No one could quite understand why I had a faint smile on my face all the way through breakfast.

Pein's POV

No one knew what the girl's name was, so she went by 'kid' and 'new girl'. She seemed to be developing a personality, which I took great joy in monitoring.

At breakfast, she seemed to be enjoying her waffles quite a bit, as she had a faint smile throughout.

After breakfast, I sent Kisame, Itachi, Zetsu, and Kakuzu out on a mission. The Sound Village was having some difficulties with another village, so the more powerful ninja were gone, which meant it would be an easy way to steal supplies.

They returned 20 minutes later with the stolen supplies. And Konan thought it wasn't a good idea to send them in the Akatsuki Suburban. (Hopefully they didn't get the license plate number…) It was like Christmas, but with food.

Zetsu kept eyeing the piles of food that were in the kitchen, so I sent him outside. New girl followed him, as she probably thought he would eat her dogs.

Kimiko's POV

I went outside with Zetsu to make sure he wouldn't eat my dogs. After making him promise that he wouldn't, I went inside and snuck a few boxes of junk food to my room.

I stuffed a few boxes under my bed, one in between the wall in my bed, and a few in the bottom drawer of my nightstand next to my bed. Now I was prepared in case of emergency.

After lunch, I went outside. Zetsu found a cow that had wandered too far from its herd at the sound village and he planned on eating it.

It was quite humid out, and an unpleasant odor was being emitted from the bloody carcass. I quickly got up and sat in another tree, farther away, but with a good view of him and the mutilated cow. He was unaware of my presence in the nearby vegetation, which I found quite surprising, seeing as there are 2 of him.

"Where's Zetsu, kid?" Konan asked.

"He's eating the mutilated remains of what was once a cow." I said simply.

"What?" Konan asked, not quite following me.

"N-never mind…" I said, pretending the conversation never happened. Ironically, we were having steak. I tore into mine and finished it quickly. I got seconds, which was almost unheard of in my case. I didn't even look at the other items, I just ate the steak.

I went to bed very late that night. I didn't hear Zetsu come in until about 3:30am. He must not have wanted to leave his kill. Poor Zetsu.

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Yes, poor Zetsu and his cow. REVIEW PLEASE!


	11. Chapter 11: Surveillence part 1

HI. PLZ forgive me for the delay. I hope you guys enjoy it!

P.S. I don't own Naruto. Sorry for frogetting to say that. And I don't own CHEEZITS, or Paranormal Activity. Don't ask. It will all make sense if you just READ.

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Pein's POV

We decided to give the new girl a little test. Here's how it works.

We set up surveillance cameras in every room of the hideout. Then, we leave her alone for the day to see how she does on her own. Konan was against the idea at first, but we finally convinced her it would help in the future.

It was 4:30 am, and we planned on leaving extra early because we wanted to look at her sleeping habits. I peered into her room. I just wanted to be sure that she was asleep. I guess she was a light sleeper, because she bolted upright at the sound of the door creaking open. I sighed in frustration.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I asked from my position at the doorway.

"Oh, it's just you. I thought you were the chicken…" She said groggily, but still sighing with relief.

"The… what?" I asked, trying to make sense of what she just said.

"N-nothing." She said quickly.

"We have to run some arraigns, so you'll be on your own for a while." I said, shifting a little to my side, so I was leaning against the door frame.

"M'kay." She said, rubbing her pretty green-brown eyes before yawning groggily. She looked visibly paler, even though her expression remained groggy. If anything, she looked scared.

"Okay, bye." I said, walking away from the door, leaving it open slightly.

"Bye." She squeaked in a tone of voice I identified as fear.

We quickly hopped in the Akatsuki suburban and drove for approximately a mile before stopping and connecting to the surveillance cameras in the hideout. The first camera we checked was her room. We expected her to be asleep, but she was now sitting up and surveying her dark surroundings. Even though we could barely see anything, due to the fact it was still dark out, we could still see those shiny eyes of hers, carefully examining the room, as though she were expecting something to jump out at her. After a minute or two, she looked as though she were going back to sleep. She nestled down in her soft comfy blankets and shut her eyes. She slept for a solid 20 minutes before bolting upright once again

"Chicken!" She said before realizing she was awake. I guessed she wasn't having a nice dream. She looked at the clock beside her bed on her nightstand and sighed.

"Earlier than yesterday…" She said to herself. She climbed out of bed and zipped to the bathroom. After 3 minutes, she came out and wandered into the kitchen. She did all of this in a short amount of time and she was constantly looking from side to side nervously. That nightmare scared her pretty bad. And of course, she didn't eat anything when she did get to the kitchen. She just peeked out of the window that looks over the training field.

Kimiko's POV

I had a nightmare once again. This time, it was about the chicken He was at the training field out back. I just needed to make sure he wasn't out there. I zipped back to my room and hopped up on the bed.

I had the eerie feeling you get when you're being watched, but I knew I was alone in the house, which made it all the more scary. Alone. There's that word again.

Being alone with no other comforting human presences must've unlocked those old instincts that developed through the passed 11 years of my life. I suddenly felt used to the dark, scary, lonely silence that I basically grew up in. That also brought out the side of me that I thought I had erased from my mind. That side of me where I thought everything was hopeless and where I had no purpose. I pushed every single one of those saddening thoughts into the bowels of my subconscious and forced myself back into the other so called reality my physical self was in.

'This is no time to be a stupid Goth!' I thought to myself. I suddenly realized there was indeed another presence in the room. Too late.

Ghost bursted from the shadows and yelled 'boo!' in Cat speak.

I screamed my girly scream, and if you were able to listen hard enough, you'd have heard a 'holy crap!' hidden in the shrill shriek.

He laughed his little cat laugh and I threw a pillow at him.

"That was not nice at all!" I said, a strangely out of place smile on my face.

"Are they gone?" he asked in cat speak.

"Yes, they're gone." I said, smiling at him.

Pein's POV

She screamed and I even caught the words, 'holy crap!' in the shrillness.

"That was not nice at all!" She said with a smile of relieved humor on her face.

The cat meowed oddly.

"Yes, they're gone." She said, giving the cat a smile.

"Good. I missed talking normally." The cat said. IN CLEAR ENGLISH.

"You should. I missed your voice, actually." New Girl said, leaning forward slightly.

"Hey, don't forget me!" Said another cat as it waddled out of the closet.

"Oh, hey Shadow. I forgot you were in there." New Girl said, brushing her bangs from her eyes.

"Holy crap…" Hidan muttered, staring at the cats on my computer screen.

"Is this kid like an agent of the SBI or something?" Sasori asked to himself more than anyone else.

"FBI, Sasori." Konan corrected.

"Oh, right." He said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Shut up." Konan said, kicking him from under the seat.

"Be quiet!" I ordered.

"When do you think they'll be back?" Shadow said, flopping down next to New Girl.

"I have absolutely no idea." New Girl replied.

"You seem sad about that." Ghost pointed out.

"Why wouldn't I be?" New Girl countered.

"I thought you said-"

"I know what I said. But that promise I made is getting harder and harder to keep. I actually broke it a while ago."

"Well, as long as you're happy, we're happy." Both the cats echoed.

"Thanks." New Girl said with that smile of hers.

"It's only 5:50 am, why are you up?" Shadow asked.

"Nightmare." New Girl responded simply.

"You've been having a lot of those lately." Ghost said, stretching the way only cats can.

"Yeah, but only half of them are serious." New Girl said, grabbing a box of Cheezits from under her bed.

"Hey, where'd she get those?" I asked.

"Hey, can you smuggle us some food? We're getting tired of the bugs and mice." Said Shadow.

"Fine. But don't tell Sunny, I've been trying to get her on a diet." New Girl said, jumping out of bed gingerly.

They went to the kitchen and ate a combined total of 3lbs of meat. It was absolute torture for Zetsu and Kakuzu.

Nothing that interesting happened for a while. Ghost and Shadow went outside for a hike with the dogs which left New Kid to her own devices. All she did was the normal stuff like do her laundry, read, and draw. The weird stuff she did was cry hysterically for 15 seconds, and sit in her closet for half an hour. She also played with her stuffed animals. That may seem normal for an 11 year old to you. But she played with them weirdly.

First, she threw them down a hallway to see which would go the farthest. A gray and pink panda named Panda-Chan won.

Then, she threw them up in the air to see which would go the highest. A dog named Mr. Noodles won.

And last, she did a reenactment of Paranormal Activity using nothing but a timer, fishing line, baby powder, and the stuffed animals. A monkey named MoMo played Micah, and I felt quite bad for him after the poodle that was playing Kate stabbed him.

We stared at the massacre of MoMo the monkey, who played Micah, for several minutes. When we snapped out of it, we noticed New Kid was no longer in the room, but in another across the hall. That's when we noticed her speed. She moved surprisingly fast from room to room, but we didn't really care to notice until that moment.

"Whoa… Zippy little thing, isn't she?" Konan commented gingerly. If anything, I'd say Konan had a reason to be proud of that.

After several minutes, she got bored. She stuffed the animals back into her closet and ate some more cheezits. Everyone was all fired up after her Paranormal Activity reenactment and we almost didn't notice the storm brewing outside. A clap of thunder shattered our silence and she quickly looked up from her spot on the floor, where she was enjoying her cheezits. The gentle pitter-patter of rain against a window was occasionally shattered by the claps of thunder. New Kid scurried into her closet.

"Excuse me, pardon me." She said, squeezing comfortably into the closet. She shut the closet door, and the only thing we heard for the next 20 minutes was thunder and crunching noises, coming from the closet.

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There, didn't I tell you it would make sense if you read? PLZ REVIEW! PLEASE. I'M BEGGING YOU!


	12. Chapter 12: Surveillance part 2

Hello. I'd like to give big mushy hugs to Death's First Bite for the reviews and the big bag of cookies, and to Habu Hyuuga for the AWESOME review and idea. I'll definantly use it. Thanks Habu! And I realized that I've blocked anonomous reivews. Sorry about that. You guys are porbably pissed off at me, huh? Well, don't worry. I'll give you guys something special to amke up for that. When? That's the surprise!

I don't own Naruto, sadly...

I also don't own McDonalds, or Cheezits.

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Kimiko's POV

I crawled into the closet, bumping into a few of my stuffed animals.

"Excuse me, pardon me." I said, squeezing comfortably into the closet. I don't hate storms, it's just that I don't like being ALONE when they happen. The flashes of light freak me out and the thunder feels like an earthquake if you concentrate hard enough.

I grabbed a hand full of cheezits and stuffed them in my mouth. I love cheezits. Cheezits are good. I would've chosen the box of graham crackers, but then I'd need something to drink with them.

When the lightning and thunder got farther apart, I crawled out of the closet with an avalanche of stuffed animals, as they most likely wanted to escape the claustrophobic closet space. I crawled to my bed and put the cheezits back in their hiding place.

"I hope Ghost and Shadow are okay…" I mumbled, peering out of the nearest window. They don't like rain that much. Sunny would be fine. She knows all the best places to hide during storms like this one, and Rainy would be having the time of his life.

Pein's POV

She slowly opened the closet door and she crawled out, covered in stuffed animals, still hanging on to that precious box of cheezits.

"Who got her all those stuffed animals, anyway?" I asked, turning my head towards the crowd of idiots behind me, yet not breaking my eyes away from the screen.

Konan turned away from me with a look of ever so slight guilt painted onto her pale features.

"Konan?" I asked with my tone laced with suspicion.

"What? I never get to spoil people…" She said, crossing her arms across her chest.

New Kid peered out a nearby window, mumbling something about her cats.

"Why in hell did she go into the freakin' closet?" Hidan asked, more to himself than to anyone else in the car.

"She's probably scared of lightning or something, un." Deidara deadpanned, mindlessly playing with a wad of clay in his hand.

"No, we would've seen her freak out. Like when Tobi sees a spider." Itachi pointed out. He'd been so quiet I forgot he was there.

And, as if on cue,

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled, again appearing out of no where, causing everyone to jump in surprise.

"TOBI! DON'T DO THAT, UN!" Deidara yelled angrily at the crazed Tobi.

"Tobi is sorry, Deidara-Senpai." Tobi said apologetically.

"Shut up you two!" Konan said, smacking both of them upside the head.

"Thank you Konan." I said, turning my attention back to the computer screen.

New Girl was now lying on her bed, fast asleep. She was on her back with her right leg hanging off the side and her right arm lying up next to her face, with her head turned to the right. I had no idea she could go to sleep that fast.

"Is she ASLEEP?" Hidan whispered to himself.

"I guess she is." I answered absentmindedly.

"Should we go back now? It's almost 9:00." Konan said in her Konan way.

"Can we at least go order at McDonalds?" Kisame asked.

"Fine…" I muttered.

We came back at 11:30 that night. We ate at McDonalds until 10:00, and then we drove around for another hour and a half trying to hit animals crossing the roads. We hit 3 deer, 6 rabbits, and I'm pretty sure we hit a pedestrian…

Kimiko's POV

I learned about the surveillance cameras while I was looking out of the window in my room. I turned and saw it, which was hard considering it was the size of my fist.

"Figures…" I muttered to myself. I decided to lie down and pretend that I was asleep, just fro the heck of it. That way they would stop watching me on a computer and just come home. The bad thing was I fell asleep for real. Whoops…

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Okay, PLZ REVIEW!


	13. Chapter 13:Pretzels and Ghost Adventures

Hi! I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter, becuase I enjoyed writing it! THANK YOU for all the reviews! Hey Habu, your idea found its way into this chapter! And I also wrote this because I was nearly sacraficed to Jashin-Sama with a spork!

I don't own Naruto. Nor do I own Ghost Adventures. See, I used 'nor'. That's how serious I am.

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Deidara's POV

When we finally got home, I went straight to bed. Tobi was extremely hyper because he ate too much of those cookies that McDonalds decided to start making. I knew those things were a bad idea…

I fell asleep with the feeling that Tobi would probably appear out of no where once again and scream his catch phrase.

Surprisingly, he didn't.

But, I did hear him bugging Sasori next door.

Poor Sasori.

And it went on for an hour straight. Imagine that, a whole hour of nothing but Tobi.

Yes, Poor Sasori…

Kimiko's POV

The chicken returned, and this time he was right out side the hideout. Great… He's getting closer.

Suddenly…

I bolted upright with the scariest smile of inspiration glued to my face.

I had an idea. An evil idea.

I crawled out of bed and snuck to the door. It creaked open slowly and I poked my head out of my room, carefully scanning the dark corridor.

Nothing.

I glanced back at the digital clock sitting beside my bed.

4:30am.

Perfect.

I ran to the kitchen, not making a single noise. I thought I was doing quite well, until I ran into a granite counter… At full speed.

"Ow. Where'd that come from?" I whispered harshly, just before the pain hit me.

I fell over and rolled around the cold floor, trying to keep the whimpers of pain in. It was then that I realized how degrading it must have been for Hidan. I'll have to do that more often.

After a little while, I stood and went to the cupboards, where they kept the junk food.

I found the bag of pretzel sticks. I took 2 out and promptly put them back in the cupboard. Now, it was off to DeiDei's room! I was careful to avoid that granite counter this time. Stupid counter…

When I arrived at my destination, I checked to make sure no one was around. There wasn't.

I pushed on Deidara's bedroom door, and to my surprise, it opened without a sound. He must be the kind of person who leaves their door open slightly. I am too.

I got down on all fours and crawled to his bed. His hand-mouths were sleeping with their tongues sticking out a little. I made sure he was asleep. Luckily, he was in the deepest sleep you'll ever be at night. He was probably right in the middle of his dream. I pulled out the pretzel sticks and smiled evilly. I gently opened one hand-mouth and put a pretzel stick in so it was horizontal in its mouth. Then, I did the same to the other side. I watched them both as the pretzel sticks disappeared into Deidara's hand-mouths. It was quite disturbing, yet mesmerizing. After they were done, I slipped away into my room and got into bed, even though I knew I wouldn't go back to sleep.

"That was SO cool." I whispered to myself subtly. They say curiosity killed the cat, but I'm not dead yet.

When I finally got up, it was still quite early, but that didn't seem to matter. I noticed that I wasn't wearing what I thought I was. I was wearing a baggy gray t-shirt and a pair of black pajama pants that are still a bit big on me. I shrugged and thought that I was probably losing too much sleep.

"Good morning Kid." Konan said warmly.

"Good morning." I said before yawning sleepily.

I sat down at breakfast and had a few bites of everything. Deidara came in 5 minutes after I did and he looked fine to me. But, he had a look of slight confusion on his face.

"Hi, Deidei. How'd you sleep?" Sasori asked our beloved terrorist. He himself didn't look that rested. It most likely had something to do with Tobi.

"Fine, hm. But, I woke up with the taste of pretzels in my mouth, un." He said, sitting down and leaning back.

I giggled.

"What?" Hidan asked from next to me.

"N-nothing." I said, trying to hold in the laughter that was trying to escape.

He shrugged it off and went back to eating.

I barely kept a straight face for the next 7 minutes.

As soon as I left the dining room, I burst out with laughter. I was petty sure everyone heard me, but I ran to my room before anyone could come and question me.

After 20 minutes of laughter, I walked to the lounge room, and I have no idea why I did.

"Hey kid. Where'd you go?" Kisame asked.

"I… had some business to take care of…" I said, trying to hold In yet another on-slot of laughter.

"What kind?"

"… May we please change the subject?" I asked, getting a little nervous.

"Fine… How did you sleep?"

"Okay…" I said, sitting down in my favorite love seat.

"Oh yeah? Then what's that?" He said, pointing to a very big lesion forming on my left leg.

"That? That's… a… lesion." I said rather slowly.

"Yeah, but where'd it come from?"

"It… happened… when a blood vessel broke open… and filled the surrounding the area… with blood." I said, trying to avoid what was coming.

"Yeah but how'd it get there?"

"I… ran into a granite counter." I said calmly.

"Why?"

"I don't know why. I just did. It came outta no where."

"Like Tobi?"

And guess what?

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled, once again appearing out of no where.

I jumped in surprise, as did the others.

"No Tobi. No. You are not a good boy." I said, trying to regain my composure.

"Tobi is not a good boy?" Tobi asked.

"No (un)." We all said at the same time.

"Okay…" He said, walking away with a little chibi rain cloud over his head.

I grabbed the remote and changed it to the travel channel, where a Ghost Adventures marathon was occurring.

Every time they played an EVP they captured, at lwast one of us would say,

"did you hear that?"

And if they showed something they caught on camera, someone would say,

"Did you see that?"

Eventually, they showed one we had all seen, so we went to the dining room to have lunch. We were all jumpy because of what we were just watching.

And guess what happened?

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed, appearing next to me.

"Holy crap!" I squeaked in surprise as I tipped over In my chair.

I quickly stood up and giggled for some odd reason.

"I cannot get used to that…" I said through a giggling fit.

Everyone couldn't help but laugh.

After finishing our lunch, we went back to watching Ghost Adventures. Luckily, Tobi didn't disturb us until AFTER we went to the bathroom. I noticed that we were drifting closer and closer. Not emotionally, but physically. I was sitting in the love seat when all of this started, and now I was sitting on the couch, between Deidara and Hidan. It still didn't take the edge off, but that's the fun part, right?

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Did you like it? PLEASE REVIEW. PLEASE! OR I'LL SEND TOBI TO SCREAM "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" AT YOU.


	14. Chapter 14: A new name and a new romance

Hello my lovelys! I got another chappie for you! Sorry, I would've put this one up sooner, but I went to a Buckcherry concert yesterday. It was SO cool! I saw some of my friends there. Anyway, I'd like to thank Jashinist girl for the bag of cyber cookies, THANK YOU! And Lady Antebellum, for playing songs while I wrote this chappie! Okay, on with the chappie!

I don't own Naruto. I also don't own McDonalds or whatever company that makes SKITTLES.

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Pein's POV

I called everyone over intercom, thinking it would be faster than going to everyone's rooms, but it took the same amount of time.

Why in hell, are we having a freakin' meeting at 7:00 in the freakin' morning?" Hidan asked in his Hidan ways.

"Well, we're all usually up at 6:00 anyway." Konan countered, rolling her eyes at our idiotic Jashinist.

Because… We need to come up with a name for her." I said, pointing at New Girl.

Everyone perked up slightly. New Girl sat up a little straighter and I thought I saw a tiny smile on her face.

"That's reminds me… What WAS your real name?" Konan asked curiously.

"Do you really wanna know?" New Girl asked in a mutual tone.

Konan nodded.

New Girl sighed and looked down.

"It was Ryoko." She said in a distant tone.

"That's a nice name. Why don't you like it?"

"I like it. It just reminds me of… everything that happened before I met you guys."

"So… Do you want a new name?"

"Of coarse I do."

"Alright, what did you have in mind?"

"I don't really care, as long as it's a new name."

I looked at everyone else. They seemed to be deep in thought, except for Hidan. He had his head down on the table, where he was most likely dozing off.

"I have an idea." Hidan said suddenly, his head popping up with some new-found energy.

"Really? What is it?" Konan asked, open for suggestions.

"Well, she's really a child without equal, so… Why don't we call her Kimiko?" He said without cussing, which is a rarity for him.

"I like it." New Kid replied instantly.

"It fits her perfectly. Alright, I guess you have a new name!" I said happily, looking at Kimiko.

"I didn't think it was going to be that easy." Konan said with a tone of relief in her voice.

I thought about that surprisingly perfect name.

Hmm… 'Kimiko'. It fits perfectly.

We got used to her new name very quickly. Of course, we still used the nickname, 'Kid'. Konan enjoyed calling her 'Sweetie' and she didn't seem to have a problem with that. Tobi liked to call her 'Kimi-hime', because she's so pretty. The 2 most common names we use for her are Konan and Tobi's nicknames, as she deserves it.

Konan came into my office and shut the door. She sighed in relief and sat down on my desk.

"I have no idea how I make it through the day anymore. It's like we have another little boy." Konan said, an exhausted smile on her face.

"Just be thankful she's NOT a little boy." I said, organizing the papers on my desk.

"How long has it been since we had some quality alone time together?" Konan asked with an exasperated sigh.

"Awhile…" I said, not looking up at her.

I leaned back in my swivel chair and sighed, closing my eyes for a moment or two. I don't know how it happened, but we were suddenly about to make-out. Just as we were about to make physical contact…

"Leader-Sama! Where's the cash we stole from McDonalds?" Kakuzu yelled, sounding a little panicky.

"Hey, I can't find the steak! It was right there in the freezer! Leader-Sama!" Zetsu(s?) yelled from the kitchen.

"Leader-Sama! Itachi won't share the TV!" Kisame yelled.

"Konan! Tobi won't leave us alone!" Sasori yelled. I could hear Deidara yelling at Tobi in the background.

"Give 'em back! Ow, Hey!... Konan! Hidan stole my skittles and he pushed me into a wall!" Kimiko yelled.

"No I didn't! Ow! Konan, Kimiko won't get off me!" Hidan yelled from the same direction as Kimiko.

Konan and I sighed.

"We should've stopped after one…" Konan said, exhaustion peeking in her voice.

I smiled to myself as Konan and I parted down separate corridors to aid our idiotic Akatsuki members. It was funny in a cruel way. I didn't think it would be so hard to own a criminal organization! It's like taking care of 9 mentally disturbed teenagers. Is it worth it?

Half the time, it's not.

But the other half…

You bet.

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Was it awesome? I hope it was. PLZ review! Or Hidan will come to steal your SKITTLES. PLZ! DO IT FOR THE SKITTLES!


	15. Chapter 15: Boredness and UNO

Hello! I'm sorry about the delay. I super-typed this, 'cause I love you guys so much! Thank you to all my reviewers. And all the cyber-cookies I'm getting are a sign that you guys like my story. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!

I don't own Naruto. Or UNO. Or Family Guy. Or Life Lock.

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Kimiko's POV

I found myself lying in the middle of some random room, bored out of my mind. I thought about bugging somebody, but they were all busy. And it was just my luck that the one person who wasn't busy should show up and do what he does best. Scare me.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi said, suddenly standing above me, looking down at my bored form on the floor.

"Hello Tobi…" I said, trying to hide the twitch of surprise.

"What is Kimi-hime doing on the floor?" Tobi asked curiously.

"Because, my dear Tobi, I am bored. And bored people sometimes like lying on floors." I said staring up at him with a bored expression on my face.

"Why is Kimi-hime bored?"

"I don't know." I replied sadly.

"Does Kimi-hime wanna play a game?" Tobi asked, leaning closer to my face.

"No I don't. Go away now." I said, rolling onto my left side, trying to cut him off.

"Okay, Kiki-Chan!" He said excitedly. He made up another nickname for me. Wow…

I decided to get up and walk around, as it wouldn't do me any good to sit around in someone else's room for the rest of the day. My MP3 player was resting comfortably in my pocket, so I listened to a few songs. I sang along quietly the entire time, not even caring to notice where I was.

THUMP

I found myself on the floor… lying in front of a wall.

"Who put that that there?" I said, standing up and rubbing my sore head. I spent the next 15 minutes staring at the wall, trying to figure out how it got there. After the 16th minute, I decided to let the wall do what ever walls usually do. I wandered off into the lounge room to watch TV, where I found Hidan, watching MTV.

"Hey, I thought you were doing a ritual." I said, plopping down next to him.

"I finished it." He said with a smug look on his face.

"That was fast…" I muttered. I looked down and checked the time on my MP3 player. 12:36 pm. Wow…

"The chicken came back. He was at the front door this time." I said randomly, as the silence had gotten quite awkward.

"That's random." He said, looking at me with a humored smile on his face.

"So? I'm a random person." I said, grabbing the remote and changing the channel. We spent the next half hour watching Family Guy.

Pein's POV

Everyone had something to do except Tobi and Kimiko.

Kakuzu had to run to the bank because we had a money emergency.

Kisame had to take his girlfriend, Wakumi, to the vet.

Konan went to the spa.

Itachi had a therapy session.

Hidan had to do a ritual.

Zetsu had to go dispose of a few bodies.

Sasori and Deidara had an art expo to crash.

I had to do some paperwork I'd been putting off for the passed few weeks.

That left Tobi and Kimiko. Kimiko didn't seem to like Tobi that well, seeing as the only thing he ever does is scare her. But Tobi seems to think of her as a friend, and she doesn't seem to have any problems with that in the least bit.

I then realized that I was finished with the papers. I was a little creeped out, considering I didn't remember much of doing them at all, but they were finished, so I decided to go watch TV, like any normal person would. I found Kimiko and Hidan watching Family Guy.

"Hidan, I thought you had to do a ritual." I said, starring at Hidan suspiciously.

"I finished early." He countered, turning back towards the TV.

"Where were you? I didn't see you this morning." I said to Kimiko.

"I was sitting in some random room, being bored." She replied, an anime sweat drop appearing on the back of her head.

I shrugged both the excuses off and watched TV with them. Of coarse we were all fighting over what to watch afterwards. I won easily.

Later, at about 7:30pm (no we did not watch TV the entire time); everyone was done with their tasks, so we had dinner.

"I got in for free at the spa because I threatened the owner. I don't think she knows that I took all the money from the cash register yet, either." Konan said, beaming smugly.

"Good girl." Kakuzu said from his seat.

"Shut up." Konan said with a humored smile on her face, throwing a chunk of mashed potatoes at him.

"Wakumi has a fish cold. I didn't even think fish could get colds…" Kisame said with slight depression lacing his tone.

"That's tragic. Well, they gave you something to help her, didn't you?" Konan asked, picking out some rice out of her hair, as Kakuzu had fired back.

"Yeah… But it's not supposed to take affect until later." He said, with a smidge more depression lacing his voice.

"Well, our bank account is fine. But someone almost stole our identity. Good thing we got Life Lock last week…" Kakuzu said with relief in his voice.

"My ritual went fine. I haven't done one in a while, so I had to make it extra sacred." Hidan said, hiding his carrots behind his mashed potatoes.

"Then why was it so short?" Kimiko asked, doing the same with her carrots.

"It was VERY sacred. I drove the spike through my chest at just the right angle." He replied, shooting a look at her.

"I finished my paperwork. I don't know how. I just did. Is that weird?" I said, leaning back so I could see everyone a little better.

"That doesn't seem weird. A LOT of weird things happen around here, so it depends on what kind weird you're talking about." Konan said, taking a bite of meat.

"We succeeded in crashing the art expo. We even stole a lot of art supplies." Sasori said, looking at Deidara with a look of accomplishment on both their faces.

"Oh, can I have some?" Kimiko asked, using her kitten eyes to beg.

"Sure." Sasori said instantly. No one can resist her kitten eyes.

"The bodies were hard to dispose of. I think they were diseased with salmonella or something." Zetsu said, rubbing his stomach, looking queasy.

"How could you just notice that? You've eaten worse things, like that dead cow last week. What about that? It must have been infected with all kinds of disgusting diseased parasites." Kimiko stated, tilting her head slightly. Zetsu shot a look, but she ignored it and went right back to eating. Even after talking about all that, she was still able to eat. There's yet another trait, a strong stomach.

"Tobi watched played with his blocks for the WHOLE day because Kiki-Chan told Tobi to." Tobi said, appearing out of no where. At least he didn't yell his catch phrase… And there's another nickname.

"I told you to go away, Tobi. I didn't tell you to play with your blocks." Kimiko said, tipping back in her chair a little.

"Hey, where'd he go, un?" Deidara asked. Tobi disappeared. Then he reappeared…

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" came from Kimiko's direction. Kimiko screamed and once again tipped back in her chair.

"WHY?" She yelled sadly from the floor. Tobi disappeared under the table.

"I'm sad… I guess I'll just talk from down here. I had a strange day. I found myself in a random room, where I was bored. Then, I ran into a wall. That's basically my day." Kimiko said from the floor, where she didn't feel like getting up.

"Why did you run into a wall?" Konan asked, standing up to get a better look at Kimiko, who was currently still on the floor.

"Skip it. I'd rather not talk about that. I'm still sad…" She said, still on the floor.

"My therapy session went great. I completed my goal by putting the therapist in a mental hospital." Itachi said with a smile of pride on his face. That's the whole reason he went to therapy. He wanted to put the therapist in a mental hospital. I don't know why.

"We LIVE in a mental hospital…" Kimiko muttered to herself, still on the floor. Everyone still heard her and we all laughed for a while.

After 17 minutes, we finished dinner and I walked over to Kimiko's spot, where she was still on the floor.

"Why are you still on the floor?" I asked, staring down at her.

"I don't know. I'm dizzy. Did you here the thump when I hit the floor?"

"Yeah, come to think of it… I did."

"That was my head."

"Well, why didn't you say anything?"

"It just hit me."

"Come on." I said, smiling.

"Carry me." She said, still on the floor.

"No."

"Please?"

"Fine..."

I picked her up and she crawled on my back, where apparently, she liked to be. We went to the lounge room to watch TV with everyone else. We ended up playing UNO for 3 hours. At the championship, it was Kimiko vs. Deidara. Kimiko won. It doesn't seem that degrading, considering how smart she is, but what made it disgraceful for Deidara was the fact that she was still dizzy and she was drowsy. And he wasn't letting her win, either. He ended up carrying her to bed, which takes little to no effort, considering her weight. Of all the people he could've lost to, he lost to an 11 year old girl. I found that sadly hilarious.

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Yes, it was very long, and I hope yo guys liked it. PLZ REVIEW. Or KiKi-chan will come and beat you at UNO.


	16. Chapter 16:The mutated demonic thingy

Hello my lovlies! I made this chapter really long for you. Hold your applause... This one will keep you on the edge of whatever you may be sitting on at the moment. Lots and lots of action and a little blood and violence. And thanks for the reviews. You guys are great.

I don't own Naruto, sadly... Nor do I own SOUR SKITTLES.

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Kimiko's POV

In my nightmare, the chicken was now in the hideout, but just barely.

The dizziness went away during the night, but it was replaced with an enormous headache, which was worse than the dizziness. I'd much rather prefer the dizziness, actually. At least then, I could pretend I'm on a roller coaster or something.

I thought about going back to sleep, but it was hard, considering the fact that it felt like something was eating my brain. It was 5:50am, but somehow made it to the dining room, where everyone was eating.

"Good morning, Kimiko." Konan said gingerly.

I winced in pain at the sound.

"Good morning…" I said, trying to keep the sense of normalcy. The last thing I needed was someone noticing my misery.

"You don't look so good." Konan said, concern lining her tone.

"I have a headache…" I caught myself saying.

"It's probably because you went to bed so late…" Leader-Sama suggested.

"No, that's not it. I've gone to bed WAY later than-"I stopped myself, noticing Konan's death stare, which was directed at me.

"Maybe it's because I received severe head trauma when Tobi scared the crap out of me yesterday, because, as you all know, I flipped backwards in this very chair." I said while rubbing my temples, trying to control the pain.

I gasped suddenly as I came to a realization.

Everyone else made this same realization, but it was too late.

"Why'd I say that?" I whispered harshly to myself, just before the inevitable happened.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

Thump

I was on the floor.

"WHY ME?" I yelled sadly from an oddly familiar position on the floor.

Tobi leaned over me, his orange mask starring down at my pained figure.

"I'm sad once again…" I said from my uncomfortable spot on the cold, hard floor.

"Hey, Kiki-chan! Tobi has a question for you." Tobi said, getting a bit closer to me.

"Yes, what is it Tobi?" I asked, still on the floor.

"Is Kimi-hime bored?" He asked, still looming over me.

"No. I'm sad. And sometimes sad people like lay on floors too."

"Okay Kimi-chan!" Tobi said before disappearing from the room.

"My headache's gone. But I'm still sad…" I said from the floor, where I still was.

"Why are you sad, un?" Deidara asked, leaning over from in his seat to get a better look at me.

"I don't know. I'm just sad. "

"Why do you always tip backwards in your chair when Tobi scares you, un?"

"I don't know. Reflexes, I guess." I said in a sad tone.

"Are you going to get up, hm?" Deidara asked, still leaning down to get a better look at me.

"Maybe later… Sigh…" I verbally sighed, as it seemed easier.

After breakfast, I was still on the floor.

"Get up, un." Deidara said, standing over me.

"No." I replied.

"I'll give you candy if you get up, hm." He said, pulling a bag of sour skittles out of cloak pocket.

My eyes lit up.

"Can I climb on your back? That technically counts as 'up', right?"

"Tch, fine…" He said, smiling to himself. He picked me up and I climbed on his back, where I had such a flashback to last night.

We went to the lounge room where everyone else was.

"I see you've been hitchhiking again…" Pein said, a smile plastered to his expression.

"Yeah, but this time I got candy!" I said, flashing the bag of skittles.

Deidara put me down on a couch, and then sat next to me. Hidan was eyeing my skittles.

'Don't even think about it.' I mouthed to him.

He stuck his tongue out at me.

'I kicked your manhood once, I can do it again.' I mouthed.

He took this as a threat and backed off.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"So bored… Must… Not… give in… gravity… sucking… me… down… can't stay… up… much… longer…" I said, slipping off the couch head first.

THUMP

I hit the floor, yet I was not affected. I laid there on the carpeted ground, where it was less boring. I crawled under the couch to curl up and die, like a bug. It was cold and dark down there, like my childhood.

"What are you doing down there, un?" Deidara asked, peering under the couch. He was upside down. Either that or I was.

"I'm dying slowly. What does it look like?"

"Why, hm?"

"The boredom has taken control. Now go away. I wanna die in peace." I said with a sigh.

"Okay, un." He said, disappearing above me.

"Do you guys wanna go kill things?" Itachi asked.

"Hell yeah. It's better than sitting around here." Hidan said.

Pein's POV

I personally liked the idea.

"Yay! We're gonna go kill things! Oh, oh! Something's crawling on me. OMJ what is this thing? OMIGOSH IT'S BIG. Ow! Get off me you thing! Ow! AHHH! THAT'S THE BIGGEST BUG I'VE EVER SEEN. How about we start with this thing?" Kimiko said from under the couch.

Then we heard a bumping noise.

"Ow. Never mind. I think I killed it. No, no wait… EW! THAT IS NOT A SPIDER! AHHHHHH!" She crawled out half way.

"OH MY JASHIN-SAMA IT'S BIG! AH! NO! NOOOUUUUUUUUUU! SOMETHING'S GOT MY FOOT! IT'S GOT ME! AHHHH! LET ME GO! GAH!" She screamed, getting dragged back under the couch. She tried to grab onto something, but she was pulled under.

We heard squeaking and a few whimpers, followed by a few thumps. She dragged her upper body out from under the couch and looked down under it

"DIE YOU BEAST FROM HELL! DIE!" She said, kicking something, her legs still under the couch.

Something squealed. Her expression changed from triumph to fear as she was dragged back under once again.

"NOOO! LET GO! OW! HOLY CRAP! THIS IS NOT A SPIDER. WHERE'S MY BAT? OWIES! OH MY JASHIN! IT'S A REVOLUTION OF MUTATED DEMONIC CREATURES FROM HELL! AHHHHHHH!" Kimiko screeched from under the couch. More squeals were heard. Then, everything fell silent. Suddenly, her small hand slowly reached from under the couch, looking for something. She got a good grip on a bat that was lying next to her side of the couch. She slowly pulled it under, and we heard a series of screeching sounds, followed by thumps made by the bat.

"DIE I SAY! DIEEEE! OWIES! HELP ME!"

Then, the final thump, a sickening, flesh crawling, blood curdling, thump.

She slowly crawled from under the couch, and onto the carpeted floor. She was splattered with blood and she looked all disheveled and exhausted.

"Thanks for the help." She said sarcastically, raising her head to look at our stunned forms before it dropped back to the ground. That whole time, we only stared at the couch and listened to the terrible sounds. Deidara and Hidan, who were sitting on the couch, were quite stunned and the two were practically clutching each other in fear.

"WHAT… THE… FREAKING… HELL… WAS… THAT?" Hidan asked slowly.

Kimiko's breathing was heavy, but she slowly looked up at him.

"A demonic, mutant mouspider." She said as though to say, 'run for it now'.

"Say what now?" Itachi asked.

"I'd show you but… You girls would probably faint." She said with an exhausted yet humorous smile on her face.

We all gave her looks of utter incomprehension.

She processed the looks we gave her and gave in. She got on her hands and knees. She crawled up to the couch and reached under it. She winced, signaling that she had something. She pulled and tugged until a carcass roughly half her size was laying in front of her.

It was like a cross between a mouse and a spider. The size was astonishing. It was fuzzy and cuddly like a mouse, but it had numerous eyes and 8 spider legs. It had patches of fur missing and it had a nasty blow to the head.

"I did that, and that, and that. I couldn't give him any lacerations, considering the fact that Konan cut my nails. But I gave him some skin lesions, a few bad contusions, and that nasty blow to the head with the bat. He was healthy, so that means there has to be more of them. But this one was so fun to kill…" She said with a smug little smile on her face.

"That's my crazy little b****." Hidan said, ruffling her short black hair.

"Hey, un, what's that?" Deidara asked, pointing at something sticking to Kimiko's clothes.

She looked at it and pulled it off. It was fur.

"This? It's fur. I would've pulled off its manhood, but I could only get down so far before it starts biting back."

"Oh man, I'm so f****** proud of you." Hidan said, giving her a hug.

"Wait… Did you say that there's MORE?" Kisame asked.

"It's quite possible. Considering how healthy it was. Aw man, I shouldn't have killed it… We could've set it loose, and then followed it to its colony…" She said, kicking it gently with her good foot. Her left foot had a pretty ugly bite on it.

"Wow… It's still bleeding. I don't think its dead yet. But it's pretty banged up, I can tell you that…" Zetsu said, poking it. He should've been an expert too, seeing as he's always eating dead things.

"And she did all that by herself… I'm getting all choked up just thinking about it…" Hidan said, pride lining his tone. Kimiko sweat dropped, but she still had that malicious smile on.

"Oh what a-hunting we will go…" Kimiko said, grabbing her baseball bat.

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HOW AWESOME WAS THAT? I'm sorry for the cliffhanger, but I will update quickly, so you won't be hanging for long. REVIEW or the mutant demonic creatures from hell will come to take away your sour skittles! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!


	17. Chapter 17: The battlefield

Konichwa my beloved readers! This chappie is full of violence and blood, so spread the freakin' word! (*_*) Thank you for the reviews! You guys are so awesome! I will update very soon, so just keep on reading!

I do not own Naruto, or the Orkin man.

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Kimiko's POV

I, like any other normal person, was scared as hell, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Besides, even though they are the scariest things I've ever seen, they were so fun to kill… Now I know why Hidan can get carried away…

The fact that no one helped me is one thing, but to be in the same room the entire time is just plain insulting. I was screaming and on the border line of crying. I SAID 'HELP ME' AND I GOT NOTHING. How sad…

Anyway, Zetsu wouldn't stop drooling and poking the Mouspider, which he says isn't dead yet. Its leg weren't curled up like spiders do when you kill them, so he was most likely right.

We all went to our rooms to find a weapon of some sort. I still had the bat, but I needed a few other things if the next battle was going to be anything like the last one. I quickly wrapped up my bites, just so I could start fresh. Then, I put on some battle gloves, in the highly unlikely event that I got into a fist fight with one of those demonic things. Then, I wiped the blood off my face. It was starting to dry.

I went back to the lounge room to wait for everyone else. I found Zetsu there, consuming the carcass.

"Oh Zetsu, not on the carpet! Konan's gonna be mad at you…" I said, watching as the still living carcass disappeared into Zetsu's flytrap.

"Why don't you have a weapon?" I asked, setting down my bat.

"Have you learned nothing from me?" He asked in an offended tone.

"Are you gonna eat them alive?" I asked, leaning forward, my eyes growing wide.

He nodded with a smile on both sides of him.

"That's so cool…" I said, leaning back.

Eventually, we all had weapons.

Kakuzu had a club.

Kisame had his sword, need I say more.

Konan had a baseball bat also.

Leader-Sama had a big knife.

Sasori had a whole lot of poison.

Deidara had a water gun, but it shot poison instead of water.

Hidan had his scythe.

Itachi had some huge kunai.

Tobi was staying behind to get eaten…

"When I said we should go kill things, I meant something a little smaller…" Itachi muttered to himself.

"Where are we gonna look first?" Kisame asked, his enormous sword resting on his shoulder.

"I have no idea… Why don't we just split up and look for them by ourselves?" Leader-Sama devised slowly.

"How about we start with that?" I asked, pointing at a trail of strangely shaped animal tracks leading away from our current location in the lounge room.

Everyone sweatdropped, embarrassed.

"Didn't see that…" Pein said while a big sweatdrop formed on the back of his head.

"Come on, you sissies!" I yelled, already out of the room, following the trail.

"Honestly, am I the only one with some nerve around here?" I said as they nervously followed behind me.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed, popping out of the shadows.

I screamed and fell over backwards.

"Ow…" I said, trying to figure out what just happened.

"Tobi! I thought I told you to go back to your room!" Leader-Sama yelled.

Tobi ignored Leader-Sama and looked down at me.

"Is Kiki-Chan bored or sad?" He asked, and if that mask weren't on his face, I'd swear he had a grin on.

"I'm sad, Tobi. I'm very sad…" I said, looking up at him with my sad little eyes.

"Okay. Tobi's leaving now." Tobi said, suddenly disappearing.

"Are you gonna hitchhike again?" Itachi said, leaning down and trying to make eye-contact with me.

"Okay…" I said, holding out my arms to be lifted up. He picked me up and I climbed on his back. We followed the trail for another half hour or so. We then found ourselves inside the basement, where the entire population was living. I tightened up and gripped my bat a little tighter.

"Holy Crap." I said, barely above a whisper.

"Ready?" Leader-Sama asked, angling his knife in his hand.

"As long as I don't get dragged under another couch…" I muttered, climbing off Itachi.

"Let's do it." Hidan said, a big malicious smile forming on his expression.

Of course, everyone was too scared to move. I did.

"Can I stay here?" Hidan asked, putting down his scythe, losing his nerve. I switched Itachi's giant kunai with my bat while he wasn't looking.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" I yelled before jumping off the stairs and stabbing a random creature.

I discovered a race of chickesnakespider, a cross between a chicken, a snake, and a spider. It was the scariest thing you could ever see. It had the body of a chicken, the legs of a spider, the head of a snake, and it had SO MANY EYES… I screamed as one charged at me. I took a wild stab in the dark.

I heard squealing. I kept on stabbing through the darkness, feeling the kunais hitting something every time. I felt the warm splash of blood on my skin, and the wild squeals and screeches of the inhuman creatures that I was massacring. I was bitten, scratched, thrown, and all that, but it was so cool.

Pein's POV

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Kimiko yelled before jumping off the stairs we were on and taking a wild stab at a random creature.

"Holy crap" We all said at once.

We watched as she stabbed and kicked and punched and killed with every ounce of her being.

"I freakin' love that kid…" Hidan muttered, a smile of pride on his face.

Suddenly, a couch appeared out of no where. Kimiko wasn't aware, and was dragged under.

"AHHHH! HELP MEEE! SOMETHING'S GOT MY FOOT! NOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU! THERE GOES MY MOMENT… GAAHHHHHH! CRAAAAAAAAAAAP! OW!" She screamed from under the strange couch. She pulled herself out, only to get dragged back under. The knives were left behind in front of the couch, where they were suddenly gulped down by a creature. Uh-Oh…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! OW! HEY DON'T YOU DARE! DON'T YOU DARE! OWIES! WHERE'S MY KNIVES? OWIES! OW! GAH! CRAPPITY CRAP CRAP CRAP! NOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!" She screamed. Then, we heard thumping.

"! DIEEEEEEEEEEE! I COMMAND YOU TO DIEEEE! I SAID DIE, DAMNIT! WHY WON'T YOU DIE? I TOLD YOU TO DIEEEEEEEEEEE! DEIDARA! THROW ME THE GUN!" She screamed. Deidara threw the gun at the couch. It was silent. Kimiko's hand slowly slid out of the couch and she grabbed it. We then heard more thumping. She slowly crawled out from under the couch. She looked down and kicked whatever was under there, then, she aimed the gun.

"Go to hell" She said before pulling the trigger. A stream of poison shot out of the nozzle and we heard deep, bellowing screeches. She smiled and shot out completely from under the couch. She then found the monster that ate the knives.

"You too."

She shot it with poison right into its open mouth. It fell over, dead. But first, it gagged up the knives. She threw the gun at Deidara and gave him a winning smile. Then, she dove into a cluster of creatures.

"DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She yelled, just before all of the creatures in her area fell over, either dead or dying.

Hidan got all fired up and he jumped in, slicing a creature in half. He laughed maniacally before joining Kimiko in the killing spree. We all jumped in, our weapons ready.

Half an hour later, every single one of the monsters was lying on the floor, dead or dying. Everyone was either about to collapse or was leaning against something. Kimiko was splattered with blood, but her angelic face still shone brightly. She was leaning against a wall, her eyes closed, but she had a smile on her face.

"Not even the Orkin man could've taken care of that…" She said, sliding down the wall to sit. We all laughed, even though we could barely breathe.

We all finally made it to our bathrooms, where we cleaned up. We all sat down in the lounge room, just because there was no where else to go.

"That was freakin' awesome." Kimiko said, leaning against Hidan for support, as she looked quite tired.

"Yes it freakin' was." Hidan replied, resting his head on top of hers.

"Where's Zetsu?" I asked, noticing that he wasn't in the room.

"I told him to dispose of the evidence. He was drooling everywhere." Kimiko said, a sleepy little smile on her face.

Within 15 minutes, we all passed out, sleepy yet malicious grins on our faces.

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Aww... Touching... wasn't it? Go ahead. Review. REVIEW! OR THE CREATURES SHALL RETURN AND EAT YOUR SKITTLES! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	18. Chapter 18: The aftermath

2 in one day! YAYZ! I tackled a different angle with this one and went with Konan's POV. This is the first time I notcied this. I make them so OOC that it seems like it all fits... Have you realized that?

I don't own NARUTO. OR M&MS.

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Konan's POV

I slowly awoke from a rather comforting sleep. I was warm and comfy, and I soon realized why. I was lying in Pein's lap; his arms wrapped around me and mine around his neck. It was great.

Sasori was laying on a nearby couch, out cold. Kimiko was leaning against Hidan and Deidara's head was in her lap. She must've been listening to music, as she had earphones still in her ears and she was clenching her MP3 player in her right hand. Itachi was lying on the floor, his head resting on a throw pillow. Kisame was lying on a couch, hugging his sword. Don't worry, it was wrapped up. Kakuzu was passed out in a chair. Zetsu wasn't in the room, so he still must've been 'disposing'. I decided to follow the crowd, so I started dosing off again.

Just when I was dozing off, I heard something.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed, causing everyone to snap awake.

The entire couch Kimiko, Hidan, and Deidara were passed out on tipped backwards.

"TOBI!" I yelled.

"Holy crap… I had this weird nightmare where Tobi-… Hey, why am I on the floor?" Kimiko said from behind the tipped-over couch.

"It wasn't a nightmare, Kimiko." I said, still clinging to Pein.

"Oh, then why am I on the-… WAIT, THAT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE!" Kimiko said, realizing the reoccurring events that happen after Tobi appears.

"Tobi? Why are you in here?" I asked, trying to stay calm.

"Tobi got lonely, so he sat on the floor for a while, then he found everyone in here, and he wanted to wake them up, so he woke them up and now he isn't lonely anymore!" He said, constantly changing chibi expressions throughout his explanation.

We all sweatdropped, and I bet if we could see the victims of the couch accident, they'd have sweatdrops too.

"Tobi? Please leave now. I don't wanna have to hurt you. YET. So please go now." Kimiko said, having to yell slightly because her voice was muffled by the couch.

"Yes Kimi-hime!" Tobi said, disappearing in a poof of smoke.

"I'm sad." Kimiko said after Tobi disappeared.

"I see what you mean now, hm." Deidara said, suddenly deciding to join in a conversation.

"Yeah, I do too." Hidan said.

"Hey Konan, why are you hugging Pein?" Kakuzu asked in a child like voice.

"… Because… Tobi frightened me." I said slowly, still clinging to Pein.

"… Okay." Kakuzu said simply, turning away. Pein and quickly pulled apart and I blushed heavily.

"We might as well have lunch… There's nothing else to do…" I suggested, figuring everyone had to be hungry after our epic battle with demonic things.

"Sure." Nearly everyone replied.

Everyone got up and stretched. Except Kimiko, who thought she could hide by staying quiet.

Everyone was nearly out of the room, when we realized we were one criminal short.

Hidan looked down, as he was still near the couch.

"Coming? Or am I gonna have to carry you?" He asked.

"Okay." Kimiko said, holding out her arms. Hidan picked her up and she slowly climbed on his back.

"Are you gonna hitchhike every where now?" Pein asked humouredly.

"I guess we won't know that until you leave me somewhere, now will we?" She said, a smile crossing her expression.

"I guess we won't." He said, giving her the same smile.

We ate lunch and talked mainly about the morning's events.

"You have a double personality, you know that?" Itachi said, directed at Kimiko.

"Yes I do. It doesn't seem to be a problem though. Now, when they begin merge, then we have a problem." She replied, taking a sip of apple juice out of her juice box.

"It is merged…" Sasori mumbled. Everyone giggled a bit.

"Do you think Tobi has that problem?" Kisame asked. We all gasped, waiting for Tobi to appear. We all especially looked at Kimiko.

"I'm fine." She said to herself, trying to stay still.

After 10 seconds, we were sure he wouldn't come.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed into the silence.

Kimiko screamed and tipped backwards in her chair.

"SO CLOSE!" She yelled from the floor.

"Tobi, please leave now, before I have to cuss you out." Kimiko said, her tone slightly sad to some extent.

"But Tobi wants to stay here." Tobi said, hopping on top of the table.

"I got it, hold on." Hidan said, grabbing Tobi by the collar and dragging him out of the room.

CENSORED

Hidan came back into the room, leaving Tobi to ponder the colorful vocabulary words he just heard being yelled at him.

"Hey, Hidan?" Kimiko asked, still lying on the floor.

"Yeah?" Hidan replied, peering down at her.

"What's a-"She started.

"How about we go check on Zetsu?" I interrupted.

"But I wanna know what-"Kimiko started.

I quickly stopped her by pulling a bag of M&M's out of my cloak pocket. For some reason, she goes into a hypnotic like state.

"I'll be quiet now." She said quickly, almost robotically.

"But can I hitchhike? I don't feel like walking." She stated.

"Sure. Sasori! Let her hitchhike. Give her these." I said, throwing the bag of M&M's at Sasori.

He let her climb on his back then he handed her the candy. She was quiet until we got to the basement.

"How you doing Zetsu?" I asked, peering down into our passed battlefield.

"Just fine." He said, almost evilly. About half the bodies were gone, but it was still messy.

"Wow, I feel bad for whoever has to clean up this crap…" Kimiko murmured, the M&Ms nearly gone.

"Why did we all have to come? All we did was look at Zetsu eat things." Sasori said.

"Fine, what to do you wanna do?" I said, crossing my arms.

"I wanna watch TV." He said, amazingly not afraid of me.

"Okay, whatever…" I mumbled as we walked to the lounge room.

Pein's POV

We all sat down in our usual spots, and the couch that was recently tipped over was now mysteriously in place. Deidara, Kimiko, and Hidan all sat on it, not caring to notice.

"Boredom… relapse… didn't… learn… lesson… last time… must… remain… on top… of… couch… must… not… make… same… mistake…" Kimiko said, slipping off the couch. She crawled under, this time careful to watch for creatures from hell.

"Ah, it's comfy down here. Hey, what's this? GAHHHHH! NOT AGAIN! NOOOOOOOOOOO! SOMETHINGS CRAWLING ON ME! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY? CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!" She screamed.

We then heard a thump, then another, and another.

"DIEEEEEEEEEE! HELP M- WAIT, I THINK I KILLED IT. NEVER MIND." She said, pushing a squashed spider out from under the couch.

She quickly crawled out from under the couch.

"HAVE I LEARNED NOTHING?" She yelled at herself, which caused us all to have a mad laughing fit.

"No, apparently you haven't." I said, ruffling her short black hair.


	19. Chapter 19: The mystery caller mishap

Kimiko's POV

The chicken was even CLOSER now. He was in the kitchen. It took 3 whole bags of skittles to get me in the dining room, and by that time, I wasn't hungry. I still got the skittles though.

After breakfast, I went into the lounge room to play wii. Yes, we have a wii. I was playing 'Animal Crossing City Folk' when everybody came in and decided to watch me. I couldn't concentrate with them watching me. But it was sadly hilarious because they didn't exactly KNOW that I knew they were in there.

I changed into an all yellow outfit on the game, and I personally thought it looked cute.

"You know, she doesn't have very good taste in clothing…" Kisame whispered to Itachi.

"I heard that, Captain Planet…" I said, still trying to focus on my game.

Everyone restrained their laughter to avoid angering the only demon shark in the room.

They all stayed quiet for a bit, that is, until I went to Tom Nook's store. And, as all you gamers know, Tom has a speech impediment.

"Hey Deidara, he talks like you!" Hidan said, nudging a sweat dropping Deidara.

"Do you think nicknames could be technically considered a speech impediment? Because EVERY FREAKING ANIMAL has a nickname for me…" I said, starting up a conversation with one of my neighbors to show them what I mean.

"No, it's only a speech impediment if they can't help saying it." Itachi said, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

"They can't… Wow, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE FREAKING ANIMALS HAS A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT…" I said to myself more than anyone else.

"Hey, can I try now?" Sasori asked, his head suddenly resting my left shoulder.

"Fine…" I said, saving my game and quitting.

"Here…" I said, handing him the wii remote I had been using.

I sat down on the floor in front of a nearby couch. After about 10 minutes, we heard the phone ringing.

"I got it." I said, getting up and running for the kitchen, where the nearest phone was. I froze in fear at the entrance to the kitchen. The chicken could've been waiting in there for me to let my guard down. But the sound of a ringing phone irks me to no end. I closed my eyes and took a plunge into the darkness of the kitchen. I grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" I answered quietly.

"Did you check… the children?" Another voice said, barely anything above a whisper.

"Huh? Sorry, we don't have any kids around here. I'm the only one. Although…" I said, questioning the maturity of everyone else.

"Oh, wrong number. Sorry!" The other voice said, still whispering.

"No, no. It's cool." I said sweetly.

"Oh, um… Bye. "The other voice said.

"Bye." I said before hanging up.

'I'm being paranoid… I keep expecting something scary like Tobi to jump out of the shadows and attack me or something…' I thought.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed, jumping out of the shadows.

I screamed and hit the floor with a loud thump. Tobi took this as an opportunity to steal a bag of skittles from my Akatsuki cloak pocket. I caught him stealing them in time after I woke up from the blackout I had. I grabbed his ankle. He yelled and kicked me. I got up and flung myself on his back. He took this as a threat and ran, trying to hold the skittles ahead of him, just out of reach for me. He ran around the hideout, me whacking his head, kicking and screaming fro him to give them back.

Sasori's POV

I was playing Animal Crossing City Folk when we heard the phone ringing.

"I got it." Kimiko said, getting up and running for the kitchen. We heard her pick up the phone.

"Hello?" she asked.

…

"Huh? Sorry, we don't have any kids around here. I'm the only one. Although…" She said, serious question of our authority in her voice.

…

"No, no. It's cool." She said in that perfect, sweet voice of hers.

…

"Bye." She said, hanging up.

There was silence after that. Then…

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled, breaking that perfect silence.

Kimiko screamed especially loud, and then we heard a loud thump.

It was quiet again, and then we heard the sound of a bag filled with skittles, then, the sound of Tobi's footsteps, but only 2. He yelled. We heard the sound of something being kicked. Kimiko must've thrown herself on Tobi, because he started running, the skittles jingling in the bag.

"Give them back, Tobi!" She screamed with the sound of kicking and punching in the background.

Tobi sped into the lounge room, Kimiko on his back, kicking and screaming at him. He flung her off, and threw himself under a couch.

"Tobi!" She screamed, throwing herself under the couch.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed in a tone that said, 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry!' We heard more thumping sounds, followed by silence. Kimiko crawled out from under the couch, only to be dragged back under by Tobi.

"GAH! OWIES! TOBI, LET GO OF MY FOOT! OW! IT'S SORE THERE! LET GO! NO! DON'T LICK THE BAG! CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! NOOO!" Kimiko screamed, kicking and punching noises coming from under the sofa. Then, there was a thump. Tobi screamed the scream that a man hopes he never has to scream.

Kimiko emerged from under the sofa, a smug smile glued to her face.

"You didn't." I said, giving her a deviant little smile.

"I did." She said, returning the smile.

"He has the skittles, but he's in too much pain to eat them." She said, standing and doing a chibi victory pose. Suddenly, Tobi reached out, his hand wrapping around her ankle. She barely had time to scream as she was pulled down. She smacked her head on a nearby coffee table and was dragged down under the couch for round 2.

Suffice to say, Tobi got kicked twice in his manhood. He screamed another scream a man hopes he should never have to scream, but louder. Kimiko reemerged from under the sofa, a bruise on her forehead, yet a look of pure victory on her face.

"Now he doesn't need a vasectomy…" She said, and I swear I saw tobi's angel form fly out from under the couch and float away, leaving a crushed Tobi under the sofa sobbing hysterically.


	20. Chapter 20: Doctors and Dairy Queen

I just realized how many errors there are in this story... Oh well, you guys still love me... I hope...

I don't own Naruto. Or Dairy Queen.

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Kimiko's POV

The chicken was now in the lounge room, and now he had a machete.

Leader-Sama called us into the meeting room, as he had something important to tell us. It must've been something he didn't want to tell us, because he was hiding behind a chakra shield when we came in.

"I know you guys aren't gonna like this… But… Is this shield tight enough?..." Leader-Sama said while making sure the shield was protective enough.

He sighed, almost like it was going to be his last breath.

"WE HAVE DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENTS TOMMARROW!" He said quickly, pushing his chair back a little.

After 5 seconds, it sunk in that he wasn't joking.

"WHAT?" Hidan yelled, smacking his fists down on the table and standing up.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?" Itachi exclaimed, some where close to having a nervous breakdown.

"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" I screamed, banging on the shield, dramatic tears flowing from my eyes. It took Deidara and Sasori 15 minutes to pry me off the shield, and another 15 minutes to get me to stop crying.

Pein's POV

I didn't like it anymore than they did, but I figured that I'd have to tell them sometime…

"WHAT?" Hidan yelled, smacking his fists down on the table and standing up, giving me the scariest death stare a Jashinist could ever muster.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?" Itachi exclaimed, trying to hold down his emotions, as there was a high chance of having another one of his nervous breakdowns.

"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" Kimiko screamed, banging on the shield in front of me, dramatic tears falling down her face. Deidara and Sasori were the only ones who actually had enough sympathy to try and pry her off. She hysterically sobbed after they pried her off, and she had to be promised 5 bags of candy to stop screaming at me. She didn't stop crying, but she stopped screaming at me.

"Why?" Kisame asked, fear lining his otherwise unbreakable tone.

"Trust me, I don't like this anymore than you do. But they said if we don't come in, they'll come with the tranquilizer gun. You don't want that to happen again, do you?" I asked, crossing my arms, shuddering at the memory.

Everyone left the meeting with a deep grudge against me anyway, so I hid in my office, under the desk for the rest of the day.

Kimiko's POV

That night, the chicken was in the corridor leading to our bedrooms. Now he was even CLOSER. And the worst part, HE WAS A DOCTOR CHICKEN!

I found myself wide awake at 5:00 am in the morning, which wasn't uncommon.

Everyone was ready by 7:00, and our appointments were at 8:00, and it took 10 minutes to get in the car, 20 minutes to drag Hidan into the waiting room, and 20 minutes to keep me from having a nervous breakdown. The last 10 minutes were filled with fear and the smell of medicine.

We were called in all at once, which seemed out of the ordinary, but when we're the only patients with appointments, can you blame the for just wanting to get it over with?

I went with a doctor down a dark, cold, scary hall, where I assumed her examination office was. She was very pretty and she was short. She had shoulder length brown hair and shiny green eyes.

"Sit right here for me, honey." She said, patting the examination bed that always has the weird paper on it that you can never sit on without messing up.

"My name is Dr. Morinozuka. What's yours?" She asked sweetly, my medical history files in her arms.

"I have 2. The first one is Ryoko Takahashi, and the other is Kimiko." I said, trying to keep myself from stuttering in fear.

"Oh. That explains the 2 names on your files. Oh dear, it looks like you have anemia…" She said to herself, a little sorrow in her voice.

"Well, I'm just going to check you out a little, so it's nothing too serious… Wait, it looks like you're just in time for a few vaccinations!" She said, her right index finger resting on my vaccinations paragraph.

I felt the chibi raincloud form over my head, and I felt my heart rate pick up considerably.

"How many?" I asked in a high voice, filled with fear.

"Just a few. About 8, actually…" She said, reading down the list.

'WHAT?' I screamed mentally. 8? 8 shots? WHY ME?

Pein's POV

We were all done by 11:00am. I got the standard checkup, and I only needed 1 shot! Yay me!

Everyone else got standard checkups, but most needed vaccines of some sort.

Kimiko got 8, so she was VERY sore. She was in great pain when walking, but she didn't want anyone to carry her, so all she could do was grin and bare it.

When we got in the car, everyone's spirits were either broken, or something very close.

"Leader-Sama? Can we get ice cream?" Kimiko asked, using her little kitten eyes.

"After we pick up Zetsu from the green house." I said, flashing her a quick smile.

"Okay…" She said, sniffling quickly and wiping her nose.

Zetsu is technically a plant, so we send him to a green house to get checked up on. Who should appear out of no where but Tobi?

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed, popping up out of no where, which is seemingly impossible without someone seeing him.

Kimiko screamed and tipped back into the trunk, which was all too easy for her to do, considering the suburban's design.

"OWIES! QUICK, SOME ONE KILL ME NOW! END MY SUFFERING!" She yelled, as she most likely landed on at least one of her shot areas.

"TOBI! WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?" I yelled, expecting a decent answer.

"Well, when two people love each other very much-"Tobi started.

"I MEANT, HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?" I yelled, not wanting to hear his crappy explanation of something he still doesn't understand.

"THIS IS NO TIME FOR SILLY EXPLANATIONS! ZETSU-SAN IS STILL AT A GREEN HOUSE, WHERE HE'S PROBABLY MISERABLE!" Tobi yelled with his chibi depression face showing.

We went and picked up Zetsu, but in the process, buying a pretty Venus fly trap, simply because they liked each other. He said that her name was Hana.

When we went to Dairy Queen, we all quickly decided what we wanted.

"Wait, wait! I used to do this ALL the time. Pull up to the window!" Kimiko said, crawling up front, so she was sitting in between Konan and me.

"Welcome to Dairy Queen, can I take your order?" The voice asked.

"What?" Kimiko asked.

"Can I take your order?" The voice asked, a bit more clearly.

"What?" Kimiko asked, trying to keep her restrain her laughter.

"CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?" The voice asked, a little louder.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" She said, trying to hold down her laughter a little longer.

"CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?" The voice yelled.

"YES YOU CAN! AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL." She said, her laughter about to break her nerve.

She placed our orders.

"Drive around to the first window." Te voice said, sounding slightly irritated.

She threw herself into the backseat, and I paid for the ice cream, acting as though nothing had just happened.

We drove about 15 feet away from the Dairy Queen before bursting out with laughter.

"THAT WAS SO FREAKIN' FUNNY!" Hidan gasped through his laughing fit.

"HOW DID YOU LEARN THAT?" I asked, wiping away the tears of laughter.

"I saw a comedy about it on the internet! IT'S SO FUNNY!" Kimiko said, trying to control the uncontrollable giggles and laughs escaping.

"I gotta remember that one…" I said, wiping away another tear.

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Yes, now that I look at it, the joke seems cruel, but I look at the glass half full on this one, so if you got a problem with it then you can just forget any of this ever happened o_o Although... I highly doubt someone could forget something that funny... REVIEW PLZ! OR KIMIKO WILL COME AND BANG ON YOUR CHAKRA SHEILD!


	21. Chapter 21:puking and duct tape

Hello my lovlies! I GOT A MUFFIN! YAYZ! This chapter is quite random and it has very cruel humor, but even I laughed when writing this, so maybe you guys will like it.

I don't own NARUTO

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Kimiko's POV

Due to all the vaccinations we received, we all became quite ill. I was the worst, considering that I got 8. It was quite painful to walk, and I was bedridden, where I was happy to be. The chicken was now in the corridor where our bedrooms were. And he was still a doctor! With a machete, which made him look just plain weird, but he didn't seem to care, considering his plans to kill me for world domination. I heard his little chicken thoughts, and they were occasionally interrupted by thoughts of little hens, but that's none of my business…

I was throwing up my guts, and EVERYTHING was coming up. I mean, as soon as I ran out of bile, my spleen came up, either that, or it was my gum. And for once in my life, I was seriously hungry. But, the second any food or drinks hit my stomach, it would come back up. It was actually quite hilarious, because there's always that one part of your brain that's having a freakin' good time. After a good heave, you just wanna laugh a little. I have no idea how I came to that conclusion, it must have occurred to me after I threw up the medicine that was supposed to help. That's when I accepted death and decided to have a good laugh before I died from malnutrition. I don't even know how throwing up could be a reaction to the shots, but there's a lot I still don't know about medics, so I didn't question it too seriously. I found that I somehow had to go to the bathroom, even though I hadn't digested anything in the past 24 hours, but I reluctantly decided to go anyway, as there wasn't anything better to do.

Everyone else only had colds, which WAS NOT FAIR AT ALL. I was the good one. Sure, I cried and passed out during my vaccinations and I had a nervous breakdown in the waiting room, but I wasn't doing anything wrong! Tobi gave his doctor a heart attack and all Tobi got was a lousy cold! Hidan had to be knocked out for him to hold still during his vaccinations, and all he got was a cold. It was absolutely unfair, that is until I figured out why.

Maybe the guy at Dairy Queen put a curse on me!

It was a possibility, but it was too late to do anything about it.

Konan tried to give me more medication for the constant and violent vomiting, but I managed to throw myself under a nearby couch until backup arrived (by backup, I mean Ghost and Shadow, but they were the only ones I could summon from under a couch at the moment…). They knocked down a few pots and pans in the kkitchen, which led to Konan leaving the room to investigate, which led to my escape. Ghost and Shadow escaped through a heating duct, and made it back to my room, where I accidently threw up on them, which led to a cat fight, which led up to a complicated series of events that eventually led up to a truce, me under another sofa and the cats strapped to the back of toilets, Tobi calling the shots, wearing a hat made out of paper.

At dinner, someone duct taped me to my chair, and I was forced to watch everyone else eat. Zetsu was eating outside because there was a fungus growing around the injection site and he was shedding it everywhere, so we banished him to the backyard until the shedding stopped.

It was torture to watch everyone else eat, while I was starving to death.

"You guys have no idea how good you have it…" I muttered to myself, an anime raincloud forming over my head.

"WHY AM I DUCT TAPED TO MY CHAIR?" I asked, wiggling a little to see if I could get free in any way.

"We wanna see how long you can last before you beg for the medicine." Konan said, taking a bite of chicken and wild rice.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled, appearing next to me.

I screamed and tipped back in my chair, which was twice as scary because I couldn't make any attempts to grab something, or attempt to catch myself.

"WHY NOW?" I yelled, the raincloud getting bigger.

I laid down there, stuck in one position. It was cold and unforgiving down there, but it was better than watching other people eat. After dinner, everyone left the room, leaving me in there… alone… taped to a chair… Eventually, Hidan came back to the dining room, mainly because it's the only way to get to the kitchen, where he planned to get a snack. As he was walking by, he found me, still on the floor.

"What are you doing on the floor?" He asked, crossing his arms and looking down at me.

"I'M FREAKIN' DUCT TAPED TO THE CHAIR!" I yelled, a pained expression on my face.

"Oh… Right…" He said, an anime sweatdrop forming on the back of his head.

"Please untie me or I will explode. That happens to me sometimes…" I said, giving him my anime sad face.

"Sure." He said, whipping out a kunai and cutting off the tape.

"Can I ride with you please? I'm weak with hunger and I'm all stiff from lying on the floor for a few hours." I said, trying to stand up.

"Yeah, whatever…" he said, picking me up.

We went into the lounge room, mainly because it was routine to go in there after any meal.

"You're hitchhiking again?" Pein asked, rubbing one of hid eyes for no particular reason, a smile on his face.

"Well, what else was I supposed to do? Considering the fact I WAS FREAKING TAPED TO A CHAIR AND LEFT TO DIE IN THERE! And I was weak from hunger, so I couldn't do much except sit there and yell for help which DID NOT COME." I said, wanting to hit each one of them besides Hidan upside the head.

I saw anime sweatdrops of embarrassment on everyone's heads. Leader-Sama started to apologize, but I snapped him off and gave him the hand, then I went to bed, where I was sure I was gonna die.

'At least when I do, they'll feel guilty for what they did.' I thought to myself, climbing into bed and dosing off.

'Luckily, I keep my will and final testament written in my notebooks, in the increasingly likely event I do die…' I thought, closing my eyes, a smug little smile plastered to my face.

"off to the valley of the shadows…" I muttered before dozing off.

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Was it funny? Sad? Both? Don't worry, she's not gonna die... OR IS SHE?... REVIEW OR WE'LL COME AND DUCT TAPE YOU TO A CHAIR AND STEAL YOUR SKITTLES! THEN WE SHALL EAT THEM IN FRONT OF YOU! REVIEW!


	22. Chapter 22: The closet and revenge

Hi my lovlies. I'm sorry I didn't update in the past weekend, but I went to a state track meet, and there was NO FREAKING INTERNET. Well, I hope you guys like this one.

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Sadly, I didn't die of starvation that night. I just threw up some more bile, then, I watched TV until everyone else woke up. Hidan tried to duct tape me to another chair, but a complicated series of events happened, which somehow ended with me in the bathroom, trying to throw up something that just wasn't there, and Hidan duct taped to a chair, Shadow sitting on his head.

After a rather none eventful breakfast, I went into the lounge room to watch some more TV, where I was ambushed.

"I promise you won't throw it up this time!" Konan said, trying to force me into taking more medicine for my constant vomiting.

"No!" I yelled, trying to escape from Deidara's grip, as he was holding me down on the floor.

"TOBI! GET IN HERE!" Konan yelled.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled, appearing in a poof of smoke.

I, of course, couldn't flip backwards because I was already on the floor.

"If you don't take the medicine, we'll lock you in a closet with Tobi." Konan said, crossing her arms, meaning that she meant business.

I started to consider it, but my stomach was sore from all the lurching and heaving, so I simply shook my head and said,

"You wouldn't dare."

The next thing I knew, I was in a dark space with Tobi next to me.

Pein's POV

I thought it was a little cruel to lock a starving child in a closet with Tobi, but it was the only way we could get her to take the medicine.

"Tobi thinks Kiki-chan is very pretty." Tobi said, his voice slightly muffled by the closet door.

"C-can I get outta here now?" Kimiko said, her voice sounding a little frantic.

"Do you give?" Konan asked, a smile brushing her expression.

"NEVER!" Kimiko yelled, trying to make her voice steadier.

"T-Tobi… What are you doing?" She asked, her voice getting panicky again.

"TOBI! LET GO! THAT'S SORE! I SAID LET GO! NO! CRAP! HE WON'T LET GO! OW! HE BIT ME! HEY, HEY TOBI! DON'T DO THAT! THAT'S NOT COOL! OWIES! QUIT IT, TOBI! I SAID QUIT IT! CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" She screamed, every once in a while pounding on the door.

"OWIES! LET GO OF ME! WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TOBI? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" She frantically yelled, trying her best not to start crying.

Tobi farted.

Kimiko choked and gagged, trying to get clean air.

"AHHH! LET ME OUT! PLEASE! P-PLEASE! I CAN'T BREATHE! WHYY? AHHHH! LET ME OUT, PLEASE!" She screamed, pounding weakly on the door, getting weaker and weaker by the second.

Konan opened the door.

Kimiko tumbled out of the closet, gasping and choking frantically for air. After several seconds, she looked up at us.

"That… c-could technically be considered… ch-child neglect for… l-locking me in the closet… and child abuse for… s-suffocating me." She said, pausing to gulp in new air every so often.

We waited until she stopped crying and hyperventilating, then we had Hidan and Deidara hold her down, then Konan got her to swallow the medicine.

"I… will… throw... up... on... you..." She said slowly, trying not to gag on the medicine.

"Tch… You can't do that... anymore." Konan said, patting Kimiko's head.

"Well I can write a book. A LONG book." She said, trying to wiggle free of Deidara and Hidan's grip.

"Was it THAT bad?" Hidan asked, rolling his eyes.

"Yes it freaking was."

"No it wasn't."

"Then explain why Tobi's unconscious." She said, pointing at the open closet.

Tobi was passed out in there.

"I'd find that freaking hilarious if I WEREN'T JUST FREAKING LOCKED IN THERE WITH HIM!" Kimiko said, still pinned to the floor.

The entire evening was so cruelly hilarious. It was cruel because of the fact that we gave Kimiko the wrong medicine, so she threw up everywhere, but what made it hilarious was the fact that she threw up ON US.

Kimiko's POV

I wanted to rip their throats out because they locked me in the closet with Tobi for NOTHING, but I got revenge when I threw up on them. It was more than enough payback for the closet thing AND the chair thing. It hurt a lot, but it was SO funny that after my last good heave, I laughed so hard I cried in pain because of my sore stomach. It was worth the agonizing, excruciating pain. REVENGE IS WORTH IT IF YOU CAN TAKE IT. REMEMBER THAT, AND YOU'LL GO FAR, MY FRIEND.

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There you go. REVIEW OR KONAN WILL LOCK YOU IN THE CLOSET WITH TOBI. REVIEW!


	23. Chapter 23: Among reactions of Tobi

Hiya my lovelies. I wrote this because I was bored. VERY BORED. It might be boring in a few parts, but I fit in some humor, so try to bare with me for the entire chapter.

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Kimiko's POV

The next morning, I was so weak I could barely move. That gave Konan the chance to give me some medicine. She tried forcing it down my throat, but I used my remaining strength to crawl under my bed.

"Come out, please." Konan said, peering under the bed, looking for me.

"No." I said in a child like voice.

"Hidan, Deidara! Get in here, please!" Konan hollered. Hidan and Deidara came in. They immediately knew where I was, and they dragged me out from under the bed. I couldn't fight back because I couldn't really move anymore, so all I could do was scream for Shadow and Ghost to help me. Of coarse they abandoned me then, simply because they thought it was about time that I got some food.

"Please? I'll let you slap up Tobi." She said, shaking the bottle of medicine so I could hear it sloshing around in the bottle, which somehow reminded me that the chicken was now standing on the other side of the bedroom door this time.

"Don't mess with me Konan… I'm weak with hunger…" I said, closing my eyes and picturing me slapping the crap out of Tobi. I was pinned to the floor by Hidan and Deidara, so I couldn't really move at all. Konan took this opportunity to force it down my throat, and the next thing I knew, I was swallowing a foul tasting liquid. I coughed and sputtered, but it was too late. It was too far down to choke up.

"If... This stuff doesn't… work… I will projectile… vomit on you guys… again…" I said, stopping to gasp for air because I was just recently choking on the foul liquid making its way down my esophagus. Hidan had to hold me a certain way just so I could catch my breath, then they sat in there for the next hour or so, waiting to see if I would throw it back up. To my surprise, I didn't. Konan took this as a sign to get me something to eat. I ate a little light food before I passed out. The medicine apparently made me drowsy. I woke up an hour or 2 later, at about 8:00 am. I was actually able to move a little, so I went to the bathroom and did my thing, which I hadn't done in a while. I went to the kitchen to dig around in the food for a bit. That's where I found a whole pot of soup. It was turkey and wild rice. MY FAVORITIST SOUP EVER. It was still warm, too. I looked around. No one was there. I scrambled to the nearest cupboard and got a bowl. I got some soup and snuck to my room. I forgot how to swallow, so I sat there for about 20 minutes, trying to remember how. Eventually, instincts kicked in, and I ate up the soup in 3 minutes. I forgot how good food actually tasted. I ate about 3 more bowls, then I went to sleep until 11:00am.

Konan ruined my perfect slumber by dragging me out of bed and into the bathroom. She had me stand up on a scale. I lost 15.6 pounds. She shook her head. I personally didn't care how much weight I lost, but she made a big deal out of it. She went ranting on and on about how it wasn't good for a girl my age to lose too much weight too fast, and how it could stun my growth, and all that stuff. I walked out of the bathroom and went to bed, leaving a ranting Konan behind.

20 minutes later, she came back in with a box of my favorite crackers and a bottle of red poweraide. I spent the rest of my day eating crackers and drinking poweraide, provided by Konan.

Tobi came in once, and I took it as my chance to slap him up like Konan said I could. I beat him up for a good half hour before he found a way to escape. He was told that it was pay back for nearly killing me in the closet. He apologized to me, but I made him my personal servant for the rest of the day.

I wanted to see if anyone else had a certain reaction to Tobi scaring them, so Tobi and I snuck around the hideout, looking for unsuspecting victims. I recorded the reactions in my notebook, and it made me laugh to look back on it.

Itachi's reaction: He jumped at the sound of Tobi screaming his catch phrase, then strangled Tobi and punched him repeatedly until Tobi escaped the room by throwing a smoke bomb.

Kisame's reaction: He jumped at Tobi's sudden apperence then whacked Tobi in the head with his sword, which knocked Tobi out for several minutes.

Kakuzu's reaction: He jumped at Tobi's sudden presence in the room, then he threw big wads of money at him until Tobi left. Tobi and I split the money caught by Tobi. Of coarse, he got a bruise or two, but it was worth the money.

Hidan's reaction: He jumped, then he taught Tobi a whole lot of new words.

Pein's reaction: He didn't even twitch, but he did threaten Tobi with a pink slip.

Konan's reaction: She twitched a little then gave Tobi a long and emotional talk that made Tobi cry violently for a few minutes.

Zetsu's reaction: He didn't even jump. He plainly looked at Tobi and said, "Tobi? You aren't a very good boy now, are you?" Which made Tobi burst into tears and run from the room.

I laughed hysterically for several minutes before fainting from the pain caused by my sore stomach.

Even then, I was still giggling a little.

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Yes, boring, wasn't it? REVIEW OR... S-SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN! (Hidan: Out of threats, are we?) (Me: Yup... :( Pretty much...)


	24. Chapter 24: Scary random happenings pt1

Hi, my lovelies. I hope you guys enjoy this chappie, becuase I wrote this while thinking about you, the reader. So please read, so you can continue to be called a reader.

I don't own Naruto. Or When A Stranger Calls.

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Kimiko's POV

The chicken was now in my room. It took Hidan, Deidara, Itachi, and Sasori an hour to pry me out from under the bed.

After breakfast, everyone went into the lounge room to watch TV. I was barely able to sit, so I was only able to lie down on the floor. I was incredibly sore from all the lurching and heaving that went along with violently vomiting on other people and random objects for the past few days, so I couldn't really do much until the soreness went away.

Everyone was quiet, as the movie was quite interesting. What movie you ask?

When a Stranger Calls

The newer version.

Everyone was into it and everything, so it was DEAD SILENT. No one made any attempts to make any kind of noise at all. I didn't even realize I had a death grip on a nearby couch until I couldn't feel the hand gripping it. I pried it off and rubbed it until the circulation returned.

Then, the scary stuff started happening.

The phone rang.

Everyone jumped, as the scene playing on TV was quite tense and we were all tightened up enough.

We realized it was just the phone.

No one made any attempts to get up and answer it, so we all just stared at each other. I couldn't take the noise, so I decided to be the hero and get it, even though I was a little paranoid about who it was.

"Oh sure, let the crippled 11 year old get it…" I muttered, giving everyone a pained look as I got up and ran to the kitchen, where the phone nearest phone was.

'We really need to get a cordless…' I thought, scared to death, approaching the phone.

"Hello?" I asked quietly, answering it, not even looking at the caller ID.

"Did you check… the children?" The voice whispered.

"Not you again…" I said, breathing a sigh of relief and a sigh of irritation.

"Oh, I already called you guys, didn't I?" He whispered, sounding quite embarrassed.

"Yup… Get a life already! You can go get married, have kids, and check _them_! How about that? I'm missing out on a good movie because of you. Now bye." I said, ending the conversation by slamming down the phone onto the receiver.

I ran back to the lounge room and we finished the movie. No one asked me about who called, and I didn't wanna tell them, so we worked that out well enough.

At lunch, we started a conversation about what we thought hot dogs were made of, which some how ended with us talking about UFOs. I don't even know how we can just carry the conversation on and on, the subject morphing and morphing until we're left with something entirely different then what we started with.

After lunch, we watched more TV. Tobi hadn't made any sudden appearances prior to the morning, and now that it was the afternoon, I started to get suspicious.

It was dark and cloudy out, which came as a shock to us because we weren't expecting rain for at least another week.

It was scary because the clouds stayed where they were for the entire day. It waited until it got dark out. Then, it struck.

Konan was going on and on about how the power was probably gonna go out, and we were having this whole debate about it. I was on Leader-Sama's side, because he was the one saying that it wasn't. Even though Konan is the only other girl around, I didn't want the power to go out. I was scared of the dark.

Sure, I like to sit in my room, the lights dimmed down and the window covered, but there's always something there to make sure the room wasn't completely dark, like a little night light, or my MP3 player, or something.

But I'm talking about the kind of dark where you can't see ANYTHING. The kind of dark where you know you could be in your own room, and not being able to see anything, even if it's right in front of you. The kind of dark where you could be standing in the middle of a hallway a mile long and feel like you're in a box, slowly being sealed, where you can walk into a wall, even though you know you're not even close to the wall. That kind of dark.

I was listening to both their arguments, and it reminded me that I had to pee. BADLY. They decided to use me as a trigger object. Everything always happens to me, so they would see if the power went out while I was in there. The thought almost made me go right there, but I held it until I got to the bathroom.

"I promise, the power's not gonna go out on you. Sure, I've been wrong before, but you're our only hope of finding the truth about this whole situation." Leader-Sama said.

"O-okay…" I said, nodding slowly, trying to hold myself together.

I got up from my place, very sorely, and I ran to the bathroom. I barely made it. Just… barely…

I quickly did my thing and flushed. I had just finished washing my hands when the unthinkable happened.

ZZZZZZ went the power.

I was left in darkness.

"WHYYYYYYY?" I yelled, making everyone giggle a little.

I started banging on the door.

"HELP! I FRIGGIN LOCKED THE DOOR! I THINK HIDAN PLAYED BLOODY MARY IN HERE THE OTHER DAY! LET ME OUT! AHHHHH!" I screamed, banging and kicking the door, trying frantically to escape the cursed bathroom.

"IT'S TRUE YOU KNOW!" Hidan yelled, trying to scare me.

"NOT FUNNY, HIDAN!" I yelled, still banging on the door. I thought I felt something brush my back, and I lost all control. I felt tears escaping my eyes. I started breathing hard and shaking. My thoughts got fuzzy and I felt weak. I felt disoriented, and I almost fainted.

I mentally slapped myself, realizing that I just started having a panic attack.

'GET A GRIP, YOU SISSY!' My inner demon yelled, slapping me across the face.

I suddenly knew what to do. I felt around for the door knob. I found it and twisted the little lock mechanism on it, causing it to unlock. I twisted the door knob, and it opened. I tumbled out onto the floor in a messy heap. I scrambled as far away from the bathroom as I could until I collapsed on the floor, a half crying, half laughing mess. I heard someone coming, so I waited until they were about to step on me, then I grabbed their ankle.

"GAAAHHH! BLOODY MARY!" Hidan yelled, kicking me in the face.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU BAKA!" I said, throwing myself on top of Hidan, giving him a hug disguised as a weak attempt to strangle him.

"Oh, I thought you were still in the bathroom." Hidan said, pulling me off of him and putting me down on the floor.

"I got out, no thanks to you!" I said, giving him a sarcastic look that he probably didn't see, considering he had NO LIGHT.

"Come on…" He said, ruffling my short dark hair before starting to walk in the direction he came from. I froze, suddenly realizing how dark it actually was. I made some weak attempt at a squeal as I rushed forward and grabbed his arm, burying my face in his sleeve. It made him stop for a fraction of a second before beginning to walk again. I felt my face burn, but it was better than standing there alone. I pulled my face away from his sleeve and I could've sworn I saw him smile down at me. I gripped his arm tightly, making sure he wouldn't go anywhere with me. He sensed my fear of being left alone, so he stopped for a second.

"Do you wanna get on my back?" he asked, putting a hand on my head.

"Yeah, I would like that…" I said, climbing on his back. I buried my face in his back, as he stood. My arms wrapped around his neck so I wouldn't slip off. I felt him take every step, and it was sadly hilarious that after everything that has happened to me over the years, I was clinging to him like a 4 year old all because I was scared of the dark.

When we arrived at the lounge room, Hidan bumped into a couch, which told him we HAD indeed arrived in the lounge room.

"Damnit…" He muttered, sitting down on the couch.

"Oh hey, Hidan. Did you retrieve the 'special cargo'?" Konan said, putting special emphasis on the last two words.

"Hell yeah he did!" I said, crawling out from behind Hidan and plopping down next to him.

"Oh Kimiko! We thought you were dead or something…" Konan said, slowing down for the last few words before cutting herself off from what she was going to say.

"I'm alive, NO THANKS TO ANYONE…" I said, kicking whoever was next to me.

"Ow, un…" Deidara said, most likely shooting me a death glare.

"Does anyone have any idea where the flashlights are?" Leader-Sama asked.

"I have some in my room." I said instantly.

"Good. Could you go get them?" He asked, his tone sounding more hopeful.

"Yeah… about that… I don't wanna go alone…" I said, a big anime sweatdrop on the back of my head.

"Well, I'm not going…" Almost everyone muttered at once.

"Fine… I'll go… If I do not return, call the police." I said before wandering off into the darkness.

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Heh... CLIFFHANGER! DUNDUNDUN. REVIEW OR BLOODY MARY WILL COME AND MAKE YOU SPAZ OUT ON A NEARBY DOOR!


	25. Chapter 25: Scary random happenings pt2

Chello! I made this chapter quite long, and it's just for you!

I don't own Naruto or EyeClops.

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Kimiko's POV

Those sissies… I was supposed to go get OUR flashlights, BY MYSELF? IN THE DARK?

I wandered off into the darkness, trying to keep the scary thoughts out of my head. I kept my eyes closed, because it wouldn't matter how wide I opened them, it was still dark. I walked along, my hands feeling their way across the walls and doors.

My heart was beating so hard I was scared someone might hear it. My breathing was quick and more audible than normal. It was either the side effect of a panic attack, or I was still crying. I didn't really care, considering the fact no one was around to hear me or see me…

I was hoping.

When I found my room, I opened the door and I did the same thing I usually do in the light. I bumped into something then I fell over.

"Owies… Who put that there?" I asked to myself, wondering what I bumped into and why I bumped into it. I shrugged it off and crawled around until my head hit something.

My desk.

I reached up and felt around in the drawers. I found my Eye Clops night vision night scope, a couple flashlights, my glow sticks and glow jewelry I'd been saving for a special occasion, and a laser pointer. I decided to use the night scope for myself, and I would give the flashlights to everyone else.

Why do I have so many flashlights, you ask?

Because I can. That's why.

I walked along with my night vision goggles, feeling quite confident that I wasn't gonna run into anything, now that I could see my surroundings. The glow jewelry packets fit perfectly in my shorts pockets, but that left no room for the flashlights.

Of course, it occurred to me that I could put them in my cloak pockets.

I felt a sweatdrop.

When I got back to the lounge room, I could see what everyone was doing, even though they couldn't see me.

Hidan looked annoyed as hell.

Kakuzu was trying to count the change he had found under a couch cushion, but he couldn't see.

Itachi was plainly sitting there.

Kisame had a death grip on his sword.

Konan and Leader-Sama were holding hands, which seemed kind of gross to me at the time.

Zetsu and Zetsu were talking to each other using 'plant talk', the kind where only other plants and for some strange reason, I, can understand.

Tobi was sitting under the couch, curled up in a fetal position.

Deidara and Sasori were having a fight about what art this situation could be considered as.

I had to use all my will power not to burst out laughing. Then, an idea occurred to my brain.

I dropped to the floor and crawled until I was behind the couch that currently had Hidan, Deidara, Sasori, and Itachi sitting on it.

I snaked under the couch. I ran my hand across the backs of their feet or lower legs, which ever was exposed more.

"HOLY CRAP!" They all yelled, jumping up and trying to get a good distance away from the couch. I held in my laughs as I crawled to the next couch, the one with Kisame, Zetsu, Kakuzu, and the love birds on it. They were questioning the 4 men who were just scared off the couch they had been sitting on, when I did the same to them.

"HOLY CRAP!" They yelled, jumping off the couch and landing on each other in a big dog pile on the floor.

That wasn't enough though. I crawled over to the couch containing a terrified Tobi.

"Hello, Tobi." I whispered behind Tobi's shaking form.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" He screamed frantically, jumping on top of the dog pile.

I didn't think I would get that reaction from him, but I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I burst out laughing so hard I almost couldn't breathe.

"Y-you guys… are s-sissies!" I yelled through my laughing fit on the floor.

"That was not funny, Kimiko!" Leader-Sama said, his head hitting the ground with a sigh of relief.

"How the hell did you know where we were?" Hidan said, the realization of how I found them hitting him.

"I have '_night vision_'. I'm just awesome like that." I said, completing the dog pile.

"Do you at least have something for us like you were told?" Leader-Sama asked.

"Yes, because I'm a good girl and good girls do what they're told." I said, standing up and throwing flashlights in everyone's laps.

They turned them on and saw my night vision goggles. I was blinded by the light, so I took them off quickly.

"No fair! How come you get night vision?" Hidan asked in a child like voice.

"BECAUSE I HAD A FREAKING PANIC ATTACK IN THE BATHROOM, HIDAN. I AM FREAKING SCARED OF THE DARK, OKAY? I AM FREAKING SCARED OF THE DARK." I said, gripping his shoulders and shaking him frantically. I let go and gave him a patriotic salute before grabbing a foam padded paddle, stopping mid jump over a sofa, and looking at everyone.

"I'm going to get a snack. Who's in?" I asked, putting on my night vision goggles.

Itachi, Deidara, Zetsu, Hidan, and Kisame volunteered to come, as they were quite hungry.

"Let's do this, then." I said, jumping completely over the couch I had been posing on, and running off for the kitchen.

"I love that little B****…" I heard Hidan to himself say.

When we arrived at the kitchen, I found a half eaten cookie on the floor.

"Hey guys…" I said, turning my head and my voice getting higher for emphasis of the urgency.

"Eh? What's that?" Hidan asked, poking the cookie.

"A cookie, baka, un…" Deidara muttered.

"I freakin' know THAT… But who left it?" He shot back, punching Deidara.

"Maybe the demonic mutant thingies from hell are back for round 2!" I suggested, looking up at them.

"We had round 2 in the basement." Kisame said.

"Nuh-uh. That was round 1 for YOU GUYS. That was round 2 for me, because of the couch thing. If some HELPED me, it would've been round 2 for them too, but seeing as no one helped, I guess I'm the only one who faced round 2." I said, examining the kitchen for any signs of the dreaded creatures.

Everyone shuddered.

"By the way, how DID you know what those things were, un?" Deidara asked curiously.

"I had an encounter with them when I was 8." I said, pretending to look under the table, where no one would see me shudder at the memory.

I was about to back out from under the table, when I saw something that scared the crap out of me.

* * *

CLIFFHANGER AGAIN! DUNDUNDUN! REVIEW OR... SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN! SOMETHING BAD!


	26. Chapter 26: Walmart man and the offer

Kimiko's POV

I screamed and jumped back before it swiped at me. I threw myself backwards and hit the floor, butt first.

What did I see, you ask?

I saw a mouspider. But that wasn't the unusual part. What made it down right scary was who was trying to kill it.

A guy from Walmart.

Yes, a guy from Walmart was killing a mouspider, under a table, in my house.

He was killing it with a big wrench. It wasn't exactly my tool of choice, but he seemed to be getting along fine.

When he was done killing it, he looked up at me.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?" I screamed, scrambling backwards until I bumped into someone's legs behind me.

"I'm a guy from Walmart." He said in a know-it-all voice.

"I KNOW THAT! BUT WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?" I screamed, pushing back farther into whoever was behind me.

"I came to tell you guys about a contest we're holding." He said, standing up and brushing some of the mouspider's fur off of himself.

"What kind of contest?" Itachi asked, narrowing his eyes at the man, his voice lined with suspicion.

"We're offering 100,000,000 ryo AND dollars to the group who can last the longest inside our store." He said, emphasis surrounding the money part.

By this time, I had stood up, but at the mention of how much money was at stake, I fainted.

Itachi's POV

We all had some kind of reaction to the offer, but Kimiko's was the most extreme.

She fainted.

I was going to attempt to catch her, but I hesitated, causing her to hit the floor in a way that sounded rather painful.

After several seconds, she snapped out of it and she stood up.

"I-I'm fine… Go on." She said, rubbing her head sorely.

"Um… Well, there are going to be 7 other groups, and the one who can last the longest will get the money." He said in a perky way that made me wanna slap him.

"What's the catch?" Hidan asked, narrowing his eyes at the strange Walmart man.

"No catch." He said, looking at all of us, a truthful look on his face.

"Plus, you can do what ever you want." He said, making it sound that much sweeter.

Kimiko fainted again.

This time, I caught her before she hit the floor, but just barely.

After several more seconds, she snapped out of it and stood up again.

"May I suggest a safety belt for this next part?" Walmart man asked, a smile forming on his face.

Kimiko waved us off, rubbing her head, mentally preparing for the next part.

"Every single person in the winning group will be chosen to fight a loser opponent, and whoever wins the entire competition will get to run through the store for 30 minutes, taking what ever they want or can grab." He said, having a little trouble remembering the details.

The only one who followed him the whole way through, and understood, was Kimiko, causing her to faint once again.

After a few minutes, she snapped out of it and managed to stand back up.

"And the best part? The winner gets to meet a band of their choice." Walmart dude put in.

We all looked at Kimiko.

"I-I'm fine." She said, using all her will power not to fall over.

"So when is this contest supposed to take place?" Kisame asked.

"Next week. We'll give you all the details and rules of the contest at the store." He said.

Finally, Kimiko lost control and fainted.

"Poor thing, she held on as long as she could, un." Deidara said, looking down at her.

"Is she always like that?" Walmart dude asked, pointing at the unconscious child on the floor.

"No, the fainting thing is new." I said, looking down at her.

She managed to snap out of it after several minutes.

"Go tell Leader-Sama and the others to get in here, Kimiko." I said, after she was stable.

"M'kay." She said, running from the room, pulling on the goggles.

"You know, I've noticed something." Said the Walmart man.

"What's that?" I asked, leaning back against a counter.

"I used to believe that there was no cool way to faint. But that kid proved me wrong." He said, stuffing the wrench into his back pocket.

Kimiko's POV

I ran into the lounge room, only to be blinded by a flash light shined directly at me.

"Oh hi Kimiko. What's going on? We heard you screaming." Konan said.

"We found a half eaten cookie on the floor, so we thought something got into the hideout, so we were looking, and I looked under the table and I found a mouspider that tried to kill me, but a guy from Walmart came with a wrench and he killed it and he told us about a contest and I kept fainting and Itachi told me to come get you guys and I came and got you so COME ON!" I said, nearly out of breath by the end of the explanation.

"Eh?" Leader-Sama choked out.

"JUST COME WITH ME." I said, leaving the room, expecting everyone else to follow.

They did, but just barely.

When we got to the kitchen, Walmart guy had to re-explain everything, which resulted in me almost fainting once again and a lot of cussing from everyone.

Long story short, we kicked the Walmart guy out in the rain after he was done explaining, and we basically freaked out for the rest of the night.

I thought it was pretty damn funny.


	27. Chapter 27: Let the contest begin

Hello my lovelies! I didn't wake up until 1:17 pm today, so that's why this was a little late.

I don't own NARUTO OR WALMART.

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Pein's POV

The next week flew by, and before we knew it, it was almost time to go.

The only troubling occurrences that happened that week were Kimiko's nightmare problem, and the fact that Hidan spent 3 days locked in his room, thanking Jashin for this 'blessed opportunity'.

With Kimiko, the chicken was at the side of her bed, preparing to kill her with a knife.

It took 5 hours to pry her out of her closet. And it took another 3 hours to get her to stop crying and screaming.

We left Hidan alone, as he can be quite scary if you interrupt his rituals.

We all packed some light clothes and a few other essentials, as we had no idea how long the contest would be going on.

Kimiko didn't really need to pack much, as she was only going to wear her usual attire and her Akatsuki cloak as she always did because we hadn't gotten around to getting her more clothes, which left more room in her bag for kami knows what else…

We decided to walk to Walmart, as the village wasn't that far away and we didn't wanna seem lazy. I mean, we ARE lazy, but we just didn't wanna seem that way.

Kimiko's POV

Leader-Sama said we were supposed to WALK. I didn't want to walk, but if Leader-Sama says we're supposed to do something, about 80% of the time we do it.

I was only wear a gray t-shirt and some baggy dark jean shorts with a chain attached to one of the pockets, along with my Akatsuki cloak. I was wearing my normal shinobi sandals, since it was basically the only shoes I had. I'd been with these guys for almost 2 months and we still hadn't gone shopping for me! I mean, Konan got me toys and stuff, but I was more concerned about the clothes at that particular moment.

Tobi planned on scaring the other people once we got there, which we had no problems with. While we were walking, the only thing I could do was listen to music. And that resulted in me not paying attention to where I was walking.

THUMP

I was on the ground, in front of a tree.

"Owies…" I muttered, standing up and staring at the tree.

I got very angry with the tree. I kicked the tree…3 times in a row. Then, I wandered off, but not before throwing a kunai at it.

"That'll show you." I said, turning to the tree and sticking my tongue out it before running off to catch up with everyone else.

You can bet I only left one ear phone in after that.

When we got to Walmart, it was 6:00 pm. We didn't have to be there until 8:00 pm, which made us the first ones there. I found that the door entering Walmart was locked, which could explain why no one was there.

What did we do for the next 2 hours, you ask?

We played with the shopping carts, of course!

I won every single race we had because I had experience dealing with running like hell and jumping on something.

Eventually, it got too emotionally degrading for everyone and they decided to team up. Konan picked me, and we won every race after that. It became even more emotionally, physically, mentally, and psychologically degrading for everyone else because they were being beaten by 2 girls.

When another team arrived suddenly, we had to scramble to hide what we were doing. I hopped out of the cart as fast as I could, but my shoe got caught in that little useless seat belt thing on the front of the cart and I landed face first on the pavement.

Owie!

I quickly stood up and waved off any help offered to me, insisting I was okay.

"I-I'm fine… I-I'm okay…" I said, trying to stop my nose bleed. I had a tiny scrape on my forehead and a scratch under my right eye.

I had to stand there with my hand under my nose for 20 minutes before the bleeding finally stopped, which left the scent of blood every where. I had to run all the way home to wash up. I ended up taking a five minute shower. Then, I quickly changed into an identical baggy gray t-shirt with a black paw print under the right shoulder and the same trunks I was wearing before. It was still clean, so I figured no one would care. I ran all the way back to Walmart, not even out of breath. I swear that I probably looked like a Cullen at that exact moment I arrived. I jumped out of no where and I looked pale from the blood loss, which made me look like a vampire from Twilight.

What made it cool was the fact that there were A LOT of cute boys my age or older there who saw me do that.

"I see you've recovered from that traumatic event. Did you take a shower?" Konan asked, running a hand through my short black hair in a way that I assumed was motherly.

"Yeah, I smelled like blood. I didn't wanna freak any one out." I said, almost about to make eye contact with her. I felt those boys looking at me, and it made me blush considerably.

"We were scoping out the other teams. I don't see why this is going to be a tough challenge. It's just Walmart…" Leader-Sama said, looking at the Walmart sign above the doors entering the said building.

I suddenly remembered something I had seen something on TV the other day and I made a connection with it.

"Hey guys… Umm… I think I know why this is going to be a challenge…." I said, getting a little closer so that no other teams could hear.

"What is it?" Konan asked, the most eager to hear my suggestion.

I suddenly thought how silly the idea was going to sound.

"N-never mind… It was stupid." I said, hesitantly backing away a little.

"Okay…" Konan said, shrugging a little hesitantly, questioning my sudden shyness on the situation.

Eventually, everyone arrived and the manager of that particular Walmart came and told us the rules and gave us all the details.

"For the first part of this contest, you will be locked inside the Walmart behind me. Now, the way you win the challenge may seem silly now, but it will make sense in the long run. Which ever team can make it the longest inside Walmart wins the money. I'll explain the next set of details for the next challenge. The rules for this challenge are, No killing, if the vast majority of your team wants to leave, you have to leave, no leaving with another team. You can only leave with your own team, and, you are not allowed to sue us. Any questions?" He asked, clasping his hands together.

No one said anything. I raised my hand.

"Yes, little lady?" He asked, looking at me, expecting me to ask a dumb question because of my age.

"Why did you send your employees to our houses?" I asked, tilting my head slightly.

He thought about this for a second.

"Because we thought no one would take the contest seriously, so we sent people to your houses to show you that we are dead serious about this contest. That way you guys would take it seriously." He said looking at all of us.

"We still aren't taking it seriously…" Someone muttered. Everyone laughed, and it was quite hilarious because the manager didn't hear it.

"Alright, I think we're ready. So, if you kind folks would just go inside, we'll lock you in and you can do whatever until morning. Good luck!" He said, locking the door and walking off to somewhere behind the building.

We heard a loud noise behind us.

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Did you like it? Review or else a we'll come lock you in Walmart with a bunch of cute guys or girls! But I think you would like that, wouldn't you? ;)


	28. Chapter 28: New friends for Kikichan!

Ello! I hope you guys like this chapter because I enjoyed writing it.

I don't own NARUTO or WALMART or any companies... That I know of...

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Pein's POV

We suddenly heard a loud noise coming from DIRECTLY behind us.

"What was that?" Konan whispered instantly following the sound.

"Maybe it was the wind…" A boy muttered, sounding just as scared.

"Inside?" Kimiko asked, a little sarcasm lining her tone.

"Hidan, you're immortal! Go check it out!" I said, pushing him forward.

He walked forward until we couldn't see him anymore.

"Whose idea was it to leave their lights OFF?" A Girl about Kimiko's age muttered, fear lining her tone.

Suddenly, a toy bear flew out of the darkness and made us all jump or scream.

Hidan came walking out from the darkness, laughing hysterically.

"Y-You guys… Are s-such sissies!" He said through is laughing fit.

"Die!" Kimiko yelled jumping on him from behind.

"GAAAHHHH!" He yelled in surprise.

"You're not the only one who can play dirty!" Kimiko said, tripping him and jumping on top of him.

"How do they expect us to make it through the night with NO LIGHTS?" Kakuzu said, crossing his arms.

"I can fix that!" Kimiko said, getting off Hidan and running for the nearest light switches. They were the kind where you need a key to, so I was curious to see how she planned on turning them on.

She wandered up to the fixture and took a bobby pin out of her hair. She then stuck it in a random key hole and turned it.

The air conditioning kicked on.

"Wait, wrong one. Hold on…" She said, looking back to the light fixtures.

She picked another random one.

The entire store lit up.

"Got it!" She said, pulling the hair pin out of the key hole and putting it back in her hair.

"Alright… What do we do now?" A large man behind me said.

"We could walk around and take stuff." A boy slightly older than Kimiko suggested, shrugging boredly.

Everyone looked at each other for a split second before running off in different directions.

Kimiko's POV

We all glanced at each other for a split second before running in different directions. I ran for the teenage girl's clothes.

I see you shaking your head and saying, 'Oh Kimiko…'

Well, I'm only human.

Sorta…

When I got there, the first thing I did was look at the shirts. I was a little small for my age, but I like buying the teenage stuff because I don't like being caught in the little girl's clothes.

I decided to listen to some music while stealing clothes, so I popped in my earphones and put my MP3 player on shuffle.

I was so busy looking at all the awesome clothes that I didn't watch where I was going, so as I was backing up to look at a t-shirt rack, I accidently bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry!" I said, spinning around and backing up.

"No, I'm sorry." The person who I bumped into said, turning and looking at me. She was about my age, but a little taller. She had shoulder length brown hair and big brown eyes. She was wearing a baby blue t-shirt and a pair of dark jean trunks that were just above her knees, along with some ninja sandals. She was from the nearby village, as I could tell by her forehead protector.

"Hey, you're that girl who turned on the lights for us, right?" She asked, pointing at me, her big brown eyes lighting up a little.

"Yeah…" I said, nodding.

"I'm SO glad you did, because I'm terrified of the dark. I mean, I LIKE the dark, but not pitch dark." She said, getting a little lost in her own explanation.

"Really? Me too!" I said, my eyes lighting up.

"Oh, umm…. My name's Miyu. What's yours?" She asked, putting down the armful of clothes she was carrying.

"Kimiko." I said, brushing my side bangs out of my eyes.

"Oh, that's a nice name. How old are you?" She asked, her curiosity peeking in her voice.

"11 and a half." I said, putting down my arm load of clothing.

"I'm 12." She said, brushing her bangs out of her eyes.

Suddenly, another girl came wandering up to us.

"Hi, um… This is a little embarrassing, but I'm looking for my earring. I lost it while I was looking at the shirts earlier." She said, looking all over on the ground, holding her left earlobe to hide the fact that it was bare. She looked about Miyu's age. She had long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She was wearing a dark green tunic and faded jean shorts that went slightly passed her knees, along with some ninja sandals.

"By the way, I'm Hanako." She said, brushing some strands of hair behind her ear.

She looked down again, and not 6 ft away was a shiny flower shaped earring.

"There it is. Okay, good talking to you guys." She said, turning and smiling at us before disappearing behind a display stand.

"She was sweet." Miyu said.

"Yeah." I said, nodding before picking up my clothes.

We browsed the rest of the teenagers section, talking the whole time. When we were done, we found ourselves next to the teenage boys section, where a few boys were browsing. A few smiled at us, and we giggled before beginning to browse the clothes again to make sure we didn't miss anything.

Suddenly, the lights flickered. I made no attempts at moving, so Miyu and I looked at each other and laughed a little nervously.

"Maybe we should head back before we get caught in the dark…" I suggested a little nervously.

"Not a bad idea…" Miyu said, beginning to walk towards the front.

The lights went off at that moment, and they stayed off.

We both squealed girlishly.

I closed my eyes to keep the actual darkness away, and I turned up the music on my MP3 player.

"You wanna listen to some music?" I asked Miyu.

"S-Sure." She replied.

I blindly handed her an earphone and we walked forward for a good 20 minutes or so, bumping into everything.

"Heh, this is how I wander around in the light…" Miyu muttered after bumping into something. We both laughed.

We finally arrived at the front of the store, where only a few people were.

"Uh-oh…" We both muttered, seeing the fact that neither of our groups were there.

"We better go look for 'em…" Miyu said, reaching into her bag and finding her cell phone.

"Oh, you have a cell phone?" I asked, pointing at the phone in her hand.

"Yeah. Do you?" She asked.

"Yeah. We should switch numbers." I said, reaching into my bag and pulling out my night vision goggles.

"If I don't return, call the cops." Miyu said, walking into the darkness.

"Same here." I said, walking in some random direction, adjusting my goggles.

* * *

Well? How'd you like it? Review PLZ! OR WE'LL LEAVE YOU IN THE DARK IN WALMART! BWAHAHAHAHAHA


	29. Chapter 29: The 4th of July special

Hello my readers! I hope you guys are enjoying 4th of July as much as I am!

I don't own Naruto, or walmart.

* * *

Kimiko's POV

I wandered around in absolute darkness for a good 10 minutes before I found my first idiot.

Hidan.

He was by the medicine, planning on stealing some and drugging our food or something like that…

He was sitting against one of the stands, looking rather helpless and wide eyed.

"Hey, Hidan." I said, beaming evilly at his fear filled reaction.

"GAH! BLOODY MARY HAS RETURNED!" He yelled, throwing random nearby objects at me.

"Ow! It's just me you baka!" I said, giving him a signature whack in the stomach.

"Oh, it's just you. How'd you get here?" He asked, looking in the direction I was most likely in.

"Night vision goggles." I said, adjusting them a little.

"Now, c'mon! I still have to find everyone else!" I said, grabbing his hand and leading him back to the front.

I dropped him off then walked in yet another random direction. I started calculating everyone's possible location. I found my second idiot and third idiot while I was wandering around, thinking of where I would actually find them.

Sasori and Deidara.

I found them near, where else, but the art section.

What amazed me was the fact that they chose to argue about art at a time like that.

The topic?

What kind of art the current situation could be considered as.

"Hey, Deidara, Sasori." I said, half expecting something to hit me in the head.

"GAH! DIE!" They both yelled, throwing random objects at me.

"Watch it, you bakas!" I said, giving them both light shoves.

"Oh, Kimiko!" They both said, dropping the objects they were preparing to fire at me.

"And here I am trying to save you guys…" I said, grabbing their hands and leading them back to the front.

When I dropped them off, I walked off in yet another random direction.

4th idiot was easy to find.

Kakuzu.

He was in the minefield known as the check out.

It's a minefield to me, because I RUN INTO EVERY FREAKING THING.

It took me a full 20 minutes to get to his location, where he was still ripping cash out from the cash registers.

"Kakuzu! Save some for me!" I said, swatting his hand away from the register.

"GHOST!" He yelled, throwing wads of cash at me.

"Quit it!" I said, swatting him again.

"Oh, it's just you." He said, relaxing.

"C'mon, we can come back later." I said, dragging him away from the registers.

"But I wanna stay…" He whined in a childish voice.

I dragged him back to the front and had Hidan hold him down.

5th idiot was Zetsu.

I found him by the gardening section, holding small talk with some flowers.

"Hey Zetsu?" I asked, shielding my head in case he was going to fling things at me.

"Oh, hey Kimiko." He said after realizing who I was, as he had already flung a few things at me.

"C'mon…. You can talk to the pretty plants later. What about Hana? She's at home, alone! And you're talking to OTHER PLANTS…" I said, dragging him away from the flowers.

When I got him back to the front, I found that Miyu had only found half her crew, where with us; I only had a few left.

6th and 7th idiots were Leader-Sama and Konan.

I found them in the cutlery section, next to the knives, about to make out.

"Save it for later, please. There are children around." I said, preparing to have sharp cutlery flung at me.

Luckily, I was able to dodge all of the sharp objects thrown at me.

"Oh, it's just Kimiko." Konan said after a little while of knives being thrown.

"C'mon, you guys! I wanna get back to the front before I come to m senses and have a panic attack." I said, grabbing their hands and dragging them back to the front.

When we got to the front, I flopped down on the ground and took a big sigh of exhaustion.

"Did we forget anyone?" Konan asked, ruffling my hair lazily.

"If we did, I'm not going to get 'em this time. I had enough things thrown at me for one day…" I said, closing my eyes and planning on drifting off for some sleep.

"Tobi! We forgot Tobi!" Konan said, fake urgency in her voice.

We all tried to act like we cared, but it only lasted a second or two.

"Oh, we'll just leave him." I said, waving it off and dropping my head onto the floor, where I planned on going to sleep for a bit.

"Hey, what about all those other people? There are still a few people missing." A young man said, pointing at me.

"Hey kid? Can you go get them for us? My brother and his friends are still out there some where." Another young man said, looking up at the darkness, a slight look of worry on his face.

"Why? I barely rounded up MY crew! Now you want me to round up yours?" I said, still lying down.

"They're about your age, and I figured that you'd know where to look." He said, shrugging.

I bolted upright.

"Eh?" I asked.

"Well, since he's about your age, I figured that you'd know where to look for him." He repeated.

"But… You're his brother! Plus, you're a boy! You'd know where to look. But since you insisted…" I said, grabbing a flashlight and walking off into the darkness.

I didn't even know any details about the boy I was supposed to find, so I guessed I was gonna have to go around and save ALL the cute boys. ;)

The first place I went was the boys' clothes. More specifically, the teenage boys' clothes. I found a group of boys sitting in the clothing rack. You know, when there's a round clothing rack you just HAVE to crawl under and sit inside.

"Hey. Are you guys okay?" I asked, peering under. They all looked wide-eyed, helpless, and absolutely adorable.

They all jumped, and then sighed in relief that they were being rescued.

"Oh good. We thought we would be stuck here for the rest of the night…" A boy muttered, crawling out from under the rack.

Suddenly, the lights came back on.

I turned off my flashlight.

"Wait, you're a girl?" He asked, seeming a little embarrassed.

"Well that doesn't seem to matter out here, now does it?" I said, crossing my arms and smiling at them.

We went and saved a few other boys who were trapped by the video games, and we started to walk back.

We were still in the back of the store, and as we were beginning to walk back, the lights went out again.

I made a faint attempt at a squeak, and I accidently hugged a nearby boy.

"S-Sorry…" I said, backing off of him a little.

"Where's you're flashlight?" He asked, not even affected by the fact that I practically attacked him.

"Right…" I said, pulling it out of my of my pocket, trying to keep my eyes closed.

It wouldn't turn on.

"Great, the batteries are dead…" I said, shaking it so they could hear the batteries clang around inside the now useless flashlight.

"I guess we're just gonna have to keep walking…" He said, sighing half nervously and half annoyed.

We walked for a half hour or so, doing nothing but talking, just to make sure we were close to the group. I wasn't much of a talker around new people, so I plainly kept a loose grip on that boy's forearm.

Eventually, he decided to hold my hand, as it was easier than clinging to his forearm. I secretly enjoyed it, and I think he did too.

When we were almost to the front, we heard a loud thud coming from behind us.

I squeaked and hugged whoever was next to me out of reflex, and it worked to my advantage in the log run.

"What was that?" Someone whispered.

"I don't wanna find out…" The boy I was hugging said. We all ran forwards, even though we had NO idea where we were. I kept bumping into things and falling over, but do you think that actually stopped me?

I was actually ahead of everyone by a few feet, and it was just my luck to trip right when I got into seeing vicinity of the base camp we had in front, causing a massive dog pile of children ages ranging from 11 to 15.

I, being very unlucky and being the smallest of everyone in the pile up, was at the very bottom of the pile, and was crushed.

After 20 minutes or so, the person at the top of the dog pile got off, letting everyone else get up. I was suffocated, and it took me a minute or two to get up, as fresh air never felt so good. Sure, there was the time I got locked in the closet with Tobi, but that was only for 5 minutes. This was 20 minutes. I had to crawl to the base camp, and I collapsed on the ground, not ready for any more adventures any time soon.

"Hey! It's 4th of July!" A boy yelled, holding up his watch and showing that it was midnight.

"You guys wanna light some fire works?" Someone asked.

"INSIDE?" Everyone screamed.

"No! I wouldn't be that stupid! I was just kidding! Sorta…" He muttered, an anime sweatdrop on the back of his head.

"I HAVE AN IDEA!" I said, getting up and running for the door.

I knocked on it several times.

The manager and his assistant came walking from behind a corner.

"Yes?" The manager asked, leaning forward, expecting me to do something stupid.

"C-Can you let us out to light some… fireworks? It's the 4th of July and… We're really bored." I said, feeling everyone staring at me.

"No." The manager said instantly.

"W-well, can you l-light the fireworks?" I asked, giving my kitten eyes.

"No." He said instantly once again.

I looked back before decided to pull the dirtiest trick I could.

"P-please?" I asked, trying to work up some fake tears.

"No!" The manager said, starting to get annoyed.

"A-Alright… I-I'm sorry… for b-bothering you…" I said, letting my fake tears fall, dropping my hands to my sides and looking off in a random direction in a fake attempt to hide them.

"Oh, hold on now… No need to cry…" The manager said, his expression softening.

"N-No, I'm fine…" I said, waving him off and wiping some of my tears away.

He thought it over for a minute, and then he came to his decision.

"Oh, alright." He said.

A few people ran and got some fireworks from the display and the manager opened the door and took them.

"You okay?" Konan asked, ruffling my hair.

"Yeah. I had to stab myself with my nails a few times, but it worked." I said, wiping up the rest of the tears.

For the next hour or so, we watched fireworks.

Happy 4th of July.

* * *

Did you like our 4th of July special? REVIEW! OR WE'LL PUT YOU AT THE BOTTOM OF A DOG PILE, UNDER A BUNCH OF HOT GUYS OR GIRLS! Again, I guess you would like that though... ;)


	30. Chapter 30: The creature encounter

Ello! I hope you guys like this one because IT TOOK ME 4 EVER 2 WRITE IT. My keyboard is being difficult...

I don't own NARUTO or WALMART. You should know that by now.

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Kimiko's POV

After the fireworks, we all realized how hungry we were. The lights came back on, but they were always blinking, so we tried to stick by someone else.

When we got to the food section, we tried to grab something, but…

We couldn't. There was a CHAKRA FORCEFIELD around the freaking food!

It was torture because EVERY FREAKING FOOD SORCE was blocked. I myself was quite hungry, which is a rarity in itself for me.

So, I decided to do something.

I walked up to a chakra force field, and put my hands on it. I pumped in all my chakra and it counter acted the force field's frequency, causing a hole large enough for me to get through momentarily, which gave me the chance to climb in.

Now, you would think this was a pretty useless move, but you're wrong.

You see, there was a flaw in the force field, and it allowed me to transport things OUT, but nothing could get IN, so all I had to do was hand everyone what they wanted, and recover my chakra so I could do it to the next few food aisles, just because I wanted to steal food.

I got high praise from everyone while they were ordering, but it was quite embarrassing for the people who didn't know my name. Personally, I didn't really care.

I wasn't hungry for the particular aisle I picked, so I went to the aisle with all the snack cakes and cookies. I pulled out some inner chakra (Uzumaki style, of coarse), and I made a hole large enough for me to crawl through.

I ate my cookies and a snack cake or two. I stuffed a package of cookies into my Akatsuki cloak for later.

I got thirsty, so I went to get a power aide outta my bag. I made the fatal mistake of going alone.

The power went out, and I was left alone, standing in the darkness. I squealed and stood in the darkness, half expecting something to grab me from behind and drag me somewhere. I kept my eyes closed, and I told myself over and over again that the lights would come back on. I stood there for an agonizing minute or two before realizing I was gonna have to take matters into my own hands.

I stumbled around until I made it up front, where there was a little light. I found my bag and I got out my night vision goggles, since I had deemed flash lights unreliable.

I was about to put them on, when something moved out of the corner of my eye.

I automatically froze.

I slowly looked up

STRAIGHT AT THE DARKNESS.

I lost my nerve and pushed myself against the door, trying not to start crying or something else embarrassing.

That hunch I had about why this challenge would be hard became a defendant possibility.

I slowly put on my night vision goggles, hoping against hope I had seen nothing.

I saw something move.

I'm pretty sure at that moment, something in me snapped, and I got up.

I slowly started to inch forward, feeling a severe temperature drop.

Okay, it was the most probable possibility.

I saw something move again.

I stopped breathing, just so it wouldn't hear me.

My heart was beating so loudly I was scared someone or something would hear it.

What ever it was looked right at me. I snapped.

My arms dropped to my side, and the goggles dropped, as I had to hold them up. I had been meaning to adjust them, but I couldn't get around to it.

I froze, staring into the dark abyss. I knew it was coming for me, and I gave up at that moment.

But something in me didn't wanna give up just yet.

Before I even realized what was happening, I was running.

Where, I didn't know.

But I was running. No, it wasn't even running. It was sprinting.

I tripped over something, and I was on the floor.

Yet, whatever it was inside me still didn't give up.

I crawled as fast as I could.

I heard whatever it was directly behind me, and getting closer.

I let out a squeal of alarm and I was suddenly scrambling forward, not even giving a second thought to the fact that I couldn't see where I was going.

I swerved into a random aisle, screaming of coarse, and the next thing I knew, I was lying in a messy heap on the floor in front of my beloved idiots.

"Oh man, am I glad to see you guys…" I said, smiling weakly from my place on the floor, too weak to move properly.

"Where'd you go? We thought you were in another aisle." Leader-Sama said, leaning forward and giving me a suspicious look.

"I'm freakin' being chased by kami knows what. I went to the front to get a power aide from my bag and the lights went out, so I freaked out and I somehow made it to the front, and I got the power aide and I got my night vision goggles, and I put them on and I was gonna come back but I saw something so I freaked out again then I started coming back against my better judgment and what ever it is looked at me and I snapped and I ran and I fell over so I scrambled and I eventually made it here and now I'm telling you what happened so now you know what happened and I'm about to have a freaking panic attack so if I faint suddenly then it's because I had a panic attack." I said quickly, trying to catch my breath at the end.

Everyone looked at me in confusion and utter incomprehension.

We suddenly heard something coming.

I jumped forward and turned off the little lamp they were using as light. I then pushed myself against the aisle wall, where everyone else was sitting.

"What the f-"Hidan started quietly. I covered his mouth with my hand and he got the idea. He pushed my hand off his mouth and we stayed absolutely silent.

I could've sworn I heard everyone's heart beats when something dark appeared right outside the aisle. It was already pitch black, but this was DARKER THAN BLACK. It was only about 2 or 3 feet high, and it made the most freaking scary noises I ever heard. I knew it couldn't see us, and I hoped it would stay that way.

We watched as it slowly disappeared down a separate aisle.

By that time, I was almost certain that I was crying.

"What the freaking hell was that?"Hidan asked in a quiet whisper.

"That was the thing that chased me." I said, gripping Hidan's arm and staring blankly at the spot where the thing once stood.

"We're in trouble." I said, coming to the realization no one wanted to accept.

Giving up became a definite option at that moment.

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How was that? REVIEW PLZ! OR THE THING WILL COME AND STARE AT YOU!


	31. Chapter 31: The exhabition fight

Chello! I wrote 2 IN ONE DAY! See, even though my keyboard is being a stupid thing, I wrote you guys another chapter!

I've said before, and I'll say it again. I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR WALMART.

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Pein's POV

I had no idea what that thing was, nor did I want to find out.

"What are we gonna do now? We can't last too long with that thing roaming around in the dark." Konan said distantly, hugging my arm.

Kimiko was using her night vision goggles to keep a look out in case that thing came back.

She gasped and crawled backwards, nearly bumping into Deidara and Hidan.

"Its back." She whispered, staring at the spot I assumed we would see it.

It crawled past us again, staring right at us, yet not seeing us.

Kimiko couldn't take off the goggles in fear of the creature seeing her movement, so she was forced to stare at it.

It made a disgusting and disturbing noise before crawling away.

After a minute or so, we finally started moving.

Except Kimiko.

"What did it look like?" Konan asked, leaning forwards and staring at Kimiko curiously.

Kimiko shook her head, closing her eyes, trying to forget what she saw.

"Let's put it this way. I'm not going to sleep unless there are knives strapped to my hands and a holy bible next to my bed." Kimiko said, crawling forward to keep a look out again.

"We should try to get to the others. Follow me." Kimiko said after making sure the coast was clear.

She got up and unsteadily walked down the aisle until we were at the end, where there was a line of freezer doors. She peered down both ways and disappeared in the aisle next to us.

A second or so later, she gave us the okay to follow her. We went collecting various groups until everyone was packed into one aisle.

We explained what was going on, only to be laughed at.

"It's coming, it's coming! Turn off the light." Kimiko said, starting to back away from the entrance to the aisle.

"No way am I listening to a little girl." A large man said, crossing his arms and smiling smugly.

Kimiko turned to him and without hesitation, kicked him in his manhood. He dropped to his knees and doubled over in pain.

"I said, TURN OFF THE FREAKING LIGHT." Kimiko said, crouching down and glaring at him. He nodded and turned off the light. She crawled to one side of the aisle and looked away from the entrance, not wanting to look at what ever was coming.

All doubt went away when everyone else saw what was now standing at the entrance to the aisle.

It stared at us, yet it still didn't see us. After a few agonizing moments, it walked away.

After the coast was clear, someone turned on the tiny light we had.

"Now the next time I tell you to do something, DO IT." Kimiko said, picking up the still doubled over man's head by his hair so they could make eye contact.

He nodded obediently.

She dropped his head and peered out of the aisle.

"Clear." She said, looking back at us.

"What the freak was that?" A boy about Kimiko's age asked, his eyes still wide in shock.

"That's what I was gonna suggest, Leader-Sama. That thing is probably the catch to this challenge." Kimiko said, taking her night vision goggles off and brushing her hair back a little, her thoughts most likely racing.

Suddenly, something grabbed Kimiko's ankle. Her eyes grew wide in shock and fear, and she barely had time to scream as she was pulled to ground and dragged away. She was clawing and grappling, trying to grab onto something to keep her in view just a little longer.

"HELP ME!" She screamed before disappearing into the darkness, still clawing for something to grab onto.

We all sat there, absolutely speechless.

"Damnit! That's the 3rd time this month." Hidan muttered, staring at the spot where she was dragged off.

"Look! She dropped her night vision goggles! How's she gonna find her way back?" A little girl about Kimiko's age asked, picking them up.

"If that thing didn't kill her already…" An older boy said, rolling his eyes skeptically.

The little girl was suddenly in front of him, and she slapped him so hard he fell over.

"SHUT UP TAMAKI!"She screamed, looking down at his figure on the floor.

"How do we find her? She's not gonna make it on another miracle. As you know, she's not the luckiest kid on the planet…" Kakuzu said, rolling his eyes.

Suddenly, we heard an unearthly scream of pain.

Kimiko's POV

I felt something grip my ankle and I barely even had time to scream as I hit the floor and was dragged away. I screamed and tried to grab something just to see the light a little longer.

It dragged me away and the only thing I could do was scream and try to grab something.

Eventually, there was nothing to grab. I was in the middle of those big aisles that lead to the tinier ones. I tried kicking whatever it was, but that didn't work.

After a few agonizing minutes, he stopped at the back of the store, where I hoped he would leave me.

Worse, he wanted to kill me. Not for food, just because he could.

I felt him bite me, and it was hard.

I pulled a kunai out of my pocket and took a wild stab at it.

I felt blood splatter everywhere and it let out the most unearthly scream of pain ever.

I smiled for my triumph, and my instincts kicked in. I freed my leg from its grasp and I ran. I smashed into things and knocked things over, trying with every fiber of my being to get away.

I tripped and stumbled over a lot of stuff, but I never looked back nor did I slow down. I saw that tiny light we were using and I dashed faster.

I stumbled and fell over. I thought I could hear the creature coming behind me. I used my last energy reserves to scramble forward. I threw myself into the aisle and I laid there on the floor, trying to catch my breath.

"Kimiko!" Everyone yelled in surprise. I was crying, but that didn't really matter because at that moment, the thing appeared at the entrance to the aisle and before anyone could even catch a glimpse of it, I threw myself upwards and repeatedly stabbed it.

It screeched and tried to run, but my kunai was caught in its back and it dragged me with it.

It started scratching, biting, kicking, and hissing. I got banged up pretty bad, but I kept kicking, stabbing, hitting, punching, biting, fighting.

"DIEEEE! DIEI SAY! I SAID DIE, DAMNIT!" I yelled, stabbing it harder.

After a little longer, it limped away, barely able to move. I cautiously turned and got looks of utter surprise from everyone.

"What?" I asked, tilting my head innocently.

"THAT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!" Everyone yelled.

"I KNOW!" I yelled in the same tone.

"It just goes to show how I almost never lose my cool…" I said, beaming a little.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed behind me.

I screamed and punched Tobi out of reflex before trying to run, but slipping in the puddle of blood around me and falling over on my stomach.

"OWIE!" I yelled, making no attempt to get up.

I still have a lot to learn…

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Review? C'mon, I wrote another chappie just for you guys! REVIEW OR I'LL SEND TOBI TO SCARE YOU SO YOU CAN FALL OVER! BWAHAHAHAHA!


	32. Chapter 32: Rounds 1, 2 and a spider

Ello my readers! I got up early for once! This chappie will answer your questions about what the creatures actually are, so hurry up and read!

I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR WALMART!

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Kimiko's POV

I was in too much pain to stand up, so I crawled into the aisle and lay down on the floor, where it finally hit me.

What hit me, you ask?

The fact I was kidnapped, chased, and maimed, but I still had to save these idiots. I did something heroic! But then again, I wasn't thinking. I never come to my senses until it's too late to turn back.

Uh-oh…

'Maybe I'm turning into that Uzamaki kid…' I thought, coming to the scary realization.

I was snapped away from my dark thoughts when Miyu tackled me with a hug.

"OMJ that was so cool!" She yelled, still hugging me.

'She says OMJ too?' I thought happily.

"I know, I just wish I could stop falling over every freakin' time I have a moment!" I said, hugging back a little.

"What are we gonna do when it comes back?" A boy I knew to be Tamaki asked, scratching his head worriedly.

"I was hoping YOU guys would take care of that." I said, raising my head slightly off the ground.

"EH?" he asked, taken a back by my comment.

"DID YOU SEE WHAT JUST FREAKING HAPPENED TO ME? I WAS DRAGGED OFF INTO THE DARK ABYSS KNOWN AS INNER WALMART, I WAS CHASED ALL THE WAY BACK HERE, AND I STILL FREAKING SAVED YOUR LIVES! DO YOU THINK I'M GONNA BE HERE FOREVER AT THIS RATE?" I yelled, sitting up.

We suddenly heard another unearthly scream.

"Damnit… It's back for round 2…" I said, gripping my kunai.

It ran passed our aisle, suddenly faster than before.

"Crap… It can regenerate…" I muttered, standing up. I grabbed Tamaki's hand and peered out of the aisle.

"Wha?" He asked, taken by surprise with my sudden actions.

"If I'm going down, you're coming with me. Okay? Okay." I said, looking back at him before peering out again.

"Fine…" He said, not so secretly enjoying my hand clasping his.

Pein's POV

I wanted to slap Tamaki at that moment, but before I could even make any movements towards him, Kimiko gasped.

"CRAP IT HAS FRIENDS!" She yelled, gripping her kunai and preparing to run.

"Eh?" We all asked in horror.

But before she had time to repeat herself, something wrapped around her ankle.

She screamed as she hit the ground, starting to disappear behind the aisle.

She let go of Tamaki's hand, most likely against her better judgment, and only one word escaped her mouth before she was dragged back into the darkness.

"RUN."

We hesitated, not wanting to leave her.

But we ran anyway.

She disappeared into the next aisle and the only thing we heard after a few seconds was the sound of stabbing.

Then, those unearthly screams.

Blood flew EVERYWHERE.

It splattered all over us and we could only stand and listen to whatever was happening in the next aisle.

"DIEEE YOU STUPID THINGS! DIEEE! I SAID DIE! WHY WON'T YOU DIE, DAMNIT! GAAAHHH!" She screamed. Everyone in the Akatsuki had such a flashback to the couch incident.

Suddenly, there was a puff of dust, and more stabbing. This time, more loudly, more bone chilling. The things screamed even louder, and after several moments, all was quiet.

POOF

Several were standing in front of us.

No one could even think about reacting because it happened too fast.

Kimiko launched herself at the creatures, and for a split second, we saw what they were.

I could see why she didn't want to look at them.

She stabbed away with a big malicious smile on her face.

Soon, not one creature was moving.

She stood up and looked at us.

"Am I gonna have to save you girls EVERY FREAKING TIME?" She asked, staggering a little.

We all stared at her, then at the creatures.

What did they look like, you ask?

They had a human-like heads, deep holes for eyes, pig snouts for noses, ugly baby-like teeth, ram horns; sheep like-bodies, gross paw-like hands, a sheep like body, and their back feet were hooves (1).

It was basically a biblical disaster.

"Eh?" she asked, looking somehow innocent, even with all the blood splattered across her pale face.

"HOW THE FREAKING HELL ARE YOU ALIVE?" Everyone who wasn't in the Akatsuki yelled, giving her the look of utter confusion, an increasingly common emotion for us nowadays.

She tilted her head and got the same look of confusion, like she didn't understand.

"I don't know." She answered, her eyes already looking distant.

Suddenly, she looked down, almost like she sensed something.

Her eyes grew wide in horror and she jumped backwards, scrambling into the next aisle screaming,

"EWWW EWWW EWWW!"

"Wha?" We all asked.

"ON THE FLOOR! LOOK ON THE FLOOR!" She screamed from the next aisle.

We all looked down.

There was a very big spider.

"KILL IT! KILL IT!" She screamed, suddenly on top of the aisle divider, looking down at it.

She stared at it for a moment or two, and then she calmed down and jumped off the divider.

She walked over to it, and very calmly, very carefully,

SHE PICKED IT UP!

It crawled around on her blood splattered hand and she suppressed a laugh, watching the delicate thing crawl across her skin.

We all looked at her in utter confusion.

She noticed this and sighed.

"Okay, come look at what kind it is." She said, gesturing for us to come over with her free hand, not even looking at us anymore.

We cautiously approached and looked at it.

"What? It's just a big spider." Hidan said, shrugging.

"No way! That's a WHITE WIDOW! It's really rare! It's so rare it's almost unheard of." A boy Kimiko's age said, looking at it in awe.

"I take it you've seen one before?" Kimiko asked, tilting her head and looking at him.

"Kinda. Only pictures. I've never actually seen one in real life." He said, sounding rather disappointed.

"Then I better keep it if it's THIS rare…" She said, suddenly deep in thought.

Her eyes lit up and she looked at him.

"Hold it." She said, her voice surprisingly gentle and distant.

He looked at her as if she was crazy, but he let it crawl on him. He flinched a little, but he didn't let it show.

Kimiko reached into her cloak pocket and pulled out a bottle of PowerAde. It was blue and half gone, so she pulled out 2 tiny pills from another pocket and put them in her mouth (2). She then downed the PowerAde until it was empty.

When it was gone, she let the spider crawl in, and she closed the lid.

"Got it..." She said, tapping the lid gently.

"You're crazy, you know that?" Itachi said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Yup." She said, giggling and giving Itachi a light hug.

Yeah, she is. But we all still love her, don't we?

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(1): I didn't do too much research on Japanese biblical demons, so I used the one commonly seen in america.

(2): In case you guys don't remember, Kimiko has anemia! Those were her anemia pills.

Review PLZ! OR ELSE THE BIBLICALLY INCORRECT CREATURES WILL COME TO GET YOU!


	33. Chapter 33: The ghost and the locket

Hi my readers! I'mthinking about making another story, but I need to clear some space on my computer first. I'll give you guys the details once I pull myself together.

NARUTO DON'T BELONG TO ME.

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Kimiko's POV

I know I'm crazy, and I accepted that completely. I personally thought I was insane, but if they see me as just crazy, that's okay too. I was already a little jacked up BEFORE meeting these guys, and now, I think they're idiocy has rubbed off on me.

"What are we gonna call these things? I mean, just for the record." I said, kicking one of the many mangled creatures strewn across the bloody floor.

"Let's just call them biblical disasters…" Tamaki said, poking one.

"Might as well…" I muttered, trying to pick on up by its horns.

"Man, these things are FAT." I said, barely able to lift it 2 inches off the ground.

"What if these things aren't the only reason this was supposed to be challenging…?" Leader-Sama asked under his breath, inspecting one of the bodies.

We heard a moan. Not made by any of us.

"You just had to say, 'what if', didn't you?" I said, elbowing him quite hard.

"Too bad this place doesn't sell holy water…" A boy known as Takeo said, nudging his brother jokingly, his voice still lined with slight fear.

"I have a stupid idea." I said in fake enthusiasm, pulling my night vision goggles out of my pocket and walking out of the aisle, probably against my better judgment.

I stood there, looking around.

'Why am I suddenly SO stupid?' I asked myself, questioning my actions.

I felt something brush against my back.

I freaked out and froze automatically.

God, even my instincts are changing…

"You're not stupid, just crazy." Said something behind me.

"Eh?" I asked, spinning around.

I was met with a faint outline of a figure.

"O…M…J…" I said slowly.

"Scream and I kill you." It said in a Yankee accent.

I nodded obediently.

"Don't kill me. I got pets." I said, raising my hands up like I was getting robbed.

"I'm stuck here and there's only one way out for me." Said the thing I came to now as a ghost.

"Have Ichigo put his sword on your head, it's quicker." I said, backing away a little.

"Quiet or I kill you." It said, raising its hand as if preparing to hit me.

My old instincts kicked back in.

I flinched like I did on a daily basis throughout my childhood.

"I was like you. I didn't have a good life. You actually made it, though." It said, dropping the hand that was preparing to strike me.

"Well can we hurry this up, 'cause I'm close to having one of those panic attacks." I said, rubbing a temple.

"Fine. Go to the west end of the food section and in the back of freezer number 7-"it said before I stopped it mid sentence.

"Hold on, hold on. I'm not gonna find a body back there, am I?" I asked, raising my hands to get the ghost to stop talking.

"No. Any way, look in the back of freezer number 7 and there'll be a locket behind a loose panel. Pull that out and take it home with you. Then I'll be free of this place." It said, looking around warily at the still-dark Walmart.

"Do I gotta do this alone or can I take someone with me?" I asked, ruining the divine atmosphere.

"Alone." It said, crossing its arms.

I sighed and started heading for the west end of the store.

When I got there, I immediately saw the wall lined with freezers. I immediately found freezer number 7 and I opened it.

Sure enough, there was a loose panel, which is probably why there were melted popsicle stains all over the bottom of it.

I reached inside and I felt something cold and metallic.

I pulled it out and I looked at it.

It was the most beautiful necklace I'd ever seen. It was made out of pure sterling silver and it had a tiny cloud shaped locket attached to it, also made out of pure silver. There was a tiny red ruby in the center of it and I couldn't help but open the locket because that's what any normal person would do.

Inside was a chunk of cotton.

"Being nosy much?" the voice asked, appearing behind me.

"Gah!" I jumped, dropping the locket on the floor.

"Don't do that!" I said, picking it up.

"Why is there a piece of cotton in here?" I asked, staring at the tiny wad of white sitting inside the silver locket.

"I came from the village hidden in the clouds. It reminds me of home." It said, staring at the wad of cotton.

"Oh. Well, can I go back now?" I asked, pointing in the direction of everyone else.

"Yeah. Put the locket on. I don't want you to lose it." The ghost said, pointing to my neck.

"M'kay." I said, putting it on.

I tucked it under my shirt and started to walk.

I decided to scare everyone, so I went to the back of the aisle and I walked up behind them, since they were all facing towards the front of the aisle.

"Boo." I said quietly behind them.

"AAAAHHHH!" everyone either screamed or jumped, trying to figure out what just happened.

"You guys are such girls…" I said, shaking my head and smiling.

"Where the hell were you?" Leader-Sama asked, shaking me by the shoulders.

"I was doin' stuff. What were YOU doing?" I said smoothly, leaning slightly to my left, trying to act innocent.

"We were waiting for you. WHAT WERE YOU DOING?" He asked, looking at me suspiciously.

"Can we change the subject? I have to go wee, and I'm scared to go alone." I said, jumping up and down a few times.

"You just killed demonic monsters, held a poisonous spider, went off on your own doing kami knows what, and you're too scared to go bathroom by yourself?" asked Miyu, a confused look on her face.

"I still get kid's menus at restaurants. I can only do so much on my own." I said, crossing my arms. I accidently dropped my night vision goggles and I bent down to pick them up, which caused my new necklace to come loose from under my shirt. It twinkled in the low lamp light and everyone saw it.

"What with the necklace, un?" Deidara asked, crossing his arms.

"Eh?" I asked, looking up at him.

"That necklace. What's with that, hm?" he asked.

"We will revisit that discussion after I'm done going wee." I said, walking out of the aisle, dragging Konan with me.

When we got to the bathroom, I gave Konan the night vision goggles to hold while I went.

I probably should've gave them to her once I was inside the stall, because I face planted with the wall.

Konan and I laughed hysterically for the next seven seconds or so.

I finally found my way into the stall and I did my thing.

"So what's with the necklace?" Konan asked curiously while I stumbled around, searching for the sink.

"Skip it. I only wanna explain it once." I said, slamming into the sink.

"Watch out for the sink." Konan said, smiling jokingly.

"Be quiet, Konan!" I said, giggling hysterically.

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REVIEW PLEASE! I ENJOY REVIEWS SOOO MUCH! MAYBE I''LL TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT MY NEW STORY IF YOU DO!


	34. Chapter 34: A chapter with a stupid name

Hiyo! I can clearly sense that you guys wanna know what the new story is gonna be about, but I'm evil, so it's a surprise!

I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

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Kimiko's POV

After running into the sink, I washed my hands and we made our way back to the aisle where everyone was waiting.

I kept bumping into things; even though I had the night vision goggles on. But I bump into things on a daily basis, so I didn't think much of it.

When we got back, I was pretty sure that everyone had forgotten about the necklace thing, but I was sadly mistaken.

"Okay, what's up with the necklace?" Sasori asked, leaning forward, curiously staring at the exposed necklace.

"I… found it…" I said slowly, looking off to the side nervously.

"Where?" he asked, now more interested.

"A place." I replied, still trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

"What place?" he asked, leaning forward more.

"On… the… floor…?" I said slowly, trying to sound convincing and failing horribly.

"Where on the floor?" he asked, getting suspicious.

"… A few aisles… down…" I said, starting to mess around with the objects on the shelf behind me mindlessly.

They seemed satisfied with my answer, and the spotlight was off me.

Over the next few hours, the only thing we did was steal more stuff.

Hanako and Miyu were more concerned with make up and all that other girly stuff.

I went around with the boys and stole food, video games, and other boyish stuff.

I eventually learned the names of all the boys I had been hanging out with.

Tamaki, Takeo, Takehiko, Makoto, Kazuki, Miki, Akihiko, Hiroki, and Kenji. I can somehow remember them all and yet I can't even remember my own cell phone number.

But I'm a girl, so naturally, I met up with Miyu and Hanako and we got a little girly stuff.

Laugh all you want, I'm a girl and I have needs.

At six that morning, we quickly packed up all the stuff we stole and the manager let us out.

"FREEDOM!" I yelled, hugging a nearby tree.

"Well, since none of you backed out, we had to change the rules a little. We will have you guys go back in and exterminate the biblical disasters." The manager said, expecting us to sigh heavily.

"They're gone." Leader-Sama said, an anime sweatdrop on the back of his head.

"Oh really? Who killed 'em?" The manager asked, seeming a little embarrassed.

Everyone pointed at me.

"Oh, well… You have to get rid of the ghost." He said, thinking quickly.

"I took him out." I said, adjusting the bag slung over my back.

"Really? Then… There's nothing else we can do… I guess the Akatsuki are the winners then." The manager said, handing me 2 checks.

"…Wait so… WE WON?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Yeah, pretty much. You can all go home now. We'll call you later to ask which band you choose to meet." He said, looking at everyone.

Everyone in the Akatsuki, including me, freaked out.

I got a few pats on the back and a few hugs, which somehow reminded Miyu that we needed to exchange numbers. Hanako gave us her number and we gave her ours. I was half hoping the boys were listening.

Kakuzu fainted when I let him hold the checks. He came to and tried holding the checks again, only to faint once more. It went on like this until he was out for a while.

"Okay… No one let him hold the checks… We don't want him to get brain damage…" I said while looking down at the unconscious Kakuzu on the ground, stuffing the checks into my hidden Akatsuki cloak pocket and receiving a death hug from Konan.

"Can we go home now? I'm tired." I said, rubbing my eyes lazily.

"Yeah." Leader-Sama said, ruffling my short black hair.

I got on Deidara's back and we went home, where we went to sleep in random places for the next day or so.

I woke up at 4:30 am the next morning, very groggy and hungry.

I was lying on the floor in the lounge room, curled up in a little ball.

I was stiff, sore, groggy, slow, hungry, weak, and cold. It reminded me of waking up in my childhood home.

I got up and took a bath because I felt dirty and I was sore, so I just wanted to sit.

When I was done, about 45 minutes later, I got out and went to see what everyone else was doing.

I found Deidara lying on a couch in the lounge room.

Sasori was on the floor in his room.

Kakuzu was passed out at his desk, the checks in his hand.

Hidan was asleep on the floor in his bathroom.

Konan and Leader-Sama were asleep on Konan's bedroom floor, hugging.

Itachi was the only one who was actually on his bed.

Kisame was lying on the floor in the middle of a random hallway.

Zetsu and Zetsu were asleep in a giant flower pot.

Tobi was asleep on the ceiling in his room.

Ghost and Shadow somehow let Rainy and Sunny in the hideout and they were all asleep on my bed.

I went into the kitchen and had breakfast. I made myself some eggs and toast, along with some rice. The eggs turned out perfect, the toast was easy, and the rice was incredibly easy. After I was done eating, I made breakfast for everyone else. It was made up of French toast, normal toast, eggs, rice, and waffles.

They turned out perfect, so I decided to get everyone up so they could come and eat while everything was still hot.

Deidara was easy. I shook him a few times and he was up.

With Sasori, I poked his head 3 times and he woke up.

All I had to do with Kakuzu was take the checks away.

With Hidan, I had to slap him.

With Itachi, I said his name a few times while shaking him.

I dumped cold water on Kisame and told him Wakumi did it.

I let Konan and Leader-Sama sleep.

I went into Tobi's room and screamed his name. He fell off the ceiling and landed on me.

After everyone was in the kitchen, the first thing they did was eat. Everyone was too lazy to eat in the dining room. They had no idea I could cook that good, and I was quite modest with the compliments, which is actually normal for me.

"Where's Konan and Leader-Sama?" Kisame asked, taking a bite of waffle.

"In Konan's room." I said from on top of the island.

Everyone looked at me.

"EH?" Kisame asked, some masticated waffle escaping his mouth.

"If you don't believe me, you can go look." I said, taking a quick bite of Hidan's eggs.

Just then, Konan and Leader-Sama came in.

"Oh, I you guys are already eating." Konan said, seeing that everyone wither had a plate in their hands or a plate sitting in front of them.

"Well, SOMEONE had to cook and I was the first one up." I said, perching myself on top of a counter.

"Sleep well?" I asked, smiling.

"Yeah." Konan replied, smiling at Pein-Sama.

I was the only one who saw that they were holding hands.

* * *

REVIEW? And I'm kidding. I'll tell you about the new story because I'm not THAT evil.

It's basically a side story to The Kimiko Chronicles. It's a non Uchiha massacre fic, and it's about Kimiko, The Akatsuki, Itachi, and Sasuke and all their crazy misadventures. Does it sound like a good idea? Please tell me if it is.

REVIEW PLZ!


	35. Chapter 35: Video games and hooking up

Chello my readers! I got some pretty good feed-back on my new story idea, so I'm working on the first chappie right now.

I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

* * *

Pein's POV

I may have fallen asleep with Konan, but we didn't do anything.

"I don't really remember anything that happened once we got home, come to think of it..." I said, scratching the back of my head.

We all nodded in agreement, as no one could remember what happened.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled, popping up next to Kimiko.

She screamed and fell backwards right off the island.

THUD

"DAMNIT TOBI!" She yelled from the floor.

"Tobi doesn't think Kiki-san should be cussing at Tobi like that." Tobi said, looking down at the spot she was most likely lying.

"Shut up, Tobi." Kimiko said, sighing heavily.

"Okay, Kiki-san." Tobi said, his innocent 'Tobi is a good boy' voice kicking in.

After breakfast, we all went our separate ways, as we all had things to do.

Konan and I got done early, so we decided to do the dishes. As we were walking by the lounge room, we found Kimiko and Hidan sitting in front of the TV.

That Orbit commercial came on where people see the stylish new packs.

Konan knew what was coming, so she ran in and covered Kimiko's mouth.

"Hidan! Change the channel please." Konan said, slapping Hidan upside the head with her free hand.

He rolled his eyes, but obeyed Konan and changed the channel.

Konan let go of Kimiko and we went into the kitchen to do dishes.

Kimiko's POV

I decided to play wii, so I took the console from the living room and hooked it up to the TV in my room, as I felt more comfortable playing it in the comfort of my own room.

After I had turned it on, I suddenly remembered that there were all kinds of video games I had stolen from Walmart that I could play.

One of them being 'Silent Hill: Shattered Dreams'.

I already played most of the Silent Hill video games on my PS2 and XBOX 360, but I still needed to play Silent Hill: Shattered Dreams.

I also stole some other games, including,

Super Mario Galaxy 2

Call of Duty World at War

Conduit

House of the Dead 2 and 3

Alone in the Dark

I put in Silent Hill: Shattered Dreams and I began to play.

I have the habit of talking to myself while playing intensive video games, so I would occasionally squeal or cuss while being attacked or seeing something scary.

I left my door cracked open slightly out of habit.

Itachi and Hidan happened to be walking by just when I started the game.

I guess they heard the freaky music or something, but whatever it was, they decided to look in my room to see what it was.

"What are you doing?" Itachi asked, his head poking into my room.

"Playing wii." I replied, not even looking up from the screen, as it was about to start.

"Specifics, kid." Itachi said, pushing the door open a little more.

"Silent Hill: Shattered Dreams." I said, glancing up at him.

"No way. Can we try it?" Itachi asked, walking in and sitting down next to me, followed by Hidan.

"Sure, whatever." I said, not even turning away from the screen.

We took turns playing for an hour or two. Deidara and Sasori came in and watched, but we got kinda bored so we decided to play another one.

"I have some more new ones, if you guys wanna check 'em out." I said, taking Silent Hill out of the wii.

"Are they good?" Itachi asked.

"Close enough."

"Alright, show me." He said, sitting up a little.

"M'kay, I have Super Mario Galaxy 2, Call of Duty World at War, Conduit, House of the Dead 2 AND 3, and Alone in the Dark. I think I have Resident Evil 4. I'll try to look for it." I said, laying out the games out on the floor.

"Wait, House of the Dead 2 AND 3?" Itachi asked, grabbing the pack from my hands.

"Yeah. There was only one, and it was hidden in the manager's office. I guess it's rare around here or something…" I said, crossing my arms.

We played House of the Dead 2 for a few hours.

Konan tried to tear us away from the game, but I was able to distract her by telling her that Leader-Sama came by looking for her. She believed me and went to Leader-Sama's office.

We played for another hour or so before finally saved the game and turned it off before going to get lunch. I only got some fruit and a grilled cheese sandwich.

"There you guys are. We couldn't find you any where." Kisame said, piling up his plate.

"We were in Kimiko's room playing video games." Itachi said, taking a bite out of an apple.

"Oh. Well I was being bugged by Tobi the entire time you guys were gone." Kisame said. We all realized his mistake too late.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed.

Luckily, I wasn't holding my plate when Tobi appeared.

I didn't scream this time, I just fell backwards.

"TOBI! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!" I yelled.

"Tobi is sorry, Kiki-chan. Tobi will go now." Tobi said, leaving the room.

"Help me up please." I said, desperately wanting to eat my grilled cheese sandwich.

"Do you need therapy for this or something? You do the SAME FREAKING thing every time Tobi makes one of his special appearances." Sasori said, helping me stand up.

"We might as well seek a physical therapist if I keep falling backwards…" I muttered.

Since we were too lazy to go to my room, we decided to eat in the lounge room so we could watch TV.

We were right in the middle of Family Guy when we heard noise coming from Leader-Sama's office.

What kind of noise?

I'd tell you, but then we'd have to change the rating to M.

'Holy crap!' I mouthed, a shocked expression gracing my face.

Half of me knew it was just a matter of time before this would happen, but it was still somewhat a shocker to me.

Everyone's initial expressions were either shock or surprise.

After 10 seconds, I couldn't control myself any more.

I started laughing. I laughed so hard that I couldn't breathe.

For some odd reason, Deidara and Kakuzu fainted.

That only made me laugh harder.

* * *

REVIEW? I'll try to post the first chapter of that new story as soon as I can.


	36. Chapter 36: An interupted meeting

Hiyo my beloved readers! I'm still working on that new story, but it'll be out soon.

I DON'T OWN NARUTO. AND I FORGOT TO SAY THIS YESTERDAY, BUT I OWN NO VIDEO GAME BRANDS.

* * *

Kimiko's POV

I had no idea why I was laughing. I really didn't. I guess it was just so disturbing that I thought of it as hilarious.

Deidara and Kakuzu, who were now unconscious on the floor, only made me laugh harder. I actually fell on the floor because I was laughing so hard.

"Why the hell are you laughing?" Hidan asked, trying to hold back that smile you just have to smile when someone else is laughing.

"I dunno! IT'S… JUST… SO… DAMN… FUNNY!" I giggled, clutching my stomach. I started to get a cramp, but I was too far in to stop.

After about half an hour of suggestive noise, they stopped, thus reducing my laughs to small giggles.

Deidara and Kakuzu were still unconscious on the floor. Apparently, they couldn't handle the fact that those two finally hooked up. And somehow I was laughing hysterically about it.

Konan came walking in, a smug little look on her face and her short blue hair a little messy. Her clothes were most likely disheveled, but she was wearing her Akatsuki robe, so we couldn't tell if they were.

She wiped the smug off her face and she looked at the two unconscious idiots on the floor, wondering exactly what they were doing there and why they were unconscious.

"What's with them?" She asked, pointing at the two.

"I don't know…" I said, shrugging, a smirk plastered to my face.

"Well, Leader said that we have a meeting to get over with." She said, brushing her bangs out of her eyes.

"Define 'we'. Because there's 'we', for me and you, 'we' for we the people, 'wii', the game console, 'wee', my slang word for urine, and my favorite, 'WEEE!'." I finished by climbing up the wall and staring down at everyone from the ceiling. I used the very last of my chakra that way, but it was for the sake of humanity. Well, mostly my humanity, but whatever…

This received quite a few laughs from everyone, but Konan eventually calmed down enough to give orders.

"Come down, please." She asked, a smile still on her face.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled, appearing directly under me. I had no idea and still have no idea how he is able to do that.

This surprised me completely, and it caused me to scream and lose my concentration, thus causing me to fall.

Luckily, I landed on top of him.

"KIMI-SAN! WHY IS KIMI-SAN ON TOBI?" Tobi asked, face down in the carpet.

"Because Tobi scared Kimi-san, who was hanging out on the ceiling." I said, using his method of talking, which is 3rd person.

"Oh. Well, can Kimi-san get off of Tobi now?" He asked, squirming uncomfortably under me.

"Okay." I said, rolling off of him.

"REVENGE IS MINE!" I said triumphantly, standing up and striking a quick victory pose before turning and tripping over Hidan's foot, causing me to fall into a chair, which caused the chair to tip over.

"OWIES! MY MOMENT IS GONE! IT'S GONE!" I said, my voice muffled by the top of the chair, which I had face planted into.

"Well, we should go get this meeting over with…" Konan eventually deadpanned, dragging my saddened form from the room and towards the meeting room.

I made no attempt to defy her, as it would mean that she would probably make me get up and walk. She dragged me to my seat and I crawled up into it.

"What's this about, Leader-Sama?"I asked.

"Well, I was thinking that-"he was cut off when we heard the phone ring. The nearest phone was in the kitchen, and yet we somehow still heard it.

No one made any moves to get up, so I decided to get it. I seriously didn't want to, but the sound of a phone ringing was quite annoying to me.

I stood up and ran to the kitchen.

I got to the phone and answered it, not thinking to look at the caller ID, which I'd been doing increasingly.

"Hello?" I asked, almost dropping the phone, as I had built up too much momentum and I nearly flipped over the island, which was where the phone was comfortably sitting.

"Hello? Is this Kimiko of the Akatsuki?" Said a rather familiar voice.

"Yes… Yes this is." I said, nodding slightly.

"Oh. Well, I called to ask you what band you would like to meet." The voice said, which I now recognized as the manager of Walmart.

"Oh. Um… I've been thinking about that and… I want…"

* * *

I iz so evil... I guess we'll just have to wait until the next chappie to find out who she wants! (I can't decide on a band...) REVIEW PLZ!


	37. Chapter 37: The meeting continued

HIYO MEH READERS! I know that the chapters are coming later and later, but that's only because I have to work on my new story and I'm waking up at 12:00 in the afternoon.

I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR LIGHTS, OR CALL OF DUTY WORLD AT WAR.

* * *

Kimiko's POV

"I choose… Lights." I said, leaning against a nearby counter.

"Lights? Okay, I'll call you when we get the okay." He replied.

"Alright, bye." I said, hanging up.

Why did I choose Lights, you ask?

Her music describes me almost perfectly. Plus, I really like it.

After several seconds, I went back to the meeting room, where everyone was waiting anxiously.

"Who was it?" Leader-Sama asked instantly upon me entering the room.

"Walmart manager dude." I replied, sitting down in my seat.

"What did he want?"

"He wanted to know which band or singer I wanted to meet." I answered, brushing some of my bangs out of my face.

"Who'd you pick?"

"Someone. You guys wouldn't know her." I said, waving him off.

They tried to think up a comeback, but they got bored with the subject and we focused on the meeting.

"I was just wondering what we should spend the money on. You know, because it's basically just gonna sit there if we don't do anything with it." Leader-Sama said, his head resting on his hands.

"H-hold on, hold on, hold on…" I said, putting up my hands to keep him from talking.

"I think that I should get at least HALF of the ryo, or the dollars." I said, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms.

"WHAT?" everyone yelled, Kakuzu being the loudest.

"I deserve it." I said, shrugging.

"No you don't! You're too young to even begin to understand the concept of having that much money! We should be the ones to get the bigger share because we're older than you!" Kakuzu hollered, an angry look on his face.

"Hey, I'm the one who got you guys the freakin' money, so I should get a bigger share of the funds than any of you." I said, standing up and slamming my hands down on the table.

Kakuzu and everyone else were taken a back by this.

"Look, its only right that I get more because I'm the one who got the money, and I think it's very unprofessional of you guys for not seeing that." I said, settling back into my chair and crossing my arms once again.

"Why is it so important to you?" Leader-Sama asked, his expression returning to mutual.

"I… I never had that much money while I was growing up, so now that I got a chance like this, do you really think I'm gonna let it pass?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck.

"I suppose not." He replied, deep in thought.

"Hey, where's Tobi?" Itachi asked, suddenly realizing Tobi wasn't around.

I quickly realized what he had just said. Before I had a chance to react, Tobi showed up.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi exclaimed, suddenly next to me.

I screamed and fell over backwards.

"WHY, DAMNIT?" I yelled, lying in a painfully familiar position on the floor.

"Kiki-san, why do you always fall on the floor every time Tobi comes?" Tobi asked, leaning down to get a better look at me.

"Because, Tobi scares Kiki-san every time Tobi comes. That's why." I said, still lying on the floor.

"Oh. Does Kiki-san like falling on the floor?" Tobi asked, crouching down next to me.

"No. Kiki-san doesn't like falling on the floor at all." I replied.

"Oh. Then, why does Kiki-san fall on the floor if she doesn't like it?" He asked.

"Because, Tobi scares Kiki-san, which causes her to fall on the floor. So, if Tobi stops scaring Kiki-san, then Kiki-san won't always be falling on the floor, which she does not like doing." I explained, still lying on the floor.

"Okay, Kiki-san. Should Tobi leave now?" Tobi asked.

"Yes. Kiki-san would like that very much." I said, waving him off.

"Okay. Tobi is leaving now." Tobi said before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"I have a problem." I said from the floor.

"Do you think we don't know that?" Sasori replied.

"I know that you know because we all know that I've been doing this ever since I came here. Now you see how I know that you know." I said, almost losing myself in the conversation.

"Do we need to get you a therapist or something for this?" Leader-Sama asked.

"Physical therapist, perhaps. But NO ONE can make me sit on a couch and talk about my problems, AND actually diagnose what's wrong with me, because NO ONE can. That's just the way it is." I said, making a weak attempt at standing.

We finished the meeting with me still on the floor.

Konan had to bribe me with candy to get me to stand up and leave the room.

I had a feeling she and Leader-Sama wanted to… *shiver*… in the meeting room, so I left quickly before they could go into detail.

"What do you think they're doing?" Kisame asked as I entered the lounge room, where everyone else was currently seated.

"DON'T even go there… You should be hearing it through the wall any second…" I said, sitting down on the floor.

After an hour or so of listening to Konan and Leader-Sama make 'magic', we decided to go to my room and play Call of Duty World at War until dinner.

We could still faintly hear Konan and Leader-Sama, but we managed to block it out.

Barely.

* * *

Was it good? Was it bad? TELL ME! I enjoy the construtive criticism and I'm developing a short addiction to rejection, so this is your short window of oppertunity to reject me. But, REVIEW PLZ!


	38. Chapter 38: Kimiko's strange day

HIYO. I know I have not updated, but I have an excuse. I'm going to a camp for the whole weeek, so I might not be able to write too much. Please bare with me.

NARUTO AND LIGHTS AIN'T MINE.

* * *

Kimiko's POV

That night after dinner (which was quite awkward considering the fact that Konan and Leader-Sama were constantly looking at each other), the phone rang.

No one else wanted to get it, so I got up and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Yes, Kimiko? We have good news and bad news. The good news is that we booked Lights for you, the bad news is that only YOU can see her." The manager of Walmart said gingerly.

"Well that won't matter. They don't even know who she is." I said, leaning against the counter.

"Oh, it won't? Alright. Come to the front of Walmart any time before 10:00 pm tomorrow, and you can see her." He said.

"Yeah, okay. Bye." I said before hanging up.

After an hour or so of sitting around in the lounge room, I went to bed.

I didn't fall asleep until about 5 hours later, but I enjoyed the silence while it lasted.

The next morning, I got up at 6:30 am, and I suddenly remembered what would be happening.

I took a shower and got ready.

I was finally done by 10:00 am (and that made me feel extremely girly), so I checked myself over one last time before leaving.

It was quite hard to get past everyone, but I managed to get away.

Pein's POV

Kimiko tried sneaking past us, since we were all perched in the lounge room, but Tobi came along and scared her, which caused her to scream and fall over backwards.

"Tobi, remember our talk?" She asked, picking herself up.

She was wearing a dark gray micro mini skirt with black leg warmers and some black suede shoes, along with a black tank top and a dark gray short sleeve cardigan. I barely noticed, but she had a dark gray handbag that went on almost like a sash, the actual bag lazily resting on her left hip. If anything, it was more of an artistry style bag. She also had a quick swipe of lip gloss on and some gray and black eye shadow. She even had a black barrette, which hung slightly more over the left side of her head.

"Where are you going dressed like that?" Konan asked, her maternal instincts kicking in.

"Umm… I'm going to meet the singer I requested, now goodbye." She said, turning and disappearing down the hall.

Konan thought about stopping her, but she sat down.

After a few minutes, Konan whipped out her cell phone and called Kimiko.

"Kimiko? Where are you at?"

…

"Oh really? It feels like you left an hour ago…"

…

"Call me when you get there."

…

"Fine, you can text too."

…

"Alright, bye."

With that, she hung up and put the phone in her pocket.

"What are you so worried about, Konan? It's not like anything bad could happen while she's out of the house. It might do her some good to be around people besides us. In case you haven't noticed, you guys aren't exactly… 'Sane'." I said, shrugging.

"Oh what and you're not insane?" Konan asked, secretly squeezing my hand.

"Yes, that's right. I am the sanest person in the Akatsuki, so deal with it." I said, crossing my arms.

"What ever…" Konan said, hugging my arm.

Kimiko's POV

As I was walking out the front door onto the patio deck, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Kimiko? Where are you at?" Konan asked.

"I just walked out onto the patio deck, Konan."

"Oh really? It feels like you left an hour ago…"

"I'm heading to the forest trail, so I'm gonna lose you pretty soon. Can't I just text you or something?" I asked, starting down the stairs of the patio.

"Fine, you can text too."

"Well, I better go now. Bye."

"Alright, bye."

We both hung up.

I sighed and started on my way.

About halfway to town, it suddenly hit me that I was about to meet one of my favorite singers, so I started freaking out and squealing.

After about 20 minutes of being a stupid, crazed fan, I regained my composure and was on my way once again.

Once I got to Walmart, I was met by the manager.

"Hello, Kimiko. If you would just go around back, you'll see a big RV trailer. Just go inside and you can meet her." He said, motioning for me to walk behind the building.

I nodded at his instructions and went around.

I saw an RV trailor hidden by some trees.

Clever…

I walked up to the trailer and knocked on the door lightly.

It opened, and I stepped inside.

I was greeted by the driver, along with Lights.

"Hi Lights…" I said, feeling my inner fangirl start to show.

"Hey, you must be Kimiko. I'm Lights, but I think you know that…" She said before laughing.

I laughed, which came out of nowhere.

"What's you're favorite song?" She asked as we sat down on a soft couch.

"I like ALL you're songs, but… Saviour is my favorite at the moment, even though I can only remember half the lyrics…" I said, scratching the back of my head.

"Oh… Do you think you could sing the half you know, 'cause I can't remember it too much, either." She said, brushing some hair behind her ear.

"A-Are you sure? My singing voice isn't too good…" I said modestly.

"C'mon, please? Just sing as much as you know." She said, leaning closer to me.

"Alright…" I said, shrugging, smiling shyly.

I cleared my throat a little and the lyrics just came.

_The night is deafening _

_when the silence is listening_

_and I'm down on my knees_

_and I know that something is missing_

_because the back of my mind is holding things I'm relying in_

_but I choose to ignore it because I'm always denying them_

_I'm a bit of manic when it's not as I plan it_

'_cause I start losing my head then I get up in a panic_

_Remember, when we were kids and always knew when to quit it_

_Are we denying a crisis or are we scared of admitting it?_

_I don't want to know_

_I just wanna run to you_

_And break off these chains_

_And throw them away_

_I just wanna be so much_

_And shake off the dust_

_That turn to rust_

_Sooner than later, I'll need a savior_

_I need a savior_

_It will never change_

_if you want it to stay the same_

_I really hate it_

_But I know it's hard to choose if you're chained_

_And when it's all you control_

'_cause you got nothing else to hold_

_You're getting tighter and tighter_

_It's getting harder to let it go_

_I don't want to know_

_I just wanna run to you_

_And break off these chains_

_And throw them away_

_I just wanna be so much_

_And shake off the dust_

_That turn me to rust_

_Sooner than later, I'll need a savior_

_I need a savior_

_Stand me up and maybe I won't be so small_

_Free my hands and feet_

_And maybe I won't always fall_

_Save me_

_I just wanna run to you_

_And break off these chains_

_And throw them away_

_I just wanna be so much_

_And shake off the dust_

_That turn me to rust_

_Sooner than later,_

_I'll need a savior_

_I need a savior_

I smiled at the end, as it was the first time I actually REMEMBERED stuff like that. I have a HORRIBLE memory, now that I think about it…

"That was awesome! You're such a good singer. I swear, you might be better than me someday…" She said, making me blush heavily.

We talked for the next 3 hours or so before we finally decided to part ways.

"Bye, Lights." I said, giving her a hug.

"Bye Kimiko. I'll try to keep in touch with you, okay?" She said, hugging back.

I finally walked out of the RV trailer and walked to the front of Walmart, where I saw Tamaki, Takeo, Takehiko, Makoto, Kazuki, Miki, Akihiko, Hiroki, and Kenji standing around in the parking lot.

Within 5 seconds, they were all standing in front of me.

"Hi, Kimiko." Akihiko said.

"Hey, guys." I said, brushing some bangs out of my face.

"What are you doing here all dressed up like this?" Takeo asked.

"One of the prizes for winning the contest was a meeting with the band or singer of your choice. I just finished my meeting and I'm heading home right now." I said, pulling out my phone and texting Konan.

"Who'd you meet?" Takehiko asked.

"Lights." I said, not even paying attention to them.

"Oh. Well, we gotta go now. See ya later, guys." Takeo and Takehiko said.

"Yeah, I better go now. Bye, guys." I said, turning and walking off in the direction of the hideout.

Makoto then told me he wanted to walk me home, so I let him.

After a bit of talking, I got to know him pretty good. We ended up exchanging numbers, which I didn't think would happen.

When we got to the hideout, I accidently tripped and fell on him, which caused him to fall over.

We both blushed heavily, but we stayed like that for a couple unnecessary moments.

"S-Sorry…" I murmured, getting up.

"Bye… I'll text you later…" I said, turning around and beginning to walk over to the hideout patio deck.

I felt him grab my hand and he spun me around.

The next thing I knew, we were making out.

The weird thing was that I actually enjoyed it.

We were somehow holding hands by the time we were done making out, and I quickly blushed before saying a quick 'bye' and running for the patio deck. When I got inside, the first thing I did was look around for people.

What I saw next completely horrified me.

* * *

KIMIKO'S FIRST KISS! I put in a cliffie so I won't run out of material before the week is through. REVIEWS? PLZ?


	39. Chapter 39: Traumatization and Kumomaru

CHELLO READERS. I wrote this because I'm tired and when I'm tired, I get very good ideas.

AS IF I NEED TO SAY IT AGAIN.

* * *

Kimiko's POV

I turned around and saw something that absolutely horrified me.

There was Konan and Leader-Sama, making out and doing Jashin knows what else on the floor…

I screamed and fell backwards, leaning against the door for support.

Before anyone could react, I bolted out of the room, the image burned into my corneas.

I finally stopped when Hidan and Deidara came out of the garden room, suspicious looks on their faces.

I was jumping around, clutching my head and making squealing and squeaking noises.

"What the freakin' hell happened to you?" Hidan asked, his expression turning into confusion.

"I-I came in…. I came in the front door… and… and… they w-were…. And… I saw… BAAAAAAAHHH!" I finished by repeatedly slamming my head into a nearby wall, trying to forget the images I saw just 30 seconds earlier.

Deidara grabbed my shoulders and began shaking, trying to snap me out of it.

"KILL ME NOW, DEIDARA! PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY! KILL… ME… NOW!" I said, grabbing him and looking him dead in the eye.

"Calm down, Kimiko, un! Don't make me slap you." Deidara said.

"I-I saw Konan and Leader-Sama… doing Jashin knows what on the floor… I feel so gross now…" I said, wiggling around uncomfortably.

"Was it that freakin' bad?" Hidan asked behind Deidara.

"YES IT FREAKING WAS." I said, clutching my head once again.

"C'mon… you weren't that far behind them, un." Deidara said, looking at me accusingly.

"What are you-… WERE YOU SPYING ON ME THROUGH THE WINDOW?" I asked, coming to the realization.

"We didn't mean to, but we did." Hidan said, crossing his arms.

"I may or may have not kissed him… But that was a complete accident! I had no idea it would be THAT long!" I said, holding my hands up for emphasis on how innocent it was.

"Just don't tell anyone else, okay?" I asked, giving them my sincere face.

They thought about it, but before they could reply, I practically ruined it for myself by making a little comment.

"Where's my gum? I had it before I-…" I stopped mid sentence, realizing what I had just said.

They both looked at me with shocked expressions.

"Ignore that… little comment…" I said quickly.

Luckily, I still got them to promise me they wouldn't tell.

With that, I went into the kitchen to get a snack.

When I got a gogurt out of the fridge, I was caught off guard by a certain little ghost.

BAAAAAHH!" I exclaimed, almost taking 0off the door of the fridge.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" I whispered harshly.

"Did I forget to tell you? When you took the locket, you took ME with you, which means I now live here." He said, brushing some of his dirty blonde hair out of his eyes.

"EH?" I said, almost falling backwards.

"I go where ever the locket goes. When you took the locket, you brought me here with you. Now you're stuck with me." He explained.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU FREAKING TELL ME THAT BEFORE WE LEFT WALMART?" I asked, accidently dropping my gogurt.

"Well, you wouldn't have taken me if I had told you. Think, kid!" he said, tapping a finger to his head.

"Wait, I 'm being informal. My name's Kumomaru." He said.

"oh, 'Kumomaru'… How original… My name's Kimiko." I said, brushing some of my bangs out of my face.

"That's cool… Where am I staying, exactly?" he asked, a curious look forming on his pale face.

"Well, I guess we could put you in my room…" I said, taking the locket off and heading in the direction of my room.

I placed the locket on my work desk, right next to Iwa the rock.

"Does this mean that you can watch me sleep and everything?" I asked suspiciously.

"No. I COULD, but I will choose not to because you saved me from Walmart." He said, sitting down on the desk.

"Alright… Can other people see you, or is it just me?" I asked.

"I could only appear to you, but I could appear to other people if I wanted to." He muttered, not really paying much attention to me.

"Okay. I'm going to leave you here now, so… just don't mess anything up." I said, walking out of my room and shutting the door.

Pein's POV

At dinner that night, Kimiko only played with her food, almost in a daze.

After diner was over, she wouldn't even consider LOOKING at us. I finally decided to talk to her.

"Kimiko?" I asked, trying to make eye contact with her.

She looked at me and gave me the most complicated look I had ever seen.

"I will just say this. I am severely traumatized and scarred for life. Please promise me you are using protection at least, because I am not raising no kid. Got that?" She said, giving Konan and I accusing looks.

We were both taken a back by this, but we both nodded.

"Good. Now warn me next time there could possibly be a possibility of possible making out or Jashin knows what else… M'kay?" She added, brushing some of her black hair behind her ear.

We both nodded once again, and Kimiko left the room, happy with our responses.

"What is that child learning out there?" Konan asked, shaking her head thoughtfully.

"Maybe we should limit her time with Hidan…" I said, doing the same.

"Like Hidan is actually SMART enough to teach her that…" Konan said, rubbing the back of her head.

"I CAN FREAKIN' HEAR YOU!" Hidan said, who just happened to be walking by.

Konan laughed and hid behind the couch.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled, appearing out of nowhere.

We all twitched a little, but it didn't really phase us.

"Where's Kimi-hime? Tobi wanted to see if she would be scared." Tobi asked, looking around the room.

"She went to her room." I said, leaning back slightly.

Tobi nodded before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Hidan came in and started ranting on about how he wasn't as stupid as everyone would think, but he was interrupted.

"NERF GUN FIGHT!" Tobi yelled, shooting some foam darts into the air.

* * *

YEAH! NERF GUN FIGHTS! REVIEW PLEASE! Me will be happeh if you does. ^_^


	40. Chapter 40: Nerf gun fights

Chello...

I'm too sad to say it... I don't own NARUTO or NERF, or NOW & LATERS.

* * *

Kimiko's POV

I sat in my room, talking with Kumomaru, when I heard a thud against my door.

I bolted into a sitting position and stared at the door, half expecting it to fling open.

After several seconds, I heard the unmistakable sound of a nerf gun discharging foam darts.

I quickly got up and cracked the door open, only to be greeted with a dark corridor. I opened the door a little more and I almost died of a heart attack when Tobi popped up in front of me.

I barely caught myself on the doorframe, and I ended up falling backwards anyway because he got so close to me.

"Tobi? What are you doing?" I asked, trying to crawl backwards.

"Everyone is playing nerf gun war, and Tobi is hiding." Tobi said in a hushed voice.

"You guys are having a nerf gun war? I wanna play!" I said, gingerly standing up.

Tobi nodded vigorously.

I ran and got my gun from under my desk.

I then loaded up my pockets with foam darts and I even put on the special belt that holds them.

I loaded my gun and Tobi and I went down separate hallways, trying to find targets.

I somehow found my way into the lounge room, where Konan and Leader-Sama were hiding.

I fired until my gun was empty, and I did a mission impossible style roll under a couch so I could reload.

I tried crawling back out, but the exits were blocked.

The nozzles of a few guns appeared, aiming at me.

I used my cloak as a shield, and once the on slot was done, I wiggled out from under the couch and ran into the kitchen.

They attempted to follow me, but I dove gracefully (translation: I tripped and banged my head on something before face planting into the floor) and managed to hide behind the island.

Kakuzu was stationed in there, so he began attacking me.

I closed my eyes and took random shots at him, which worked.

After many failed attempts, I snuck out of the kitchen and found myself back in the lounge room, where the most brutal of battles was taking place.

I used up most my ammo, which meant I was pretty much a sitting duck unless I could make it back to my room, where it was safe.

I shinobied (1) it back to my room, and just when I was about to open the door, I was shot with Hidan and Sasori's remaining amounts of ammo.

I screeched and dug into my pocket, where I found my emergency supply.

I aimed at them and fired a few, which disorientated them for a few seconds, leaving me with the opportunity to run into my room.

Sadly, I ran for the lounge room.

The next morning, I woke up behind a love seat, clutching my gun and my cloak over me as if it were a shield.

There were foam darts EVERYWHERE.

I tried standing up, but my legs cramped up, which caused me to face plant into the floor.

I propped myself up on my elbows and looked at the damage.

There were bodies everywhere, all clutching their guns and covered in darts.

I myself noticed that a few were stuck on me.

I tried to be quiet, but being the uncoordinated, clumsy person I am, I tripped on air and slammed into the wall, almost knocking myself out.

I pretended to be asleep, as I didn't wanna seem like the idiot in this case, which I clearly was.

"What was that?" Leader-Sama asked quickly, bolting upright.

I heard everyone else bolt upright, or attempt to, at any rate.

I felt a few stares burning holes into the back of my head, so I tightened up.

"Kid? What are you doing?" Hidan asked, half expecting me not to answer.

"Pretending to sleep." I said in a hushed voice.

"Why?"

"So I won't look like an idiot."

"Why would you?"

"'Cause I'm the one who woke everyone up."

"How?"

"I tripped and slammed into the wall."

An awkward silence followed.

"Alrighty then…" Hidan said, getting up.

"What the hell happened last night, un?" Deidara asked, rubbing the back of his head.

Everyone thought this over for a minute before shrugging.

"Maybe we were all too tired to give a damn about pushing that little record button in our brains that helps us remember stuff…" I said, sitting up and almost falling over again from the dizziness.

"How much candy did you have last night?" Leader-Sama asked, trying to see if my pupils were dilated.

"About… 5 bags of… NOW & LATERS…" I said, rubbing my eyes groggily.

"I thought so…" Leader-Sama said, confirming his suspicions.

"Yeah, the lights are on, but no one's home!" I said, knocking on the side of my head for emphasis on how messed up I was at the moment.

"What time is it?" Sasori asked, looking around for a clock.

"9:30 AM." I automatically responded before falling sideways.

"How do you know?"He asked.

"Because, I'm psychic." I said, tapping gently on the carpeted floor for a few seconds.

"No you're not. You have a watch."

"No… Maybe… So? I'm still psychic." I said, crossing my arms.

"Oh yeah? Prove it. What am I thinking right now?"

"You are thinking of dryers." I said, sitting up and nearly falling over.

"HOW'D YOU KNOW?" He asked, shocked.

"Academy, (2) my dear. I just took an educated guess." I said, standing up unsteadily and stretching.

"You seem very graceful for someone your age, Kimiko, hm." Deidara said, eyeing my cat-like stretch.

"I'm actually pretty agile, and-... Oh boy…" I said, falling over and face planting into the floor. My leg cramped up, causing me to fall over.

"Scratch that last comment. I'm the exact opposite of anything NEAR graceful…" I said, my voice slightly muffled by the carpet.

* * *

Was it good? You're probably wondering why I'm so sad. Well, my oldest dog just died, so I'm feeling very depressed and sad. I personally thought this chappie was gonna end up being all crappy because I feel crappy, but it's really your opinion that matters.

(1): Shinobied is a word I made up that means 'went somewhere in a ninja-like way.'

(2): 'Academy, my dear.' is a form of elementary, my dear Watson.'

Review PLZ? I'm still sad, but maybe a few reviews could make me feel less like crap.


	41. Chapter 41: Boyfriend trouble and darts

Hi... After being emo for a bit, I came to the decision to push the sadness way down in my soul and mind for later, because I might need to use some of it for THINGS... And my sad inspiration has died, so THIS WAS JUST THE THING I NEEDED.

I still feel very sad and crappy, but I guess we all feel like that sometimes.

I don't own very much, and NARUTO or NERF aren't any of the few things I do.

* * *

Pein's POV

"Why are you so messed up when it comes to this kind of stuff?" Itachi asked, picking Kimiko up off the ground enough so she could sit up.

"I don't know. It's like the universe is purposely trying to contradict me or something." Kimiko replied distantly, making sure there were no objects that could possibly get in the way of her trying to stand up.

"The universe contradicts EVERYONE about half the time, hm. It's just a fact of life." Deidara said, brushing some of his blonde hair behind his ear.

"I guess we better go eat breakfast. I'm hungry…" Konan said, standing up and stretching.

"I'm still all doped up, so could someone carry me?" Kimiko asked.

"Let's see how far you can make it." Sasori said, standing her up.

"Oh that's a five second project…" She mumbled, trying to gain her balance.

She kept stumbling and bumping into walls and other people, but she actually made it to the dining room.

"Well, at least you know how it feels to be drunk now." Konan said to Kimiko, shrugging and taking a bite of toast.

"No, I learned what it felt like when I was 9." Kimiko replied, rubbing the back of her head and yawning.

We all shot looks of shock at her.

"What? I WAS THIRSTY AND NO ONE PAID WANTED TO PAY THE WATER BILL. I was just trying to stay hydrated." She said, crossing her arms.

After another 10 seconds, we went back to eating.

By the time breakfast was over, Kimiko had regained some of her balance and could think a little more clearly. She must've needed food to help get her thinking straight.

As we were sitting in the lounge room, playing wii, the Kimiko's cell phone rang.

She whipped it out and answered.

"Hello?"

…

"Oh hi, sweetie." She said, a smile forming on her face. She tilted her head in a way that made her look extra pretty and cute in a way.

…

"I'm… at home. Where're you at?"

…

"I thought so."

…

"I'm just fine. I have a bit of a headache, but then again… That's normal for me."

…

"No, I'll be okay. How are you?"

…

"Oh really? How's your brother? Miyu told me he was in the hospital."

…

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Who is home with you?"

…

"You poor thing! Why don't you go stay with one of your boys?"

…

"Sorry, but… No one knows yet, so… It could get a little awkward."

…

"No I'm not! It's just that you're not safe with your brother in the hospital and all, if THEY find out about… you know."

…

"Yeah, alright."

…

"Okay, bye."

With that, she hung up and put the phone in her pocket.

She went back to what she was doing before the phone rang like nothing happened.

We all stared at her for a minute or two before the tension finally got to her.

"Eh?" she asked, turning to us.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"No one." She replied, turning back to what she was doing.

We attempted to make her tell us who it was, but she had a good answer for EVERYTHING.

Hidan and Deidara seemed to know more than they were letting on, but they were very secretive about it, which meant it must've been something BIG.

After a bit, I told Kimiko to clean up the foam darts which were spread across the hideout, and of course she obeyed since she had nothing better to do.

I dragged Hidan and Deidara into my office and locked the door, just so they couldn't get away.

"What's the deal with Kimiko?" I asked the two, making sure the door was locked.

They shot glances at each other before looking back at me.

"What are you talking about?" Hidan asked.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. If you just tell me, we can all coexist and we can forget this ever happened." I said, crossing my arms.

"We swore not to tell anyone, hm." Deidara said, leaning back in his chair.

"If you don't tell me, we can do things the hard way." I said, whipping out a rather big and scary-looking kunai.

They thought things over for a minute before coming to a decision.

"Alright. Kimiko's got a boyfriend." Hidan said, sinking down in his chair.

"SHE DOES?" I asked, standing up.

"Yeah… One of those boys we met at Walmart, un…" Deidara said. You could almost see the evil plans he had in store for that boy in his eyes.

"What's his name?" I asked instantly.

"We don't know. We'd ask Kimiko, but she'd probably think we'd be using it for our own twisted reasons." Hidan said, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, I'm gonna make this fast… Keep an eye on those two, got it?" I asked, rubbing my temples, trying to remember all the boys Kimiko had been hanging out with at Walmart.

"We have. It doesn't look like he's got any ideas… yet…" Hidan said, narrowing his eyes at the thought.

"Tell me if he tries ANYTHING. Alright, you can go now." I said, unlocking the door.

They both nodded and quickly ran from the office as if I would change my mind at any second.

I thought about telling Konan, but she'd probably start questioning Kimiko and give us away, so I decided against it.

I had no idea why I was being so protective of Kimiko. The only reason I could really come up with is the fact that I see her as almost like a sister to me, and based on all the TV I watch nowadays, this was almost normal behavior for an older brother.

I went back into the lounge room, where I found a big pile of foam darts.

I thought it was a little strange, but I decided to check it out.

As I approached it, Kimiko burst from the pile, sending foam darts flying everywhere.

I twitched in surprise, but I quickly regained my composure after several seconds.

Kimiko started laughing and giggling like crazy, which made me grin considerably.

"What were you doing?" I asked, curiosity lining my normally dull tone.

"I was being a baka, like always." She replied, throwing some handfuls of darts into the air.

Yeah, she was being our baka, like always.

* * *

I wrote this while it was raining out. I had a MASSIVE headache but the rain-scented air helped meh think. Sadly, the rain only helped with the depressing atmosphere. Damn, I'm whining again...

REVIEWS? PWEASE? DO IT FOR MY DOG'S SOUL1 :( I'm guilting you guys, so I'm very sorry about that.


	42. Chapter 42: Dead pears and randomness

Hiyo. I feel a little better now, anf it's all thanks to your reviews! Just the simple act of reviewing makes me feel all warm inside. ^_^

I own NOTHING.

* * *

Kimiko's POV

My cell phone, which was conveniently in my pocket, rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and answered.

"Hello?"  
"Hey, beautiful." Makoto answered.

"Oh hi, sweetie." I said, tilting my head. I do that some times.

"Where are you at?" He asked. I could just picture the curious expression on his face.

"I'm… at home. Where're _you_ at?" I asked, shifting a little in my seat.

"I'm at home too." He replied in almost the exact same tone as I had.

"I thought so." I said, unintentionally wriggling a little in my seat once again.

"How are you?" He questioned.

"I'm just fine. I have a bit of a headache, but then again… That's normal for me." I said, rubbing the back of my head.

"Aww… Do you need someone to come give you a hug?" He asked. I knew he was smiling.

"No, I'll be okay. How are you?" I asked, tilting my head in the other direction.

"I've… Been better…" He said, sighing.

"Oh really? How's your brother? Miyu told me he was in the hospital." I asked, a tone of worry in my voice.

"Yeah, he's got a broken leg and he got an infection, so they wanna make sure he'll be okay." He said a little distantly, most likely picturing his brother.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Who is home with you?" I asked, accidently say 'is', a word I try not to say too often.

"No one. I'm ALONE…" He said, sighing depressingly.

"You poor thing! Why don't you go stay with one of your boys?" I asked, referring to our many friends who just happened to be guys.

"They're all out on missions. The only place I have to go is your house." He said exasperatingly.

"Sorry, but… No one knows yet, so… It could get a little awkward." I said, feeling everyone glaring holes in the back of my head.

"Are you embarrassed of me or something?" He asked, most likely crossing his arms.

"No I'm not! It's just that you're not safe with your brother in the hospital and all, if THEY find out about… you know." I said in a quiet voice.

"Oh yeah… Well, I gotta go now…" he said.

"Yeah, alright." I said, detecting a note of depression in his voice.

"Yeah, bye." He said, preparing to hang up.

"Okay, bye." I said, hanging up.

I quickly went back to what I was doing before the phone rang as if nothing had happened; trying to ignore the death stares I was receiving.

After a minute or two, the tension got to me and I snapped.

"Eh?" I asked, turning to everyone.

"Who was that?" Leader-Sama asked.

"No one." I replied quickly, turning back to what I was previously doing.

I got more questions directed towards me, but I had good answers for everything, so they eventually gave up.

Hidan and Deidara were quite good at hiding what they knew already, but I was still quite concerned that they could break at any moment.

"Hey Kimiko? Could you clean up the foam darts? We all have other stuff to do." Leader-Sama said, gesturing to the piles of darts strewn across the floor.

I sighed, but I nodded.

Everyone evaporated from the room, leaving me to clean up the entire hideout by myself.

It took me a while, but I got all the darts into a big pile in the lounge room.

I burrowed inside and waited for any unsuspecting victims to walk by.

After about an hour, I was ready to give up, but I then heard footsteps, footsteps that I identified as Leader-Sama's.

I waited until he was just a few feet away, then I pounced, sending darts flying everywhere.

He twitched, but other than that, he wasn't fazed much.

"What were you doing?" He asked.

"Being a baka, like always." I said, grinning like an idiot and throwing handfuls of darts into the air.

He smiled and shook his head before helping me collect all the recently scattered darts and distributing them to all of the Akatsuki members.

At lunch, I got myself a pear, the kind that look all rotted and brown but are surprisingly yummy.

Just when I was about to take a bite out of it, Ghost came in, a foam dart stuck to the skull and cross bones tag on his collar.

I laughed hysterically for a while before getting cussed out by said cat, which resulted in me laughing harder.

I laughed so hard I fell backwards, making me laugh more.

I got a cramp in my side, causing me to faint for a few seconds, and after the cramp was gone, I pulled the dart off of said cat and laughed some more.

By the time I was done laughing like a maniac, everyone was staring at me like I had two heads.

I cleared my throat and went back to what I was doing before my laughing fit, and they went back to what they were doing.

Leader-Sama, who had just come into the room, asked why there was a splattered pear on the floor.

I stared at my pear, wondering how it could've fallen off of the table with so much force as to shatter like a bug on a windshield, but I was abruptly snapped out of my thoughts when Leader-Sama cleared his throat, trying to make me hurry up with my answer.

"It… Committed suicide." I said in the same tone as that boy from Jeepers Creepers 2 who had to explain what happened to the bus driver lady when she disappeared.

Everyone choked on what ever they happened to be eating and laughed for a few seconds.

"It… Committed suicide?" Leader-Sama questioned.

"Yeah. You know, since his parents got eaten yesterday, his girlfriend was put in a smoothie this morning, and I cut out the core, so that meant he couldn't have children, he just couldn't take it anymore." I said, shaking my head sadly at the pear sauce on the floor.

This received a few more laughs and curious stares.

"Alrighty then…" Leader-Sama said, shaking his head and taking a seat.

Yeah, they thought I was crazy, but Zetsu knew the truth. He could also see that poor pear's sad soul, floating around the table.

* * *

In my opinion, I could've done better on this chapter, but it's YOUR opinion that matters. REVIEW PLZ?

Things you should probably know:

1. I know I haven't updated my other story in a while, but I'm working on it and the next chapter should be out any time now.

2. I watched nearly all the NARUTO and BLEACH openings, and it was life changing. I looked like this for the next few minutes. _. I advise that you try it.


	43. Chapter 43: A nameless chapter

Hi. This chapter was definantly not the best I ever wrote, but it'll have to do for now...

Do we really have to go through this AGAIN?

* * *

After lunch, (and the tiny funeral for the suicidal pear, in which Zetsu just licked him off the ground and I said a small pray from the book of Jashinism), I went and sat in my room to play ANIMAL CROSSING CITY FOLK, a nice change from playing stuff like Dead Space 2.

Just when I was in the middle of a good sale on my froggy chair at the flea market, a man walked in, wearing a long black cape with a hood that covered his face. Of course, I didn't know who it was and I did my typical anime reaction.

I threw my bowl of popcorn at him, stunning him for a few seconds. I then did a 360 kick right in his 'forbidden fruit', causing him to collapse in pain on the floor.

"DIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I yelled, kicking him one last time before crawling up into my bed and staring at him with a death glare.

Shadow came waltzing in and sniffed him before joining me on the bed.

After much rolling around and groaning, he stood up and pulled the hood off.

"HIDAN! Where'd you come from? Watch out… There's a scary guy in a black cape somewhere around here…" I said, my eyes searching the room suspiciously.

"THAT WAS ME, YOU BAKA!" He hollered, smacking me upside the head.

"Oh, it was?" I asked, rubbing my sore head.

"Why is it your speciality to land low blows?" He asked, sitting down next to me.

"It just is, okay? I developed the skill when I was 3 and a half, I think, and it just stuck after that." I said, going back to what I was doing.

"Aww… Why are you selling that freakin' froggy chair? I wanted it!" He said, his voice slightly whiny.

"Yeah? What did YOU plan to pay for it?" I asked, looking at him and pausing the deal.

"You mean you have to pay?" He asked, his tone dropping a little in disappointment.

"No duh, stupid!" I said, whacking the back of HIS head.

"Well, I'll only go as high as 500 bells." He said, crossing his arms.

"WHAT? It's worth at least 1,000. Look at Freckles! She knows how to negotiate! She's putting down 1,100!" I said, pointing at Freckle's offer. In case you haven't figured it out already, Freckles lives in my town.

"Fine then…" Hidan said, leaning back and pouting for several minutes.

Deidara happened to be walking by, and he decided to watch me.

"At least you don't have a Grim Reaper cape on…" I muttered, rolling my eyes at Hidan.

"Eh?" Deidara asked, confused by what I just said.

"Nothing." I said, turning back to my game.

After about an hour, I let Hidan have a try for a few minutes.

"So, how are you and your _boyfriend_?" Hidan asked in a slightly teasing tone.

"Shut up! It's not OFFICIAL yet, okay?" I said, throwing a pillow at his face.

"But you guys MADE OUT, un. What do you call that?" Deidara asked, crossing his arms.

"That… Was accidental. I fell on top of him and he kissed ME. I just went along with it." I said, trying to hold back a blush I knew was coming.

"Oh really? YOU WERE FREAKING ENJOYING IT. Explain that!" Hidan asked.

"Well, it was my first, so-… HOW IN HELL DID YOU KNOW I WAS ENJOYING IT?" I asked, suddenly sitting on top of him, his Akatsuki cloak collar in my hands.

"Wasn't it obvious?" Hidan said, smiling sadistically.

"I didn't think it was!" I said, letting go of him and leaning back, still sitting on him.

"Damn, your light…" He said, noticing that I was extremely underweight.

"Took you long enough…" I said, getting off of him.

"What's his name, anyway, hm?" Deidara asked, tilting his head to the side a little, letting some of his blonde hair fall out of place.

"Do I have to tell you?" I whined.

"Yes. Now tell us." Hidan said.

"Fine… It's Makoto…" I said, crossing my arms and feeling a blush coming on.

"No last name?" Hidan asked.

"It's the Narutoverse. Half of us don't have last names. But, in fact, I DO and HE DOES. I just won't tell you." I said, standing up and poking his forehead before leaving to go get more popcorn.

Pein's POV

Hidan and Deidara came bursting into my office and locked the door behind them.

"We got a name…" Hidan said, smirking.

"What is it?" I asked quickly.

"Makoto." Deidara said, smirking the same smirk as Hidan.

"You mean that tall one with the black hair?" I asked.

"Yeah, that one." Hidan confirmed.

"Isn't he like, 13 or something?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Hidan said distantly, most likely trying to picture said boy in his mind.

"And… How old is Kimiko, again?" I asked.

"11 and a half, un." Deidara said quickly.

"Wow… Isn't she short for 11?" I asked.

"She hasn't eaten much in her short time here, so she's not growing that much yet, hm." Deidara explained, thinking rationally.

"Why did you lock the door?" I asked.

"SHE could come find us…" Hidan muttered, unlocking the door and peering out into the corridor.

"Okay, so… What are we going to do about him, un?" Deidara asked, taking a seat in front of my desk.

"Let's watch him a little longer. Then, we can decide what to do with him." I said reluctantly just before Konan walked in.

"What are you guys doing?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing. Hidan, Deidara, you're dismissed." I said, waving them off.

They disappeared, and Konan started questioning me.

I told her it was just a little problem with Kimiko and that we'd handle it, but she wasn't satisfied.

I managed to change the subject long enough for us to start making out, and she forgot all about the issue.

I just hoped we could keep her from finding out long enough to get more information on Makoto, as we didn't have very much to go on at the moment.

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Yeah, I started developing writer's block on the last few paragraphs, so I improvised. Reviews?


	44. Chapter 44: 100 REVIEWS TREAT!

WE HIT 100 REVIEWS! I never thought we would make it this far, but look at us now. I made this as a special treat for you guys, so I hope you enjoy!

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50 Ways to annoy or otherwise, freak out the Akatsuki

Sit in front of Kisame and eat sushi, shark fin soup, or any form of edible fish.

Walk up to Deidara and ask him to prove that he is indeed a man, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

Walk around and appear to be talking to someone who just isn't there.

Put laxatives in the food and lock up all the bathrooms.

Lock yourself up in the kitchen for a day.

Lock someone in the closet with Tobi.

Hide Kakuzu's wallet and tell him that Hidan stole it.

Stare at some random member in a disturbed way.

Set a big spider loose in the base.

Walk up to a random member and ask if you can have your Care Bear DVDs back, and make sure to do it in front of everyone.

Hide under a random member's bed and wait there until they find you. Tape the reaction.

Tell Orochimaru the hideout's number.

Tell Sasuke where the hideout is.

Ask Pein why he has a picture of Konan under his pillow in front of everyone, including Konan.

Eat salad in front of Zetsu and see if he is affected in any way.

Randomly burst out into song.

Laugh hysterically when someone walks by you and don't tell them why.

Lock Hidan and Kakuzu inside a room filled with Shikamaru and Asuma fangirls.

Walk around in a bear suit.

Steal Hidan's scythe and tell him Kakuzu stole it.

Steal Tobi's cookies.

When talking to Tobi, call him Madara instead of Tobi and wait for his reaction.

Hide tacks on all the chairs just before a meeting.

Pass out during breakfast.

Pass out during a meeting.

Start talking like Tobi.

Use a jutsu to hide on the ceiling and see how long you can last without being noticed.

While on the ceiling, spit on everyone's heads.

Fart loudly then leave the room.

Lock up all the snacks in your room.

Play hide and seek with Tobi, but don't look for him.

Give everyone annoying nicknames.

Throw magnets at Pein's face.

Follow Zetsu around with a weed whacker.

Wait until everyone is in the meeting room, bang on the wall right outside, and walk in rubbing your forehead.

Every time someone touches you, say 'ow'.

Get around to different rooms using the ceiling.

Put a label that reads, 'poison' on a water bottle and drink it in front of everybody.

But bleach in everyone's shampoo.

Cut Deidara's hair while he's sleeping.

Cut Itachi's hair while he's sleeping.

Dye everyone's hair random colors while they're sleeping.

When someone comes near you, throw random objects at them.

Have a fight with your teddy bear in front of everyone.

Fight in Japanese with your teddy bear in front of everyone.

Ask Konan to make a complicated piece of origami and burn it right in front of her when she finishes.

Walk around with a huge spider sitting on your head and pretend not to notice.

Eat the last cookie in the hideout in front of everybody.

Walk around with a blind fold on but don't tell anyone what you are doing or why you are doing it.

Sit in your room with the lights off and pretend to be talking to someone. When anybody comes in and turns on the light, scream and say that they're chasing away your friends.

WARNING: AFTER ATTEMPTING ANY OF THESE, RUN LIKE HELL.

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Was it enjoyable? I had to improvise a little towards the end, but here we are. I'd just like to say THANK YOU to all my reviewers, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! XOXOXOXO


	45. Chapter 45: Upon ordering takeout

Hiyo.

DON'T OWN.

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Kimiko's POV

Makoto and I's relationship grew over the next week, and pretty soon it was official. I didn't want to go too slow, nor did he want to go too fast, so we went normal speed.

Compromising is very important in a relationship and we got that out of the way rather quickly.

His brother would be getting out of the hospital in another week or so, and he was expected to be all healed up by early next month, so Makoto didn't have to be lonely for too long.

Most of you are probably wondering where the hell his parents are.

Well, they ran out on them when Makoto was 3 and a half. Yeah, tragic…

I wished my parents would have done that.

Well, it would have been better not having in my life all together instead of dealing with them for all those years. Abandonment seems better than Abuse and Neglect in my opinion.

After lunch, (no pears were killed that time. An apple suffered greatly, though…), I decided to sit around in the lounge room and watch TV. Right in the midst of a marathon of AFV, I remembered that I had a wii and a whole boat load of games, so I bolted upright and ran to my room, where I spread the games out on the floor to pick which one I wanted to play.

Hidan and Deidara, sensing what I was planning with that built-in video game sensor that boys and some gifted girls have, came into my room and looked over my shoulder, watching my every move.

I purposely teased them, picking up a game that they clearly wanted to try, and then I would drop it and go back to picking. The tension finally built up to the boiling point and Hidan snapped.

"JUST PICK A FREAKING GAME ALREADY!" He yelled before falling over backwards.

"Alright, alright, no need to get testy." I said, patting his head.

"How about we play Call of Duty, World at War, hm?" Deidara suggested.

I suddenly realized something, and I quickly stood up.

"Uh, can you start it without me? I have to take care of something…" I said, backing towards the door.

"What's wrong? Don't want to play Call of Duty?" Hidan asked, putting the game into the wii.

"No, but duty calls." I said, turning and running for the bathroom.

I smiled to myself at my own cleverness.

After doing my thing, I came back to my room and found Hidan and Deidara, waiting for me with multiplayer set up.

We played for several hours before Konan came in and interrupted the game.

"Guys, we're ordering takeout tonight. What do you want?" She asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"I'll have the Chichi dango, azuki ice cream, and some fried catfish." I said, not even looking up from the screen.

"That's a bit much for someone as small as you, now isn't it?" Hidan asked, pausing the game.

"Well, you guys are gonna end up picking off my plate, so in mathematical terms, I'll have just enough for myself." I said, annoyed that he paused the game.

"True dat…" Deidara muttered, shrugging.

After ordering all the stuff we wanted, we went back to playing Call of Duty until the food arrived.

Kakuzu came in and yelled at us for ordering particularly expensive food. Luckily, I was able to tune him out with my beloved MP3 player.

Hidan and Deidara on the other hand, had no way to tune him out so they plainly ignored him.

After a while, he wore himself out and left, mumbling a few cuss words.

After a while, we got bored with Call of Duty World at War and tried out Silent Hill Shattered Memories again. I still had a little of my old video game instincts, so I played for a little while before passing it over to Hidan.

Ghost, being the big baby that he is, climbed up and sat on my head, acting like he owned the world. That was Shadow's job, but since she was asleep on my shoulder, he decided to play king while he could. They started acting more like actual cats than highly trained shinobi animals, and I couldn't really blame them.

Just then, I heard a knock at the front door that was extremely loud. No one wanted to get up and get it, and after a while, I figured no one WOULD get up and get it, so I got up and went to the front door.

"AM I THE ONLY WHO ANSWERS THE DOOR AROUND HERE?" I yelled, opening the door.

"Hello." I said, turning to the delivery boy.

"Hi, little lady. Here's your food. That'll be 11, 719 ryo." He said, handing me the food. At least he was nicer than those other guys. The other ones throw the food at you and expect you to catch it.

I gasped at the price, but I quickly recovered and put the food down.

"KAKUZU! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" I yelled in the direction Kakuzu's bedroom was.

"I'M BUSY!" He yelled, sounding rather annoyed.

"FINE THEN! BE THAT WAY!" I yelled back.

"Um, I'll be right back." I said, putting down the food and running into the kitchen.

Kakuzu often forgets his wallet in there, and this time was no exception.

I grabbed it and pulled out 12,000 ryo before stuffing it in my back pocket and going back to the front door, where Ghost and Shadow were glaring at the delivery boy.

"Sorry about that. Here you go. Keep the change." I said sweetly, handing him the money.

"Thanks, kid." He said, putting the money in his pocket.

"Bye, have a nice day." I said, closing the door.

I picked up the food and went to the kitchen, where I put the bags and cute little carrying boxes on the island. I sat on the counter across from it and grabbed my bag of food.

Ghost and Shadow were sweet talking me once they smelled the fish in my bag, and I each gave them a small piece of the enormous fried fish.

We all sat there on the counter, and I pulled out a bowl of Udon. I sat there eating it, and just then, everyone walked in.

"I see you've been hoarding…" Sasori said, seeing me stop midway through slurping up a few udon noodles.

"Well, no one got up to answer the door and I had to do the laundry yesterday AND I had to carry all this stuff here into the kitchen so I deserve to have my pick!" I said, gingerly slurping up the noodles hanging out of my mouth.

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Yeah... I was slacking off yesterday and I had to do A LOT of stuff today but I managed to post this, so I hoped you enjoyed. REVIEW PLZ.


	46. Chapter 46: Squids and glow stickers

Yeah... This isn't exactly my BEST work right here, but I tried.

...

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Pein's POV

"Well, you could've at least TOLD US the food was here!" I said, grabbing a random bag in front of me.

"No one wanted to answer the door, so I thought I should get firsts picks on everything. Besides, I wouldn't get very much of my own food since you guys were probably gonna pick off my plate." She said, hopping off the counter and grabbing a bag of food.

She peered inside and instantly dropped the bag upon seeing what was inside.

"O-OOOH MY JASHIN…" She said, peering down from the island, where she landed when she jumped backwards.

"What?" Sasori asked, peering inside the bag.

He pulled out a bowl with the to-go lid on top, and inside was moving squid tentacles.

Kimiko stared at the bowl like it was a bomb about to explode.

"What's with you?" Sasori asked, popping off the lid and holding up a wiggling squid tentacle.

She grew wide eyed and stared at it, half expecting Sasori to throw it at her to scare her.

"I just don't like octopuses, okay? Let's leave it at that…" she said, still staring at the wiggling slimy thing.

We shrugged it off and began eating again.

After eating her fill of catfish, Kimiko pulled out the package of dango, and as soon as the first stick of dango was in view, Itachi was sitting next to her, watching her every move.

"… Yes?" Kimiko asked, turning to him with a mouthful of dango.

He stared at her, and she was quite disturbed by this, so she pulled out another stick and handed it to him before waving him off and going back to eating hers.

He snapped up the dango and went back to his seat, smirking.

After several minutes of eating in absolute silence, I saw a squid tentacle fly across the table and land in front of Kimiko.

Before she could scream, Tobi popped up next to her, and before she could even scream, she fell over backwards and scrambled away from the table, shrieking and jumping up and down the way only girls can.

We all laughed until she finally went back to her seat, throwing the squid tentacle at Sasori.

After several more minutes of silence, Sasori grabbed another squid tentacle and looked at Kimiko.

"Hey Kimiko? If you eat this, I'll give you my glow in the dark stickers." He said, waving the still wiggling squid tentacle.

Her head snapped up and she looked at him with her green-brown eyes.

"PROMISE?" She asked after an awkward silence.

Sasori nodded and threw the squid tentacle at her.

She stared at it for a few seconds before grabbing it and putting it in her mouth. She chewed for several seconds before swallowing it.

"Pay up, hm." Deidara said, holding out his hand to Sasori.

Sasori grumbled something and handed Deidara 10 dollars.

"THAT… WAS… DISTURBING…" Kimiko said, wiping her mouth off.

"How'd it taste?" Kakuzu asked.

Kimiko thought this over for a second or two, then her only response was,

"It was pretty freakin' good."She said, leaning over and grabbing another one.

We rolled our eyes and smiled.

After we finished dinner, I got stuck doing the dishes because everyone else apparently had something better to do.

Kimiko's POV

I heard my phone ringing, which was in my room, so I quickly walked into my room and closed the door for some privacy.

"Hello?" I asked, a little out of breath.

"Hi, baby." Makoto said, rather joyful to hear from me.

"Oh, hello 'Koto." I said, using my recently devised nickname.

"What've you been up to?" He asked, the smile still most likely stuck on his face.

"Well, we just got done having take-out. I had to eat a squid tentacle to get Sasori's glitter stickers." I said, sounding quite cheerful.

"How'd you like the taste?" He asked.

"IT… WAS… AWESOME." I said, putting extra emphasis on the 'awesome'.

"ISN'T IT?" He asked, the exact same tone of voice as I was just using.

"HELL YEAH!" I replied.

"By the way, I was wondering something. How old were you when you passed the chuunin exams? I've been wondering if we probably saw each other at one point." He said.

"Oh, actually… I took it last year." I said, remembering how I got the title of chuunin.

"… I see. Well, I became chuunin about 2 years ago, come to think of it." He said thoughtfully.

" So you're still a chuunin? I thought you recently became a jonin…?" I said, turning it into a question by the end.

"No, my BROTHER became Jonin. He became one because of what he did on his last mission, so that's why he's sick." Makoto explained.

"Oh, and before I forget… How IS your brother doin'?" I asked, tilitng my head to the side.

"He's home, finally. But he's still pretty sick. I probably shouldn't even be talking to you right now since I'm supposed to be taking care of him." He said, his joy fading.

"Oh, alright. I'll let you go now. Bye." I said, preparing to hang up.

"Bye, baby." He said before hanging up.

I sighed and felt a blush creep across my face.

"Who was that?" Hidan asked, coming in surprisingly fast.

"WERE YOU TWO EASEDROPPING?" I asked, watching as Deidara followed.

"No… Maybe… SO?" Hidan responded, having an inner conflict with himself on how to answer. I wasn't amused, and pulled out a box of cookies from the hiding spot in between my bed in the wall.

"Look, if you guys wanna know more about Makoto, all you have to do is ask me and see how far you get." I said, putting the cookies back and choosing the cheezits instead.

"Alright. First question. DOES HE DO DRUGS?" Hidan asked, leaning in so he was inches from my face.

"No. And what are you saying? I know about that little stash under your bed." I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

"They're EMPTY… Damn, you have trust issues…" hidan said, leaning back and crossing his arms.

"So what if I do? Alright, next question." I said, grabbing a handful of cheezits before putting them back in their rightful place.

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Yup... Reiviews?


	47. Chapter 47: Magic bumblebees and cereal

Wassup. Sorry about the delay. I had stuff to do. Alright, I'm gonna go right out and say it. The beginning is weak. Very weak. But bare with me until about midway through and it should be okay.

I don't own NARUTO. Gosh...

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Kimiko's POV

After several minutes of nothing but simple questions that I was a little less than happy to answer, they finally stopped and I shoed them off before getting on Silent Hill Shattered Memories and blocking out all other forms of life.

Konan came and dragged me out of the room for dinner, which I didn't eat. I just fed the food to Rainy and Sunny, who were lying around under the table. No one even caught me.

Sasori pulled out his pack of glow in the dark stickers and gave them to me, and I went to work decorating my stuff with them.

After several hours of decorating and arguing with my roommates (Ghost, Shadow, and Kumomaru), I crawled into bed and passed out for a sizeable matter of time. I actually slept until 8:00, which was quite terrifying for me since I'm normally the second or third one up, I was now the second to last who was up. Hidan's usually the one to sleep longer than 8:30, and I nearly beat him.

I shrugged it off after concluding that I probably just needed more sleep before devoting the entire day to gaming, an activity that only a lucky few could take part in.

Those lucky few being my two cats. Kumomaru wanted to go wander around, and I couldn't blame him. The hideout was more like a mansion.

"Hey Ghost? I see you've been acting down-right hostel towards Kumomaru. Is there any special reason for that?" I asked, nudging said cat with my elbow.

"There is, actually. He's taking my job!" Ghost whined, flopping down and pouting the way only cats seem to be capable of.

I laughed and stroked his head.

"He's not, actually. He's OUR ghost. No one else can see him, so you're still EVERYONE'S ghost. Now does that make you feel better?" I asked, scratching his chin, which most cats thoroughly enjoy.

"Well, I'd feel even better if we could get rid of Tobi…" he muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Believe me, we ALL want that. But he's a cockroach. Even if you cut off his head, his gonna hang around for a while." I said, shaking my head and going back to my game.

That night, I told Ghost and Shadow to keep watch over me just to make sure no magic bumblebees or chicken wizards were putting curses on me. That may have sounded stupid to you, but I wasn't gonna take any chances. I may not wake up late next time. I may not wake up at ALL if it continues, in my point of view.

Over the next week or so, Ghost and Shadow told me that NOTHING was visiting me, and that I was probably having a growth spurt. I decided to just go with the fact that magic bumblebees were watching me, and I dubbed them as good magic bumblebees since I secretly like bumblebees because they're fuzzy and cute.

One morning, at about 7:40, I got an idea.

I got out of bed and went to the kitchen, where I found a brand new box of lucky charms. The box was ALL MINE, so I grabbed the box and dumped it out on the freshly cleaned island. I then went to work on picking out the oats and putting the marshmallows back in the box, occasionally sneaking a bite. I worked until about 8:20 before someone finally came in.

It just happened to be Itachi.

He stared at me quizzically, but I paid no attention to him. I continued to work, and he finally built up enough nerve to question me.

"…What are you… doing?" He asked, coming over and standing next to me.

"I was tired of always getting SO many oats and barely getting any marshmallows, so I decided to fix the problem." I explained, not even looking up from my work.

He started to say something, but shook his head and left the room. No one else came in for the next half hour, so I figured that he must've told everyone.

When I was done and all the marshmallows were separated from the oats, I got hid the box filled with the marshmallows and took the oats outside. I then sat out on the patio and began throwing them at some birds. They started getting too close for comfort for me, so I started throwing them up in the air.

The birds would actually fly up into the air and catch them! I decided to use this to my advantage and I taught them a few tricks. I even gave them names.

The one with a blue stripe down his side was Racer, after the snake.

The one with a scar down his right eye was Scar, and you can probably guess why.

The one with black dots all over his body was Dotty, because it made her look quite feminine.

And the one with a red pattern on his back was Fira, after a random variation of the word 'fire'.

At one point, Sasori came out.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked, eyeing the small baggy of oats that I was holding.

"Nothing." I responded. I threw one of the oats up in the air and Racer quickly flew by, doing a mid-air roll and loop before catching it and eating it.

"SHOW OFF!" I yelled, smiling.

Sasori tilted his head curiously.

"You've been doing WAY more than NOTHING out here, haven't you?" he asked, eyeing me up and down.

"No. They did that on their own. I'm just feeding them." I said, throwing a handful up into the air and watching as all of them did their absolute best to show off while eating the oats.

"Dotty! Tuck your left wing in when you do the roll! It gives you better leverage!" I yelled, giving her another chance to redeem herself. She successfully tucked said wing in and her form looked much more professional.

He shook his head and smiled before going inside, leaving me to my work with the birds who would do almost anything for food.

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See what I mean? alright... Please review.


	48. Chapter 48: Coffee and BF drama

Hi. Sorry I left you guys for so long. I've been as busy as hell for the past few days and I couldn't find the time to get to my computer. And I'm only gonna get busier since school is sttarting August 23rd, and we have the fair and powow happening, so I'm gonna be gone for a little while.

Don't own. I just don't.

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Kimiko's POV

After about two more weeks, which would make it a month since Makoto and I started dating, we decided to go steady, as it would prevent confusion in the future since we both just wanted to start getting serious. I also knew better than to tell Hidan and Deidara, who had basically turned into my relationship consultants by that point. But we all need our little secrets.

I woke up that morning at 5:20, and it was one of those mornings where you're too tired to get up, but you can't go back to sleep. By that time, I knew the coffee maker had kicked on, so I got up and went to get a cup since I knew no one would be able to stop me. I liked Starbucks better, but with Kakuzu around and the fact that I still wasn't allowed to handle the share I got from that whole Walmart incident, I rarely ever got that pleasure.

I lazily sat down on the counter next to the coffee maker and took a sip of my coffee. I used that special creamer that makes the coffee taste like hot chocolate, and all that stuff.

After about 5 minutes, Itachi walked in.

It must have been very awkward for him because I stared at him for several minutes. I have a very intimidating stare, and it only added to the tension because this was one of those rare times where I felt like making eye contact. That's right; I still haven't gotten over that.

After several awkward minutes of a psychopathic 11 year old staring at him, he snapped and returned the stare.

"What are you doing?" He asked, almost afraid to get an answer.

"I'm drinking coffee." I replied, lifting the cup to my lips.

"You know Konan doesn't like it when you do that." He said, getting himself a cup.

"It's one of those mornings…" I said in a tired tone, taking a sip.

He nodded in understanding and didn't question me further than that.

I finished my cup of coffee, got some left over catfish and udon from the fridge, and went into the dining room to sit with Itachi.

After a while of eating in silence, he looked at me.

"Why did you follow me out here?" He asked, more curiosity than annoyance in his voice.

"Well, dining alone is no fun unless you have Schizophrenia, like I probably have." I said, stuffing some udon noodles in my mouth.

He chuckled for several seconds.

"You need to start writing this stuff down…" He said, brushing some of his black hair behind his ear.

"If I did, the magic bumblebees would come and steal it." I said, looking around suspiciously. Just then, Deidara and Sasori walked in.

They stared at us curiously for a while.

"I'm not even going to ask…" Sasori mumbled, getting himself something to eat. Deidara on the other hand, decided to question me on this rather odd subject.

"I thought you liked them, un…?" He asked, taking a seat next to me.

"Yeah, but they made an alliance with the little evil praying mantis's." I said grudgingly, crossing my arms.

I got several looks from everyone in the room.

"What? You never noticed them before? You see, have you ever noticed how when you put stuff like phone chargers or earphones away and sometimes when you come back they're all tangled up even though you haven't touched them? That's what the evil praying mantis's do. And it's been happening to me a lot lately, and that could only mean that the magic bumblebees made nice with them." I explained, rolling my eyes at their own ignorance.

I got even more quizzical looks, but they eventually waved it off.

When nearly everyone was seated at breakfast, Deidara left his orange juice next to me, and I knocked it over, making it spill onto the floor.

Leader-Sama walked in at that moment, and he looked at the mess.

"Why is there orange juice spilt on the floor?" He asked, sounding quite annoyed.

I glanced around nervously for several seconds before quickly throwing a newspaper down on the mess.

"What orange juice?" I asked, looking up at him.

I heard a few people choke on their food and a few restrained giggles.

"Nice save, hm." Deidara muttered to me.

"The cool thing is that I can think of stuff like that in no time at all." I mumbled back, going back to what I was doing before the orange juice was knocked on the floor. Leader-Sama by that time had shook his head and took his seat, not wanting to question me any further.

After breakfast, I went to my bedroom to play Animal Crossing City Folk. Hidan and Deidara came and decided to watch me, which I was fine with.

Right in the middle of playing hide and seek with some of my neighbors, my cell phone rang. I blindly felt around for several seconds before finding it.

"Hiyo?" I answered, using my signature greating.

"Hi Imi." Makoto said.

"Hey Oto-kun." I said, finding my second neighbor. One left.

"How's my girl today?" He asked, making me blush, which I slapped myself for doing.

"Oh , I'm just fine. How about you?" I asked, finding my last neighbor.

"I'm fine. Haven't heard from you in a while." He commented.

"Yeah, sorry. Normally you're the one who calls so I was kinda waiting for you." I mumbled, selling what I got for winning hide and seek since I didn't like it.

"Really? Well, have you heard from any one? My crew went out on missions and I didn't hear anything about your crew." He said thoughtfully.

"I heard from Hanako, who heard from Miyu, who went to go see Kenji and Akihiko, who are in the hospital because they both got attacked by wild dogs. I was going to ask you if you knew about that." I said, turning my full attention to him.

"No, I had no idea about that. Where are you're dogs?" He asked.

"What are you implying?" I asked half suspiciously.

"Nothing. It's just that your dogs are a little on the wild side since they're almost always outside. I just wanted to be on the safe side." He said, making me feel a little betrayed.

"Are you saying that MY dogs did that to Akihiko and Kenji? How could you? They're great dogs and they would NEVER hurt any of my friends. Look, if you're gonna start pointing fingers at me and my associates, maybe I can't trust you. Bye." I said, hanging up.

'Damnit…' I thought, sighing and burying my face in my hands.

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Drama... Well, please give me some reviews. I might get encouraged enough to super type another chappie!


	49. Chapter 49: Random stuff and confronting

Phew... Sorry I haven't been updating. I was recovering from the worst writer's block I've ever had in my short life... Anyways, I supertyped this one 'cause a few ideas managed to escape my fried brain. :D

WARNING: MUSHY AND CHEESY TOWARDS THE END.

DON'T OWN.

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Kimiko's POV

'Relationships are just a load of CRAP…' I thought, refusing to cry, although I was in the perfect position. Hidan had left the room just before the phone rang, so I was alone.

I felt a familiar burning sensation in the back of my eyes and before I knew it, I could feel tears seeping through my fingers. I mentally slapped myself and wiped the tears off, a reflex that was all too familiar in my brain.

After regaining some dignity, I turned off my cell phone since I didn't feel like dealing with him at that time.

I got out my beloved MP3 player and browsed the pictures I had taken with the camera on it. There wasn't very much, just a few hastily taken sunsets, sunrises, a few hailstones the size of golf balls, Rainy and Sunny, and a picture of some random dog with a spring in its neck, along with some other random stuff that I had taken, well, randomly.

I finally pulled myself together enough to put away my prized possession and do something at least remotely productive. And what is this so called, 'productive' thing?

Drawing

I hadn't drawn a picture in a few weeks, so it would be nice to feel my hand swiftly gliding across a clean, white page, leaving a trail of color that would stand out from the rest of the blank paper.

I pulled out a random sketchbook and grabbed a random colored pencil. I started scribbling down an image that had burned itself into my mind, and wouldn't leave until I conveyed it into a work of art.

It ended up being a rather detailed image of Rainy and Sunny, both sitting under a tree. She smiled and shut the book, checking the time.

5:37.

She started at 4:45.

"Holy moose crap… I'm weird…" I muttered, staring dumbfounded at the clock.

I heard a thump outside the room, so I grabbed my nerf gun and walked to the door. I was in a very vulnerable state, so you can't blame me for wanting to shoot someone's head off with foam darts.

I stood there for a few seconds, mentally preparing myself. Then, I barrel rolled out the door and stood up, gun ready to fire. I looked around, but I couldn't see anyone else, so I let the gun and my guard drop.

The next thing I knew, I was lying face down on the cold floor, a large weight resting on my back.

"KIMI-HIME! Tobi was looking for you everywhere!" Tobi chimed, still sitting on me.

"I'm glad to hear that, Tobi. Now would you get the freak off me?" I murmured sharply, wiggling around profusely under his weight.

"Why?" Tobi asked, making me sigh irritably.

"Because… I'm slowly being crushed to death by you…" I huffed out, my oxygen intake dropping due to the fact that Tobi, a man at least twice my size, was sitting on top of me.

"Is that bad, Kimi-san?" Tobi asked, looking down at me.

"Y… Yes Tobi. It's very… very… bad…" I breathed heavily, feeling the wind being pushed out of me.

"Oh. Okay. Tobi will get off Kimi-san now." Tobi said, climbing off me.

I pressed my upper body up and breathed in some new air, which my crushed lungs gratefully took in.

After recapturing my breath, I looked up at Tobi with a death stare I had been observing Konan use.

Tobi got the message and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Damn koinu (1)…" I muttered under my breath, standing up and stretching as to make sure I didn't receive any serious injury from a man landing on top of me from Jashin knows where…

After making sure I wasn't internally damaged, I leaned down, grabbed my gun, and took it back to my room.

"Boo." A familiar voice whispered behind me.

I sighed audibly.

"There you are, Kumo'." I murmured, not even turning to face him.

"What's eating you?" He asked, his yankee accent tingeing his calm voice.

"Nothing. My boyfriend is accusing Rainy and Sunny of ganging up on two of HIS gang members…" I muttered, contradicting my own answer.

"Well, I died before I got a girlfriend, so I don't know what to tell you, really…" Kumomaru deadpanned, his eyes finding their way to the ceiling.

"I wouldn't expect you to tell me anything. Just needed to tell someone, that's all…" I muttered, turning and giving him a glance of warm acknowledgement before turning and hiding the gun back in it's place.

He smiled, and could've sworn I saw a blush grace his pale face. He disappeared before I could confirm it, but I knew he was.

I smirked to myself and shook my head.

At dinner that night, I didn't eat anything. I just fed it to my pets, who were lying under the table.

We were all eerily silent that particular night, and something happened which would probably change their whole perspective on me.

My cell phone, which was in my back pocket of my jean shorts, started vibrating, then the ringtone started. Yeah, my butt made the mistake of turning it on, and I made the mistake of leaving it on the ring AND vibrate setting.

Everyone in the room looked at me, since I was the one who jumped the highest.

I stood up enough so I could pull it out of my pocket, then I answered it since I didn't want it vibrating and having 'airplanes' blaring out of it in the dead silence of the dining hall, with all the stares directed at me, since I was it's owner and it would be uncomfortable.

"Hello?" I answered, my voice a little hushed by all the stares still turned towards me.

"'Imi? Thank jashin you finally answered me…" Makoto stated, sighing in relief.

"Oto? Look, I don't feel like talking to you-" I was cut off by him cutting in.

"Alright, alright. Before you start ranting on about me and my stupidity, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I was jumping to conclusions and I never should've accused you of something that you weren't responsible for. I'm just REALLY sorry…"He said, making me reconsider my earlier treatment towards him. I quickly snapped out of it when I remembered how he almost made me cry.

"If I forgive you, then what's gonna happen? Are you just gonna keep making excuses to get mad at me? I started freaking CRYING, man. CRYING. Do you know what that does to an emotionally distraught person like me? If this is how it's always gonna be, then-" He once again cut me off.

"Imi, Imi. Alright, look… I hate it when you're hurting like this, and it's killing me that I'M the one who caused it. I'm SO SORRY… Just REALLY, REALLY, sorry." He stated. I thought I heard his voice crack.

"Look, I-… I KNOW I overreacted, but you can't blame me. You KNOW my dogs wouldn't do that, and it made me feel like you just wanted an excuse to break up with me…" I trailed off, hearing him gasp with realization.

"Oh god… THAT'S what this is about? I could never in a million years do something like that. I need you more than you need me. Do you really think I would just dump such an amazing girl like you?" He asked, making me blush.

"Well, if what you're saying is true, then why was I just crying?" I shot back, doubt clouding my head.

"I was feeling mad, okay? I wasn't thinking. If I was, I'd be making sure YOU were okay." He finished, making me blush considerably.

"Well, if you need me that bad, I guess I can forgive you…" I muttered, rolling my eyes and smirking.

"Good. I think I better go before I say something stupid again. Bye pretty girl." He said, preparing to hang up. I blushed heavily again.

"Alright, bye bye Oto-kun." I said, hanging up before him. I smirked in my own little devilish way, feeling the blush still burning at me.

* * *

Yeah... As you can clearly tell, I JUST wrote the second half of this story, so that's why it got good all of a sudden. Anyways, I would apprectiate some reviews.


	50. Chapter 50: The chase

Hiya! I super-typed this for ya'll, so please enjoy.

DON'T OWN NOTHING.

* * *

Then, I remembered something.

The entire Akatsuki organization was still staring right at me.

'Oh fuck…' I thought, feeling the glares being directed towards me.

"Don't you just LOVE it when you find your phone that way?" I said, remembering how nice it feels to be sitting on a phone that's vibrating, trying to change a subject that I KNEW I couldn't avoid.

"Who was that?" Leader-Sama asked, his peculiar ringed eyes directed towards me, like everyone else's.

"Oh that? That was…-" I said slowly, my mind racing, trying to look for a good answer. Before I could finish my sentence, I had bolted out of my chair and was already half way across the hideout

After about an hour of being chased, I had managed to set a small and containable fire, completely taken out 5 air conditioners, busted out a window, wasted an entire bottle of clear soap on a hallway floor, destroyed an entire bathroom, wiped out an entire race of cookies, and duct taped several members to the back of their bedroom doors before Tobi managed to trap me in a closet.

Pein's POV

"Damn, she's fast…" Itachi said, still panting. He had been running after her, and had to cut down the members who had been taped to their bedroom doors, so you can bet that he was quite tired.

"And where'd she get the blow torch?" Kisame asked, looking down at the still hot blow torch we had wrestled away from the currently contained 11 year-old.

I could still hear her in the closet, screaming and banging on the door, trying to escape the darkness of the confined space.

"Is she really this freakin' energetic? I thought it was gonna be so much easier than this…" Hidan said, barely able to stand.

"I know… Is she on crack or something?" Konan asked, her voice muffled by the couch cushion since she was lying face down on it.

After several minutes of resting, the banging and screaming coming from the closet stopped, and it grew eerily silent, and I could hear nothing but everyone else panting and trying to stay conscious.

"If the only way you guys could trap me is by locking me in a closet, you must not be very agile." Kimiko muttered through the door, purposely trying to piss us off.

"Shut up, brat." Kakuzu said, banging on the door a few times.

"Hit a nerve, did I?" She asked, a smirk most likely on her face.

"I said, SHUT UP!" Kakuzu yelled, banging on the door harder.

It got quiet for a while, and we assumed she was out of energy.

I made the mistake of unlocking the door.

"FREEDOM!" She yelled, already in the next room.

"DAMNIT LEADER-SAMA!" everyone yelled in unison. It took several more hours to catch her, and this time, it took a lot more work since it seemed that she would never go down.

"Can't catch me!" she yelled, whacking the back of Hidan's head as she ran by him. He couldn't catch her, no matter how fast he tried to be.

"DAMNIT BRAT! JUST HOLD STILL!" He yelled, running after her.

"NO! YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME!" She yelled back, taking a sharp u-turn, causing Hidan to slam into a nearby wall.

"KIMIKO! THE CHICKEN IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU! LOOK OUT!" Itachi yelled suddenly, catching all our attention.

"WHERE?" Kimiko yelled, looking around frantically, as she seemed to be quite afraid of chickens. She ran into a wall, which stunned her long enough for Itachi to tackle her and restrain her.

"Got her…" Itachi muttered triumphantly.

"Good. Now… HIDAN! DEIDARA! GET IN HERE!" I yelled, turning my attention to the two idiots.

They both dragged themselves into the room, and seeing that Kimiko had been caught and restrained, let out a sigh of relief.

"DON'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING HE SAYS!" Kimiko exclaimed before Itachi pushed her arms upwards in a hard grip that made her squeal in pain.

I ignored her, and continued to give the terrorist and zealot death stares.

"You told me you would keep me posted on these two's relationship! What happened?" I asked, whacking both of them upside their heads.

"He knows about that? YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T SPEAK OF IT!" Kimiko yelled, struggling in Itachi's grasp, trying to ignore the pain it was causing her.

"HURRY! THAT SUGAR RUSH IS GONNA KICK IN ANY SECOND!" Itachi yelled, trying to get her into a head lock.

"We're sorry, hm! She stopped telling us stuff about 3 weeks ago! We honestly didn't know anything about this, un!" Deidara said, trying to ignore the mortal combat scene unfolding behind me.

I turned around just in time to see Kimiko do her signature move.

She had gotten enough leverage to kick him where it hurts, and, in pain, he loosened his grip just enough for her to free herself. She ran towards Hidan and Deidara with blinding speed. The two had enough time to turn and run, and they managed to make it outside to the training grounds.

All we saw for the next few hours was a big cloud of dust, and all we heard was the 3 of them screaming profanities at each other, and the occasional explosion.

* * *

Uh-huh... I got my first flame not too long ago, and I just have one thing to say to this person.

You probably don't even have a reason to at least tell me WHY you think it sucks. If you have a problem, PM me and tell me what I could do to make this story better. If you don't have an account, sign up and see how hard it is to stay perfect all the time.

Oooo, burn...

Okay, review. And if you're thinking about flaming, just remember that I OWNED you just now. Okay, byebye. X3


	51. Chapter 51: Chapter with no name again

Hi. Sorry I was gone. I've been SUPER BUSY with X-country and perhaps basketball if I get up enough courage to sign up, but I found enough time between homework and my hectic schedule to supertype this. Who knew it was gonna be this much work...

I DON'T OWN. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS. Now, I must go cry in a corner.

* * *

After several more sadly hilarious hours of explosions, the sun had started to rise, and everyone who wasn't involved in the fight was already dozing lightly. Hidan and Deidara were still in danger of getting massacred by the still sugar-high Kimiko.

Eventually, Kimiko, being the clumsy person she is, tripped on a rock and passed out from the sugar rush.

Hidan and Deidara were finally able to relax, and both collapsed on the ground in exhaustion.

"SHIT… SHE'S... SHE'S ENERGETIC!" Hidan yelled, trying to catch his breath.

"C-can we… just… leave… her out here, un?" Deidara asked, also trying to catch his breath.

"That might be a good idea… I'm tired…" Kisame said, yawning.

We went inside and fell asleep for a while, not really caring about the psychopathic 11 year-old currently passed out in the backyard.

Kimiko's POV

All I remember was chasing Hidan and Deidara one second, and the next second, I was on the ground, barely able to move.

I woke up in the middle of the dilapidated training grounds, the hot afternoon sun shining down on me and the remains of the training field.

I sat up, but was struck with a headache so immense that I almost fainted.

I groaned and grabbed my head, trying to resist the urge to throw up.

"Stupid emotions… Always getting me into trouble…" I muttered, remembering how I got into a mess like this in the first place. If I would've just cooperated and given out the necessary information instead of destroying a bathroom and some other unmentionable stuff, I wouldn't have been lying out in the backyard, with a monstrous headache in the middle of a hot summer afternoon.

I got up, and stood there for a few minutes to keep whatever was left in my stomach down before jumping up into the branches of a nearby tree to cool down.

'This only proves that emotions only get in the way, you know…' My conscience said in a told-you-so tone of voice.

'Shut up, me. It's better than feeling nothing at all, as you may or may not know.' I thought back, rubbing my temples and lying down on the tree limb.

'You know I'm right, so don't deny it.' My conscience muttered back smugly.

'I thought I told you to shut up. And I know you're right. But I'm just going to say that I deny it because I'm just starting to realize what true happiness is, so don't ruin it for me just yet.' I muttered back, closing my eyes. I slowly drifted off, only to be rudely disturbed a rather short hour or two later.

Pein's POV

I went back out with Hidan and Deidara, since I was done questioning them. Konan said we had to go back out and get Kimiko, and I just wanted to drag Hidan and Deidara out there because I knew they were still scared of her.

When we got to the spot we had left her in, she wasn't there.

"OHMYGOD SHE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED, UN. AWESOME!" Deidara said, doing a quick happy dance.

"Who'd wanna kidnap her in the state she was in when we left?" I muttered to myself, looking around.

"KIMIKO! WHERE'RE YOU AT?" I yelled suddenly.

My question was answered when she fell out of a nearby tree and groaned in pain.

"Eh? Oh crap it's the failed relationship counselors…" She muttered under her breath, rubbing her head.

"What were you fuckin' doing in a tree?" Hidan asked, half-expecting her to charge at him.

"Have you noticed the heat out here? I already have a 2nd degree burn on my arm from that blow torch that SOMEBODY wrestled away from while it was ON… I don't need any sunburns to take care of…" She said, glaring at me in particular.

"Well, if you promise not to kill anyone, you can come in." I said, helping her up.

"Fine… Wait, wait… Hold that thought for a second…" She said turning and quickly walking into a cluster of trees.

She came back twenty minutes later.

"What did you just do, hm?"Deidara asked, confused.

"I had to hurl, so I went over there. Okay, I'm going in now to go sit in front of one of the very few air conditioners that works. Bye-bye." She said, turning and walking towards the hideout.

We stood there for a while before following.

She went to the nearest air conditioner and sat directly in front of it, not caring about much else besides staying cool.

"I figure that I could be set for life if I reported everything based on what happened last night." Kimiko said still facing the fan.

We all stared at her oddly for a minute or two.

"Just sayin'…" She said, turning and glancing at us before shrugging and going back to staying cool.

"Hey Kakuzu? Why can't we get a pool?" Kimiko asked after several minutes of silence.

"Because it's almost fall and it wouldn't be worth the effort or money." Kakuzu answered quickly.

"That makes sense." She replied, shrugging.

"Although, it would cost less because there's already a dent in the ground outside half the size of Walmart..." I muttered, more to myself than anyone else.

"Aww, I have to throw up again…" Kimiko said, getting up and running for the nearest bathroom.

After about 10 minutes, she came back out and sat back in front of the AC.

"My business… is done…" she said, sighing contently.

"And what business what that?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

"Puking up whatever is left to puke in my system. I thought you would've figured that out by now." She replied, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Oh crap… I have to go wee now… Off to another bathroom…" She said, getting up and heading for another bathroom.

She tripped on air and landed on Konan, which was better than landing on the floor.

"Ow… Stupid oxygen… Always trying to assassinate me…" Kimiko murmured, trying to stand up.

"Ow… Konan! Don't' touch my face! It hurts…" Kimiko whined, as Konan had accidently rubbed against her face.

"Wait… Oh, you got a sunburn… on your face too…" Konan said, examining Kimiko's face, making her grimace when Konan's fingers brushed across her face.

"Oh, that reminds me… I still have to go wee." Kimiko said, pulling away from Konan and disappearing down a corridor.

"How did that remind her of-…? You know what? I don't want to know…" Sasori murmured, shaking his head.

"It's all about connective thinking, Sasori, my dear." Kimiko yelled from the direction she had ran only moments before.

* * *

Okay... So, I have SO MANY ideas that I've been getting during the very rare me time I have, so don't worry. And by the end of October, I should done with sports until spring, then I might go for track, but that's a maybe. Okay, I have to go and fail horribly at my extra curricular activities. PLZ review so I can feel like I accomplished something in the short amount of free time I have because I've just been doing A LOT of epic fails lately...


	52. Chapter 52: HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!

HI! *Waves energetically* I'M SO SO SO SORRY! The internet was out for jashin knows how long, all my afterschool activities got in the way... Plus some toher stuff I won't bother mentioning because I'm tired. TT-TT...

I know Halloween was a long time ago, but at least I tried. I hope you still like it.

Anyway, if you have to go wee, you better go now because this is A LONG-ASS CHAPPIE...

*boring elevator music plays while waiting for those who left to go wee*

Okay, enjoy the chappie.

I DON'T OWN NOTHIN', MAN. NOTHIN'.

* * *

As the cold October wind blew through the brilliantly colored trees, knocking vividly pigmented leaves across the hardening ground, I twirled a strand of my soft black hair in my fingers, impassively staring out of the illegally tinted car window at the gorgeous scenery, the newly brightening sky slowly bringing life back to the cold, sleepy world.

"Why do we have to start shopping this friggin' early, Leader-Sama?" I asked, turning my head to look at Leader-Sama, who sat in the driver seat. You can't blame me for asking. It was 7:45 in the morning.

"Because, we'll have more time to shop and that stalker boy won't be able to find us." He explained simply, his strange eyes still focused solely on the road. If I hadn't already told you, there was this strange little boy always skulking around the hideout grounds, watching our every move once we got into close proximity of a window.

Zetsu tried to catch him and eat him, but the boy just ran until he came to a field of cattle, where Zetsu spent the next few hours doing Jashin knows what…

All that I knew was that about 10 cattle where gone from the herd when he returned.

I sighed in defeat, as both were good points.

"I can't help but think that staying in bed still would've been the better choice…" I muttered, holding back a yawn.

"Just shut up and quit being a bitch, Kiki." Hidan said, poking the back of my head.

A quiet and defeated 'pft' was my only response.

Once we had pulled up into the parking lot of the mall, I unfastened my seatbelt and hopped out of the car, shivering once the cold, crisp air pierced through my sweater.

Since we were 'wanted criminals' and all that other stupid crap, we had to assume the identities of 'normal people', so sadly, I wasn't able to wear my warm and stylish Akatsuki cloak.

I pulled my sweater tighter around me and followed everyone else, mindlessly toying around with Iwa the rock, who was occupying one of my sweater pockets.

"Alright, we'll meet back here at 12:00 for lunch, M'kay?" Konan stated gingerly once we had walked into the mall through one of the many entrances.

I taught her the 'M'kay' thing.

"But, it's only 7:54." Sasori pointed out, checking his phone to see if his guess was correct, which it indeed was.

"Well, this _is_ the second biggest mall in the country. You'd be lucky get from one end to the other in the time we have." Konan muttered, checking her phone to see if Sasori's guess was correct also.

We all nodded knowingly.

"So… Are we doing this in groups, or can we go alone?" I asked, tilting my head to the side with ulterior motives in mind.

"Well, everyone can go off alone except you." Konan said, smirking evilly at my overly dramatic anime reaction.

"C'mon, I'm armed to the teeth with badass ninja weaponry, I have a phone, I'm a chuunin, and I can handle myself just fine!" I whined, already feeling like I had lost the battle.

"I thought I told you to stop being a bitch, Kiki." Hidan said, poking the back of my head again.

Another defeated 'pft' came from me, and I hung my head as I followed my assigned mall buddy.

Sadly, it just had to be Itachi.

As we wandered through the immense mall, I found out how dull he actually was. (1)

I mean, I never noticed it before, what with me never really being alone with him all that much, but now that I was alone with him, he seemed rather quiet and dull. Kind of like I used to be.

"Well, where are we going first?" He asked, already having an idea of how I would answer.

"Hot Topic." I answered quickly.

I bought a Gir t-shirt, some new nail polish, a few chains for my pants, and a matching chain necklace, bracelets, and anklets. I also bought a ring saying 'bitch' on it to humor Hidan.

I didn't see what Itachi bought, but he must've enjoyed himself because he was smirking once we walked out of latter mentioned store.

"We should call Zetsu and make him take these out to the car 'cause I don't want to look like a mall rat." I said, pulling out my cell phone.

"Good idea…" Itachi mumbled, deciding to text everyone else and tell them my brilliant idea.

"Yo Zetsu?" I asked once he had answered.

"What, Kimi?" He asked, sighing.

"Could you come and take Itachi and me's bags out to the car? We look like fuckin' mall rats carrying these bags around." I said, glancing up at Itachi to see if I had worded that correctly.

"Alright fine… Where're you at?" He asked, sighing in defeat.

"In front of Hot Topic." I answered.

"Emo, much?" he asked.

"Where did you expect us to go first? Toys 'R' us or something?" I asked sarcastically.

"That actually would've been hilarious." He responded.

"Shaddap, you overgrown flytrap." I said, holding in a laugh.

"Hey, I see you guys. Okay, see you in 0 seconds." He said, hanging up.

No sooner had a put the phone in my pocket he appeared in front of us.

"Your bags?" He asked, holding his hand out.

We handed them over without complaint.

"How have you been getting around without being noticed?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"I can phase through walls and floors. I'm whooping ninja ass right now." He said, smirking boastfully before leaving by sinking into the floor.

He had a point. He _was_ kicking ninja ass by the way he was skulking around like that.

"We just got served, didn't we?" Itachi asked.

"Yup…" I responded.

After an awkward silence, we decided to grab a stick of dango and a cinnamon roll or two at one of the nearby stands.

We then went to Starbucks and got coffee.

He promised that he wouldn't tell Konan.

Then, we decided to get our hair done.

I would be getting a wash, cut, and a few temporary colored streaks put in.

I didn't really listen to what Itachi was getting, because I found it quite degrading for both him and I that his hair was longer than mine, and that he actually took pride in how it looked.

After that, we realized that we only had 5 minutes to get to the food court for lunch, and it would probably take us 20 minutes if we walked like normal people.

So, we decided to pull it off ninja style.

Those poor clueless people… They were absolutely terrified as we zoomed by them, making things fly up into the air like sonic the hedgehog does when we runs by crowded places.

We ran so fast I don't think they could even find us if they went frame by frame on the surveillance cameras.

But bragging aside, we made it to the food court with 2 and a half minutes to spare.

When we got there, we decided to go ahead and get something to eat while we waited for everyone else.

Pein's POV

Once we had all arrived at the food court and reported approximately how much money we had spent, Kakuzu started bitching us out.

The only thing that stopped him was when Kimiko threw a $100 bill at his face.

"QUIT BEIN' A BITCH ALREADY…" She said, leaning back in her chair and brushing her hood back so she could run her fingers through her hair.

"Oh, it turned out better than they said it would…" Itachi mumbled, picking up a few strands of her newly streaked hair and examining it.

"Really? To be honest, I thought those people were big fat liars, but I guess they're legit..." Kimiko responded, again running a hand through her still damp hair.

"What colors did you put have them put in?" Konan asked, scooting her chair closer to Kimiko's.

"2 different shades of red, I think." Kimiko responded.

"No, it was 4, actually." Itachi corrected.

"Where'd you get 100 dollars from anyway?" Kakuzu asked, knowing that he hadn't given her such an amount of money in the first place.

Kimiko's eyes brightened, as though she had just remembered something good.

"Oh, right… This one dude came and bumped into me, so I pick pocketed him. Turns out he had about 1,000 ryo, plus about 200 dollars. Of course then he tried to roundhouse kick me, so I racked him and stole his watch." She explained, taking a drink of Tobi's milkshake.

Tobi only stared at her.

Itachi stared at her for a moment, as though trying to figure out if she was joking or not.

"Oh yeah, I didn't tell you about that… Okay, so remember when we went to the bathroom on separate levels? (2)" Kimiko asked Itachi, trying to give him an idea of when it had happened.

He quickly remembered and nodded.

"But that was only for like, 20 seconds." He pointed out, still trying to find a logical explanation for what happened.

"You'd be amazed by what I can do in 20 seconds…" Kimiko murmured, pulling out her phone and checking the time.

I didn't really notice until just then, but I could see that her eyes were set in a way that only the Akatsuki are capable of having their eyes set.

Evil intention.

"So do we have a time set for leaving this place, or what?" Zetsu asked, probably directed at me or Konan.

"Well, I thought we would just wing it until whenever, since it doesn't close until 10:00." I replied, glancing at Konan for approval.

She nodded, and we didn't continue the subject anymore than that.

After finishing lunch, Kimiko had finally convinced Konan into letting her go off alone. Although, she was to call or text Konan every half hour, which didn't seem all that important to Kimiko, as long as she had freedom.

There was another quirk to add to the list.

Kimiko craved freedom in any form.

Kimiko's POV

I started walking off in the direction of the nearest map of the mall. There was only one store I had in mind; the largest Halloween store in the building. I was planning on buying up on props and a costume for myself.

Just when I got to the map display, my phone started ringing.

At first, I thought that perhaps it was just Konan checking on me, but I had enough sense to look at the caller ID.

Makoto

I mentally fell over in relief.

"Hello?" I answered, surprising several people standing near me by how sweet and soft my voice sounded. Most people think by just looking at me, I would have a totally different voice than what I actually have.

"Hi Pretty Girl. What're doing?" He asked, making me hold down a blush.

"I'm at the mall. We decided to get a jump on some Halloween shopping. I'm on my own for once. I'm heading to the biggest Halloween store they got, but I have to find it on this damn big map first…" I said, still staring at the map, half-expecting the answer to appear right in front of me.

"Do ya need a minute of silence?" He asked, already knowing what I was going to say.

"Yup."

After about a minute of me quietly talking to myself, I finally found it and started on my way.

"Found it. On my way there now." I said, finally feeling like I was doing something productive.

"What time did you get there this morning?" he asked, trying to start a conversation.

"7:50." I answered, holding back another yawn.

"Holy shit that's early." He commented.

"That's what I was gonna say. But Leader-Sama says that we won't have to rush around at the last minute to get the shopping done if we start now, and plus there's a stalker boy stalking our house of stalkers." I said, trying not to use the word 'stalk' in my sentence so many times and failing horribly.

"… What's a stalker boy doing around your house?" he asked.

"I dunno. Zetsu tried to eat said stalker boy, but he just got side-tracked by a group of cattle that he was led to." I explained, nearing the store.

"Well, I don't see any reason to get rid of him yet, as long as he's not doing anything else besides stalking you guys." He analyzed.

"Oh, I'm here. Any suggestions as to what I should look at first?" I asked, looking around at my new surroundings.

The first thing that popped out at you was the huge mannequin of a werewolf, its fangs dripping with crimson liquid and its face forever frozen in a crude snarl.

The first thought that crossed my mind was 'am I supposed to be scared of that?' Seriously. Was I?

Then, there was the wall of spiders. A big web, made of cotton, was strewn across the rear wall of the store, fake spiders ranging from the size of my phone to the size of small children. The biggest one was in the very middle, and about my size, its thorax decorated with green and red, its eyes frozen wide and fangs cocked ready for its victim.

I was amazed that they could even fit it on the wall and not have the cotton web rip apart from the uneven weight.

It smelled like new plastic, blood, metal, new rubber, and cardboard in there, and I didn't mind it one bit, although I had to take one last whiff of my perfume that I had spritzed all over me before we left the hideout.

There were other mannequins on display, some meant to show different types of costumes, while others were there to scare you, like the werewolf.

There were different masks lining the walls; from the rubber kind that cover your entire face and have an elastic band to go around your head, all the way to the kind that just cover your eyes and give you that aristocratic feel when you wear them.

There was also whole outfits, the smaller pieces of the costume packed into a little plastic bag in front of the larger piece, such as the cape or the wings.

Then, there was the make-up.

Fake blood, materials to make fake cuts, scrapes, gashes, bruises, warts, scabs, and other wounds lined the shelves; the face paint, clown noses, sponge kits, and fake teeth right next to them.

The props were the best of all.

There were machetes, scythes, knives of all shapes and sizes, shuriken, kunai, whips, pitch forks, and other weapons of destruction, all either completely hollow plastic or covered in a thin layer of clear plastic with fake blood sloshing around inside, appearing as though something was just recently slaughtered with it.

Chains, cages, skeletons; both ivory white and faded yellow, as though forgotten for years and years, skulls, candles, zombies that seem to go perfectly anywhere, strobe lights, pumpkin and skull lights, fake bats, stickers that go on your windows and doors, tiny speakers that came with spooky sound effects and music, fake body parts, organs, bodily fluids, and other assortments Halloween appropriate all lined in organized aisles.

"I would recommend the costumes." He responded after careful consideration.

"Right." I replied, heading for the section I had my eye on.

"What did you plan on being?" He asked contently.

"… I didn't really consider it until right now… But… I kind of wanted to be something with-…" I stopped, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"Something with what?" He coaxed, suddenly interested.

"Never mind." I responded quickly.

"With what?"

I didn't answer.

"C'mon, just tell me!"

"No. It's too embarrassing."

"It can't be that bad."

I sighed.

"Fine… I wanted to be something with wings…"

He was quiet for a moment or two.

"That's all?"

"…Yeah…"

"That doesn't seem embarrassing to me."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think you would look really cute with wings."

"… Really?"

"Well, yeah."

"… Thanks."

After that, I felt a lot more comfortable.

Now, I had many options, but I managed to narrow it down to a butterfly, a winged devil, an angel, and a gothic fairy.

Decisions, decisions…

Later that day…

After Makoto and I had hung up, I rushed across the still-crowded mall, occasionally peering over ledges, climbing or dropping a level, examining groups of people, and looking into all the stores I walked passed when suddenly, a strange urge came over me to turn around.

I hesitantly turned, and who should I see but Hanako, standing there and fumbling around with her cell phone.

"Hi Hanako!" I greeted, walking up to her.

She jumped, but smiled when she saw me.

"Oh, hey Kimiko! Didn't expect to see you here." She commented, putting her phone away.

"I didn't either. You here alone?" I asked, checking my phone to see if Konan had texted me.

"Yeah; my parents are out on missions, my sisters are at the academy, and my brothers got part-time jobs at Walmart. I decided to sneak out and buy up." She explained, brushing a little of her blond hair behind her ear.

"Oh, well we got here at seven something and we've been here all day shopping." I explained, brushing my hood back so I could run my fingers through my still slightly damp hair.

"Oh my god, your hair is so cool!" She said, stepping forward and gently touching one of my newly colored strands of hair.

"Is it permanent?" She asked.

"No. It should wash out in a week or so. I'm going to get another color for Halloween." I explained.

"Gosh, you're so grown up… How old are you again? Eleven, right?" she asked.

"Yeah. Although everyone's been telling me I look 9." I responded.

"And what ninja rank are you? God, I'm just forgetting everything about you…" she said, rolling her eyes at her own forgetfulness.

"Chuunin." I replied, pulling my hood back up.

"Right... You were living in Konoha until about half a year ago, correct?" She asked, taking out a hair band and tying up her long blond hair.

"Yeah-huh; sadly enough, I don't have much proof of my existence, besides a few papers that I managed to sneak out of the village. Like I actually needed them, anyway…" I mumbled, peering over the ledge of the level, hoping to see who I was looking for.

Her face lit up in a way I can't explain, and she whipped out her phone, but that's when she saw the time.

"Oh, I gotta go. Bye." She said, throwing a wave over her shoulder before rushing off.

After about 20 seconds, I started rushing through the crowds again.

"Stupid Kakuzu is so friggin hard to find in a place like this…" I mumbled.

I needed more cash.

Then, I remembered that I was a ninja.

I formed a few hand-seals disguised as me playing with the drawstrings to my hood.

Then, I zoomed through the mall, in a fashion that could be called flash-stepping.

I was too busy looking through the crowds of people at blindingly high speeds, and I accidently crashed into another person who happened to also be flash-stepping.

"Itachi!" I said, surprised.

"Oh, hi Kimiko." He said, standing up, as we had knocked each other down.

After he had regained his footing, he helped me up.

"Are you looking for Kakuzu too?" He asked knowingly.

"Yeah; All I remember is walking into GameStop, and everything is a blur after that." I said in a confused tone of voice.

"You're not a normal child, are you?" He questioned, already knowing the answer.

"Tch, we all know that already…" I said, peering over another ledge.

I was suddenly struck upside the head with a great idea.

"Why am I so amazing?" I asked to myself.

Several moments later…

I stared down at the crowds of people and I looked into what stores I could, but Kakuzu was nowhere to be found.

"See anything, Itachi?" I asked, adjusting my hood.

"Nope." He responded.

"Everything is a lot harder to recognize when you're upside down…" I mumbled, receding further back into the shadows created by a few columns when someone had glanced up at me.

This person did a double take, then continued walking, shaking his head with a look of confusion on his face.

"You know we could just text him and ask him where he's at…" Itachi suggested suddenly.

We both mentally fell over.

'Yo Kaku. Where U ?' I texted, probably looking like the ultimate freak since I was still upside down.

"We must be weirdos with no lives of our own, because we apparently have nothing better to do with our time than hang upside down trying to stalk our treasurer in a mall." I said, waiting for Kakuzu to respond.

"Yeah, probably…" He replied.

'I'm starin' up U and Weasel.' Kakuzu texted.

I looked down, and sure enough, he was standing there, looking up at us.

"You dirty bastard." I said, jumping from the ceiling and landing on the floor in front of Kakuzu.

"How long were you standing there?" Itachi asked.

"I was following Kimiko around, and then I decided to humor you guys and now here we are." He said, making anime sun-veins appear on the backs of Itachi and I's heads.

"Just give us some money and we can all forget this over happened." I said, holding out my hand.

He rolled his eyes and reluctantly gave Itachi and me some more money, after which we parted ways.

I texted Konan and was on my way once again.

Now, I was very bored. And when I'm very bored, I need music. If I don't get music, the world will end.

I pulled my trusty MP3 Player out of my sweater pocket and turned it on.

The clock on it said that it was 3:20pm. But then again, that clock wasn't all that reliable.

I check my phone, and it said 3:20pm.

"I guess you were right for once." I said to my MP3, putting in the earphones.

After wandering around in the stores for several more hours, occasionally buying something out of impulse like any 11 year old child will do, I finally figured out why I had a hard time walking.

I was utterly exhausted.

I had good reason to be, because when I looked out of a nearby window, it had gotten quite dark. The last time I had seen out of the window, the sun was high in the sky.

Just as I was about to pull out my phone and complain to someone, I ran into Konan. Good thing too, because I knew it would be too much work to call her.

"Konan… I shopped 'til I dropped. Can we go now?" I whined, turning off my MP3 player, which I still had playing in my pocket. I left the earphones in because I was too lazy to take them out.

"Hmm, you know, I'm getting a little tired too, now that you mention it." Konan said thoughtfully.

"Really? I thought you would be the least willing to leave out of everyone, but I guess not." I said, a little confused.

"Are you suggesting that I'm the girliest?" Konan questioned, sounding a little offended.

"No. You're tied with Itachi and Deidara, in my perspective." I assured.

She dropped the subject after that.

After calling a few people, we found that everyone else was pretty much fed up too.

Within about a 10 minute time period, we had all gathered in the food court, ready to leave.

"That was probably the longest shopping experience of my short and sad life." I commented, running a hand through my hair.

"You people are mall rats…" Zetsu mumbled, facing a different direction than us. Most likely, he was pouting.

"Shut up, Zetsu." Sasori grumbled tiredly.

"Let's go to the car already… I'm about to pass out…" I said, crawling onto Hidan's back. He was standing up, and although it would have been an easy feat for me to crawl onto his back, I was quite tired and I only made it up so far before I had to ask him for a boost.

The second we walked out of the mall, a cool breeze slammed into us, and I shivered.

It must have been a big shiver; because Hidan pulled me a little closer and made sure I had my head down so it would be out of the wind.

I was too emotionally drained to do anything about his sudden softness towards me; plus, I found the feeling I was getting to be pleasant.

It took everyone about 5 minutes to get to the car (mind you, this parking lot was enormous), and about a minute for us to pile in.

Itachi lifted me off of Hidan's back and crawled into the car with me, followed by Hidan.

I lasted as long as I could. I really did.

I fell asleep 10 minutes after we got into the car, which wasn't a lot.

All I remember was feeling Itachi scooting a little closer to me, and I must've put my head on his shoulder, and even if I did, he probably didn't mind because he didn't move.

Pein's POV

I drove along until we had made it to the hideout.

Kimiko was the only one asleep (which surprised me greatly, since everyone was droopy eyed when we had gotten into the car), and I couldn't blame her. She was the smallest one, and a day of shopping like that could wear anybody out.

She was a very light sleeper, and the sound of the car doors opening awoke her.

We all pitched in to haul the stuff inside; although we just dropped them on the floor and got something to eat in the kitchen.

I woke up the next morning lying in bed, still in my clothes.

It was at least 9:00 o'clock in the morning, but the sun was still a little low in the east. (3)

As it turns out, I was actually the only one who actually made it to bed.

Everyone else was lying around in the lounge room, dead asleep.

It felt like I had a slight hangover, so I went to the kitchen to get some coffee.

As I passed the garden room, I found Zetsu sleeping in his little flower pot.

I didn't know why, but I found it funny that he could actually sleep so peacefully.

I'm still not sure if I should be using plurals when talking about him (them, whatever)…

After about an hour of sitting around in the kitchen and watching TV on the tiny flat screen I made Kakuzu install in there.

Itachi and Konan got up at around 9:22. They claimed to have the same feeling of a hangover as I did, and I figured that shopping will do that to you.

Sasori got up at about 9:30. He too had the shopper's hangover.

Kisame and Deidara got up at 9:47, both complaining of headaches. Shopper's hangover was all I could diagnose.

Zetsu decided to get up at around 9:50, and the first thing he did was go outside and eat cattle that just happened to be wandering around.

Kakuzu reluctantly got up at 9:58, and since he felt like it, got Hidan up.

That left Kimiko and Tobi.

"My bet's on Tobi. Kimiko's a light sleeper." Kisame said, peering into the lounge room, where Kimiko and Tobi were sleeping.

"My money's on Kimiko. She was worn out last night." Kakuzu pointed out, looking into the lounge room in the same fashion as Kisame.

Kimiko started to stir, and the only people who were holding their breaths were Kakuzu and Hidan, since everyone else (including me) was rooting for Tobi.

Now, to understand what happened next, you have to know how those two were positioned.

Kimiko was lying on one of the couches, and Tobi was lying on the ground next to it.

Kimiko, trying to find a comfortable position, had to stretch out. Her left leg was slightly hanging off the couch, and this is where it got hilarious.

She uncharacteristically kicked.

Tobi was the only thing in her way of finding a comfy position. More specifically, his manhood.

He jumped, and bolted upright.

"THAT'S MY GIRL!" Kakuzu and Hidan whispered triumphantly, high fiving each other.

Tobi ate breakfast in silence, as this certain incident was very disturbing for him.

Kimiko slept until about 10:21.

But we didn't know she was awake until about 10:57.

She was pretty damn quiet.

Kimiko's POV

Now, 3 days before Halloween. I had an urge to do something to get into the Halloween spirit, and I don't mean scaring small children with scary masks.

…

"Hey, Leader-Sama?"

"Yes, Kimiko?"

"… Can we carve some pumpkins?"

"Sure, kid."

"Where are we going to get them? It's not like there's a lot of pumpkins left."

"Old man lemon has all kinds of pumpkins in his garden. He's just being a grumpy old bastard and not giving them away to piss everyone off."

"How do you know?"

"'cause I accidently almost wandered into his yard the other day while I was playing outside. Luckily, he was asleep in his chair out front, so he didn't notice me."

"You weirdo."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment, dumbass."

"You're the dumbass, Hidan."

"At least I don't friggin _play outside _like you do!"

"Shaddap, bastard."

"Will you two just shut up already?"

"Stay outta this, Sasori!"

"Hidan, Kimiko; quit fighting or I'll lock you in a room with Tobi while he's on crack."

"Sorry, Leader-Sama."

"So, how are we going to get those pumpkins out of Old man Lemon's yard? He never leaves his house and he only sleeps 4 hours a day."

"They're in his _back_yard, actually."

"Well that makes it easier."

"No duh."

"We should do this now, 'cause he should be starting to drift off in his chair out front right now."

"Do you stalk him or something?"

"No. I'm just good at logic and math."

"Tch, we had to teach you how to do long division."

"It only took me 7 minutes to figure it out! Well, if you think you're _so_ smart Kisame, then tell me, what's 12 times 11?"

"…"

"I thought so."

"Well, if _you're_ so smart, what's 12 times 8?"

"…96."

"4 times 6?"

"24."

"7 times 8?"

"56."

"13 times 4?"

"… 52…?"

"Smartass knows everything…"

"I got it right?"

"How should I know?"

"Can we go now? My IQ's dropping by the minute. And I think Kisame's just went up 3 points."

"Yeah. I think Kimiko's degraded all of you enough."

"Hey Kisame?"

"Eh?"

"Did you know the _answers_ to those multiplication questions you were asking me?"

"…"

"Oh, you've just been served by an 11 year old!"

"Shut up, smartass."

"At least I'm the smart one."

"Oh, burn."

"Shut up, Kakuzu."

"Let's go now."

"Yeah."

(4)

As I raced across the cold ground, the brilliantly colored trees nothing but blurs of color above me, a strong breeze shattered the still air, stinging my face with the cold.

My lungs burned with the chilled air, and my hands were numb and red.

"Slow down, Kimiko! We're not running yet!" Kakuzu snapped, struggling to keep up with me.

"Sorry. I was havin' a moment." I said, slowing.

"Save your moments until after we've captured the targets." Kakuzu advised.

"Why are we even taking the hilly path? It's only gonna slow us down!" Kakuzu barked.

"I didn't feel like taking you through the flat way!" I called over my shoulder, taking off again. To tell the truth, the path was basically just a great big hill. It was hell to climb up, but so fun to run down.

I heard Kakuzu sigh behind me as I dashed away, but he finally gave up.

When we had arrived at the end of the thin path that the dogs and I had made, I stopped everyone else.

"Who's checking Old Man Lemon?" I whispered, turning back to look at everyone else.

"I'll do it." Konan volunteered, hopping quietly into the trees above us.

It was dead silent for a few moments.

She surprised us by landing right in front of me.

I would've screamed had Tobi not covered my mouth.

"Shhh!" Everyone hissed.

"He's asleep." Konan informed, smirking.

We brushed past the thickets of the forest and walked quietly to his backyard.

"Heh, it's our old suburban." I said, running a hand across the cold, stalled car sitting on the edge of the backyard.

We kept walking until we came across his garden.

More specifically, his pumpkin patch.

It was not very large, but there was a lot of talent.

There were 27 pumpkins, all different sizes. Some were big and fat, while others could fit in the palm of my hand.

"I have no idea how that old fart could raise such good pumpkins…" Sasori muttered, staring across the pumpkin patch.

I chose 3 pumpkins.

The first one was so small it could fit in one hand. The second was about the size of my head. The third was the biggest in the patch.

I was about 78% sure that it weighed more than I did. To put it simply, it was about 2 feet tall. I didn't even want to guess how wide it was.

Now, I was pretty sad because I knew there was no way I would be able to get it to the hideout because it was so heavy and no one would want to carry it, but I was determined to have this enormous pumpkin.

I was absolutely and utterly _determined_, which is not natural for me, since I have the motivation of a rock.

I used a shuriken to slice the stalk, and everyone watched me in confused curiosity.

I handed Deidara the pumpkin the size of my head, and put the tiniest one in my pocket, since they would only get in the way.

"You'll never be able to figure out how to get it back to the hideout, you know." Hidan said challengingly, smiling evilly.

"Yes I will." I said in a calm, matter-of-factly way.

They figured that it would be funny to ditch me, so I sat there for a good 3 minutes by myself, sawing away at the pumpkin stalk.

When I had finally gotten it free, I started rolling it as quietly as I could out of the backyard and into the path.

I was still sad because I knew it probably would've been a better idea to have taken the flat path, but it was too late.

As I got to the top of the first large hill (which was a lot of work, mind you!) I got a brilliant idea.

Pein's POV

"You think we should go back and help her, hm?" Deidara asked.

"No. She'll give up eventually." I mumbled, smirking.

"Yeah. I'm surprised she hasn't already, hm." He mumbled, adjusting the pumpkins he was carrying in his arms.

"It's hard walking downhill with a pumpkin. I thought it would be easier than carrying it uphill." Konan commented.

"It's all about positioning." Sasori replied, deciding to use his chakra strings to carry the pumpkin rather than lugging it around.

Just then, we all heard what sounded like a pumpkin rolling down a hill, followed by a big round flash of orange flying by us.

Kimiko came running down behind it.

She was building up speed so she could pass her pumpkin, probably so she could stop it when we got to the hideout before it crashed into anything, all the while laughing rather psychopathically.

"Damn her smart mind…" Hidan mumbled, a chibi raincloud floating over his head.

We watched for a while, but finally decided to continue walking.

Until, we figured out what just happened.

Before long, there were pumpkins rolling down the hill in our own version of a pumpkin avalanche.

Poor Kimiko never saw it coming.

Kimiko's POV

Now, to understand what happened, you have to read carefully.

I was unaware that they were smart enough to follow my actions.

All I know was that I had stopped my big pumpkin, then about 10 more came out of no where and bumped into me in a way I would've found hilarious had it been someone else.

"WHY?" I yelled at the sky, pumpkins piled up around me.

"Thanks for catching 'em, kid." Hidan said with a hint of sarcasm that I almost didn't catch.

"Shaddap, Hidan. I saved them from certain death and this is the thanks I get." I said, using my 2 foot tall pumpkin to help me stand up.

"I'd like to see how you're gonna get it up the patio stairs, Kimi." Hidan commented, making his way up onto the patio.

"Why do we even _have_ a patio, Leader-Sama? This is supposed to be a hideout, isn't it?" I asked, sitting down on my enormous pumpkin and staring at the stairs.

"Just because we're a criminal organization doesn't mean we have to live in some cave." Leader-Sama retorted, hauling his pumpkin up the stairs.

"Oh sure, leave the anemic 11 year old to do all the work!" I yelled after everyone else, almost getting tackled to the ground by Rainy.

"Hi Sweetie!" Rainy squealed, licking my face.

"Not now, Rain. I'm working." I said, pushing her off with a smirk.

"And what's with the new nickname?" I asked, pulling the pumpkin toward the stairs.

"Well, you _are_ the sweetest thing ever, aren't you?" she asked, bounding around in her doggish ways.

"No. I mean, sure I'm nice and everything, but I wouldn't go as far as 'sweet'." I said, working out my plan in my head.

"Still. I think you're pretty sweet." Rainy commented, licking my hand.

"Tch. Whatever, Rain." I said shyly, pushing her away.

She seemed satisfied with my reaction and began romping about the yard, searching for Sonny.

"Crazy dogs…" I mumbled, shaking my head.

How was I going to get that pumpkin up the stairs? If I used any of my jutsus then I'd never hear the end of it with anyone else… If I tried to do it manually, I would fail horribly. If I did something sad and easy like lying boards down on the stairs and pulling the pumpkin up with rope, then I would look weak and stupid. If I used a ninja technique, I would be showing off to you.

Then, my eyes wandered to a few boards and rope lying unused under the patio deck, in what I now refer to as the 'shed of awesomeness'.

"Too easy…" I mumbled, shaking my head. I needed a challenge.

Too bad I don't feel like impressing you.

I ran and set up the boards, but I decided to humor whoever was watching me (dead or alive) and I began pushing it up the planks, having a surprisingly easy time.

After I had finally gotten it to the top, I did a victory dance, and sang 'we are the champions' for half a minute before slapping myself and rolling it inside.

"Nice to see you waited for me." I said sarcastically, seeing that everyone was already in their places, about to start the pumpkin massacre.

They gave me a dumbfounded look as I lied down the newspaper and rolled my pumpkins onto it, and the only thing I heard throughout that whole 2 minute period was Sasori saying,

"Pay up, Kaku." followed by a few mumbled curses from Kakuzu, and the sound of money being handled.

Everyone was still staring at me, though.

I was just about to cut into the one the size of my head when the tension finally got to me.

"What?" I asked looking up from the big orange ball I was about to kill.

"How in Jashinist hell did you get that friggin pumpkin up those fucking stairs?" Hidan questioned loudly.

"There is no definitive answer to that question, my dear Hidan." I replied, whipping out a kunai and stabbing the pumpkin the size of my head.

It made a squishy noise, like when you bite into a watermelon, but then it turned into a sound like wood cracking.

I got looks of incomprehension, so I decided to give them a more literal explanation.

"If you want the more literal explanation, I put boards down on the stairs and pushed the pumpkin up on the boards." I said, carving a terribly failed circle in the top of my pumpkin.

They seemed more satisfied with that answer, and got to work on their pumpkins.

Now, the second I removed the top of my pumpkin, I started laughing very, very hard; so hard that I couldn't breathe. It was almost harder than when I heard Konan and Leader-Sama through the wall.

Everyone stared at me like I had three heads until Hidan, being the loud mouth that he is, decided to say something.

"What the fuck is so funny?"

I couldn't respond for several seconds.

"I… d-don't know… It's j-just… so d-damn… funny…" I choked out, burying my face in my hands to try and calm myself down.

"What is?" Kakuzu asked.

I managed to calm myself down enough to start making what little sense I could.

"N-Nothing... Forget I said anything…" I said, busting out in laughter once again.

Everyone shook their heads and went back to carving.

After a few more minutes, I started carving again.

After an awkward silence, I found my self control slipping, and I giggled.

This giggle turned into a laugh.

It just kept coming, and I wasn't one to stop it.

After a little while, I finally decided to share what was on my mind, since I had attracted the attention of everyone else in the room.

"Can you imagine what's going through these pumpkins' heads? It's probably all, 'NO DON'T CUT ME OPEN AND TAKE MY GUTS OUT!' and I'm probably all 'SHUT UP AND HOLD STILL, DAMNIT!' and it's probably all, 'NO! SAVE ME, TOM CRUISE! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEE!' and I'm probably all laughing crazy and ripping its guts out." I said, scooping the orange plasma out of the pumpkin like it was nothing.

I thought I heard a few muffled laughs, but other than that, I received confused looks.

After a few minutes of quietly listening to music, Itachi uncharacteristically started the conversation.

"I can see why a lot of people find this fun."

"Yeah, especially violent people with no lives of their own." I found myself saying, starting on the pumpkin's face.

"So, we should be finding this very entertaining." He retorted, smirking.

"I know I am." Sasori commented, scooping a big handful out of his pumpkin.

I laughed, and the conversation stopped.

I started to concentrate on finishing my pumpkin, and after a minute or two, I felt stares directed towards me.

I soon realized why.

I was humming.

Loudly.

I stopped and looked away, trying to hide my reddened face.

The music was hard to resist, but I was able to keep myself quiet.

"Good work, kid." Deidara commented when I had turned my pumpkin towards everyone else to show them.

I smiled, placing finished pumpkin off to the side.

After placing clean, dry, and fresh newspaper down on a different area, I rolled the large pumpkin onto it and whipped out a different kunai.

I thought it would be like that one episode of iCarly where Spencer had to carve that enormous pumpkin and his little carving knife broke upon contact, so I stabbed the pumpkin rather hard.

It went through at a perfect angle, but carving a giant circle on the top was hard, and I was exhausted by the time I had a decent hole in the top.

The second I took the top off, I started laughing again, though.

While I was scooping out the guts of the pumpkin, my internal radio started kicking out the tunes.

I caught myself singing the first verse of 'Just a Dream' by Nelly, so I clenched my teeth together to keep me quiet.

You wouldn't believe the pile of guts that I was left with.

Carving it was hard.

I mean, HARD.

What made it sad was the fact that no one offered to help me.

By the time both my pumpkins were done, it was midnight.

I was too tired to carve the tiniest one, so I stole Sasori's sharpies and drew a face on it instead.

There's a word I don't like using too often; instead.

After we had gotten rid of the pumpkin guts and cleaned up, we all went to bed.

Except Tobi, because apparently he wasn't tired and he wanted to watch over the pumpkins should any unsavory characters come along and try to kill them.

I honestly thought about staying up with him, but I fell asleep before I could complete the thought.

Pumpkin carving is hard work.

Pein's POV

The next morning, (Halloween, to be more exact) I woke up to the sound of rain pounding against my window.

I didn't remember feeling very emotional, nor had been thinking too deeply about anything in particular, so it was baffling as to why it was raining.

It wasn't uncommon for it to storm without my knowing or causing it, but I didn't like when it happened because then I knew that nature was stronger than me at that time.

That's a feeling I've grown to dislike very much.

Another surprise was that I was the first one up.

Normally, Itachi or Kimiko would be the first ones up, but they were both sound asleep.

Tobi was never technically up before me, because he hadn't gone to sleep.

"Hey Tobi? Why did you spend the whole night with the pumpkins?" I asked out of boredom.

"Because Tobi wanted to make sure nothing bad happened to them." He explained.

"Why didn't you just lock them up in the gardening room with Zetsu?" I continued.

"Because Zetsu-san was tired, and Tobi knows that Zetsu-san wouldn't be able to watch the pumpkins like Tobi could." Tobi replied simply.

"Why do you always talk in third person?" I questioned. I had actually been building up the entire conversation up to that point, just so I wouldn't sound weird and obsessive when I asked it.

"What?"

"Why do you talk in third person?"

"I don't talk in third person." Tobi said, suddenly dropping his normal way of speaking.

"Yes you do." I pressed, not knowing where the conversation was going.

Just then, Konan walked in.

"Good morning, Ko-chan!" Tobi exclaimed happily.

"Good morning, Tobi." She greeted, patting his head.

"Were you the first one up, Pein?" she asked.

"Yes, surprisingly." I replied.

She nodded, and we sat all sat down on the couch and watched The Early Show until everyone else got up.

Hidan hadn't exactly gotten up like everyone else, so he was a little grumpy.

Kakuzu broke into his bedroom and kicked him out of bed just for the fun of it, and for added measure, he dragged Hidan around by his feet until Hidan was finally able to sever his feet and crawl away.

The whole incident was quite hilarious and bloody.

But Kimiko's entrance was the most interesting.

She went romping by the lounge room with a fake kunai the size of her forearm and a scream mask on, and a long black cloak.

"Happy Horrible Halloween, you weirdos." She greeted, stopping long enough for us to see her before going back to romping to god knows where.

"Did Scream Jr. just wish us a happy Halloween?" Kisame asked after an awkward silence.

"I believe so, Kisame. I believe so." Itachi responded slowly.

Eventually, we all went our separate ways to prepare for the coming night, and nothing very interesting happened until about 11:00 am.

I was sitting around in the kitchen eating M&Ms pretending to work, when I saw Kakuzu's wallet lying out in the open on the opposite counter.

I decided to steal the money inside it just to see how he would react, so I left my big bag of M&Ms on the counter behind me and crossed the kitchen to grab the wallet.

Once the money from the wallet was safely in my pocket, I had the strange sense to turn around.

I turned just in time to see Kimiko swiping my M&Ms off the counter and trying to sneak out of the kitchen.

This time, she was dressed as a cat, complete with a tail, ears, and little paws. By paws, I mean gloves with little pink pads on the bottom and cute little claws attached to the ends of the fingers. They were also stuffed to give it the puffy paw look, so I assumed it was a chibi thing.

"What the-?" I asked, surprised that she was able to nearly escape without my not knowing it.

She paused and stared at me, knowing she'd been caught.

Expecting her to drop the M&Ms and run away, I stared back.

Instead, she turned and began running away, with _MY_ M&Ms.

I found myself running after her.

Deidara's POV

Sasori and I were walking towards the dining room.

I was about to say something when there was a thump against the wall right next to the dining room entrance.

After 15 seconds, Kimiko came racing out, clutching her head with a cat paw hand.

"Goddamn depth perception!" she exclaimed to herself, looking back at whoever was chasing her.

"GIVE BACK MY M&Ms, DAMNIT! KIMIKO!" Leader yelled, coming out of the dining room and running after her with surprising speed.

"QUIT CHASING ME, LEADER-SAMA!" Kimiko yelled back, clutching a package of M&Ms in her hand.

She went running down the corridor, Leader right on her tail.

Literally; He was tugging at her little cat tail, since I noticed she was dressed like a cat.

Kakuzu and Hidan came out of the lounge room as Kimiko ran by, and she stumbled, causing her to bump into them.

If anything, it looked almost intentional.

Suddenly, Leader made one last attempt at reaching for Kimiko, and managed to knock her off balance.

She stumbled and fell over sideways.

They just happened to be near the meeting room, and he dragged her in by her feet.

"NOOOOOOOOO! CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" She yelled, clawing at the floor and latching onto the doorframe, trying to escape.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" She screamed, losing grip on the doorframe and disappearing inside the meeting room.

"That's gotta me the 4th time this year that has happened…" Sasori said, sweatdropping.

After 32 seconds, Leader calmly out of the meeting room as though nothing happened.

"Oh Hidan?" He called.

Hidan froze.

He looked down at his hands.

There was a package of M&Ms that wasn't there before.

"Fuck…" He muttered.

In your eyes, Hidan did nothing wrong.

But, as it turns out, Hidan somehow knew that Leader had the last bag of M&Ms, and he had Kimiko sneak in and get the bag for him.

"You didn't kill her, did you, hm?" I asked Leader as he walked by, noticing that Kimiko hadn't emerged out of the meeting room.

"No. Wait…" He said, walking briskly down the hall and peering into the meeting room.

"Nope. She should be fine in a couple minutes." He concluded, walking back toward the kitchen with his M&Ms in hand.

Hidan, in a discouraged mood, walked off with Kakuzu.

When they passed by the meeting room, Kimiko must've recovered enough to start talking.

"Hey, Zuzu." She called, making them both pause.

"Hm?"

"Leader-Sama has your wallet." She said hoarsely.

Kakuzu froze.

"What color was it?"

"The red leather one."

"I WILL KILL HIM…"

"Can I watch?" Kimiko asked.

"No. It will be too violent for impressionable idiots."

"Then why does Hidan get to watch?" Kimiko asked softly.

"Shut the fuck up, Koko." Hidan snapped.

"No, Hidan. No. I will not shut up, Hidan." Kimiko said smoothly.

"You little-…" Hidan started, storming into the meeting room.

But just as quickly as before, Kimiko burst out of the meeting room and started running down the corridor towards Sasori and me.

Hidan attempted to run after her, and he did succeed to catch her by grabbed her forearm, but she roundhouse kicked him right in his manhood, causing him to fall over.

She came running up to us, and hopped onto my back.

"RUN, DEIDEI! RUN LIKE THE WIND!" She yelled, shaking me.

The only reason I actually ran for her was because Sasori had already dashed into the dining room.

"HELP ME UP, KAKUZU YOU BASTARD!" Hidan snapped, lying on the ground in front of Kakuzu.

"Whatever, dumbass." Kakuzu replied, grabbing Hidan's forearm and pulling him up.

Once Sasori and I were in the dining room, Kimiko disappeared; hiding somewhere in the room, no doubt.

Hidan and Kakuzu came in.

"Where the fuck is that little bitch?" Hidan barked, looking at me.

"I don't know, un!" I responded.

"Tch, you just gave her a friggin piggy back ride. I think you'd know where." He said, looking under the table.

"I seriously don't know where she is." I said, a chuckle hidden in my voice.

"Shit, she pulled a ninja move…" Hidan said, looking about the dining room.

Suddenly, Kimiko dropped down from the ceiling and landed right on top of Hidan.

I jumped, and so did everyone else in the room who wasn't Hidan, since he was the one lying on the floor.

"Damn straight, Hidan my dear." Kimiko said, smiling mischievously.

"Nice move, Kimi. Nice move." Kakuzu commented, nodding in approval.

"Bruce Lee and Hidan got nothin' on me." She responded, adjusting her cat ears.

"Get the fuck off me now, please." Hidan asked.

"Oh, sorry." Kimiko apologized, stepping off of him.

She stepped off of him and watching him get up.

"What the fuck got into you?" Hidan asked, rubbing his head.

"It's the koneko (5) getup!" Kimiko analyzed cheerfully, shrugging before romping off.

"Who knew costumes gave her mystical powers…" Kakuzu said, sweatdropping.

Kimiko's POV

After Kakuzu had stolen his wallet back and Hidan agreed not to slaughter me, I slipped into my bedroom and drifted in and out of sleep for a couple hours before getting struck upside the head with a great idea.

I whipped out my favorite crayon and began scribbling down my idea on some nearby paper.

It turns out they were nothing more than two poems.

'The eyes of the thing'

The eyes of that thing

Oh, the eyes of that thing

I don't like the eyes of that thing

It makes me wonder why I even glance at them,

Even after all the pain they bring

I don't like those eyes

Those eyes that stare at me

I'd stare right back, but then,

Oh, then… It just might eat me

Then you'll see,

Why I don't like the eyes of that thing

Oh, then you'll see why those eyes stare at me

'Black'

The world went black

The world went black for me

Why did it go black for me?

The world went black for me,

When I saw the black

The black

Oh, the black…

I wish I could describe the black before my time is up

But now it's back

It's back for me

And now I can't see

Run away, my friend

Run

Because the black is just around the bend

It's coming for you

It's coming for me

Just run away and let the black be

Now, I guess I'm going to die

Oh, now you can't see

Oh my

Now we can't see

Looks like time is up for you and me

But please don't go crazed and awry

Don't scream

Don't cry

Oh, please don't throw a hissy fit

None of it is really there,

Unless you close your eyes

And think about it

(6)

By that time, it was 5:42 in the afternoon, and I decided to run down to the village to pick up a few things.

"KONAN! I'M GOING DOWN TO THE VILLAGE TO GET SOME STUFF!" I yelled, throwing on my Akatsuki cloak and starting out the door.

"OKAY! HURRY BACK!" Konan responded.

"I WILL!" I replied before walking out the door.

I skipped all the way down the path to the village, and the only thing I really wanted was a blue push-up pop from the store.

Why, you ask?

Because, when you suck on a blue push-up pop, your mouth and lips turn blue, and that makes you look dead.

I was so busy leaving I forgot to take off my koneko costume.

The paws would get in the way, so I took them off and stuffed them in my pockets.

The ears and the tail would be fine.

I skipped into the store and silently thanked jashin that the candy was mostly in the back.

I skipped to the back and swiped a blue push-up pop by brushing against the rack.

At first glance, it would look as though I started to turn a little prematurely, or perhaps I just wanted to avoid another passing by me.

I stuffed it in my pocket, and just for the heck of it, I swiped a bag of M&Ms for Hidan.

It would look suspicious if I just skipped into a store and skipped out, so I stopped skipping and walked around the store for 3 minutes, pretending to look for something.

After which, I started to skip out of the store.

"Hey, kid?" asked the boy behind the counter.

I froze.

Did he see me? I thought, looking back and trying to stay calm.

"Hm?"

"Nice cat ears."

I sighed in relief.

"Thanks, man." I said, relaxing.

"Hey, aren't you Makoto's girl?" He asked.

"Um, yeah. How'd you know?" I asked.

"I'm on his older brother's team."

"Oh. Nice."

"What's your name?"

"Kimiko."

"Yup, your Makoto's girl."

"… Okay then… What's your name?"

"Aito."

"Hmm, nice. Okay, bye." I said, skipping out of the store with a flick of my tail.

"He seemed nice…" I said to myself skipping back to the path.

Why am I skipping so much? I thought, reaching into my pocket and putting my koneko paws back on.

I ran the whole way home, and I spent about 2 hours in my room staring blankly at wall.

At 7:45, I realized that I should probably set my plan into motion for maximum candy intake and fun, so I put on my costume.

I then remembered that I had a bag of M&Ms for Hidan, so I went romping about the hideout searching for him for a good 20 minutes before finding him and everyone else sitting in the lounge room.

I didn't say anything at first. I just skipped up to him.

"BE HAPPY!" I yelled, throwing the bag of M&Ms in his face.

"What the fuck?" He muttered, grabbing the bag of candy that had fallen in his lap.

"You're welcome…" I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

I looked at the TV screen and saw that they had it hooked up like a monitoring system.

"OH MY JASHIN ARE WE RECREATING PARANORMAL ACTIVITY?" I asked, bouncing up and down while staring at the screen.

"No. But that's a good idea." Leader-Sama replied.

"Well, what _are_ you doing?" I asked.

"We're going to see who or what comes near the hideout tonight." Said Kakuzu.

"AWESOME…" I muttered.

"Why are you dressed like a fairy?" Kisame asked.

"I don't know Kisame. I don't know." I replied, sitting down on the floor.

I sat there and watched the screen for a while, but nothing very interesting happened, besides a squirrel having what looked like a heart attack before falling out of the tree it was sitting in and lying belly up on the ground.

"Did that squirrel just die?" Itachi asked after an awkward silence.

"I guess it did…" Kisame responded, a half-hearted laugh in his voice.

"Well, I'm gonna go get some candy." I said, standing up.

I had a rather simple costume. All I was wearing was a black t-shirt, the black miniskirt I wore when I met Lights, a dark gray scarf, my arm warmers, and some intricate black fairy wings. My lips were all blue, since I had been eating my blue push-up pop about an hour and 20 minutes in while I was staring blankly at a wall.

"What time are you gonna come back?" Konan asked.

"I don't know. Maybe around 10:00, I guess. I'll call you when I decide to come home." I said, heading towards the kitchen.

I got a trash bag out of the pantry and headed out the door.

I skipped all the way to the village, and upon hitting my 4th house, Miyu came out of nowhere and followed me for several blocks until I finally acknowledged her presence.

"Why are you stalking me?" I asked, stopping for a moment.

"No reason." She replied.

"Well, you can stop now."

"I don't want to!"

"Why aren't you taking your little brother out trick or treating?" I asked. I still didn't turn around.

Her little brother is about 3 months older than me, and he's always got something nice to say about someone or something, so I like him.

"He was feeling sick, so I left him at home with my auntie." Miyu explained, brushing some of her brown hair behind her ear.

"What are you supposed to be?" I asked, finally turning around.

"Scream." She said, pulling a mask over her head.

"I wanted to be a lady bug, but my brother made me wear his costume." She said, shrugging.

"Well, you wanna team up? I'm getting kinda creeped out doing this whole thing alone." I asked, fingering the trash bag one third of the way full with candy.

"Sure. I have to ask for extra candy for my brother and it gets a little embarrassing." She replied, pulling her (or rather, her brother's) mask back on.

We hit the entire village, according to gang territory.

West side, south side, north side, and east side; all of which were surprisingly quiet. Halloween isn't much of a religious holiday (well, to me it is…) to most people, so it was kind of scary.

The funniest stuff that happened went in almost chronological order.

First, Miyu probably saved both of us from certain death.

As we were walking by a house, Miyu stopped me and pointed towards the house.

Apparently, 'The guy' will ask you all kinds of questions. Such as,

Where do you live?

Who do you live with?

Is anyone else with you?

Do you wanna come in? (7)

So, Miyu basically dove into the bushes and left me standing there.

'The Guy', who just happened to see me, came out of his house and started towards me.

I stared at him, wondering why I wasn't running away from him.

When he was about 3 feet away from me, I finally found the nerve to spring into action.

I screamed.

I screamed very loudly, and threw a rock at his head.

Miyu finally decided to be useful and grabbed me by my forearm, before proceeding to run away, dragging me behind her.

We ran for a good 15 seconds before turning and diving into a bush.

"What's with the diving into bushes?" I asked, rubbing my sore head.

"You didn't actually expect me to drag you behind me for more than 10 seconds? I gave you the satisfaction of dragging you for 15 seconds!" She whispered harshly, peering out of the bush.

We waited for about 4 minutes before going on with our lives.

After hitting some more houses, we decided that we might as well go home.

Next, I got punched in the face by an evil 8 year old boy.

As if 'the guy' incident wasn't enough…

I was just walking along, when this little boy came running up to me.

"GIMME YOUR CANDY!" he shouted, holding out his hand.

"No." I said, hiding behind Miyu.

Don't ask me why I have a fear of small children. *shudders*

"You asked for it!" He warned, grabbing onto my t-shirt and pulling me away from Miyu.

He then punched twice.

The first time, he punched me so hard I got a bloody nose, and the second time, he punched me right under my right eye, leaving a rather painful cut under it.

By nothing more than mere instinct, I kicked him.

Right in the boyhood.

He screamed in an impossibly high voice and collapsed on the ground, which gave me the chance to run.

I quickly swiped his bag of candy and threw it into my trash bag full of candy.

When he looked up at me with a scary expression, I punched him.

It sent him down the sidewalk a good 10 feet.

Miyu pulled me up and we dashed down the street before stopping out in the front of a store.

We were right near the path back to the hideout, and Miyu's house wasn't too far away either.

"You better clean your face before you go home, or else those weirdos you live with are gonna freak out." Miyu advised, pointing to my bloodied nose and the cut directly under my right eye.

"Tch, if anything they'll probably be proud…" I mumbled, slinging my trash bag full of candy over my shoulder and holding it Japanese style.

Miyu started to argue, but the evidence was hard to deny.

Miyu and I had decided we had enough candy to last for a while, so we said our goodbyes and started for home.

I stopped and cleaned my nose, since the smell of blood while walking through the dark woods alone wasn't a nice experience.

The cut under my eye throbbed, and I was feeling queasy from the blood loss.

When I was about 30 yards from the hideout, I found myself hanging upside down from a tree by my ankles.

It wasn't very pleasant, since the cut on my face started bleeding again, and my bag of candy was lying on the ground, calling to me.

Luckily, I always keep an emergency pack of throwing stars and kunai strapped to me, so I was able to saw through the ropes and set myself free.

But, as I was sawing away at the thick pieces of rope bounding me upside down, Hidan came out of nowhere.

"Hey, Kiki. I see you've been testing or new traps." He said, smiling up at me.

"Tch… Just get me down before I pass out…" I said, dropping and letting myself hang.

He took out his scythe and swung, cutting me free.

Sadly, I wasn't warned about the sudden freedom I had of the ropes and ended up plummeting to the ground, headfirst.

Hidan made no attempt to catch me.

"Goddamn laws of physics…" I mumbled to myself, rubbing my already sore head.

"Why didn't you catch me?" I asked, irritated.

"You'll live. You're a tough bitch." He said, ruffling my hair.

"What's with the cut? Did you scratch yourself again?" He asked.

"This weird little boy came up to me and asked me for my candy, so I said no because, you know, I'm just cool like that, so he punched me in the face twice, so I kicked him in the boyhood and I ran away with his bag of candy." I said, flashing the second bag of candy belonging to the boy.

"That's my girl." Hidan said, patting me on the back.

They didn't have to set traps… sometimes I wonder how I look up to these guys… I thought, shaking my battered head and continuing to walk.

I entered the hideout with Hidan and took some anemia pills so I wouldn't faint or throw up on anything, or anyone for that matter.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked, wiping the blood off of my face and putting a bandage on the cut directly under my eye.

"Ambushing children who go by the hideout. We need candy too, you know…" He said, sounding irritated.

"Well, you can go out and get some candy. I'll hold down the fort." I said, flopping down on the floor.

"By 'hold down the fort', you mean lay down somewhere and stare at the ceiling." He said knowingly, rolling his eyes.

"You read me like a book, _Sweetie Dear_." I said, a hint of sarcasm in my tone.

"Whatever. Don't kill yourself." He said, walking out the door.

"I'll try my best…" I mumbled, closing my eyes.

I stood up and went outside to sit on the patio.

"Why did you people even carve pumpkins if no one else is going to see them?" Rainy asked.

"Well, probably because we were bored, you know. That happens so often these days…" I replied, staring at the pumpkins and their flickering faces, lit by candles from the inside.

Since our patio deck has wooden railing around it like most patios normally would, I climbed onto the one on the right of the stairs, so that I could see everything.

I got rather absorbed in my own thoughts; they were bouncing about my mind with such force I had a small headache.

What made the whole thing kind of cool was the fact that my eyes closed, and I was in the zone for what felt like only a few minutes.

The only thing that snapped me out of it was the sound of breathing that wasn't my own.

I opened my eyes, not even realizing they were closed, and I came face to face with a certain ghost.

"Kumomaru, why are you in my face?" I asked, voice void of emotion.

"I'm bored." He responded.

"If you weren't a ghost, I'd make out with you, but seeing as you are, I won't. Plus, I have what I guess you could call a boyfriend." I said jokingly, smirking.

"Believe me; I'd do the same if you weren't alive." He said, returning the smirk.

"Did I forget to mention that Sonny and Rainy tore that squirrel to pieces?" He asked, his smile turning rather malicious.

"Feeling morbid, aren't we?" I asked, running a cold finger across his jaw line before drawing away and looking up at the sky. (8)

"Someone's flirty…" He mumbled, an unfamiliar smirk crossing his face.

"Drop the accent. You're gonna end up making me do something I'll regret later." I said jokingly, shutting my eyes for whatever reason.

"Fine…" He said, doing his best to eliminate his Brooklyn accent.

"Glad to see you again; thought you finally moved on or something." I said, nudging him.

"Tch… Well, I better go and leave you to your morbid self." He said, getting up and leaving in his ghostly way.

"Baka…" I muttered to myself.

After a few more moments, I directed my attention to the jack-o-lanterns.

Their fake smiles flickered in the candle light, and for a vague moment a thought crossed my mind.

Why are they so happy? If anyone were happy all the time like that, they'd be dead in no time. I guess when you're nothing more than a fruit then everything is funny.

The thought felt like it lasted forever, but it was only for a moment or two in reality.

Just then, I heard the sound of approaching ninja, so I ceased all movement and stared at where the noise was coming from.

I was trying not to get spooky or creeped out, but I couldn't help but start thinking scary thoughts.

Someone in the Akatsuki has to have mind reading powers, because just when I relaxed…

"Tobi is a good boy." Tobi whispered behind me.

I screamed, but I didn't fall backwards, which kind of scared me.

"TOBI! THAT WAS NOT FUNNY…" I whined, trying to pretend like I was going to cry, since I was anyway.

"Tobi is sorry, Kiki-hime." Tobi apologized.

"Good boy, Tobi. Good boy." I said, wiping my eyes and patting him on the head.

"I see you've been busy." Kakuzu said, poking my face right below the bandaged cut.

I pushed his hand away and hopped off my perch.

"Stupid candy beggars…" I mumbled grudgingly.

"Tch, Hidan wasn't lying when he said you over-reacted…" Kakuzu said, rolling his eyes.

I shot Hidan a hurt look.

"Do you want me to demonstrate?" I asked, smiling with sinister intent.

Now, since I've only fought in self-defense in front of them, they were rather skeptical of my abilities.

I am too, but I enjoy showing off just how good I am at it.

"Whatever." Hidan responded, walking up to me.

"Let's go down here. This could get messy…" I said, grabbing his hand and dragging him down the stairs.

"Okay, so that boy walked up to me like this," I said, walking up to Hidan.

"And he asked me for my candy, so I ran behind Miyu like this," I said, running behind Hidan and climbing onto his shoulder Yachiru style. (9)

"So then he grabbed me by my T-shirt like this," I said, hopping off of Hidan and grabbing onto the front of his cloak.

"And he punched me like this," I said, punching Hidan twice in the face.

"OW." He complained, seeming increasingly pissed off.

"So I kicked him like this," I said, swinging my leg up and kicking him in his manhood rather hard.

It must've knocked the wind out of him, because he had that pained face that told you he was in too much pain to speak.

"And then I swiped his candy like this," I said, grabbing Hidan's candy bag.

"So he gave me a scary look, kinda like Hidan is doing right now," I pointed out, motioning to Hidan with my head.

"So I punched him like this," I said, letting go of Hidan and punching across the face, sending him back 10 feet.

Everyone watching couldn't help but laugh.

"And Miyu and I ran away like this." I said, finishing my demonstration by running up back up to the patio and hiding behind Deidara.

After recovering, Hidan demanded he have his candy back.

So, I threw his candy bag at his head.

We went inside, and I started sifting through my candy.

Pein's POV

Kimiko put her trash bag full of candy on the floor, was gone for about 3 minutes, and came back wearing her nightwear, which included everything she was wearing before, except without the wings and her hair tied up, as at that moment I noticed it was getting quite long and now grazed her shoulders.

She plopped down on the floor and began dividing up her candy.

We had our quiet little conversations, and we forgot she was in the room for a moment or two.

Before long, she had piles of candy, perfectly sorted by size and type.

When the final piece of candy was sorted and counted, she sighed and fell over backwards, and began laughing manically.

"You taught her well, Hidan." Kakuzu commented, sweat dropping.

Hidan nodded proudly.

After we figured out that she wasn't planning on telling us what was so funny, we went back to counting our candy.

Robbing small children was hard work, since most of the time their parents or they themselves were ninja.

The candy made it all worth it, though.

After a couple hours of candy trading and bartering, we must've fallen asleep, because I didn't remember going to bed.

The next morning…

I woke up on the couch, a nerf gun clenched in my hands and a magnet stuck to my face, and a fleeting thought of 'where'd the peanut butter zebra go?' which scared me to death.

No one else was fairing any better.

Sasori and Deidara were in a suggestive position on the floor just below me, Kisame was groggily murmuring and humming the JAWS theme while squirming about on the floor, Itachi was hunched over in a corner, clutching a big pink teddy bear, Konan was lying in a pile of candy with a large blue foam paddle that looked a lot like a Q-tip, Zetsu was sleepily chewing on a throw pillow with a 'Fuck me' sign taped to his back, Tobi was sitting in a pile of empty Coke-a-cola cans in front of the TV, Kakuzu was sprawled over his large metal safe on his back, twitching violently every so often, Hidan was almost completely naked (the only thing he had on was some blue duck boxers) under the coffee table, a green paddle similar to Konan's clenched in his hand, and Kimiko was wrapped around a ceiling lamp with her koneko suit on and a red paddle like Konan and Hidan's gripped in one hand, murmuring soft and incomprehensible words to herself in her sleep.

I didn't know what else to do, so I flicked on the lights.

Everyone woke up, either very reluctantly or plainly bolting upright, all around the same time.

Deidara looked up at Sasori, who was on top of him in a rather suggestive fashion, and the two both screamed like girls and threw themselves to opposite corners of the room, probably wondering who was trying to molest who.

Kisame snapped awake with the last notes of the JAWS theme cut off abruptly.

Itachi, realizing what he was hugging, threw it at Tobi.

Konan bolted upright, and, upon seeing the pile of candy under her and the paddle in her hand, took one last pleasure in opening a box of Milk Duds and enjoying them, tossing the paddle off to the side.

Zetsu didn't quite stop chewing on the throw pillow, and he didn't seem to be aware of the sign on his back, either.

Tobi jumped up and nearly had a heart attack upon hearing the sound of cans clanging against each other, which was actually caused by him.

Kakuzu flipped off his safe with a thud and looked around, confused.

Hidan crawled out from under the coffee table and tossed both the paddle and TV remote to begin looking for his pants.

Kimiko, startled and taken off guard by the sudden light emitting from the lamp she was hanging from, murmured the rushed words 'The zebra has the jelly' before snapping back to reality and plummeting to the floor with an audible grunt of pain.

"GODDAMN ZEBRA GOT AWAY-… What happened?" She asked, pushing herself up on her elbows and looking around.

"What _did _happen?" Sasori asked, trying to avoid looking at Deidara.

"Did anyone else hear the peanut butter zebra singing Christmas carols?" Kakuzu asked, rubbing his eyes.

"All I hear are those voices, you know, the ones that tell you to kill all your friends before they get the chance to kill us…" Kimiko murmured deliriously.

We all sweat dropped nervously.

"You mean you guys don't hear that?" She asked.

We all shook our heads slowly.

After some failed attempts at trying to walk, we finally got the hang of it again and stumbled to the kitchen, where we took some much-needed aspirin and went to bed, where we slept the rest of the day away.

* * *

(1): I can already feel millions of fangirls across the world mentally fall over. I don't have anything against him, okay? I'm actually one of his many stalkers. It hurt me more than it hurt you, trust me. But remember, this is from the vantage point of a mentally disturbed 11 year old child.

(2): Picture this mall as having 3 levels. Sorry I couldn't fit that in there, but I'm a little lazy right now.

(3): Heh, it rhymed…

(4): I wanted to see how long I could go with an all-dialog thing before it stopped making sense; to me, anyway.

(5): For those of you that don't know, 'koneko' means kitten in Japanese. I felt like adding something Japanese in there to keep it real.

(6): I tried. I really did. XD

(7): Almost an actual event. While out trick-or-treating, we drove by this guys house, and one of my cousins told me that when she trick-or-treated there the year before, he asked her where she lived. I just added on. We called him 'the lonely man', but 'the guy' sounds more mysterious, XD

(8): Okay, I have a confession. She can touch him, he can touch her. But do you think Kimiko is the kind of person who would cheat on Makoto? … Dumb question. Probably. XD… Oh well, let's just say I won't plan on anything like that happening for a little while longer.

(9): If you've watched BLEACH before, you'd know how Yachiru is always clinging to Kenpachi's back. Picture it like that, but with a pissed Hidan and an anxious Kimiko.

Okay... If there were any mistakes in this chapter, I know. I'm tired and lathargic right now, plus this took me a couple weeks to write. It gradually declines in quality as the story goes, acutally. XD

Anyways... REVIEWS? *sparkly eyes of hope* PWEASE? _ I need meh reviews...


	53. Chapter 53: THANKSGIVING SPECIAL!

HAPPEH THANKSGIVING, PPL! I wrote this for most of the night and almost all day today, since no one came over and it was just me, my two cousins and my parents. -_-... Well, that gave me more time to write, so... Yeah...

It's not as long as the Halloween chapter, but I tried.

DON'T OWN NOTHING.

* * *

Kimiko's POV

I stared out of the window of my bedroom impassively, waiting to see what would soon fall from the dark clouds hovering in the frozen skies.

The only light I had was the moon and what few stars that were able to peer out from behind the ugly clouds.

It was 4 in the morning, and I couldn't sleep.

Why, you ask?

THE CHICKEN HAS RETURNED, IS WHAT HAPPENED.

This time, it was just a normal chicken. But it was eating WALNUTS.

THE HORROR… THE HORROR…

I pressed myself up against window and relaxed. The indented windowsill made it easy to sit inside, and I found it quite easy to fall asleep, as long as you stayed stiff. If you tried to get into a more comfortable position in a comatose state, you'd easily tumble out and land on the cold, hard floor.

I padded the floor under it so that I wouldn't have too much of a bruise, but the thrill of not dying every time it happened kept me coming back and daring myself to fall asleep there.

Although the walls of my room were painted gray with black and pink splashes, it looked like nothing more than a plain, blank wall in such light.

Just as I had nodded off, a sound snapped me out of my newly found sleep, causing me to tumble to the floor with a thump.

It was the phone ringing.

By the way it was so quiet and still in the hideout, something as simple as the phone ringing was deafening.

Pein's POV

The phone rang so loud that I was snapped out of a rather enjoyable dream.

"WHO IN JASHINIST HELL COULD IT BE AT THIS FRIGGIN HOUR?" Hidan yelled, his voice creaky from just being woken up.

"UNPLUG THE PHONE, ZETSU!" Kimiko yelled, sounding quite tired herself.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE RINGING!" Zetsu yelled back, clearly trying to annoy her. By the sound of the voice, it was the black side.

"WELL YOU CAN ANSWER IT, AT LEAST!" Sasori butted in.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?" Zetsu replied, still the black side.

"HOW COME YOU HEARD HIM AND NOT ME?" Kimiko asked.

"I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Zetsu responded childishly.

"JUST HURRY UP AND ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE!" Hidan hollered.

"DON'T RUSH ME!" Called Zetsu, this time the white half.

Just as he finished, whoever was calling hung up.

"SEE WHAT YOU CAUSE?" Zetsu yelled, probably to everyone who had yelled at him.

"IT WAS KIMIKO'S FAULT!" Hidan exclaimed in a childish voice.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT BECAUSE HE COULDN'T HEAR ME, HIDAN! IF ANYTHING IT WAS PROBABLY YOU!" Kimiko teased, trying to tick him off.

"WANT ME TO COME IN THERE AND MAKE HIM HEAR YOU?" Hidan threatened.

"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!" She challenged.

"SHUT UP, KIMI BITCH!" Hidan warned.

"I'M NOT DONE YELLING AT YOU, HIDAN. I'M NOT DONE!" She pressed.

"HEY, WHY DON'T YOU BOTH SHUT UP BEFORE I COME AND MAKE YOU?" I yelled, hoping it sounded more like a command.

That shut them up.

I fell asleep again, and not 20 minutes later, the phone rang again.

"WILL SOMEONE PLEASE DESTROY THAT JASHINDAMN PHONE?" Hidan yelled.

"ZETSU! DO SOMETHING!" Kimiko ordered sleepily.

"NOO!" Zetsu yelled.

"WELL YOU AREN'T GONNA JUST LET IT RING, ARE YOU?" Kimiko asked.

"MAYBE I MIGHT! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" Zetsu challenged.

Just then, the phone stopped ringing.

"NOW PLEASE UNPLUG THE PHONE BEFORE I KILL MYSELF!" Kimiko begged.

I then heard the sound of the phone being unplugged.

"THANK YOU!" Kimiko called.

All went quiet, and we were finally allowed to sleep again.

Kimiko's POV

Sadly, our peace didn't last long.

Not even 15 minutes after, the phone began ringing again.

"I THOUGHT YOU UN-PLUGGED THE PHONE, ZETSU!" Hidan yelled.

"I DID!" Zetsu yelled, sounding a little panicky.

"LET ME LOOK!" I yelled, climbing off the cold floor (I still hadn't gotten around the getting up when I had fallen on the floor earler) and running to the kitchen, where we kept the phone.

"WE REALLY NEED A CORDLESS!" I yelled, hoping Kakuzu was awake to hear.

When I got to the phone, I saw that it was indeed unplugged.

"WELL? IS IT UNPLUGGED?" Hidan asked.

"Y-YEAH! IT'S UNPLUGGED!" I yelled, a little shocked.

Now, no one must've believed me because they came in to see for themselves.

"I told you it was unplugged! I told you!" I said, bouncing up and down and pointing at the cord that connected the phone to the wall.

"Well, where's that sound coming from?" Konan asked, wiping the tired out of her eyes.

I don't know." We all said in unison, looking around.

"Everyone, be quiet. Maybe we could find out where it's coming from if we listen." Leader-Sama suggested.

We stood in silence, listening for which direction the sound was coming from.

After it stopped, we still had no idea where it was coming from.

We spent a about 10 minutes looking for it, and suddenly, a new sound arose.

It was a ticking noise.

"Just_ what_ is that?" We all mumbled at the same time.

We set about looking for where the sound is coming from.

"_WHAT _is that mysterious ticking noise?" I asked myself.

I got down on my hands and knees and looked under the island in the kitchen.

"Not over hear… Not over there…" I mumbled to myself.

Kind of… catchy… I thought.

"Snape… Snape… Severous Snape… Snape… Snape… Severous Snape… Dumbledoore… Snape… Snape… Severous Snape… Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Oh, Harry Potter…

Harry. Snape. Harry. Snape. HARRY. SNAPE. HARRY! SNAPE!

DUMBERDOORE!

Singing our song… All day long… At HOGWAAAAARTS…

I've found the source of the ticking (1)-!" I was cut off when Itachi butt in.

"THIS IS NO TIME TO BE SINGING SONGS OF HARRY POTTER!" He said.

"WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSE TO SING? THE SETTING FITS SO WELL…"

"Why don't you sing something that doesn't end with us exploding?" Sasori asked.

"Well, I'm not singing at all now that I know you're all listening." I said, crossing my arms.

I walked into the lounge room, and decided to lie down in there.

That was when I heard the ticking start up again.

I froze.

I think I'm closer to it now, I thought sitting up and looking around.

I rolled off the couch and wriggled under it, thinking that perhaps I could get away from the noise by hiding.

As I lied down under the couch, I noticed it was even louder in there.

I realized why.

When I looked up, I saw something taped under the couch. Whatever it was, it was metilic and… and… IT WAS THE THING MAKING THE TICKING NOISE! I thought, resisting the urge to poke it.

"I THINK I FOUND IT!" I screamed, hoping someone had heard me.

"Found what, hm?" Deidara asked, entering the room.

"I think I found what's been making the ticking noises!" I said.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"I'm under the couch!" I said.

"Which one, un?" he asked.

I didn't think about that.

"Um… The one. You know, that one…?" I said, unsure where I was at.

"You sound like you don't know." He said.

"I don't, actually." I said, trying not to panic.

"Well, let me go get the others and we'll find you, hm." He said, leaving the room.

"Don't leave…" I said quietly.

I'm in the dark… I'm in the dark all alone, I thought frantically.

"Don't panic… Don't panic… DON'T PANIC!" I said, getting progressively more panicky.

"Which couch did you say she was under?" Sasori asked, walking in with what I assumed was everyone else.

"HURRY UP AND FIND ME!" I yelled.

"We're workin' on it…" Kakuzu mumbled.

"Just follow the sound of my v-," Here I was cut off by the ticking. It was getting faster.

"FOLLOW THE TICKING, KAKUZU! THE TICKING!" I said, kicking the inside of the couch whether it was from excitement or just panic.

"I think I found her!" Kakuzu said, peering under the couch.

"Yup. I found her." He said, most likely smirking.

"Great. NOW GET ME OUTTA HERE BEFORE I LOSE IT…" I said, kicking again.

"How _did _you get under there, anyway?" He asked, shaking his head.

"I have ways, and let's leave it at that, okay?" I said, hoping that I could get out sooner.

He lifted pushed the couch over and I sighed in relief.

I stood up and peered down at the over-turned couch.

"I've found the source of the ticking…" I said in a high-pitched voice.

"It's a pipe bomb." Konan finished.

"Nice…" Itachi said, staring down at it.

"And to think I was trapped under a couch with that thing…" I said, nearly falling over had it not been for another nearby couch.

"Why couldn't it have been THIS couch? THIS couch is soft and big and squishy, like the kind of couch for drunk people." I said, flipping over onto the drunken people couch and curling up.

"How are we gonna disable it? It sounds like it's gonna blow…" Zetsu said, more specifically the white half.

"Just cut the red wire. It's always the red wire." Kisame said.

"I thought it was always the blue wire." Konan corrected.

"I don't think it's the blue wire!" Zetsu said, whipping out a kunai.

"How about the green one?" I asked.

"The green one is under the red one and the blue one!" Zetsu whined.

"What about the orange one?" Kakuzu asked.

"That one's too tiny." Zetsu said, making a sun vein appear on Kakuzu's head.

"Well, just cut all of them!" Itachi suggested.

"No, no, no. No. Don't do that. You don't wanna do that. Please don't do that." I warned.

"Why?" Zetsu asked, looking back at me.

"Because; if you cut all the wires, then it could explode prematurely. If you wanna cut them all, make sure to do it spontaneously. Or else we might get blown to little itty bitty bits." I said in a matter-of-factly tone.

"Why don't I just cut the red wire?" He asked, turning around and preparing to cut.

I hopped up and scrambled over to watch.

With one swift move, he cut the red wire.

The little timer on it stopped.

"I think you did it…" Itachi said after a few awkward moments.

Just then, the timer started going FASTER.

"He didn't did it, Itachi. He didn't did it!" I said frantically.

"Just cut the blue one next." Kisame urged.

Zetsu quickly cut the blue one.

The timer stopped, and we stared at it, holding our breaths.

"I guess it was the blue one, then…" Itachi sighed, relieved.

Just then, the timer started going even _faster_.

"I guess it wasn't the blue one…" Konan murmured, panicking.

"Oh, just let me do it…" I said, pulling a kunai out of my sleeve and looking down at the last two wires.

An orange, and a green.

"It's the orange one…" Kakuzu said, nudging me in a frantic way.

I didn't want to disobey what everyone was thinking, so I started for the orange wire.

But, something came over me at the last possible second, and I sliced the green one.

Just as the timer hit 0.

Everyone screamed like little girls and closed their eyes.

But after a very tense and awkward 10 seconds, they opened their eyes.

"Are we dead?" Kakuzu asked quietly.

"YOU FRIGGIN IDIOT! YOU JUST KILLED US!" Kisame yelled, smacking me upside the head.

"OW!" I said, grabbing my sore head.

Out of nothing more than impulse, I kicked him in his manhood.

He fell over and shrieked in pain.

"I JUST SAVED YOUR FUCKING LIVES YOU DUMBASSES!" I yelled, mostly directed towards Kisame.

Everyone stood there for a moment.

After realizing they were alive, they looked back at me like I was a goddess.

"Sorry." Kakuzu said, a little embarrassed that he almost killed everyone.

"IT'S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE!" I sang, doing a happy dance on Kisame's back.

"If I'd listened to YOU, Kakuzu, we'd all be blown to itty bitty bits. Now lie down next to Kisame and let me dance on you too." I said, pointing to the ground next to Kisame.

Kakuzu gave me am odd look.

"NOW, GODDAMN IT!" I yelled.

He flopped down next to Kisame, and I commenced dancing on them.

Everyone, either greatly disturbed or plainly intrigued stayed behind and watched me dance on them.

After I got bored of dancing on them, I kicked them both and got down to their level.

"Remember this. I could easilyend you and your manhoods_._" I said, my voice dripping with so much venom I could've easily killed ten men.

"Now, I'm gonna go watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and eat my poptarts." I said, dropping the venom and skipping away like nothing happened.

"I'm frightened… I'm frightened greatly…" Kisame said in a rather high voice.

"You should be." I called over my shoulder, skipping towards the kitchen.

3RD PERSON…

The snow now gently fell outside, whitening the earth and chilling the air.

Now, since the kitchen was warm from cooking things, someone (who wishes to remain nameless) left the window open so they all wouldn't die of heat stroke.

There was a plate of candy sitting on the counter, and for whatever the right next to said open window.

It was the only public collection of candy they had.

They all still had a ration of Halloween candy. They just didn't tell anyone.

Anyway, the stalker boy, the one they had dubbed Yotogi, had decided to steal the bowl.

Deidara, who just happen to witness the event from a nearby door, decided to catch the boy.

"KIMIKO, UN! YOTOGI HAS THE CANDY!" Deidara yelled.

"SO?" Kimiko yelled from halfway across the hideout.

"IT'S YOURS!" Deidara lied.

Kimiko was in the kitchen so fast Deidara didn't even have time to blink.

"I WILL KILL… I WILL KILL, DEIDARA…" Kimiko said venomously.

"Lying. He's got the public one, hm." Deidara said, knowing that she was now nearby she could help.

"Well… We might as well get it back…" Kimiko muttered, slowly crawling out of the window with a chibi depression cloud above her head.

"HELP US GET THE CANDY BACK, UN!" Deidara yelled over his shoulder, climbing down after Kimiko.

Everyone, simply having nothing better to do, decided to help.

As soon as they were outside, Kimiko spotted the boy.

"KIMI SEES YOTOGI! KIMI SEES YOTOGI!" She yelled, pointing at the boy in a Tobi-like tone of voice.

She went dashing after him, and disappeared into the woods.

Everyone else stood there, knowing their job was done.

The snow falling was really quite beautiful, so they got hypnotized in the scenery.

Suddenly, there was a rustling noise.

Sasori, seemingly the only one who'd heard it, looked down.

There, sat a white snake, its body wrapped around the bowl of candy.

"SNAKE!" Sasori yelled, jumping back.

Everyone backed against the wall the hideout, panicking.

"I THOUGHT ALL THE SNAKES WERE GONE!" Kakuzu yelled.

"IT'S A FUCKING SUPER SNAKE!" Hidan yelled, throwing a rock at it.

The snake hissed, agitated.

"WE'RE NOT ALL IMMORTAL LIKE YOU, IDIOT!" Pein yelled, smacking Hidan across the face.

"Plus, that's a white dagger (2). They're one of Orochimaru's creations. The poison is lethal enough to kill all of us with one milligram." Sasori added, scooting behind Hidan.

Kimiko came running from around the corner, panting.

"Yotogi didn't have the bowl, but I found this awesome stick-… HOLY SHIT IT'S A SNAKE, IT'S A SNAKE, IT'S A SNAKE…" She said, stopping dead in her tracks not 4 feet away from the white reptile.

"Don't… Move…" Konan whispered.

"It's looking at me… IT'S FUCKING LOOKING AT ME-!" Kimiko whispered harshly, fighting back a panic attack.

"Just… Don't… Move…" Konan said, trying to detain the situation.

"DON'T TELL ME NOT TO FUCKING MOVE WHEN IT'S LOOKING RIGHT AT ME!" Kimiko breathed, trying to resist the urge to turn and run. Even she knew it would chase her. She'd encountered that kind of snake before, and it wasn't pleasant.

The snake started for the Akatsuki, losing interest in Kimiko.

"ARE YOU GONNA HELP OR WHAT?" Kakuzu asked.

"I don't fucking know, Kakuzu. I don't fucking know." Kimiko said, feeling dizzy.

An awkward silence went by.

"Kimiko?" Sasori asked.

"Yeah?" She replied, turning her head slightly to look at him.

"Still got that stick?" He questioned.

"Yup." Kimiko whispered, adjusting her hold on the stick.

"Alright. Very slowly… Carefully… AGITATE THE HELL OUT OF THAT SNAKE!" He commanded, an anime sun vein appearing on the back of his head.

"_AWWW_ _HELL NO!" _Kimiko responded loudly, almost bashing him in the head with her stick for such an idea.

"Well you're weird. Maybe you can talk to it!" Zetsu urged.

"Oh what, and you're not?" Kimiko asked.

"JUST TALK TO IT!"

"Alright, alright…" Kimiko muttered.

'Tch, like they actually believe that girl could undersssstand me…'

"WHO SAID THAT?" Kimiko asked, wondering who could've made such a snake-like voice.

"What do you mean? We didn't hear anything." Sasori asked.

'Did she hear me?' The voice asked.

'What the fuck?' Kimiko thought.

'Hey, watch the language, little lady.' Came the voice.

'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HEAD?' Kimiko thought.

'I'm not in your head, baka. We're talking through thoughtsss.' The snake hissed.

'I guess you're one of the _sssspecial _ones…' The snake thought.

'What do you mean by _special_?'

'You mean you haven't figured it out yet?'

'Figured out what?'

'You have a gift that even Orochimaru-ssssama issss envioussss of.' The snake hissed.

'What gift is that?'

'The sssimple power of having the sssssixth sssenssse."

'So… I'm psychic?'

'I guesss that'sss one way to word it. Barely.'

'Well, enough of your bullshit. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME AND MY FRIENDS BEFORE WE KILL YOU AND HANG YOU'RE MANGLED LITTLE TORN UP BODY ON THE FENCE-'

'I get it, I get it. I'm going.'

The snake began to slither away.

Kimiko watched him slither away.

'You better watch yourssself. I won' tell Orochhimaru-sssama, but he could ssssstill find out. Then you'll be in trouble.' He thought.

With that, he was gone.

"Earth to Kimiko!" Zetsu said, waving a hand in Kimiko's face.

Kimiko blinked.

"Where'd you go?" Zetsu asked.

"You fucking told me to talk to the snake, so that's what I did." Kimiko responded, climbing up the hideout to the window.

"I didn't think you'd take me seriously!" Zetsu yelled.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE RINGING!" Kimiko mimicked, already inside the hideout.

Everyone followed her in, and they went back to preparing the meal.

When the food was finally ready, they set the table and sat down.

"I'll feel guilty if I don't say something, so… THANK YOU JASHIN-SAMA!

(Insert holy silence)

Alright, I'm good." Kimiko said, leaning back in her chair.

They ate in content silence for a few minutes, until Tobi came along.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled.

Kimiko tipped backwards in her chair.

"OWWWWW!" She groaned, wiggling under the table for reasons unknown.

"I see you've learned how to squirm out of the way… It's a start, hm…" Deidara said, shaking his head.

"Hey! I found a something!" Kimiko yelled.

"What?" Kisame asked, looking under the table.

"I think it's another bomb…" Kimiko murmured, poking it.

"How much time is left on it?" Zetsu sighed.

"Umm… Let's see…" Kimiko murmured.

"Half a minute." She said.

"Oh…" everyone said.

"… Did you say _half a minute_?" Kisame exclaimed after an awkward silence went by.

"Ten seconds now…" Kimiko said.

"WELL HURRY UP AND DISABLE IT!" Everyone yelled at once.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?" Kimiko exclaimed, whipping out a kunai.

She sliced the first wire that she saw, again just as the timer hit 0.

"I GOT IT!" She yelled, pulling it free from the table and tossing it out to Deidara.

"Happy turkey day..." She said to him, crawling out from under the table.

"Another pipe bomb, un…" Deidara mumbled, holding it in his hands.

"Good thing I attacked the floor…" Kimiko murmured, sitting back down.

"What do you mean 'attacked the floor'?" Kakuzu asked.

"Well, I didn't _glomp_ the floor, did I? So I must've _attacked_ the floor." Kimiko said, settling down into her chair.

"…"

"Who's trying to kill us with pipe bombs? It's not like they can't think of something more creative…" Deidara said, sweat dropping.

"Well, we could be talking about those fucking Akatsuki haters. Jashin knows if you're not a fan you must be a dumbass…" Hidan muttered.

"Like you?" Kakuzu asked.

"Shut the fuck up, Kakuzu…" Hidan mumbled.

After they were done eating, they all layed down in the lounge room and fell asleep watching March of the Penguins; because what's more relaxing that Morgan Freeman and penguins waddling across the ice?

* * *

(1): Potter Puppet Pals in the Mysterious Ticking Noise. Sorry I cut it short. I'm a little off my game today…

(2): Not an actual snake. At least, I don't think so. It sounded cool. XD

If they were a lot of mistakes, I'm sorry.

Okay, so... Reviews? The last ones made my day. They really did. I was feeling like crap and you guys turned my day right around. :)


	54. Chapter 54: Dots in the snow

Hey there! I regret to inform you that this chappie is one of the very few serious ones that induce nightmares and cryfests. Sorry about that. Linkin Park does stuff to my brain.

WARNING: DON'T KILL ME IF YOU CRY WHILE READING THIS. I ALMOST CRIED ON MULTIPLE OCASSIONS WHILE WRITING IT.

Disclaimer: I. DON'T. OWN.

* * *

Kimiko's POV

After waking up from my little nap, I climbed off the couch and stumbled out of the lounge room, finding everyone's comatose presence to be suffocating.

"Time to walk it off…" I mumbled, heading to my room.

I grabbed my MP3 player off my desk and started walking through the dark hideout.

When I turned on my MP3, I was almost blinded, but after blinking a few times, my eyes adjusted.

It was 11:00 at night, according to my MP3's clock.

I popped in the earphones and began walking.

The stone floor was cold, and my bare feet didn't like it very much, but I didn't take much time to notice.

In case you haven't figured it out already, I don't trust my own judgment when it comes to picking songs, so I set my MP3 player to play all my songs by Linkin Park, since Linkin Park seems to know how to describe my life so well.

(When this began)  
I had nothing to say  
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me  
(I was confused)  
And I let it all out to find  
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind  
(Inside of me)  
But all that they can see the words revealed  
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel  
(Nothing to lose)  
Just stuck, hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong

And I've got nothing to say  
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
(I was confused)  
Looking everywhere only to find  
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind  
(So what am I)  
What do I have but negativity  
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me  
(Nothing to lose)  
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone  
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong

I will never know myself until I do this on my own  
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed  
I will never be anything till I break away from me  
I will break away, I'll find myself today

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real  
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong  
Somewhere I belong

"Such a befitting song…" I muttered.

This brought up a long avoided conversation with myself.

_Do _I belong here?

I never wanted the question answered, because I already knew the answer.

No way in hell would I ever belong anywhere!

That thought ran through my head countless times before I ran away from what I could call a home.

But, just for the briefest moments; just for a split second or less; I felt like I had somewhere to belong. That place was the Akatsuki.

Sadly, that thought was smashed to pieces in the next moment, but I never thought much of them until I had time to think.

Then, the next song came on.

Wake in a sweat again  
Another day's been laid to waste  
In my disgrace

Stuck in my head again  
Feels like I'll never leave this place  
There's no escape

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up  
I'm sick of feeling  
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away  
I'm suffocating  
Tell me what the fuck is wrong  
With me

I don't know what to take  
Thought I was focused but I'm scared  
I'm not prepared

I hyperventilate  
Looking for help somehow somewhere  
And no one cares

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up  
I'm sick of feeling  
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away  
I'm suffocating  
Tell me what the fuck is wrong  
With me

Goddddddd!

Put me out of my misery  
Put me out of my misery  
Put me out of my  
Put me out of my fucking misery

I've given up  
I'm sick of feeling  
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away  
I'm suffocating  
Tell me what the fuck is wrong  
With me

"There's a blast from the past…" I said, finding myself in an entirely new corridor.

Makes me really wonder what was _really_ going through my head before I left Konoha, I thought.

I listened to the wisdom of Linkin Park for a few more minutes before finding myself wandering out to the patio deck.

When I sat down on the patio swing, I light snow began falling.

I was fascinated by snow, because it never really snowed too badly in Konoha, and when it did, I was always too sick to enjoy it.

Anemia sucks, I thought.

As I watched it fall, I was struck with a sudden headache.

Not the usual low hum of pain that I always feel, but the kind that feels like you just got stabbed through the head with a kunai.

I grabbed my head, but my eyes didn't leave the scenery.

Then, a memory came to mind.

Oh shit not another one, I thought, trying to think about something else.

But it was too late.

(flashback)

Kimiko stood quietly peering out of her bedroom window, her cold feet tiptoeing off the cold floor to get a better look.

She watched with childish curiosity as the other children in her neighborhood romped and ran about the streets, playing in the newly fallen snow.

Kazuki was down the road in his friend's yard, having a snowball fight.

Kimiko sighed and wiped her cold nose with one of her little, cold hands.

"You're supposed to be at the academy." Her mother said from the doorway.

Kimiko jumped, startled by her mother's sudden appearance.

"B-… But I'm sick, Mommy. I don't want to get anyone else sick." Kimiko squeaked, pulling her arms closer to her in an attempt to keep warm.

"I don't care. You either go to the academy or I'll lock you outside until I decide to let you back in." Her mother whispered through gritted teeth, walking up to Kimiko and getting so close to her face that Kimiko could smell the alcohol on her breath.

Kimiko froze, her tiny hands starting to shake. She had no idea what to do, or how to respond.

"I guess I'll have to lock you outside then." Her mother said, grabbing Kimiko's forearm and dragging her to the backdoor.

Kimiko didn't dare fight back or put up any attempt at a struggle. She was cold, weak with hunger, and her mother would probably lock her outside longer.

Her mother opened the backdoor and shoved Kimiko out into the snowy backyard.

Kimiko shivered in the cold.

She looked up at the sky, watching the dainty snowflakes float down to the ground, disappearing with the others the moment they landed.

Her attention was then directed to the sound of children on the other side of the house and across the road.

Screaming, laughter, and happy shouts was all she heard.

"At least they're all happy…" She breathed.

She looked down at the ground, and cried.

When the tears hit the snowy ground under her bare feet, they created small bare spot where the snow once lied.

"Maybe one day God will decide to take me back home… Maybe... Just maybe…" She mouthed, watching her tears make little dots in the snow.

(End flashback)

I snapped out of my reminiscing state to find that an hour had gone by.

"So that's back when I believed in God…" I whispered, smirking.

I looked down, and cried.

I'm glad Mommy's not here, I thought, trying to cheer myself up.

When I did finally snap out of my melancholic moment, I stood up and went inside.

As I walked by the lounge room, I looked in.

There was everyone, lying dead asleep either on a couch or on the floor.

I smiled and wiped my eyes.

"You guys are all I got left…" I mouthed, hugging myself in an attempt to get warm again.

Suddenly, their comatose presences didn't seem so bad.

* * *

Told you it was sad... *sniffle*... And yet, we almost always see Kimiko with a smile on that pretty face of hers. :') Again, sorry about the sadness and total lack of humor in this chapter. I try not to, but we gotta deal with this kind of stuff sometimes...

... Reviews?


	55. Chapter 55: Kimiko's birthday!

Okay, the actual birthday chappie was really long and I just couldn't bring myself to keep you guys waiting any longer so I threw this together while simultaneously writing the Christmas chappie. GOD I'M LATE...

Disclaimer: You can say whatever you like. I don't own Naruto.

* * *

I woke up on that particular morning with a very bad headache and an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

After we had eaten breakfast and were all seated in the lounge watching TV, I kept getting a calculating looks from Deidara, Kisame, Itachi, Leader-Sama, Hidan, and Sasori. It bugged me, but I decided not to take action because I was too tired to do much.

Finally, a conversation started up.

"I think it would be interesting to have a birthday in December. None of us have our birthdays this month." Konan said.

"Tobi's birthday is on Christmas!" Tobi piped in, popping up form behind the couch.

"Oh, that's right…" Leader-Sama said slowly.

Tobi sweatdropped with blue depression lines on the back of his head.

"Hey, Kimiko?" Itachi asked.

I was a little caught up with my iPod and drinking from my juice box, but at the mention of my name I looked up.

"When's _YOUR_ birthday?" he asked.

I almost choked on my juice, and I sputtered on it a little before regaining a little dignity.

"Uhm… Hell, I don't know..." I said, placing my head on one of the loveseat's arms, trying to think.

"… Today…" I suddenly blurted, straightening up.

"Today?" He asked.

"Heh… Yeah, actually; I guess I forgot." I said, rubbing the back of my head and smiling, embarrassed.

"Oh, then happy birthday Kid." Hidan said, leaning over from his chair next to mine and ruffling my hair.

"Yeah, happy birthday, Sweetie." Konan said, smiling at me.

I couldn't tell whether it was the fact that I had just choked on juice or something else, but there was a lump that had developed in the back of my throat.

"How could you not know it wasn't your birthday, Hm?" Deidara asked.

"I don't like my birthday." I said, sipping the last of my juice to push the lump down.

"Why, un?"

"It's the day I gave to the world, a curse." I said as the overly dramatic mist rolled into the scene.

I got those increasingly common 'WTF' looks, so I decided to explain further.

"Me." I said, flipping upside down in my loveseat since I was getting lightheaded.

"It wasn't your fault you were born, Kimiko." Konan said.

"Yes, it is. I know there are people out there willing to say that I'm gifted and all that BS but I seriously will counteract such an untrue statement with the fact that I'm no gift, just a little worthless curse that should be ignored if they ever want to move on in life." I said, watching as the mist floated freely about the room in mild curiosity. I inwardly sweat dropped, adding to my mental to-do list 'Kill overly dramatic author'.

I had either lost everyone somewhere in my long boring statement, or they just didn't feel like agreeing with me or contradicting me. I was kind of hoping it was the first one.

Thud.

…

I was pinned to the floor.

"What kind of crap did it take to drill into your head that you're a worthless curse?"

I looked up at who had apparently thought it was okay to knock me out of my chair and pin me down in a violent manner.

"It's true, isn't it?" I suddenly retorted, smiling sadly.

This isn't me, it can't be me, I thought.

"I AM nothing. I AM worthless. And even IF I was worth something, I'd still be that curse that nobody could ever want." I said, looking past Deidara up at the ceiling to avoid hiss eyes.

Finally, I looked directly at him, just to see his reaction. I felt uncomfortable doing it, but I knew it had to be done.

Not surprisingly, his expression was unreadable, just like Hidan's handwriting.

"If you let me up, I'll let you try to contradict me." I offered, tilting my head.

"I don't need to let you up to contradict you." He said.

_Hug time._

STUPID GODDAMN AUTHOR BITCH, I thought, hearing the word echo across my mind.

Indeed, Deidara hugged me. And I liked it. It was better than the first real hug I received from Konan. It was the kind of hug I knew I had been searching for. The kind of hug that tells you it would all be okay. (1)

"I think I'm all better now." I said after a while.

Oh crap, the Deidara fangirls are gonna kill me and the people who know I'm a Mary Sue are right! I thought, my inner self dropping down and curling in a ball of sad.

Later on that day, during lunch time, I got a cell phone call from Miyu.

"Can we come and see you?"

"'_We_'?"

"Me, Makoto, and Hanako." She said.

"No one else?" I asked, surprised.

"Well, Takeo was gonna come but… He decided not to last minute."

"No Takehiko, had Takeo decided to come?"

"You should know by now that when I say 'Takeo' then Takehiko will be coming too, and vice versa." She said, annoyed.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes. Those two are borderline incest they're so close."

"Well there's a pretty picture."

"Never mind your fantasies. Can we come over?" (2)

"Sure."

"Are THEY okay with it?"

"No. Just perform code number 18 8 5 1 11."

"… What code was that again?"

"Sneak, Dumbbutt." I said.

"Oh. Alright. What time?"

"Anytime today."

"Okay. Bye."

"Yeah, bye-bye."

I hung up and went back to eating lunch.

"You're not still friends with the borderline incest boys, are you?" Hidan asked. It earned him a banana to the head.

"Word it more appropriately next time, Honey." I said, a tick vain in the sweatdrop on the back of my head.

"Besides. I know for a fact Takeo has a crush on his neighbor, who is girl. But I don't really know how to defend Takehiko…" I said, trailing off.

We finished lunch, and I hid in my room.

The tap on my window jolted me out of my dreamy state with a bag of Cheetos I had found under my bed.

I went and opened the window. Luckily, I was wearing my Akatsuki cloak at the time and I didn't sense the cold right away.

Miyu climbed in.

"Hey." She said softly, quickly hugging me.

Makoto and Hanako crawled in through the window.

"No one make any loud noises, and I'm sure we'll be fine." I said, locking the door.

"Hey, what's with the origami rose?" Miyu asked, picking up the special red origami rose Konan made for me.

"Oh, Uhm… Birthday present from Konan." I said, grabbing it and clipping it to my hair.

"It's your birthday today?" Miyu asked, taken aback.

"… Well, yeah." I said, blushing.

"Oh, happy birthday then, you little freak!" She said, attacking me with one of her hugs again.

"So, how old are you now?" Hanako asked.

"Gee, I don't know. Twelve, maybe?" I said sarcastically, smiling.

"They grow up so fast..." Makoto said, smirking.

"Shut up." I said, elbowing him and blushing.

"How could you not know it was your birthday?" Miyu asked. I could've easily repeated the whole incident from the lounge, but I decided to let them down easy and shrug.

"I guess I just never really saw any reasons to acknowledge it." I said, plopping down on my bed.

"You sick little weirdo." Miyu said, sitting down next to me and giving me one of those strange looks that told me she was about to get launched into a whole lecture.

"Let's save the lectures for another day, Miyu-chan." I said, pushing a finger against her lips with a sweatdrop developing on the back of my head for what felt like the millionth time that day.

We talked quietly for a little while, but right in the middle of a debate about whether or not Johnny Depp was the hottest guy on the planet (a conversation Makoto was strangely silent during), I heard someone coming.

Miyu hid under my desk, Hanako hid in the closet, and Makoto hid under my bed.

I quickly unlocked the door and pretended to be working on chakra channeling.

It was only Tobi.

He didn't use the door like normal people though; He teleported in with a poof of smoke.

"Hi, Sweetie-chan!" he greeted, suddenly inches from my face.

"Hi, Tobi-kun." I said, a little surprised by yet another new nickname.

"Why is Kimi-hime suddenly using honorifics?" He asked, tilting his to the side, a trait he most likely learned from me.

"Because Kimi-hime feels bad that she hasn't been using them previously. Kimi-hime feels like a bad girl." I said, directing my gaze to the floor as if it required my attention. Talking in 3rd person was a lot more fun than I thought.

"Aw, Kimi-hime doesn't have to be sad. Tobi know Kimi-hime is a good girl." Tobi said, still inches from my face.

"Thanks, Tobi." I said, not the least bit uncomfortable, despite my position.

"Tobi has a question for Sweetie-chan." He said. Surprisingly, he didn't cut right to the chase. Either he really dreaded asking the question, or he just thought of the question at that particular moment.

I gave him a look that said I was ready for his question.

"Is Tobi a good boy?" He asked.

"Tobi is a very good boy. Tobi's a very good, good boy." I said, ruffling his hair.

He seemed satisfied with that answer, and after glomping me, he left with a poof of smoke that smelled like cotton candy.

"That's a new feature…" I mumbled, inhaling the sweet scent of cotton candy.

"Is he gone?" Makoto asked, peering out from under my bed.

"YUP." I said, sprawling out on the floor to get a good look at my ceiling.

"Well, we should be going. My brother's gonna kill me if I'm not back in time to get my shots…" Makoto said, sweatdropping and blue depression lines developing on the side of his head.

"As if Takeo and Takehiko weren't bad enough…" Miyu mumbled. That earned her a pencil to the back of the head.

"Will you QUIT with the incest stuff already?" I said another pencil ready to fire in my grip.

"Besides, it's not incest because they don't kiss or bang each other out." I said matter-of-factly. (3)

"Are you referring to Takeo and Takehiko or me and my brother?" Makoto asked.

"Well, we all saw Takehiko and Takeo getting really close to snogging it out that one time in front of their house-…" Hanako began.

"And you can't deny THAT much evidence, can you?" Makoto added, lying down on my bed.

"86 it, Honey. I'm winning." I said, pushing his head down onto the bed to shut him up.

"I will admit, that was creepy but-… Okay, yeah. There's probably something going on there, but if they ARE indeed incesting it, then this problem is bigger than any of us." I said, not knowing whether I had won or lost.

"Let's drop this conversation before we say something we'll regret." Miyu said, placing a hand over her eyes; her thumb on one temple and her middle finger on the other.

They climbed out of the window, and I went to go watch Family Guy with Hidan and whoever else happened to be watching TV at the time.

After they left, I got to eat all the cupcakes I wanted and I got random yet awesome presents from anyone who happened to be talented at making things.

So, my birthday wasn't a total pile of crap like it was ever other year of my life.

And, as I sat at on the patio with everyone else, watching the random light snowfall with them, I zoned out for a moment. For one, fleeting and hazy moment, I felt like I belonged.

* * *

(1): Oh gosh… Do you know how hard that was to keep from turning it into a really long, crappy, deep, emotional paragraph? *falls over*

(2): You may not realize it, but Kimiko is a fangirl herself. *smiles evilly*

(3): For all those fangirls out there, I'm pretty sure you know what I mean. *laughs*

Okay. The REAL birthday chapter is almost done, and then I can hopefully finish up the Christmas chappie. Go ahead and pelt me with random objects, because I know deserve it. XD

You can review if you want. Sorry if there are a lot of errors. It's late and I'm tired. =_= But your reviews make it all woth while. *smiles sleepily*


	56. Chapter 56:Kimiko's REAL bday adventure

LATENESS. So sorry about that. It just kind of turned itself into a light novel... Heh...

This thing took me forever. I had NO IDEA this was gonna get so long. Sorry. I'm still working on the Christmas and New Year's chapters too so… Don't worry though. If I could complete this, then I can probably do the Christmas and New Year's chapters no problem.

WARNING: There is Kimiko bashing, and MAJOR Mary-Sue cheesy moments in this, but I can't think of any way to fix it, so here you go. Don't hate me. I apologize in advance for all the Mary-Sue moments. *bows*… Okay, I'll let you read it. OH, you better go to the bathroom now, because this thing is unbelievably long.

Disclaimer: Do you really want me to say it? I OWN NOTHING. THE SONGS AREN'T MINE, THE BRAND NAMES AREN'T MINE, THE CHARACTERS ASIDE FROM THE OC's AREN'T MINE, NARUTO IS NOT MINE!

You guys probably liked that birthday chappie right before this, right? Well, this is what REALLY happened. I'm so evil... :D

* * *

Walking through the streets of a tiny village at 9:00 in the morning was a rather sadly familiar feeling to me, especially with the snow blowing and whizzing around like it hoped to sweep you up into another world. It only fueled the train of memories that enjoyed visiting me.

Every time I remembered something from the most painful points of my early childhood, I got a rather painful and unbearable headache.

"Something is wrong with me, something is wrong with me…" I would often whisper, clutching my head.

As I edged along through the freezing streets, I felt the cell phone in my pocket vibrating.

'Incoming call'

I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Did you make it?" Konan asked.

"Yeah, surprisingly. Why can't we use the car to drive places like normal badass criminals?" I asked, stepping into the wind block of a narrow alleyway.

"Because, we need GAS MONEY. That's your job. Just steal some cash and we can get gas for the car." She said.

"Why do I always have to do the hard work?" I asked.

"You're the youngest. Besides, all you've been doing is staying at home and playing video games and sleeping." She mumbled.

"We ALL do that, Konan." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Don't be getting smart with me, young lady."

"Gomensai, Konan-Sama." I said, shivering in the cold.(1)

"Daijyoubu desu, Kimiko." (2)

"Alright, so all I have to do is steal money?" I asked.

"Yes. Just don't die."

"I'll try my best." I said sarcastically.

"Okay, bye."

"Yeah, peace." I said. I hung up and stuffed the phone into my pocket.

As I was walking down the chilly street, I tried to formulate a plot to get money.

I was so busy trying to think of an awesome plan, and I didn't notice the patch of ice in front of me.

I slipped on the ice, and everyone was too busy to even notice that I had probably broken something.

Only one person stopped.

She was a pretty girl, with short pink hair and a thing for the color red. (3)

"Are you okay?" She asked, concern in her light green eyes.

I was taken aback, as I didn't think anyone had even noticed my spill, and here was someone trying to help!

"Um… Y-yeah, I guess." I said shyly as she stood me up.

I winced when I tried to move my right wrist.

"Oh, that might be sprained. Let me take a look." She said, gently taking it in her hand.

"Yeah, it looks like a sprain. Don't worry, I can help."

Her hand glowed with bright green healing chakra, and she held it over my wrist for a moment or two.

It stung and burned very badly, but I too stunned to do anything.

"There. Is that any better?" She asked.

I moved it. It felt a little sore, but it was fine.

"Th-… Thank you." I said, surprised.

"No problem. Be more careful next time." She said. She smiled warmly, and turned to leave.

I looked down and saw that she had dropped her wallet on the ground.

I picked it up.

"Hey." I said.

She turned.

"This is yours." I said, handing it to her.

"Thanks." She said, smiling at me again.

"No problem." I said, giving her a smile and walking away.

I was surprised by what I just did. Stealing the wallet didn't even cross my mind.

After several minutes of walking, I discovered 3,000 ryo in a small bag on the ground. I actually looked up at the sky and inwardly yelled 'ARE YOU PLAYING WITH ME?' but seeing as nothing else happened, I leaned down and picked it up.

I stuffed it into my pocket with my cell phone, and continued walking.

After a little while of walking, I rounded a corner.

My eyes settled on the scene before me.

There was Makoto. And Hanako. KISSING.

And I'm not talking about the friendly kind of friendly kissing that friendly friends do (2), I'm talking an all out tongue war.

Had it not been for the fact that it was my boyfriend and my best friend kissing each other, I would've laughed.

But I wasn't laughing. Quite the opposite, actually.

For whatever reason, they parted for air and looked right at me.

RIGHT AT ME.

Jashin-sama must've hated me that day.

I locked eyes with both of them for approximately 2 seconds, and I could've sworn I saw the faintest trace of a smile on Hanako's face. Then I was walking in the other direction, wiping the tears away from my face. (4)

Makoto, being the badass ninja he is, teleported right into my path.

"Kimiko, wait." He begged.

Whatever eyes I gave him must've broken something in him, because he seemed to come to a realization of some sort.

I wisped past him and sped down the path, eyes on the ground.

I had no time to recover however.

I bumped into someone after 4 minutes of speed walking with my head down.

"S-Sorry." I said quickly, swerving around whoever I had just bumped into.

"… Ryoko…?"

I froze dead in my tracks, eyes wide.

WHAT THE FUCK, I mentally screamed. I instinctively turned around. Although I had been called 'Kimiko' for at least half a year now, responding to 'Ryoko' was never out of the question.

No… NO! I thought.

"K-… Kazuki…?"

I turned around slowly.

It was the same Kazuki. My Kazuki. My big brother.

"Is… That you… Kazuki?" I stuttered, surprised I hadn't fainted from all the different emotions I was feeling at once. I had no idea where the tears were coming from anymore. I just didn't know.

"You haven't changed a bit, Sis." He said, a surprised smile tugging at the ends of his mouth.

"You… You haven't either…" I said, wiping my eyes again.

"Are you… Crying?" He asked, blinking.

I ignored his question.

"I… I can't deal with you right now, okay? I just can't…" I said, turning away from him.

"Fine, I understand. Then call me when you are." He said with concern and reluctance in his tone, slipping a piece of paper into my pocket and disappearing.

I turned, and gave him a look. It must've been a smile, or something close, because he smiled back.

I ran ahead and turned a corner.

There stood two guys. Luckily I saw their feet and maneuvered past them before they could even touch me, but they followed me.

"Hey, kid." One of them said.

I spun around.

"Hm?" I squeaked.

"Give us your money."

I wasn't prepared to be mugged, and to be honest, I couldn't really care less what happened to me that day.

"I… I don't have… any…" I blurted, backing up into a wall.

"It's not nice to lie, little girl."

"Look… I-I… I don't know… what… you're talking about…" I said, trying to act as confused as I could.

"Are you gonna hand over the money, or are we gonna have to beat it out of you?"

I don't know whether I was angry, or if I was even really feeling, but I walked up to them.

"Go ahead and beat me up. I couldn't give a damn how you two idiots get money out of me that I don't have, because this day cannot get any worse for me." I whispered rather unemotionally.

They stood unmoving for 10 seconds.

"I guess we'll just have to beat you up, then."

One of them grabbed onto my forearm and dragged me into a narrow alleyway that I'm betting no one could see into.

He threw me onto the frozen, icy ground, and just so no one in the reading audience feels bad for me, he didn't scratch me. We all know how bad it hurts to scratch something in the cold.

Several minutes of getting killed later…

They raced out of the alleyway in the off chance I would try to get help, disappointed that they could extract no money out of me.

I shakily stood up; wincing after I was sure they were gone.

Great, a sprained ankle, I thought.

I had to admit (although it would earn me major Mary Sue points) that had I fought back, we'd be having a whole different conversation about hiding bodies.

I sat back down on the icy ground, and got to work healing myself up.

I figured I better fix the sprained ankle first; then my bruised ribs would probably need some tending to.

But healing with my left hand was hard; either because I was all shaky, or because I sprained my left wrist. I guess I'll never know.

I was able to get my ankle and injured ribs taken care of, but I ran out of chakra too quickly, so I had to press on with a split lip, sprained wrist, and probably some other stuff I never cared to notice.

Luckily, Miyu and I had spent several hours sitting on the computer, looking up the most hilarious and pointless crap we could think of the day before, so I was able to keep the sad thoughts away for a moment or two.

By some miracle of the human spirit, I crawled home without dying.

I attempted to ninja past the lounge room on my way to change out of my damp clothing, but I failed and ended up knocking over a random object in the hall, and that just kind of ruined the moment.

"Kimiko! Get in here!" Konan said.

"No." I called, hoping my voice hadn't cracked.

"We have pocky."

I moaned, but peered inside.

"What?"

"Why do you look injured?"

"… I fell…"

"On what?"

"… down some stairs…"

"Which stairs?"

"Those ones… You know, those ones… In front of that place…"

"No, I don't. Now get in here."

"Why?"

"Just get in here right now."

I walked in, lied down on one of the couches, sighed, and closed my eyes.

After an awkward pause, I opened one eye.

"Okay. Where's my pocky…?" I asked faintly.

Konan rudely ignored my question.

"What happened to you?"

I ignored her question, and pulled the bag of ryo out of my pocket.

"I brought money, be happy." I said, sliding the baggy of money across the coffee table and hoping it was aimed in Konan's direction.

I wanted to cry, I really wanted to, but you have to understand one thing.

I don't like crying. Plus, if I did by some odd reason ever decide to cry in front of everyone else, I had the gut feeling that they would decide to comfort me.

It meant they didn't hate me.

It meant that should I ever end up dying from something the author blindly throws at me and can't fix, they just might miss me a little. They just might wonder why it was me; why I had to go and not them. Who'd want to put that kind of hurt on anyone else?

No matter how tough you think you are, your emotions will catch up with you one day. And you might not be able to hold back those hot, stinging tears like you could all those other times. Sometimes, it's okay to just sit down and cry. I never got the privilege of such a lesson in my childhood, and crying, to me, is the worst thing to do in front of other people. It meant that your emotions could send you into a downward spiral, deeper and deeper until you felt every harsh word, every little sting of getting the cold shoulder. Everything that could hurt you would indeed make you hurt. There was no protection left. You were out in a cruel, unforgiving world with no protection. (5)

My whole episode of emotionally deep thought lasted a minute or two, and I realized that there was something warm and wet sliding down my face.

OH MY JASHIN NO, I thought, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. I winced, remembering I had sprained it. The other one was sore from the cold, and for a faint moment I thought about that girl with the pink hair.

"Do you want your pocky now?" Konan asked. I had a feeling she saw what I had wiped away from my eyes.

I nodded.

She handed me a pocky stick, and I sat there, staring up at the ceiling and nibbling at the end of it.

Pein's POV

Kimiko, being the little trooper she is, sat there on one of the couches, her eyes gazing up at the ceiling with those eyes that never really seemed to be staring. Just, there.

"You wanna tell me how these stairs tripped you up so badly?" Konan asked, her voice a little suspicious.

Kimiko, who I had thought to have checked out* a while ago, was quiet for a moment. (*Checked out: Akatsuki slang for zoned out).

"They weren't very nice stairs." She said finally.

"Mmmhmm…" Konan said, still suspicious.

"How are those little friends of yours?" She asked.

I don't what secret meaning those words had, but Kimiko stood up and swiftly walked out, mumbled a 'fine' under her breath.

"Here Kakuzu. Gas money." Konan said after a few minutes of awkwardness, throwing the bag at Kakuzu's face. He caught it with ease, but he still shot her a look that made it seem like she had hit him.

"3.000 ryo?" he asked once the money had been counted, pleasantly surprised.

I had a feeling that something was up, so I looked over at Deidara, who was in the corner of the room, modeling clay birds to blow up Tobi with.

Kimiko's POV

I swept out of the room with what little dignity I had left, and once I had shut the door to my room, I stumbled to the bed and lied down.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HURT ME?" I said to no one in particular.

"Who are you talking to?" Kumomaru said, once again coming out of the woodwork. I'm assuming he didn't care about the number of visual injuries littering my hands and face.

"Everyone who I've met today…" I said, sitting up and pressing my bruised forehead against the wall.

"What happened?" He asked, plopping down next to me.

"Yeah, we could use a good story." Ghost said, Shadow on his tail.

"No, I don't want to talk about it…" I said with a little difficulty (there was a painful lump in the back of my throat), blinking profusely, as my eyes were stinging.

"Tell us or I will keep asking you." He said. I don't know why, but his accent was comforting.

I sighed.

"…I got beat up by 2 guys because I refused to give them money, I caught Makoto making out with Hanako, and I ran into Kazuki while running away from Makoto who saw that I saw him kissing Hanako." I said, my tone getting more melancholic as my explanation continued, and by the time I had reached 'running' my voice was already high and shaky.

"Wow, you had a bad day…" Ghost said, rubbing up against my back.

I nodded and smiled sadly, drawing a quick gulp of air.

"So, how's Kazuki? Is he still the same?" Shadow asked.

"He gave me his number… I could call him right now…" I said, grabbing my phone.

But, knowing I wasn't ready to deal with him, I put down the phone and curled up in a ball.

"You can cry, you know." Kumomaru said out of nowhere.

"No, I can't. I hate being emotional. Just let me die in peace…" I said, crawling under the covers and closing my eyes, hoping I hadn't already began tearing up.

"You already have post traumatic stress disorder and stress anxiety, I don't think you need to add depression to the mix too." He symphonized. I could be wrong, but I thought I had seen a flash of concern in his deep blue eyes.

I didn't answer.

"What event upset you the most?" He asked.

"It's a tie between Makoto tongue wrestling Hanako and running into Kazuki." I said, feeling a lump in the back of my throat again.

"Makoto kissed Hanako?" He asked after an awkward silence.

"Yes… He kissed Hanako because he hates me and he knows he was too good for me… He doesn't want me to be his girlfriend anymore, and now I have Kazuki to worry about…" I groaned, my voice cracking at the end of my statement.

MARY-SUE MOMENT, I thought instinctively.

"It's quite the opposite, Kimiko. You were too good for him. You're the most badass, freaky, sweet, beautiful ninja bitch I've ever met, and Makoto made the biggest mistake of his life giving you up." Kumomaru said after a few moments.

_SQUEEEEEEEE_!

I love you, Silence, I mentally screamed over DeafeningSilence's Squee.

"Aww, you stupid little bastard." I said, sitting up and giving Kumomaru a hug.

"Thanks." I said, swallowing the lump that had been burning in my throat and wiping my eyes.

He got up and left after our touching moment, and I was left to sit staring up at the ceiling, blinking back tears that just wouldn't go away.

Knock knock.

"What?" I asked, hoping against hope my voice didn't crack.

"If you don't open the fucking door I will fucking hurt you."

"Get the fuck away from my room, Hidan." I said, rolling onto my side, my back to the door.

"We have cookies, hm." Deidara said.

"I'm telling Leader-Sama you guys are the ones who ate the last of the ramen!" I called, hoping that would get them to leave.

"We know about the Makoto thing."

HOLY (a million different cuss words later…) THEY FUCKING KNOW, I thought, my eyes wide.

"WHAT THING?" I asked.

"Let us in and we won't have to scream it to you through the fucking door." Hidan threatened.

"Fine…" I said after careful consideration.

"The door, by the way, is fucking OPEN." I said.

I could feel their massive sweatdrops from the other side of the door. They came in none the less, EPIC FAIL in kanji stamped on their foreheads with chibi depression expressions. I mentally fangirl squealed, and I figured that was from DeafeningSilence's side.

"Gimme the cookies, and I won't hurt you." I said, sitting up and looking at them.

"No cookies yet." Deidara said, locking the door.

"OH MY JASHIN !" I yelled, crawling under my bed.

"Shut up, bitch." Hidan snapped uncomfortably.

"How do you know about the Makoto thing…?" I asked.

"You mean there's something going on with you two, hm?" Deidara asked.

I felt a sweatdrop.

"Yeah." I said. I guess I should've known they were taking wild stabs in the dark.

"Alright, what is that little bastard trying to make you do now, hm?" Deidara asked.

"You guys always assume the worst." I said.

"Well, what else is there left to assume?" Hidan asked.

"Look, I'd rather not talk about it." I said, curling up under the bed and grabbing my cheez-its box for comfort.

"Aww, c'mon. Talking about it will make you feel better."

"You say that, but it never works."

"C'mon, all you have to do is tell us. We'll never bring it up again, and we'll give you your cookies."

"Fine… I caught him kissing another girl…" I said finally, pressing my face against the carpet in hopes I would somehow keep me from crying.

"That little bitch-…. Do you want us to beat him up for you?" Hidan asked.

"I thought I was your little bitch…?" I asked, my voice high once again.

"THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR CRAZY SUBJECT CHANGING. WHEN SOMEONE HURTS MY LITTLE BITCH THEY ARE GOING DOWN." Hidan snapped.

"Drop it, Hidan. He's got a badass, protective older brother and I don't think I want to kill him just yet…" I commanded rather unthreateningly.

"Who are you and what have you done with Kimiko, hm?" Deidara asked.

"I'm just telling you what you told me to do." I said, catching sight of a dust bunny.

"Alright… Good girl hm. Now here's your cookies." Deidara said, sliding a baggy of oatmeal cookies under the bed.

"Thanks. Now go away before the author decides to make me start crying."

Being the kind of ninja they are (the kind of ninja who avoid emotional moments) they high tailed it out of the room, leaving me to nom on my cookies with over-emotional blue depression lines concealing my eyes.

Pein's POV

At dinner, I had the feeling that there was something I was missing between Hidan and Deidara. Kimiko on the other hand fell asleep in her chair, and she was just about to face-plant into her rice bowl when Hidan and Deidara started in.

"Oi, Kimiko." Hidan called.

Kimiko bolted upright, her dreamy green eyes blinking to adjust to the sudden change in light.

"How's that boy toy of yours?"

I would've thought Kimiko's reaction would be worse.

She simply stared at him with her jaw dropped.

"You said… You wouldn't…" She stuttered, having an anime shock moment.

"KIMIKO CROTCH KICK!"

Crack.

Hidan screamed so loud I thought that perhaps Kimiko had injured him beyond repair. She very-well might've.

He lay passed out buried in a pile of snow outside, a big hole blown through the hideout.

It was our turns to have our jaws drop.

Kimiko stood in the center of where the hole began, panting and leaning on her right side.

"Uhm… He's… Not gonna… live through this, is he…?" Sasori asked.

"Oh, he'll live. Just, not quite as much a man…" Kakuzu said, sweatdropping. (6)

I now believe she is the reason the Akatsuki men now hold their hands over their manhood when feeling unconventionally threatened.

After we were sure Kimiko wouldn't attack anyone else out of pure over-excitement and Hidan had been brought in, we repaired the several rock walls Kimiko had managed to smash Hidan through. We then locked Kimiko in a closet to keep her from finding a way to kill him.

Then, as our author would have it, Hidan and Kakuzu shared a moment that bordered on the lines of yaoi, but that could only be defined if you squinted.

It went along the lines of Kakuzu checking the damage (insert massive sweatdrop from me), and Hidan waking up, which led to an awkward soul staring moment between the two.

I think Kimiko sensed what was going on, because she squealed from her closet.

Long story short, Kimiko was treated for an over-excerted sprained ankle that she must've had before kicking Hidan, given it was nearly broken and even I must admit she usually doesn't injure easily.

We didn't question her on the subject Hidan had blindly brought up in front of her in fear of being kicked, and Konan wasn't quite ready to deal with Kimiko after such an uncharacteristic action from her. Surprisingly, it was pride that shone through the most on Konan's face, and I couldn't really blame her for it.

Kimiko's POV

The next morning, I was awoken by my sprained wrist slamming uncomfortably against the wall of the closet.

After many curses and trying to remember where I was, I found myself in the closet, my neck stiff and my damaged mind screaming for freedom. It brought me back to the earlier days of childhood, and I guessed that was why I had such terrible and relentless nightmares throughout the night that just wouldn't allow me to snap awake.

After many failed attempts at trying to get out, I found myself hoping that someone would come and comfort me. I was on a borderline depression state (one that was an all too common feeling in my earlier years of life), and a hug or an encouraging word would probably do me some good.

I finally gave up on being found and tried to work out how I would have to deal with being sent to hell, when I realized that I had to go wee. Very badly.

You must know how bad it feels when you have to go wee and there's no bathroom or hope of getting to one in time.

"It's times like these where I wish I was a boy…" I murmured, squirming with uncomfortable energy.

I thought about smashing down the door, but with my left limbs sprained and the fact that my sugar rush was gone and I had no energy reserves left made such a normally common event difficult.

I was about to burst when I heard someone walk by.

Since I'm such an expert stalker, I recognized the footsteps as Sasori's.

"SASORI, THANK JASHIN…" I yelled, banging on the door.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

"Kimiko? Are you still in the closet?" He asked.

"Yes, sadly. Now get me the fuck out before I die of bladder failure."

He opened the door, and I tumbled out with an elated sigh.

I face-planted on the floor with a thud, and I wasted no time in giving him a look of pure and utter gratitude before sprinting to the bathroom and screaming a relived 'HALLAJUAH!'

When I came out, I walked up to Sasori, got shimmery anime eyes, and gave him a big hug.

"I WILL ONE DAY GET UP ENOUGH COURAGE TO SCREAM TO THE WORLD THAT I LOVE YOU…" I said.

"Good to know, Kid." He said, sharing the Mary-Sue moment.

Later that day, after I had stumbled around long enough to get nourishment and a quick and depressing nap, we were called to the meeting room.

Leader-Sama and everyone else were startled by my sudden appearance in the meeting room, and it didn't take long for realization to dawn on them.

"We forgot to let you out of the closet, didn't we…?"

"No, you decided to not remember." I said sarcastically, crossing my arms.

"Um… Well… Sorry." Leader-Sama stuttered after a moment.

"Don't worry about it." I said finally, hoping I had at least grinned a little.

"Alright, today's agenda…" He began, grabbing a paper that had been carelessly tossed on the table in front of him.

"The funds we received from the contest in Wal-Mart are still apparently untouched, and I thought a vacation would be an order. We could use a little break."

I tipped back in my chair.

"EH?" the largest majority of us chimed in shock.

"You heard me." He said casually.

"AWESOME!" I yelled once I had figured out he was serious.

"May I ask WHERE we are going to vacation, hm?" Deidara asked.

After being filled in, he dropped another bomb.

"We're leaving tomorrow, by the way."

"WHAT THE FUCK…?" Hidan and I yelled in excited unison.

"You better start packing."

Everyone filed rather swiftly out of the room. Meanwhile, it took me 20 minutes to figure out how to get up off the ground without further injury to my sprains.

Packing wasn't much of a challenge. I finished in half an hour (a long time, I know), and I decided to go see if perhaps I could be of some assistance, despite my left side being in its state of unhelpfulness.

I was really hoping I wasn't coming down with a mild case of depression, because the events of the day before basically beat me down pretty badly. Wouldn't you feel a little down too?

Hidan and Deidara were no help, and luckily my deadly crotch kick instincts overwhelmed me, or else I probably would've had to tell everyone. That would've ruined it for everybody.

As I glared impassively at my now wrapped ankle and wrist (which had been splinted, courtesy of Konan), I calculated who would be needing help.

My first assumption was Tobi.

Sure, he went out of his way to give me heart attacks and scare the crap out of me, but he was usually a pretty fun person to watch TV with, and he was the only one who I could really believe when he said he didn't hate me.

I stood and skulked down to Tobi's room, where I had to question whether it was wise to enter the dragon's lair.

Before I had time to question my failing judgment however, I was startled out of my thoughts by me getting dragged into Tobi's room.

Before I could even scream, a hand was over my mouth and the door was locked.

"Shh, Kimi-hime." Tobi whispered.

I pushed his hand away from my mouth.

"What is it, Tobi?" I asked, a little curious as to why he would go as far as to drag me into his room and lock the door.

"Can Kimi-hime keep a secret?" He asked quietly, looking around as if someone might be watching. It _was_ quite dark in his surprisingly clean room, so you never know.

"Of course I can!" I said, squirming around where we both sat on the floor of his room.

"Okay. Tobi was looking for Leader-Sama's candy that he always hides in his desk, when he found something in Leader-Sama's top secret drawer that said he was planning on replacing Kimi-chan and kicking her out!" He said, a little uncomfortably close to my face.

I'm pretty sure my heart fell down into my stomach.

"… W-… What…? Me…? He wants to… replace me… and kick me out…?" I stuttered more to myself than Tobi, pushing myself up against a nearby wall.

"Tobi thinks it would be really sad if Kimi-hime left. Then things wouldn't be the same. And Tobi likes the way things are right now." He said.

"I did too, Tobi… I did… too…" I said, getting shimmery sad anime eyes and looking at the floor.

"Tobi loves Kimi-hime, and he wouldn't like it if Leader-Sama replaced her, because no one can replace Kimi-hime."

If he hadn't just told me Leader-Sama wanted to kick me out, I would've squealed fanigirlishly and died of happiness, but since that hadn't happened, I looked up at him.

"Aww, Tobi…" I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He didn't seem too surprised by my reaction.

"Thank you…" I said a little sheepishly, pulling away from him after realizing what the fudge I had just done.

"No need to thank me, Kimi-chan." He said. I could tell, even though he still had his mask on, that he was smiling.

"Can you help Tobi pack now?" He asked after a bit of an awkward silence.

"Sure." I said, getting up and unlocking the door. It wasn't a comfortable feeling being locked in a room with Tobi. You can blame all the times I have been locked in closets with him.

After helping Tobi with his packing, I went back to my room, crawled into my walk-in closet, curled up on the floor, and I started laughing.

Yes, laughing.

Why the bloody hell am I laughing, you ask?

I actually believed I could trust everyone in the Akatsuki.

I actually, seriously, sincerely believed I could put my faith in them. Sure, Makoto and the others were okay, but after the event that happened the day before, I was skeptical about their trustfulness.

I thought that they were the only ones I could expect to tell me the truth when no one else could, but seeing as Leader-Sama wanted to get rid of me, how could I be sure the other members weren't in on it? Maybe even Tobi was in on it…

I lied there on the floor, a wearing a sad smirk and my face tracked with tears.

"Arigato…" I mouthed for reasons beyond my comprehension.

Pein's POV

The packing of suitcases was a total drag, because after I was sure I had packed everything, I would look at a random object and it would remind me that I forgot this, or that.

Then there was the occasional interruption of a clueless member, wanting to ask a dumb or obvious question that I, for some inexplicable reason, was always willing to answer.

Kimiko, surprisingly, had kept a low profile the entire time and I thought perhaps she was the one telling the members to ask me stupid questions in hopes of ticking me off.

I put up with my idiotic member's questions for the rest of the day, and they finally grew some brains and left me alone. I was nearly asleep by 2:00 in the morning, but after such a horrific and mind-numbing event, I found myself going to the kitchen for junk food stimulation.

I was surprised to see Kimiko sitting on one of the counters, a big bucket of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in her lap and the mini TV in front of her, set to Pirate's of the Caribbean; At World's End.

"Are you… Okay…?" I asked, a little confused.

She didn't even need to look at me, and I could tell she was rather displeased with me.

"I'm just fine." She said, tossing me a 'I'm about to slap a llama' sort of look with those sad eyes of hers. I could also tell she was too sad to do such an action as slapping anything, especially llamas, but I pressed forward anyways.

"No, you're not fine."

"Yes, I am."

"Kid, you're eating chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and seeking comfort from Johnny Depp at 2 in the morning, you're not fine." I said. (7)

She gazed at me with pupiless, calculating eyes. I was a little curious as to why she no longer had pupils, but the subject of her well-being was more important at the time.

"I'm sorry."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm just… Really sorry… That's all." She said, her gaze dropping to the floor.

"Um… Okay… Well, you better try to get some sleep."

She smiled, if not a little sadly, but it was a smile none the less.

"Okay…"

I lifted her off the counter and she slipped off into the darkness of the hideout.

I ate some of the ice cream and after watching a little 'Pirates of the Caribbean; At World's End', I was off to bed.

Kimiko, apologizing for something I knew she didn't do, however made me feel undeserving of her, but I fell into a nice sleep, Johnny Depp dancing about with a jar of dirt imprinted in my memory.

Kimiko's POV

I didn't plan on sleeping, so after Leader-Sama told me to go to bed, I drew pictures until 4:00, I took a shower, then I went to bed at around 5:00.

After what only seemed like a few minutes, Itachi was dragging the covers off me.

"… What…?" I moaned, half asleep.

"Time to get up, Kid. We're going on vacation, remember?" He asked.

"… Hn…" I muttered, burrowing into my pillows.

"That's my line." He said, whacking me with a nearby stuffed animal, which just happened to be Panda-Chan.

"Leader-Sama said you have to take your stuff out to one of the suburbans."

"… We're taking two…?"

"Yeah."

"… Can you take my stuff out there…?"

"No."

"… Please…?" I asked, using my puppy eyes.

"No."

"… Crap…"

"Just get up."

"… Fine…" I said, crawling out of the warmth of my bed.

I grabbed my bags and trekked out to the suburbans, both parks out in the snow.

I threw them into one of the trunks and went back inside, where I passed out in the kitchen on one of the counters.

Leader-Sama woke me up not 4 minutes later, saying I needed to go out and start both of the suburbans too.

He gave me the keys and I went out again, my hair still damp and my sprains aching.

After staring both the cars and kicking the heat on, I went back inside and tried to stay awake long enough to catch a little of the Early Show.

When it was finally time to leave, Leader-Sama told us to use the bathroom.

I took this opportunity to say a quick goodbye to my beloved animals and slip Kumomaru's locket around my neck.

When I came back to the bathroom scene, everyone was ready but Deidara.

We started heading out the door, and he just wouldn't hurry up.

I was the last one out the door besides him, so I decided to help things along.

"HURRY UP DEIDARA! JUST SQUEEZE AND WADDLE!" I yelled, closing the screen door and heading down to the suburbans.

I got serious 'WTF' looks from every other male in the Akatsuki, and an amused looked from Konan, but I countered them with an 'I WILL shoot' kind of look.

Deidara came out not a second later, locking the door behind him and running past me, a little disturbed by what I had just yelled.

"Okay, no potty breaks until we stop for gas, got that?" Leader-Sama asked, directing his glare towards me, Deidara, Tobi, and Itachi. It's a little known fact, but we all have weak bladders.

We all nodded.

"Alright. Off to your respective suburbans."

It turns out Konan and I would be placed in different suburbans, just because it would be more reasonable.

Since I'm the youngest, they all made me be the last one to get in, and I was placed between Itachi and Sasori.

I reached back into the cargo and dug around for my entertainment bag. After I found it, I dragged it up and threw it onto my lap with overly-dramatic effort.

I then dug around until I found my can of Monster and my MP3.

Sasori and Itachi were trying to mind molest me into giving them some of the loot, but just to tease them, I pretended not to notice.

I plugged myself into my MP3 and I was just about to die of relaxation when I remembered that I had skittles in my bag as well.

I pretended to put something back into my bag, grabbing the skittles in the process, and I stuffed them into my cloak pocket. Once I had done so, I tried to open them while simultaneously not make noise.

If you've ever done this, you'll know it's a physically impossible task.

It was also dead silent in the suburban, so it practically echoed off the sides of the car.

"What are you eating?"

"I CAN'T EVEN BE SLY…"

An hour or two later, I finally passed out; despite the numerous attempts I made to stay awake.

Pein's POV

About an hour or so down the road, everyone kind of zoned out, and I knew for a fact that some people passed out.

I was driving the suburban containing the ones with the weakest bladders, which meant Kimiko, Deidara, Tobi, Itachi, and Sasori just to keep Deidara and Tobi in line.

I got bored, so I turned on the police scanner to see what we could've been doing.

Upon hearing the word 'explosion' and 'pocky warehouse' in the same sentence, Kimiko, who had previously been in a coma-like sleep in the back, bolted upright and yelled 'I DIDN'T DO IT'.

We all face-palmed.

Sometimes I wonder if she ever really sleeps.

At our first gas stop, I told everyone to get out and go to the bathroom now.

Everyone had to go, including the people in Kakuzu's suburban. Probably because Kimiko had been passing out energy drinks before she passed out, but I guess we'll never know.

The parking lot was a mess of people, but I didn't think much of it. The largest majority gave me an uneasy feeling, but I didn't say anything to Kakuzu.

Kakuzu and I went to pay for the gas while everyone else went to the bathroom.

We paid for it pretty quickly, and everyone else was still getting their business done.

There were no problems going out to our cars. It actually seemed peaceful and quiet, a huge contrast to the scene a moment ago. Too quiet.

About 2 seconds later, the rest of the Akatsuki came flying from the store, crazed and rabid fangirls right behind them.

It was quite amusing.

At one point, Deidara fell over and a fangirl was able to grab onto his shoe.

When someone finally decided to turn around and notice, he was already getting dragged into the shadows of deadly fangirl intent that always appear out of nowhere.

"HELLLLLLLLLLLLLP MEEEEEEE!" He screamed, disappearing from view.

"DEIDARA!" Kimiko screeched.

Kimiko pulled something out from under her shirt with her good hand, as the other was of little use being in a splint.

She waved it around in front of the fangirls currently engulfing Deidara, and they absolutely lost it.

She threw it at them, giving Deidara the chance to escape.

He was free of the mob and broke into a mad ninja sprint for the car along with the rest of the Akatsuki.

It was like watching The Mist roll in, because whatever Kimiko had thrown at the fangirls didn't keep them distracted long, and we were barely able to get into the cars.

Kimiko and I were the last ones in, and fangirls got a hold of the door handles.

"I CAN'T… HOLD… IT…" She yelled, having a tug-of-war with a fangirl who had a good grip on her door. She had to hold the door both hands, which was probably painful.

I was having my own problems however, because another fangirl had gotten hold of my door.

"JUST DRIVE MAN, DRIVE!" Sasori yelled, helping Kimiko out by grabbing onto her waist and pulling.

"THESE DAMN STALKERS MUST WORK OUT…" I yelled, surprised by how strong the girl yanking my door open was.

I gunned it, and the fangirls flew off.

We had to go at about 100 miles per hour for the first 3 minutes or so, because those fangirls are fast, damnit!

I wasn't sure about the other suburban, but we were safe.

"… What was… that… thing… you threw at the… fangirls... back there, hm…?" Deidara asked.

Kimiko, who had been thrown into the cargo in back to watch for the fangirls and to see if perhaps the others would catch up.

"… Nothing…" She said uneasily.

"W-… What was it…?" Deidara asked, a little more frantic. He turned around this time.

"… I… I can't tell you…" She stuttered, pressing her face against the window now.

"Tell me or I will hit you." Deidara demanded.

Kimiko winced, and for a moment she seemed to remember something she wished not to, but she soon recovered.

She mumbled a response, blushing.

"What?"

She mumbled it louder, her face growing dark red.

"… What?"

"ITACHI'S UNDERWEAR!"

Itachi dove into the cargo so fast I didn't even have time to catch it happening.

"WHAT?"

"I SAID-!" Kimiko was cut off by Itachi.

"YOU FUCKING GAVE A PAIR OF MY UNDERWEAR TO FANGIRLS?"

"I DID IT TO SAVE DEIDARA!" Kimiko sobbed, probably in pain now that Itachi had dove back there. Kami knows what kind of body lock Itachi had her in, but she was crying so it must've been working.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE GIVE THEM MY UNDERWEAR?"

"YOU'RE HURTING ME, ITACHI-KUN! I DIDN'T WANT TO! I'M SORRY!" She yelled. Obviously, she was hoping to please him, as she only used honorifics when she felt she was threatened.

THUD.

"THE STALKERS BROUGHT OUT THE FUCKING FANGIRL LAUNCHER!" Itachi yelled, peering out of the window Kimiko had been posted at.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Pulling up the rear was a black convertible, screaming fangirls inside. And sitting in the middle of the car, was the launcher.

"OH CRAP NO." I said, stomping on it.

If you think we're over-reacting, then you haven't seen the fangirl launcher. It launches fangirls. Yes, fangirls.

3RD PERSON!

"…Fangirl launcher? What the fuck is a fangirl launcher?" Kimiko asked, peering out of the window cautiously.

Just then, a fangirl hit the back window, and everything kind of went in slow motion for 5 seconds.

Kimiko, who had looked at the fangirl full in the face for those slow-mo seconds, screamed and the rest is history.

"THAT is a fucking fangirl launcher." Itachi said, still partially pinning her to the cargo floor.

"Deploy the tranquilizer gun!" Sasori suggested frantically.

Pein flipped a switch on the dashboard from the driver's seat, and a tranquilizer gun fell from a hidden compartment above him.

"Alright, who has the best accuaracy?" Pein yelled, tossing it into the back.

"Itachi!" Kimiko responded automatically.

Itachi grabbed the gun from Pein and opened the moon-roof.

"Kimiko! Fire your kunai at them!" Itachi commanded.

"B-but… Konan said I'm not allowed to kill fangirls anymore!" Kimiko replied.

"Use the blunt end, dumbass!" Itachi forced before loading the tranquilizer gun.

Kimiko, not wanting to disobey someone as scary as Itachi, opened the cargo window and began firing kunai, blades facing her. Her aim, if she had any at all, was off; mostly because she could only work with her right hand and not her left.

"DRIVE FASTER, PLEASE!" She screamed over her shoulder.

Pein floored it, hoping they wouldn't run out of gas too quickly.

Itachi shot the tranquilizer darts off one by one, trying to aim for the girl controlling the launcher, while Kimiko blind-sided them with her kunai. Pein tried to get some distance between the fangirl's convertible and the suburban.

The faint thought of what had happened to the others made him want to slow down, but there was no turning back now that they were flying down the road with fangirls right behind them.

Deidara, who had frantically made a few clay birds, threw them out of the window and waited until they were mere inches from the drowsy and bruised fangirls faces.

"HA!"

Bits and pieces of convertible were flying everywhere, and unconcscious fangirls flew in all directions.

_GROUND ZERO PWNAGE!_ Screamed the author.

Kimiko fell backwards, having the typical anime relief reaction.

After Itachi had come down off the roof of the car, he dove back into the cargo and proceeded to kill her over giving the fangirls a pair of his undergarments.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM MYYYYYYYYY UNDERWEAR?" He yelled, pinning her to the cargo floor by her wrists.

"If I didn't save Deidara-kun in the first place he never would've exploded those birds in the fangirls' faces, and we wouldn't be having this conversation!" Kimiko defended, not wanting Itachi to kill her.

Itachi had to admit, that was a pretty good argument.

"But why did you have MY underwear?" He asked.

Kimiko sighed, her face turning red again.

"I… I always keep an Akatsuki man candy's underwear strapped around me just in case, okay?" She stuttered, not directly answering the question.

"But why did you use MY underwear?"

"… Because, according to my sources, the most rabid of fangirls want to grope you, so I stole a pair of your boxers before we left this morning." Kimiko explained innocently, her face now draining of color.

Itachi too paled.

"… _Grope_ me…?" He asked, a little startled by her choice of words.

"…Let's never speak of this again…" Kimiko ignored his question.

He nodded.

"THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU!" Itachi yelled over his shoulder at the other occupants of the car.

They all nodded fearfully.

"Okay."

Itachi began crawling up to his normal seat, Kimiko following suit, but she suddenly gasped.

"… What happened to… the others…?" She asked.

Everyone in the car had a total 'LE GASP!' moment.

Kimiko flung herself clumsily into Sasori's lap and dug around in her bag, which had been shoved under his feet in the commotion a few moments earlier.

She dug out her cell phone and pressed 4, then 'call'.

After 2 nervous and tense rings, someone picked up.

"… Yeah?"

"HIDAN! ARE YOU ALIVE?" Kimiko yelled through the phone.

"What the fuck are you talking about, bitch?"

"ARE… YOU… ALIVE?"

"Of course I'm alive, dumbass!"

"THANK JASHIN…"

"Why did you think I was dead? I'm fucking immortal!"

"Because, we ditched you guys at the gas station back there and the fangirls almost killed us, so we thought they got to you guys first."

"No, the largest majority went after you guys. Apparently, they like it when you run."

Kimiko sweatdropped.

"Ask him where they're at. And tell them to watch out for the fangirls." Leader-Sama said from the driver's seat.

"Oh. Where are you guys…?"

"A couple miles behind you, I would assume."

"... Tell Kakuzu to-!" Kimiko was cut off by startled screams from Hidan's end.

"… WHAT THE FLYING FU-!" Kimiko tried to scream, but Hidan cut her off.

"Sorry, zombie fangirls came out of the ditch so Kakuzu ran over them."

"Oh. They got it covered, Leader-Sama!" Kimiko called to Leader-Sama.

"… Is there an explanation for what just happened…?" Hidan asked.

Kimiko recounted the entire tale, over-exagerating most of the story and using sound effects here and there.

"… Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"… I'm gonna hang up now."

"… Okay."

"Bye."

"Yeah, byebye."

Kimiko hung up.

"WELL THAT WENT WELL…" She sighed.

"And it's not even 12:00 in the afternoon yet…" Itachi sighed.

After everyone had gotten into their seats and the adrenaline wore off, Sasori happened to look down.

"HOLY SHIT KIMIKO THERE'S BLOOD ON YOUR LEG!"

Kimiko looked down at her legs.

Sure enough, there was a wound on the side of her right calf, blood running down onto her shoe.

"OH SHIT. OH CRAP. OH FUCK. HOLY-!"

Itachi slapped her across the face.

"SNAP OUT OF IT!" He yelled, shaking her.

"OW OW OW OW OW." She said robotically with each shake.

"Just heal it, you dumbass."

It dawned on her that she could.

"… Good idea."

She pumped all her healing chakra into her right hand and held it over the open wound. After closing it up, she found that a small knife had been driven into her calf, causing the wound. She pulled it out of her leg with a sickening spurting noise, and saw that it had a note attached to it.

"HOLY SHIT THAT WAS IN MY LEG." She said, holding up the bloody knife and the note attached.

"What does the note say, un?" Deidara asked, trying not to look at the bloodied knife and keep his attention on the note.

"My blood smears things, so I don't think we'll be able to read it." Kimiko said, handing the knife the Itachi.

"We can try." Sasori said, shrugging.

Kimiko opened the note, which had been turned a shade of dark red.

"… '_Hello… we are the fangirls of Akatsuki… And our patience… is wearing thin… For every… day we are… refused satisfaction… A loved one will… be… death glomped…" _Kimiko read slowly, struggling to read the smeared lettering.

"… '_Death glomped'_...?" Tobi repeated fearfully.

"… '_We have… attached a… key… to the knife… and it opens the safe… to your suite's… safe'…_" Kimiko read, ignoring Tobi's question.

"How did they know…?" Sasori asked.

Kimiko shrugged, beginning to read again.

"… '_We will not take …no for an answer'…_" Kimiko read finally.

"It ends right there." She said, handing the blood-soaked paper to Itachi, who had extracted a key that had been tied to the knife.

"NO FUCKING WAY THAT WAS IN MY LEG TOO…" She said, her eyes widening in shock at the sight of the bloodied key.

"Will you hurry up and heal your leg; it's starting to drip on the floor."

"Oh, right."

She closed the wound, found the first-aid kit that was hidden under the seat, and wrapped it up at the request of everyone else in the car. Because honestly, who wants to see a wound like that on someone's leg?

"You're lucky it didn't damage the muscle." Itachi commented, seeing as Kimiko still had full control of her leg.

Kimiko, who was too busy taking her anemia pills, ignored him.

In the dead silence (8) of the car, something as simple as the sound of a cell phone ringing could make anyone twitch. Especially since Kimiko's phone has a history of having the spookiest ring tones, this one being the Halloween theme.

She dug into her back pocket and answered it.

"Yo."

"Where are you guys?"

"Oh hello again, Hidan my dear." Kimiko said, trying to annoy him.

"WHERE ARE YOU AT?"

"I'M CHECKING, I'M CHECK, GOD…"

Kimiko leaned over Sasori and peered out the window.

"We just passed a sign that said 'Meth will destroy you'… Now we're driving by a dead deer… Now there's a forest… HOLY CRAP THAT'S A BIG SQUIRREL… Now the squirrel is dancing… Now it's having a steroid-induced heart attack… Now it's… Wait, I can't see it anymore… Now we're passing a sign that says 'STDs can be prevented.'… Now it's snowing… Now we passed a graveyard… Now-!" Hidan cut her off.

"Okay, okay… We're passing the 'Meth will destroy you' sign… There's the deer… HOLY SHIT THAT'S A BIGASS SQUIRREL…" He commented, seeing a giant red squirrel lying dead under a tree.

"What did I tell you?"

"And there's the STD sign… There's the snow… There's the graveyard… And there's a suburban that looks like the one you guys are in-… OH HI KIMI-BITCH!" Hidan said, waving at her from his window.

"HI YOU BASTARD!" Kimiko yelled, waving back at him.

"Okay, bye."

"Yeah, peace."

She hung up and stuffed the phone into her back pocket.

After a couple awkward moments, Leader-Sama decided to ask something.

"Did you tell them about the thing that was driven into your leg…?"

Kimiko, who had nearly fallen asleep, straightened up suddenly.

"OH YEAAAAH… No." She said, yawning.

"Figure we'll just tell them when we get to the resort…" Itachi put in.

"I'm bored… Kimiko, you're a good singer. You should sing something, hm." Deidara said, giving her a 'Yes, I remembered' sort of look.

This earned him a shoe to the back of the head.

"How did you-…?" He asked, rubbing the back of his head. He was facing her at the time the shoe bashed him in the head, so he was a little confused as to how the trajectory would allow such a thing.

She gave him a 'I'm about to slap a llama' sort of look, so he tilted his head to the side.

"Pleeeeeeeeease?"

"Nope."

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE?"

"NOOPE."

"I'll give you you're MP3 back."

He pulled her beloved MP3 player out of his back pocket.

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU-?" She began. Deidara thanked god that she had her seatbelt on or else she could've easily reached forward and strangled him.

"SING… And I will give it back, hm."

"… FFFFFFFFFFFINE… But you're gonna have to let me listen to the song while I sing it or I'll lose the rhythm."

"FFFFFFFFFFFINE, hm." Deidara mimicked, handing her the earphones.

"ANY REQUESTS…?" She sighed, putting them in.

"… Nothing involving crashes on roads." Pein commented from the driver's seat.

"OF COURSE, MASTER…" Kimiko said dramatically.

No one had any requests, so Kimiko decided to pick one. She scrolled through her MP3 (Deidara holding onto it partially), when she found the perfect song.

"I GOT ONE!" She yelled, startling everyone.

She started it.

"In a way, I need a change  
From this burnout scene  
Another time, another town  
Another everything  
But it's always back to you

Stumble out, in the night  
From the pouring rain  
Made the block, sat and thought  
There's more I need  
It's always back to you

But I'm good without ya  
Yeah, I'm good without you  
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break till I shatter?  
Over the line can't define what I'm after  
I always turn the car around  
Give me a break let me make my own pattern  
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered  
I always turn the car around

I had no idea that the night  
Would take so damn long  
Took it out, on the street  
While the rain still falls  
Push me back to you

But I'm good without ya  
Yeah, I'm good without you  
Yeah, yeah, yeah

How many times can I break till I shatter?  
Over the line can't define what I'm after  
I always turn the car around  
Give me a break let me make my own pattern  
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered  
I always turn the car around

Give it up, give it up, baby  
Give it up, give it up, now  
Now

How many times can I break till I shatter?  
Over the line can't define what I'm after  
I always turn the car around  
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking  
Taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting  
Always turn the car around

How many times can I break till I shatter?  
Over the line can't define what I'm after  
I always turn the car around

Don't wanna turn that car around  
I gotta turn this thing around…"

Since no one decided to comment within the 5 second deadline, she decided to say something.

"END OF LYRICS."

That snapped them out of it.

"Leader-Sama, I will tell you right now, that you must not turn this damn car around because there are fangirls back there." She called.

He nodded.

"Such a befitting song to our current situation." Itachi commented.

"CAN I HAVE MY MP3 BACK NOW? I sang for you." She said, tugging her MP3 out of Deidara's hand.

"That wasn't half-bad, Kid." Deidara said, ruffling her short black hair.

She playfully pushed his hand away, her face gaining a distinct blush.

Since the balance of the universe was once again restored, Kimiko fell asleep in peace finally.

They made a second gas stop, and this time no one got out. Pein and Kakuzu, who had to pay for the gas, ninja-sprinted into the store, barely stopped to pay for the gas, and sprinted back out to the car in 10 seconds flat.

It was a regrettable decision.

20 minutes down the road, Pein, Tobi, Deidara, Sasori, Itachi, and almost everyone else from the other suburban had to use the bathroom.

They stopped on the side of the road near the cover of a few trees.

Kimiko, Zetsu, and Konan were the only ones who didn't have to go.

To understand what happened next, you have to understand how Kimiko was positioned in the car.

She had been leaning against Itachi, and since he had to get up to do his thing, he laid her head down where he was sitting.

Well, someone called her phone, and since she had The Halloween Theme as her ringtone, she jumped, and instinctively, she bent down trying to curl in a ball. She succeeded in banging her head against the seat in front of her.

"OW SHIT." She yelled, sitting up and rubbing her already bruised forehead. She quickly dug into her back pocket and pulled out her phone.

"Hello…?"

"Kimiko! Look, I'm sorry about what happened-!" Makoto was cut off by Kimiko hanging up.

She tried to shut off her phone, but it was hard through the tears that were now burning her eyes.

The phone rang again, so she answered, but before Makoto could even begin talking, she started in.

"I don't wanna talk to you, got that?" She yelled before hanging up and shutting her phone off.

She would've broke down right there had she not seen the currently missing passengers coming back from their bathroom break.

She quickly wiped her eyes and pretended to sleep again, trying to regulate her unsteady breathing.

Itachi and Sasori were careful not to disturb her as they got back into their seats, and Itachi had to lift her head up and let her lean against him. She had to try her absolute best not to breathe sharply, not to mention that she had to keep her eyes relaxed.

She was finally able to push down the lump in her throat and force herself to act like she was waking up. Itachi, who saw that she was a little uncomfortable, told her she could sleep in the cargo with the bags if she wanted more room, to which she quickly agreed.

After climbing into the cargo, although not a peep was heard from her, she shed a single tear before going into a drowsy and hazy state that one always finds themselves in when they try to sleep in a moving vehicle.

Pein's POV

When we finally arrived at the resort, everyone was either in their own little zone or they were passing out.

"We're here!" I called over my shoulder.

There was a distinct thump in the cargo, and Kimiko quickly, yet groggily swearing.

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" She yelled, sitting up.

She looked around, then apologetically up at the people she had startled in front.

"Oh, we're here?" She asked innocently.

I nodded.

After pulling up next to Kakuzu in the enormous parking lot, we all got out and stretched. Except Kimiko, who was trapped in the cargo.

A light dusting of snow was falling. The sun was smeared out by gray, thick clouds. It was the perfect day to just take things slowly.

I went around to the trunk, opened it, and had Kimiko pass the bags out.

"Who had the suitcase with a Hello Kitty sticker on the handle?" She asked, knocking a duffle bag over to reveal a black suitcase with the Akatsuki cloud printed on it. But upon closer examination of the handle, a Hello Kitty sticker could be seen.

No one spoke up.

She shrugged and resumed giving us our luggage.

Still, no one claimed it by the time she was done, so I presumed that we might as well leave it in the car.

I helped her out of the car, where she stretched and over-dramatically fell over on her face into the pavement, complaining of a cramp in her left calf.

After rolling my eyes and pulling her up, she grabbed her backpack and rolling suitcase and we were off into the resort.

A young woman with shoulder-length brown hair and big blue eyes stopped in time to greet us at the door. She had a clipboard with her, and when she halted in front of us, Kimiko unintentionally twitched.

"Hello. Welcome to Winding Snake Resort." She greeted warmly. We all smiled at her, and I handed her a note that had been composed after I had 'negotiated' with the manager of the resort on the phone the other day.

She quickly read it over, and it only took her a moment to realize who she was dealing with.

Swiftly, she but the note into her pocket and decided to give us a boring lecture about how she was our personal stewardess and would be happy to help us with any problems. Basically, she was implying that she was our servant.

She gave us the directions to our room, and we found that since the elevators were down, we had to use the stairs.

We had the best suite in the entire resort, and the building itself had 6 levels; which meant a lot of stairs.

I felt kind of bad for Kimiko, who would have to haul her suitcase up all those flights of stairs with a sprained ankle, wrist, and her sore calves.

When we got to the top, she was laughing that kind of laugh that you have to get out before you start crying, like when you hit your funny bone on something.

"Shut the fuck up, weirdo." Hidan snapped, slapping her with the back of his hand.

She quickly grabbed her face, and for a fleeting moment I thought she was actually going to start crying.

But, since this is Kimiko we're talking about, she roundhouse kicked him and managed to knock him down several flights of stairs.

We all sweatdropped and gave her a 'WTF' look.

She blushed innocently and simply responded,

"I felt threatened."

We all nodded and opened our suite.

Kimiko's POV

We walked into the suite, audibly gasping at it's awesomeness.

There was a modestly high ceiling, nicely sized windows, an enormous flat screen TV, and fat puffy couches. There were several doors lined up in a row on the left hand side of the room, which I presumed were the bedrooms, a little service elevator, and a lot of other things that would make a suite awesome.

I went to check out the bedrooms. I found that there were two beds in each room, and using my very poor and slow math skills, I realized that we would have to share rooms.

"Hey, uh, Leader-Sama?" I called, leaning into one of the rooms, using my good hand to hold onto the doorframe.

"Hm?"

My right hand betrayed me and I fell forwards and face-planted into the floor inside the room.

"DAMN YOU SLOW REFLEXES!" I yelled into the floor.

Leader-Sama came and poked me with his foot after I didn't move for 10 seconds.

"I did the math, and I think we'll have to share rooms." I said finally, lifting my head off the carpet.

Leader-Sama, unsure of me and my most likely undiagnosed dyscalculia, counted the rooms and the number of members.

"Alright, pick your rooms, everyone."

I scrambled to a room, threw my things onto a bed, and walked out with my head held high. Until I tripped on my own feet and went face-first into the ground.

"DAMN YOU DEPTH-PERCEPTION!" I yelled once again to my new acquaintance, the floor.  
"You can't catch yourself to save your life, can you?" Kisame asked, poking me awkwardly with his foot.

"I think it's a birth defect or something…" I commented, my voice muffled by the carpet.

He most likely shrugged and walked away.

I lied there on the floor, facedown on the carpet, for some time.

"Are you-… What are you doing…?" Konan asked, poking me with her foot in the same fashion as Kisame.

"Just chillin'…" I said mildly, shrugging.

"What's wrong with your left leg?" She asked.

I then remembered that a knife, a note, and a key were all just imbedded in there not too long ago.

Then, as if a train had hit me, I remembered.

"LEADER-SAMA!" I called, pushing myself up so that I was in a position close to that of a walrus.

"What?" He asked, peeking out of a room nearby.

I sprang up and, without a word, reached into his pocket.

He was a little off by me digging into his pocket, but I quickly pulled out the blood-stained key and looked around for the safe.

It was bound to be in the closet.

I found it right away.

"What are you-…?" Leader-Sama began. But he didn't seem capable of finishing his sentence.

I flung open the closet door and dropped down on the floor in front of the safe, where I shoved the now red key into the keyhole.

After some twisting and contorting, I managed to get the safe unlocked.

I lifted my knee up to let the safe door swing open, and I grabbed the first thing inside it.

A tape recorder.

Well that's a little cliché I thought.

None the less, I pressed play.

"_Hello. I'm glad that you found this message_."

I pressed stop while simultaneously throwing it back into the safe. I quickly slammed the door shut and leaned against it as if the recording might try to escape.

"WHAT?" Leader-Sama asked. I was now attracting a crowd of akatsuki.

"JIGSAW IS IN THE CLOSET." I said.

"What…?"

"JIGSAW. IS. IN. THE. CLOSET."

"What are you going on about?" Hidan asked, coming out of one of thebedrooms.

"JIGSAW IS IN THE CLOSET, HOW MANY TIMES DO I GOTTA SAY IT?" I half-yelled.

They gave me those increasingly familiar 'WTF' looks, so I flung the closet door back open, reached into the safe, and pulled out the recording.

I pressed the rewind button, stopped it, then played it.

"_Hello. I'm glad you found this message_."

I stopped it.

"See?"

"How did you get the safe open?" Konan asked.

"Let it play." Leader-Sama said, ignoring my and Konan's previous statements.

I pressed the play button.

"_Turn on your TV, and you shall see what is in store for you._"

The recording ended.

No one moved.

"YOU HEARD JIGSAW, TURN ON THE DAMN TV!" Hidan yelled finally.

I stumbled to the TV and turned it on.

After a few moments, the screen turned from the boring greeting you first get when you turn on a TV in a hotel to a black screen, although we could clearly tell it was on.

After an awkward moment, the screen skipped, then, sitting there, was Jigsaw. The puppet, not the guy.

"_Greetings; and welcome. I want to play a game. At this very moment, a powerful anesthetic gas is being ventilated into this room, and soon, you will be in a dead sleep. Fangirls are making their way to this building at this very moment also, and they plan on doing 'unsavory things'… unless you find a way to save yourselves from the gas. _

"_Don't try to escape. The doors and windows have been locked, and the suite is sound-proof._

"_We have hidden oxygen masks around the suite, and if you can find them and make the oxygen last long enough for the fangirls to get to the room, then you just may have a fighting chance. There's just one problem. Some of the masks are defective._

"_Now, if you don't feel like fighting off fangirls with a mask tied to your face, I have hidden a bucket of syringes. Only one contains a chemical that will save you. The rest will only speed up the process._

"_How badly do you want to live? The choice is yours..._"

The TV turned back to the boring hotel greeting.

"HOLY SHIT WE'RE GONNA DIE." Hidan said finally.

That sent us all into a panic.

After 5 minutes of running around, crashing into things, and screaming, Leader-Sama finally took charge.

"IF YOU ALL DON'T CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW I WILL USE RINNEGAN."

We all stopped mid-scream.

"All we have to do is find the oxygen masks or the bucket of syringes, and we'll be okay."

That set us on the race against time.

3RD PERSON!

The Akatsuki got right to work on finding the oxygen masks and syringe bucket.

Kimiko, who had been trying to hide in the cabinet under the bathroom sink, found the bucket of syringes.

"Hey, guys…" She called, lifting the bucket out of the cabinet.

"I found the syringes!"

Everyone crowded around the bucket.

"Should we…?" Itachi asked.

"I'll do it." Kimiko volunteered.

"No." Pein said, pulling her away from the bucket. He realized that he needed a back-up statement, or else he would have to admit to himself something. That he didn't want her to do something like that.

"We need you to be awake when the fangirls get here. You know how to hold your own when it comes to fangirls."

"Just a few injections! Then I'll stop if I start getting tired! Plus, they're after the guys. I'm not one of the main Akatsuki characters, so they wouldn't necessarily go after me anyways. I should do it."

"What if you find the one that keeps you awake?"

"Then… I'll be awake." She said optimistically, shrugging.

"But those things have to hurt…" Hidan said, reaching into the bucket and examining a needle.

"Well, I'll find a mask first, if that'll make you guys feel any better." She said, getting up and going to look.

They all eventually found the oxygen masks, but in all honesty, they weren't sure of who had the defective masks. It worried them, because, well… Who wouldn't be scared?

Kimiko brought the bucket of syringes to her room, and she seriously began to question why she was doing this.

Hidan, who had decided to sit on the bed in the same room, watched her stare down blankly at the bucket.

"I could help you."

"NO."

He was startled by her sudden and emotional response.

"I mean, no, I can do it."

She reached into the bucket, pulled one out, and gently stuck the needle into a vain on her left arm, above her cast; just barely.

FUCK THIS STUFF IS COLD, she mentally yelled.

Hidan winced.

Kimiko, sensing his discomfort, looked up at him and gave him a teasing smile.

"Afraid of a few needles, are we?" She taunted, trying to get him to smile with her.

"N-no…" He said slowly.

She gently squeezed, letting her bloodstream take in the chemical.

"So… " She began, smirking at Hidan. She tried to make herself think that she was doing it to keep Hidan from freaking out, but in truth, it was so she would get to hear a voice. It was a comfort, and she needed it.

"Favorite song by Three Days Grace?" He asked.

She was glad he was one to make the conversation more interesting.

"Oh, I LOVE that band. Uh… Hell, I can't pick! All their songs describe me so well…"

"Really? I hate to admit it, but that's what I was gonna say…"

"You weirdo-… For real?"

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence went by as Kimiko stuck herself with another needle, this time on a different spot.

"… What other bands do you like…?" Hidan asked, not wanting to look.

"Linkin Park… The Fray is pretty good… Oh, and Lady Antebellum."

"… Me too, believe it or not."

"No way. Lady Antebellum…?"

"After I saw the video for their song 'Hello World' I thought they were pretty fucking awesome."

Kimiko laughed.

"… That song, 'I Don't Care' is my favorite at the moment…" Kimiko blurted, seeing as another silence engulfed them as she tossed 3 empty syringes to the far side of the room.

"The one by Apocalyptica featuring Adam Gontier? Why?" Hidan asked, not knowing what else to say.

"You're gonna think I'm crazy but… It kind of makes me think, 'Don't forget to remember'." She explained weakly, pausing before shoving a 4th needle under her skin.

"… '_Don't forget to remember_' what?"

"… What happened before I met you guys… My parents." Kimiko said quietly, immediately wishing she would've worded that differently.

"Why would it remind you of your… parents?"

"It describes us, I guess."

"Wait, does it describe them to you or you to them?"

"Both."

"… Oh really…? Why?"

"… I don't like talking about it."

"… Are they… Still…?" (10)

"Tch, sadly."

Hidan gave her a 'WTF' look.

She didn't feel like explaining any further, but she soon found herself flipping her right forearm over, letting Hidan get a close look at it, something she never let anyone else do.

"They weren't… Good to me." She said, as though explaining death to a small child.

He nodded.

"So they… Hit you a lot?"

"Well… Up until I got into the ninja academy and they saw that I _might_ be of some use in the long run they would go out of their way to try to…" She stopped, swallowing painfully.

She then lifted her head up to reveal a barely visible scar on her neck, almost healed. She let the scar do the talking.

He managed to get a good view of the scar before she once again hung her head and injected herself another time. From the syringes now carelessly flung to the floor, it was her 5th injection.

"… Did you… ever fight back…?" He asked finally.

"No. Not that I remember."

"Why…?"

"Because that only made things worse."

"… How long did you… live with them…?"

"… I _lived_ with them until about half a year ago, when I met you guys. They never really… raised me, I guess you could say. I only stayed in the house when I was sick, or when it got really cold at night." She said, smiling a little oddly.

"No one ever… knew…?" He asked slowly.

"No… In case you… haven't figured it out already… That kind of treatment… towards kids… was frowned upon… At least, that's what… my Sensei used to say… When I would ask him…" She said a little drowsily.

"Well… That probably had to be hell…" He commented.

"It still is." She said with a sad laugh.

Hidan gave her a look, asking for an explanation with his pinkish purple eyes.

"Nightmares, memories, lifestyle… I can't really… say it never leaves my mind… but I can't say… it leaves my mind… for too long either…"

"Oh."

Kimiko suddenly had a jolt of drowsiness so strong she had to lean against the wall at the head of the bed to keep from tipping over.

They sat in a drowsy silence for several minutes.

"Hey… Hidan…?"

"Hm?"

"… You… Don't hate me… Right…?"

"... Why would I hate you?"

She shrugged.

"Just making sure… I have a history of people… I thought I could trust… hating me…"

"I don't… hate you."

"… Arigato…" She whispered.

Everyone else had either passed out or was barely breathing, trying to conserve the oxygen they still had.

Itachi, Pein, Sasori, Kakuzu, and Kisame were the only ones whose masks weren't defective, and they were able to keep it rationed until the fangirls got there.

Kimiko heard the thump of fangirls at the front door, then her eyes closed, a needle resting on her skin, not yet shoved in.

The fangirl battle itself was pretty epic.

There were only 8 fangirls in total that came in, but they were Anbu ranked in the ninja way, so it was a little heated for a while.

Although, the largest consistency of the fighting was those girly slapping cat fights that one would often get into with a sibling.

There was also a lot of glomping.

Eventually, all the Akatsuki, along with 6 fangirls, were on the floor, fast asleep.

The two left, who were HUGE Hidan, Tobi, and Deidara fans in particular, decided to get in some fangirl stimulus before they would take their leave.

The two fangirls dragged Tobi and Deidara into the room containing Hidan and Kimiko.

It looked like game over for the Akatsuki, and Fangirl #1 pulled out a small gray box with several buttons on it.

She pressed the one closest to the bottom of the box.

"_GAME OVER…_" Said Jigsaw.

The fangirls were just about to begin their fangirl rituals when there was the sound of something being flung across the room.

Fangirl #2 was hit in the face with an empty syringe.

"NO IT'S NOT!" Kimiko yelled, doing a flip out of the bed she had been lying in, landing a kick to the head of Fangirl #1.

"WHAT THE-?" Fangirl #2 yelled, whipping out a kunai.

Well, I never said Kimiko was asleep, did I?

Kimiko had a fighting strategy planned out.

She would let the fangirls come close to her by acting like she was getting tired, and when they got close, she would stab a syringe into their skin and squirt.

But the air in the room was still heavy with anesthetic, and the chemical that had kept Kimiko awake was failing her with every move she made.

Finally, Fangirl #2 gave out, having been injected several times already.

Fangirl #1 was giving out as well.

"I'm… Not… gonna letting you… get them…" Kimiko said, panting on the ground, a syringe clenched weakly in her fist.

One more dose should do it, Kimiko thought hazily.

The Fangirl got smart however. She wasn't prepared to get too close to Kimiko.

"Let me take them, and I'll take you away from these guys. They can't give you what you want." She offered, panting.

Kimiko looked up at her. The expression on her face said that she was hesitant.

The fangirl smiled.

Kimiko's expression changed.

"Shake on it."

She held out her right hand.

The fangirl stumbled up to her.

She was just about to grab Kimiko's hand when…

"PSYCH!"

Kimiko jabbed the fangirl with the needle and injected her with the signature spurting noise.

They both collapsed on the floor, Kimiko gripping the syringe that was now driven into the fangirl's back.

"Look… I have nothing against you guys… But when you think… that you can… take them away…" Kimiko whispered, 'them' meaning the Akatsuki. "… is where I take it personally…" She whispered, giving the fangirl a gentle smile with a deadly edge.

The fangirl passed out, the words echoing in her head.

Kimiko passed out, her hand around the syringe, finally able to get some sleep.

"FINALLY…" Kimiko breathed rather unconsciously, dead asleep before she hit the floor.

A SHORT WHILE LATER…

Pein, his mind processing the events that were happening as he passed out got the best of him, and he thought that if he moved, he would be groped.

But, as he opened an eye, he realized he was still on the suite.

The air was easier to breathe.

He sat up, looking around.

6 fangirls laid in a dead sleep on the floor near him.

He cringed.

"Itachi, Sasori… Wake up…" he said, shaking them both once he realized how close they were to him.

The two both bolted upwards, simultaneously screaming,

"DON'T GROPE ME!"

They looked around.

"Are we dead…?"

"No. Something good must've happened, because we're okay!" Pein said, standing up and stretching.

They quickly woke up Konan and Zetsu, but Deidara and Tobi were no where to be found, so they decided to check the room Hidan and Kimiko were in.

"LE GASP!" they all chimed.

There lied the two more dangerous fangirls, snoring loudly on the floor. Hidan, Deidara, and Tobi were piled on the floor next to them.

Kimiko was curled up on the floor next to the fangirl snoring the loudest, her splinted hand around a syringe sticking out of the fangirl's back.

Kakuzu kicked Hidan in his manhood, waking him up.

"WHAT THE FUCK KAKUZU?" Hidan yelled in a high-pitched voice.

Deidara and Tobi were both woken up by the noise.

Kimiko was startled by the sound of Hidan mumbling curses, to which he said a sentence remarkably close to 'I hate puppies'.

When Kimiko hears 'hate' and 'puppies', or even something that sounds like it, she goes wild.

"WHO SAID THEY HATED PUPPIES?" She yelled, throwing the blunt end of a kunai in the direction of the noise, hitting Hidan right in the eye.

"OW FUUUUUUUUCK!" He cried, grabbing his eye and rolling around dramatically on the floor.

She jumped when she saw the fangirl lying on the floor, the empty injections lying everywhere, and a random tape recorder that had been stuffed into her pocket.

She pulled it out and pressed play.

"_Congratulations. You've won the game._" Said Jigsaw.

"How'd that get in my pocket…?" She thought aloud.

What… happened…?" Pein asked, startling Kimiko enough to make her instinctively fling something at him, which was the tape recorder.

"OH LEADER-SAMA! OH, CRAP. OH, OH SHIT I'M SORRY!" She stuttered.

"What the-…?"

She stood up and stretched.

"Oh, oh… Hangover… OH GOD." She shouted the last part as she tipped over and face-planted at Pein's feet.

Pein picked her up and hung onto her until she was able to gain her balance.

She then turned around, and upon seeing the fangirl on the floor that had the syringe sticking out of her back, gasped.

"I… did that…" She said, rubbing the back of her head and pointing at the fangirl.

"… HOW…?" Everyone yelled in unison.

Kimiko recounted the tale, unconsciously telling the last few words she said before she had passed out as she picked up the empty injections lying about the floor.

"Can we get rid of the bodies…? They're creeping me out…" Sasori asked after Kimiko had left to throw away the injections.

"Sure…" Pein agreed.

After injecting the last of the sleeping chemicals into the fangirls and disposing of the bodies via leaving them in the elevator, they went back to their room to relax.

"That was… terrifying…" Kimiko commented, lying on the floor under the flat screen.

"Amen…" Everyone else agreed in unison.

"On the other hand… I WON!" she yelled, getting up and doing a victory dance.

Everyone put up with her dancing for a few seconds, and before long she fell over and crawled back to her place under the TV.

She heard her cell phone ring from the bedroom she would be sleeping in, so she got up and stumbled towards the direction in which the sound was coming from.

THUMP

"DAMN SLOW REACTION TIME…" She mumbled, rubbing her forehead and running into the room to get her phone.

"We _really_ need to get her motor skills checked…" Sasori said, shaking his head.

Kimiko, meanwhile, had picked up her phone.

"Hello?"

"Uh, hey sis."

'Kazuki', she breathed.

"Uhm… Hi, Bro. How's Rini doing…?"

"Happy birthday." Kazuki said, ignoring her question, rudely if I may add.

Kimiko gasped. She remembered it was her birthday that particular day.

"I… uh… Totally forgot…" She said, her voice either shaky with unexpressed laughter or sadness.

"I'm sorry… I'm really, really, seriously sorry…"

" Don't…" Kimiko began, not able to finish.

"I feel really bad, Kimiko."

"I… I can understand that… In fact, I really hate you right now."

"That's why I wanted to apologize. I… I don't like… being hated by you…"

"I don't like feeling this way either, but… You left me there to… die, basically."

"I thought you died for a while there… You have no idea how relieved I felt when I ran into you…"

"I thought YOU died. I really hate admitting it, but… I was worried about you… It's… complicated…"

"That's… why I wanted to apologize. It would… really help both of us…"

"I… I don't wanna… Look, I know you wanna apologize, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna hate you any less."

"I just wanted to apologize. When you're ready, we can dig a little deeper."

"'_A little deeper'_? I freaking had to deal with Mom and Dad after you left! They took it out on me! I had to leave so they wouldn't try to finish what they started!"

"… I… I know you had to deal with them after I left but… I don't like you hating me. I'm incredibly and honestly sorry. I know you could've had a little better of a life if I stayed and helped, but… "

"You ran away. You ran away from the problems you thought you couldn't fix."

"So did you!"

"You ran away because you hated our life. I ran away because I had nothing left to live. I was on the verge of killing myself out there!

" It's not a good feeling knowing that you don't have a place to live, a place to call home… A place to belong. I'm not even sure a place like that exists for someone as messed up as me!"

"You seem to be forgetting I had to watch you go through so much torture for all those years!"

"Yeah, and all you _did_ was watch! You never really made them stop! You only watched and tried to distract them! I never saw _you _throwing yourself in front of me when they started in! But here I was, defending you when you left!"

"Watching it was worse than it happening to me!"

"I FREAKING HATE YOU."

With that, Kimiko hung up, pressed her face as far into the pillows as she could, and screamed.

She came back out not 2 minutes later,

"I guess it's my birthday today." She said, rubbing the back of her neck and blushing.

"It is…?" Everyone chimed, turning to look at her.

"Yeah, actually." She laughed. If she was really still mad or feeling bad about what happened just not a few moments ago, she was certainly doing a good job of hiding it.

"Oh, Happy Birthday then, Kid." Itachi said first, a smile crossing his face.

"Yeah, happy birthday."

She blushed a shade darker before deciding to trip on someone's shoe and face-planting on the carpet.

"DAMN YOU SLOW REACTION TIME!"

"How are old are you now…?" Hidan asked.

"… Think hard, Hidan. Think REALLY hard. What's 11… plus 1…?"

"… 12…?"

She shifted her head to look at him, giving him a 'Yes, Hidan; Yes' Kind of look.

"I want ice…" blurted Konan after Kimiko had been given the proper Happy Birthday wishes.

No one felt like getting up, and Kimiko was the only one who could really use some practice with navigating, so they sent her out to do it.

Kimiko's POV

I didn't really want to go, but I needed to get the hang of navigating again (since the grogginess in my veins hadn't quite worn off and I was still stumbling around), and I'd been meaning to explore the resort a bit anyway.

I took the ice bucket, left the room, and began walking.

The room was on the outer side, so when you walked out, there were windows all lined up from the floor to the ceiling, letting you walk out of your room and view the outside world. It also meant they could see you, but that didn't seem to bug me.

There was a nice, clear view that overlooked the parking lot, the town nearby, and the sky.

"I want a house like this…" I muttered under my breath, walking slowly to appreciate the beauty of it.

The carpet under my bare feet was nice and soft, and for a moment I reached down and ran a hand across it.

The walls were painted a plain, yet sun-stained white, and the carpet rolling down both ends of the halls were a pleasant shade of blue.

Crossed with the blue sky, it was the perfect blue tunnel.

I trodded slowly down the hall, looking around and taking in the view.

Looking around, I saw that no one was near, so I hummed a little.

Still, no one appeared.

"Now would be a good time for a little song…" I said, brushing the bangs out of my face and putting the ice bucket on my head, keeping a hand on it, should anyone see me and I'd have to take it off quickly.

A song that had gotten stuck in my head since that morning popped into my head, and I decided to sing it a little.

"_Beauty queen of only eighteen_

_She had some trouble with herself_

_He was always there to help her, _

_She always belonged to someone else…_

_I drove for miles and miles and wound up,_

_At your door…_"

I didn't know the next part, so I hummed it. The chorus, however, was easy to remember.

"_I don't mind spending every day,_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain…_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile…_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile…_

_And she will, be loved…_

_She will, be loved…_"

I then forgot the next few lines, so I hummed again.

This is a good song, I thought to myself.

I realized that I was now going down the stairs to the lobby. But since I had a feeling that I could have better luck finding an ice machine in a wide open space like the lobby, I didn't turn around.

Of course, going down all those stairs explained why it hurt to walk.

"_It's not always rainbows and butterflies,_

_It's compromise that moves us along,_

_Yeah…"_

Again, I forgot the next line, so I hummed again.

"_I don't mind spending every day…_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain…_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile…_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile…_

_And she will, be loved…_

_She will be loved…_

_And she will be loved…._

_She will be loved…_"

I heard someone coming up the stairs, so I was reduced to singing the next few lines under my breath.

"_I know where you hide, _

_Alone in your car…_

_Know all of the things that make you who you are…_

_I know goodbye means nothing at all,_

_Comes back and begs me ,_

_Catch her every time she falls…_

_Yeah…_" By that time, the person had either decided to ninja it the rest of the way up the stairs, or he decided to stalk me because he disappeared.

I hummed the next line, then the chorus started in.

"_I don't mind spending every day…_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain…_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile…_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile…_

_And she will, be loved…_

_She will, be loved…_

_And she will be loved…_

_She will, be loved… _"

The rest of the song was hard to sing, so I hummed it.

By the time I had finished my song, I had reached the lobby.

I walked up to the front desk, where I saw the girl that had helped us before.

Her name, as I had barely bothered to learn, was Yumi.

"Oh, hello." She greeted, laughing warmly. Another maid nearby giggled with her.

" Is there anything I can help you with?" She asked.

I took the ice bucket off my head.

"We need ice." I said, putting the bucket on the counter.

"Oh, of course. Why didn't you just call us?"

I mentally face-palmed. We could've gotten out of the room a lot quicker had we known we could've just called down.

Although, I quickly came up with a lie to keep from talking too much.

"My friends thought it would be nice for me to explore the resort a little."

She nodded knowingly before excusing herself and taking the bucket into a room behind the desk.

"So, what happened to your ankle? I saw a splint on it." The other maid Yumi had been talking to asked. She had rather exaggerated golden eyes and light green hair.

"I kicked in a door and slipped on a patch of ice after I kicked it in." I lied again, looking around uninterestedly.

She gasped.

"Why?"

"We ate at McDonalds, then we came home and realized we left our house key inside and the doors were locked, so while everyone else was trying to find a way to get in, I saw a spider frozen to the door, so I took a running start, kicked the spider, and the door just flung open. Then I slipped on the ice right in front of the door after I landed, so…" I lied, finishing by scratching the back of my head using my splinted hand with a cheesy blush on my face.

The maid laughed.

"You really are too adorable."

Yumi, who had been standing there the entire time, listening, laughed too.

"Now what happened to your wrist?" Yumi asked, seeing my splinted left wrist as well.

"I was training with my friend and I slipped on a patch of ice again." I again lied, taking the ice-filled bucket Yumi had placed in front of me.

"So you're a ninja?"

"Yeah."

"You should still be in the academy, shouldn't you? How old are you?"

"Well, today's my 12th birthday, but I've been a chuunin for about a year and a half, I guess."

"Today's your birthday?" They both chimed.

I nodded.

"Happy birthday, then." They said warmly.

I received an ice cream cake from the kitchen, and I was on my way again, my cute little cake and ice bucket.

To be honest, I was feeling a little low on sugar, so I started eating the cake before I even got to the stairs.

Oh c'mon, like you've never done that before?

"I see you're enjoying your birthday…" Kumomaru murmured, walking next to me suddenly.

I nearly dropped the stuff I was holding.

I forgot I was wearing his locket, I thought, mentally falling over.

"Get back in the locket before someone sees you, Kumo!" I whispered harshly.

"C'mon, I've been in that thing all day…" he whined.

"Fine… But only until we get to the suite."

He took the bucket of ice and began poking around at the ice inside it as if he'd never seen anything like it.

That same dude, the one who stalked me after I walked passed him, was standing a few more flights up, texting on his phone.

He was about 16 years of age, with strawberry blond Justin Bieber style hair, strangely calm blue eyes and a pleasantly welcoming smirk tugging at the corners of is mouth.

Now that I got a better look at him, I saw that he wasn't alone.

There was another boy, perhaps 13 or 14 years of age, with slightly darker hair and dark, uninviting blue eyes.

I first had to assume they were both just standing there at the same time, but upon closer inspection, they had similar faces and I realized that they were related.

Kumomaru, for some odd reason, slipped in between me and the two boys standing there, giving them a sideways glance before grabbing onto my wrist and pulling me past them, muttering a 'C'mon' to me.

I managed to glance back and smile at them, tossing my bangs off to the side using my splinted hand.

Kumomaru, sensing my actions, turned back and pulled me along faster.

I could faintly hear what the dudes were saying, and that's how I figured out how the two were brothers, but nothing popped out at me.

"Do you think that's his girl, bro?"

"If she is, then he's one lucky guy…"

Two kunai, blunt ends first, hit them full in their faces.

"You sneaky little bastard." I said half annoyed and half amused, giving Kumomaru a small shove as he let go of my wrist after we had gotten up a flight or two of stairs, leaving the two boys standing in a bewildered state behind us.

"They were bugging me."

"Shut up."

We got to the top of the stairs and he disappeared into the confinements of the locket. I picked up the ice bucket, ninja kicked the door open, and walked in, fork in my mouth and a pleased expression on my face.

"ICE!" I yelled, placing the bucket on one of the tables in the eating area of the suite.

"Where'd you get the cake…?"

"Yumi and some other maid managed to get me to confess today was the day I cursed the world with my presence, so they stole it from the kitchen." I replied, munching on a chunk that I had stabbed with my fork.

"Yummy." Konan said, plopping down across from me.

"Is it that time of the month _already_, Ko-san?" I asked, smiling.

She almost choked on a mouthful of ice cream cake.

"Shut up!" She spluttered, blushing.

Hidan, Kisame, Deidara, Itachi, and Leader-Sama suddenly walked in, which was the worst possible time because Konan decided to ask me the dreaded question.

"So, have _you_ started yet?"

I fell back in my chair, turning a dark shade of red.

"SHUT UP; NO WAY! AND EVEN IF BY SOME OFF CHANCE I _DID_ HAVE '_IT'_," I squealed, using quotation marks with my fingers, "I WOULDN'T BROADCAST IT IN FRONT OF THESE GUYS…"

"Do you even know the signs?" Konan asked.

I then made a couple confused anime sounds that not even written word could express.

"N-no! I-! I mean… I know! Wait, no-… OF COURSE I DO!" I was finally able to stutter out, feeling a twinge of fear.

"Then I assume that you've had '_The Talk_', then?"

More anime spluttering noises.

"OF COURSE I HAVE! THEY GIVE A REALLY LONG, SCIENTIFIC LECTURE ABOUT IT IN THE ACADEMY!" I squeaked, trying to burry my face in my hands to hide the absolutely absurd shade of red I was blushing.

"And do we _HAVE_ to talk about it in front of the boys?" I hissed, panicking.

Konan smiled perfidiously.

Note to self; DON'T TRUST KONAN WHEN IT COMES TO THIS STUFF, I thought.

The males, who had just walked into the scene, all shared the increasingly banal 'WTF' look.

"I BROUGHT CAKE!" I yelled squeakily, sweatdropping.

They shrugged and helped eat it.

Later on that day, I got bored, so I decided to take a little evening stroll to the roof.

Leader-Sama was nowhere to be found, so I figured it was okay to sneak out. Besides, I was still a little pissed at him about trying to replace me.

As I started up the stairs, I found the two same guys from earlier hanging around on the stairs.

They kind of followed me up to the second to last flight, but when I started humming 'Life is Like a Boat' they must've gotten shy because they disappeared.

When I got to the roof, the few of the now setting-sun was perfect.

But what kind of made my heart sink was the fact that Leader-Sama was up there, watching the setting sun.

Pein's POV

"Leader-Sama…?"

I turned around and was surprised to find Kimiko standing there.

"Oh, hello Kimiko."

I tried to read her expression, but it was like translating Hidan's handwriting; impossible.

"Do you want to join me?" I asked.

She nodded a little hesitantly and sat down.

"This would make a perfect picture." She commented.

"It would, wouldn't it? Maybe you should draw it."

Her black hair gently tossed itself around in the breeze, and her dreamy green eyes stared droopily at the gorgeous scene with mild admiration. I could never quite get used to that pretty face of hers.

"Hey Leader-Sama…?"

"Hm?"

"Do you… Want to get rid of me?"

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Tobi told me you wanted to replace me."

"And you believed him?"

"… Yeah…"

"We've been over this. No one can replace a kid like you. Why do you think we named you Kimiko?"

"… So… You don't want to get rid of me…?"

"Of course not!"

"… Are you sure…? I'd get rid of me the first chance I got…"

"I'm not getting rid of you. Besides, you just don't seem to understand how special you actually are."

She blushed.

The sun was now gone, sunken just below the land in the distance.

A red, orange, purple, pink, and several other indescribable colors were artfully smeared across the land where the sun once was a seemingly-fervent few moments ago, clouds now dyed dark violet and a heavy gray hanging frivolously in the air.

I suddenly realized how cold it was; at least 4 degrees above zero.

"Aren't you cold?"

"Hn?"

"Aren't you cold?"

"Not really. Not anymore."

We got up off the roof and went back to the suite.

"I'm glad I know you, Leader-Sama."

"I'm glad to know you too, Kid."

Kimiko's POV

I went to bed with a clear mind, and since I was feeling bored, I decided to write a list of all my dislikes so that afterwards, I could see exactly why I hate the world.

Here is what I wrote.

Dislikes: All spiders, deep or cold water, fish with sharp teeth, Hanako, snakes, the dark, being _alone_ in the dark, Bloody Mary, old people, any child between birth and 9 years of age, cramps, barbwire fences, drowning, large amounts of fire, frogs, getting hit or slapped in a violent or abusive manner, getting yelled at, pessimists, optimists, drunk people, dead people, intense or excessive fighting, cucumbers, broken glass, trumpets, heavy metal music, oldies music, heights, clowns, spooky dolls, deep holes in the ground, falling off high places, Goths, funerals, graveyards, over-emotional people, the passage of time itself, celery, onions, fat people, lard, uneven stairs, being stared at, stalkers, pedophiles, mustard, mayo, people who enjoy complaining, tomatoes, barbeque sauce, and songs where people die at the end.

I looked it over and realized something.

The new episode of 'The Haunted' was about to come on.

I marched into the TV area of the suite, swiped the remote right out of Hidan's hand, and changed the channel.

I plopped down in front of the TV, and waited for it to start.

"What the fu-!" Hidan started.

I held up a hand.

"SHHH! IT'S STARTING!"

The intro began.

Everyone waited until the commercial came on.

"Okay, what now?" I asked, turning around.

"Since when did you get so fucking rude?"

I tilted my head to the side.

"Even _you_ know that's a dumb question, Hidan."

"…"

We watched The Haunted for the rest of the hour, then when it was over, I got up and was about to go to bed when my list of dislikes jumped out of my pocket.

"What's that?"

"Nothing." I said quickly, snatching it off the floor.

"What is it?"

"NOTHING, GOD."

"Don't tell me I'm losing you."

"Saying 'Jashin' all the time gets BORING."

"HOW COULD YOU EVEN FUCKING SAY THAT?"

I chucked a pencil at his face.

"If you REALLY want to know, it's just a list of everything I don't like."

"Well that's thing's gotta be at least a mile long or else you'd be lying."

"I'm not _THAT_ Goth." (11)

"Well, can I read it?"

"No."

"C'MON…"

"No. It wouldn't be fair, would it?"

"Since when are you concerned about that?"

"Since you saved me from the closet the other day, I'll let you read it." I finished, handing the paper to Sasori.

He read it over.

"I figured you'd have closets on here also."

"Quite the opposite, actually. I've always felt safe in closets."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"Even after all the stuff that's happened to you in the past few months involving closets?"

"Uh-huh. I just don't enjoy talking about it because then it sounds weird when I try to say something about me coming out of one."

Example?"

"C'mon then." I said, grabbing his hand and leading him to the nearby closet.

I let go of his hand, walked in, and shut the door behind me.

"Okay, so let's say that you asked me why I was in the closet." I said loudly.

"Mmhmm…" He responded.

"And here's where it would get complicated."

"How, exactly?"

"Let's say I decide to come out of the closet." I said, my voice strained under unreleased laughter.

It took him a second to get it.

"I DON'T SWING THAT WAY, BAKA." I yelled, laughing.

After that, he wouldn't look directly at me for the next few hours.

3RD PERSON!

The next morning, the Akatsuki awoke called for room service.

For breakfast, of course; Rice, soba, eel, ramen, and waffles at the request of the starved Akatsuki members.

"I had a really weird dream last night." Sasori said, taking a bite of rice.

"What was it about, hm?" Deidara asked, who had been sitting on the floor, sculpting a clay bird and occasionally taking a bite of his food.

"Well… It's been almost the exact same thing off and on for a few days now…"

"Well, what's this 'reoccurring vision' of yours, hm?"

"It starts out with me watching lighting strike off in the distance, then suddenly there's a giant grab, then the crab starts chasing me down a beach that appears out of nowhere."

Kimiko, who had up until then been dead silent, looked at him.

"You wanna find out what it means?"

"Yeah."

"B. R. B." She said, getting up and going into her and Tobi's room. Yes, she had to share a room with Tobi.

2 minutes later, Sasori's cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi there, person."

"Kimiko? Why are you calling me if I'm in the next room?"

"I felt like calling you."

"You little freak."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a complme-!"He was cut off by Kimiko cussing.

"Oops. That's not it. Wait… Wait, what's this… OHMYJASHIN IT'S A GOLF-ALL SIZED SPIDER. OH MY GOD. OH MY-… Wait, it's just a ball of lint. Okay, here we go. What was your dream about again?"

"I'm watching lightning, then I'm on a beach getting chased by a crab."

He heard the sounds of Kimiko thumbing through a book.

"What's that?"

"I have a dream book."

"Why'd you bring that?"

"You never know what kind of spiritual visions you could have on a trip like this. It never hurts to be prepared. NOW SHH. I'm looking…"

She skimmed for several more moments, then mumbled a few words of the paragraph she was reading under her breath.

"Hm… It says lightning could represent that you suddenly realized something shocking."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Now SHH as I look for crabs…"

More flitting of pages.

She then mumbled a few words of the new paragraph under her breath. She gasped.

"Dude…" She started, making sure he was paying attention.

"Hn?"

"Dude, you're gay."

Sasori, and everyone else who had bothered to easedrop on the conversation either spit out what they had in their mouths or began laughing.

"… EH?"

"It says that crabs represent sexuality. And you were running away from your sexuality. And you saw the lightning-… You just realized that you were running away from the fact that you were gay!"

Sasori facepalmed.

"I'm hanging up now."

"Okiedokie."

"Gayman…" She mumbled the last part, hanging up.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" He yelled, jumping up and running to the room where the call had come from.

"I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!" She called, throwing her hands up in the air to show her innocence.

"You called me Gayman, didn't you?"

"No."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"Liars go to hell."

"Well I might as well just say it now. Hidan mind-raped Kakuzu."

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU LITTLE-!" Hidan started, running in to help Sasori.

"SASORI TOLD ME THAT LIARS GO TO HELL!"

"YOU'RE GONNA FIND OUT IN A SECOND, YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

"OWIEOWIEOWIE LEADER-SAMA! LEADER-SAMA! THERE ARE TWO PEDOBEARS ATTACKING ME!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

"I LOVE YOU HIDAN! I LOVE YOU TOO SASORI! OW OW OW THAT'S NOT-! OWIE OW OW OW OWIES-…"

There was the sound of a thud, and everything fell silent.

The bedroom door was shut, and there was the click of a lock.

"I tend to get very angry when you touch the MP3. When my MP3 is knocked over, when it is abused in any way, I will end you."

Hidan and Sasori came out several minutes later.

"SHE. MOLESTED. OUR. BRAINS."

Kimiko slid past them and sat down in front of the TV, smirking.

"I hurt because I care, my dears." She said, flopping down on the floor and looking up at them.

Later on that day, the Akatsuki decided to explore the resort.

Kimiko's POV

I ninja-rolled down the stairs, humming the Mission Impossible theme under my breath.

"You don't have to be so damn dramatic, you little weirdo." Itachi complained from behind me.

"Fine." I said, standing and reluctantly walking like a normal temporarily-crippled child would.

"What do you suppose cats think about when they aren't sleeping or cleaning themselves? I mean… They're always staring off into space and they don't look _all there_…" I inquired as we tackled another flight of stairs.

"Why don't you ask one of your cats? You're always talking to them." He said. I got the feeling he was just humoring me.

"I tried. They won't give me any straight answers."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Well… I suppose they think about world domination."

"So we all basically have the minds of cats…?" I asked.

"… Yes. Kimiko. Yes. We have the minds of cats." He said, his normally dreary tone dripping with sarcasm.

I thought about it for a moment, however.

"I guess you're right…" I said thoughtfully.

We crept around the resort, discovering an arcade, a pool, a spa, and a couple other random things that a resort normally would have.

Itachi had spotted a place that sold dango, so… You can probably guess where he was going to spend his next few minutes.

I was just about to sneak into the arcade when my phone began ringing.

I guess the world just wasn't prepared to hear the Halloween theme, because I got a few stares trying to get my phone to shut up.

I finally figured out that all I had to do was answer it.

"Hello?"

"We're going to the mall down the road for lunch. Come back to the suite." Kakuzu said.

"Alrighty then…" I sighed.

"Are you alone?"

"You pedobear."

"ANSWER THE QUESTION."

"Yes, Kakuzu. I'm totally and utterly alone… I'm only standing in the middle of a populated resort lobby." I said sarcastically.

"Will you quit it with the sarcasm?" He said warily.

"Oh whatever. Like you haven't tortured Hidan at 3 in the morning with your sarcastic teasing…"

"That would be _you_, Kimiko."

Sweatdrop.

"Well whatever. I'm coming."

"Alright, bye."

"Yeah, bye-bye."

I hung up and stuffed my phone into my pocket.

When I finally made it to the suite, everyone was a little pissed off at my lateness.

Itachi coincidently arrived 5 and a half minutes later than me, and they weren't the slightest bit mad at him.

"Oh what? WHAT? You guys are mad at the crippled 12 year old and yet you don't even care whether or not Itachi comes 5 minutes later than me?"

"Exactly." Leader-Sama said coolly.

"I will eat you…"

"Tch, you can't even finish the 10 piece chicken nuggets at McDonalds…"

I tried to come up with a snide comeback, but nothing came to mind.

"So… How do you plan on sneaking out of the resort without getting stalked by that Yumi chick?" I asked.

"… Yumi?"

"Our slave."

"Oh. Yeah, I figured we could just jump off the roof."

"I'm low on chakra, so I don't know…" Konan mumbled under her breath.

"Besides, we'd need someone to test it out first." Hidan said.

I had managed to dig into my backpack and pull out a juice box, and I sensed them staring at me.

"Oh no. NO WAY. NOOO WAY!" I squealed, nearly choking on my juice.

…

Leader-Sama can be quite persuasive when it comes to this kind of stuff.

I looked over the edge of the building, lying flat on my stomach.

"How come _I_ gotta do it?" I squeaked.

"Well, you're our crash test dummy, aren't you?" Leader-Sama asked smugly.

"NOT BY CHOICE!" I screeched in defense.

"Just stay calm and use the surrounding structure to jump around all ninja-like and you'll be just fine. Make sure no one sees you though."

"Easy for you to say…"

"Just go."

I stood up and took what would most certainly be my last deep breath.

I was about to ninja down the building when…

"I CAN'T DO IT!" I yelled, turning around.

"I got it, hold on." Hidan said to the other Akatsuki members, walking up to me.

He stood in front of me, a smirk spread across his face.

"Hidan…?"

He shoved me, and I was teetering on the edge. There was no turning back now.

"I hate you." I whispered, falling backwards.

I don't know exactly how I did it, but I managed to flip over and ninja-run down the side of the building.

Those tears you get in the corners of your eyes when going extremely fast were strangely absent, and I tried to pick up enough speed to be invisible to those who just happened to be peering out of their windows.

The cool wintery air was piercing, but when you're running down the side of a building at insane speeds, it's kind of hard to worry about being cold.

It was quite a unique experience.

There was nothing to worry about while flying down the side of a building. Nothing to think about. Nothing to worry about. No one but you.

But just when I felt a little at peace, I remembered that I was supposed to hit the ground.

_CHAKRA CONTROL PWNAGE! _Yelled the author.

I jumped off the remaining wall just in time, and gently floated to the rocky, solid ground.

"YES, YES, YES, YES, YES! THAT FELT SO AWESOME!" I said, jumping up and down and having a rather eerie flashback to those long nights spent crying over the loss of Senna. (12)

Everyone else, seeing I had survived, came flying down with impressive speed.

I was going that fast? It felt like forever but they did it in less than 6 seconds…

"Can we do that again?" I asked once Leader-Sama had regained footing on the pavement.

"We'll run back up whenever we get back if we aren't too lazy." He said, waving me off.

Anyways, we drove down to a nearby mall, ate, and came back. Why do I choose not to describe it? Simple. It would take away from the humor, because the entire voyage to the mall was boring. I wouldn't want to bore you.

Well, I was the only one who wanted to attempt running up the side of the building when we got back, and Kakuzu bet 1,000 ryo that I wouldn't get to the room before them, because they planned on taking the newly fixed elevator.

I took them up on the bet, and the second they were all inside, I started up.

When you have difficulty controlling your chakra like I sometimes do, it's hard to run up a building that went straight up and went up _very far, _mind you.

I almost gave up, but just when I was about to fall backwards…

THUDDLES (13)

I face-planted on the asphalt top of the building.

"OH NO FUCKIN' WAY-… AWESOME!" I yelled, getting up and doing a short victory dance before running inside.

To my complete and utter shock and surprise, I was the first to the suite.

I celebrated by dancing in an awkward manner for a few moments before going in and hiding in an inconspicuous spot.

They walked in 20 seconds later.

"I think we beat her…" Leader-Sama said, looking around.

"YES!" Kakuzu cheered, walking in last and shutting the door.

It was now or never.

"PWNED!" I shouted, jumping off the ceiling above the door (where I had been hiding). I wrapped my legs around his neck in the death by strangulation technique Deidara was teaching me.

"OW SHIT." He yelled, falling over backwards with me still on him.

"WHAT THE-? KIMIKO?" He spluttered, confused and suffocating at the same time.

"I PWN YOU." I said cracking his neck with one quick twitch of my leg. I got off him afterwards.

"You little sneaky-!" He was cut off by the blunt end of a kunai hitting him in the back of the head.

"OW. WHAT THE FUCK, HIDAN?" He shouted, spinning around.

"SHE HAS A FUCKING SPRAINED ANKLE AND WRIST AND SHE _STILL _PWNED YOU." Hidan yelled back, clouds of shame rolling in behind him.

I cut them off from arguing by running up to the mini gray clouds floating around behind Hidan and chasing them about the room, laughing and grabbing at them like a retard.

"We really should get that kid some help…" Sasori said, sweatdropping.

Pein's POV

The next day, we decided to go home. We were running out of funds to stay, anyway.

"Kimiko! I told you to go check to make sure you didn't forget anything!" Konan snapped, seeing as Kimiko was passed out on the couch, waiting for us to be ready.

She bolted upright.

"YES MOTHER…" Kimiko said, trudging over to the bedroom she and Tobi had been sharing to check.

"DON'T GIVE ME BACK TALK, YOUNG LADY." Konan said, an anime tick vein on the back of her head.

"I'M NOT LISTENING…" Kimiko yelled from inside the bedroom.

"DON'T START IN, KIMIKO."

"WELL IF YOU WEREN'T PMS-ING LIKE HIDAN DOES THEN MAYBE I'LL STOP!"

Hidan charged in after Kimiko.

"QUIT BEIN' A FUCKING MARY-SUE, YOU BITCH."

"Since when have I ever been a Mary-Sue?" Her voice dropped.

Hidan must've given her some kind of look.

"… Point taken…"

…

A light snow fell outside the window, and the sky was a fathomless gray.

It had been agreed that we only stop once to minimize the chances of being fangirl glomped, so there was the worry of our car breaking down.

Oh Kami I just jinxed it…

It wasn't so much breaking down while it was snowing as it was the fact that both the suburbans broke down at the same time.

Kimiko's POV

"Alright, WHO JINXED IT?" Itachi asked, getting that scary Uchiha look.

I failed to answer, since I was worried I was the only one.

"OH JASHIN WE'RE GONNA DIE!" I yelled, panicking.

"We aren't gonna die," Leader-Sama started.

"YES, WE'RE GONNA DIE." I yelled, panicking some more.

"Itachi, restrain the crazy child." Leader-Sama commanded, getting out to talk things over with Kakuzu.

My frantic spazzing out was too much for him, however. So, he had Deidara open the door and he threw me out onto the road.

The cold air and being thrown out of a car calmed me down, so I lied there on the road.

"You know, I had a dream like this once…" I said to myself.

Deidara, who had decided to seat himself down in the door where I had just been thrown out of, smiled.

"Oh really, hm?"

"Yeah… 'Cept there was a car that looked a lot like my parent's car coming down the road at me…" I said softly, turning my head down the way we had come.

He raised an eyebrow.

"And I think I was crying… I can't quite remember…" I added, staring blankly down the road.

"You have really weird nightmares, hm." He said, shaking his head.

"It was actually more of me unconsciously remembering it happening." I said, smiling.

"… It actually happened?"

"Yeah." I said, still staring off into space.

"Well that probably wasn't pleasant, hm…"

"Oh, don't worry. It doesn't hurt as much as you think."

He sweatdropped.

I spotted headlights coming, so I ordered him to help me up.

After I had crawled into the car, he asked why I had so abruptly decided to get up.

"I saw a car coming." I said, peering out of the trunk's window.

He looked.

"I don't see anything."

"Say what?" I asked, checking.

No headlights.

My thoughts started racing.

"But… I saw them. I swear, I saw headlights!"

"You're probably just tired, hm."

"I'm tired 95% of the time. I should be used to it by now." I countered, staring off in the direction of where I had spotted the lights.

I know what I saw… Didn't I…?

"Okay, who wants to walk to the gas station 4 miles from here and help get the gas?" Leader-Sama asked, poking his head into the car.

No one said anything.

He sweatdropped awkwardly.

"Kimiko, thank you for volunteering."

I almost died of shock, and I fell backwards into the cargo.

"YOU SAY WHAAAA?" I asked, sitting up.

He gave me a 'You heard me' kind of look.

"But… I'm crippled."

"That's no excuse."

"Well, why can't someone else go? You know I'd just slow you down."

"I'm not saying we need you to be fast. We just need you to be convincing." He said, smirking.

"… I'm not gonna like this, am I?" I asked sheepishly.

…

I jogged into the store, panting.

"Can I please have some gas?"

The cashier, a rather short girl with short brown hair and blue eyes, raised an eyebrow in shocked curiosity.

"What happened to _you_?"

"Daddy ran out of gas 4 miles up the road…" I panted, holding up an empty gas can, trying to act like I was in a hurry.

"Well, why didn't your father just come and get the gas himself?"

"There was a pack of rabid dogs coming down the road, and he said he would hold them off as long as I could." I said urgently.

"Oh, then go right ahead and get some gas. That'll be 10 dollars."

My eyes widened in mock realization.

"Daddy has the money…" I said, hanging my head in my best sad voice.

"Well, then you can't have any gas."

I pretended like I was holding back tears.

"But if I don't get back without gas… We can't go see Mommy… She's already dead, but I still wanna go see her… I wanted to tell her I was sorry, because right before Daddy left with me I told her I hated her… And then maybe I can see my baby sister's grave too…" I sobbed, burying my face in my forearm.

"And I took the Swiss army knife from the glove box… So Daddy can't keep the dogs away much longer…" I choked out, seeing as the cashier wasn't quite convinced.

"He's all I've got left…"

The cashier started crying.

"Alright, just this one time."

She pressed one of those magical cashier buttons near the register, and I wiped my eyes and smiled.

"Thank you…" I said as emotionally as I could, running out of the door to the gas pumps.

"Oh, and Merry Christmas." I said, turning around and smiling at her with my very best

I grabbed the second gas can hidden by the gas pump, filled both of them up, and ran off down the road.

When I finally reached the cars about 2 hours later, I was exhausted, sad, cold, and emotionally drained.

"You are my hero, Kimiko." Leader-Sama sighed, taking the gas cans from me.

I ignored him and got into the suburban.

"OH GOD, I'M GONNA DIE…" I sighed, sitting down and leaning against Sasori.

"Did you have to resort to crying?" Sasori asked, seeing the tear tracks on my face.

"THAT CASHIER WAS A FRIGGIN ROBOT…" I sighed, closing my eyes.

"What did you tell them this time?"

"That my dad was getting attacked by rabid dogs, my mom died and we were on the way to see her, and that I would finally get to see my baby sister's grave." I said, wishing to end the conversation.

"That's cold." Itachi laughed.

"Says Captain Depression…" I said, smirking.

"Oh whatever."

"Every time you breathe a fangirl cries because it's so damn depressing." I said, weakly punching his arm.

"Can't argue with you there."

Leader-Sama hopped into the car and it successfully started.

"Again, you are the most awesome thing on the planet." Leader-Sama said, looking back at me as he climbed in.

The wound on the back of my calf felt rather warm, my sprained wrist and ankle were barely sticking themselves together, I was feeling lightheaded from all the fake acting, and I was totally and utterly emotionally drained.

"I don't think I've used so much emotion in acting in my life…" I groaned, rubbing my forehead and closing my eyes.

I had just managed to doze off when I heard Sasori say something. I had been leaning against him so that I would not have to sleep slumped forward or some other random and painful pose that is often used when trying to sleep in a car.

I opened my eyes.

"Huh?" Leader-Sama asked, apparently ignorant of what Sasori had said the first time.

"Did you check for fangirls…?" Sasori asked, louder than before.

Leader-Sama stopped whatever he was doing and looked out.

A thick, white mist had begun to settle over the already-white landscape.

"It's just like _The Mist_…" I said with a sickening amusement to the whole situation.

"Oh, NOOO…We ain't living through another horror film…" Leader-Sama said, beginning to drive.

"Who says we'll be _living _through this one?" I asked, smirking.

"OH SHUT UP." Deidara snapped, throwing a clay bird at my head.

"SASORI, SASORI! DID YOU SEE THAT?" I asked, shaking him with my good arm.

"Oh shut up." He said, mocking Deidara's tone.

"You guys are all in a clique…" I mumbled, slouching in my seat.

THUMP.

"OH GOD." We all yelled simultaneously, jumping.

We all turned around to look for the source of the sound.

It seemed to have originated by the cargo's window.

"Kimiko, you're small. Go check it out." Sasori said, shoving me over the seat.

I hit the bags in back with a dull thud.

"I hate you, I hate you so much…" I murmured, crawling forward on my stomach.

I slowly straightened, my face mere inches away from the cargo's window.

The icy air emitting from it effected me little, but when I breathed on it some steam flushed off of it.

I stared blankly out at the landscape that was still visible.

Nothing. Just a long, endless field of white.

I was just about to relax when THUD. (14)

A face was right on the other side of the glass.

I tried to do something, ANYTHING to get me moving away. But everything in me froze. I couldn't even scream.

The face was actually quite pretty, with glowing golden eyes and a single fang just barely visible against it's bottom lip. Then, it hit me.

"F-… Fangirl…" I breathed. It wasn't even a whisper; just me mouthing the word while breathing out.

She smiled that one smile that only fangirls seem to be capable of.

"FANGIRL." I was finally able to scream.

Leader-Sama floored it, and we went from 0 to 100 in 3 seconds flat.

But this fangirl kept up, her pretty face always just in view.

"Is she still there?" Leader-Sama yelled after going down the road for 10 seconds.

"SHE IS A DEMON OF SPEED, MAN- FLOOR IT!" I yelled.

"I'm going as fast as I can!"

"WELL SHE'S STILL RIGHT TH-!"

THUMP.

She was gone.

Everything was quiet.

"Wh-… Where'd she… go?" Deidara finally choked out.

"I… I think we… lost her…" I said, staring at the spot she had just been moments earlier.

I sighed.

BOO.

There she was, hanging upside down in front of me, her long blond hair falling over her head and an evil grin on her face.

"SHE LIVES!" I yelled, falling backwards.

But before anyone else could even react, she had crawled out of sight on the top of the car.

"OH CRAP SHE'S A SPIDER HYBRID TOO!" Deidara yelled, frozen in fear.

THUMP THUMP THUDDLES. (15)

We all looked up at the moon roof.

"OH GOD SHE'S PRYING IT OPEN WITH HER CROWBAR!" Itachi yelled.

…

Pein's POV

"I liked the part where the giant purple squid was shooting lazors at us." Tobi said happily.

"Personally, I liked when we drove over the cliff and Michael Jackson saved us by using his levitation powers to float us over to the other side of the gorge." I said, smirking.

"Yeah, good thing he turned up. Or else we'd be in the bottom of the abyss with those nasty Narshlogs and Miley Cyrus."

We pulled up in front of the hideout at around 2 in the morning.

"Guys, we're home." I said softly to those who had fallen asleep in the back.

They all stirred and stretched.

I got out and stretched a little myself.

Our breaths were nothing but puffy clouds in the black night.

Kakuzu's crew had also gotten out of the other suburban and stretched out.

I walked up to the door realized something.

I had locked the keys in the car.

I stepped back, pretending to be having trouble with my jacket and trying to fix it.

Kakuzu waited.

I finally got nervous enough to look at him.

"Aren't you going to unlock the door?" He asked.

"… I locked the keys in the car…" I said, sweatdropping.

He groaned exasperatedly.

"That's what I did too..." He said, upset.

"OH COME ON…" Everyone else groaned.

"I am NOT walking around at 2 in the morning on a freezing cold night to look for another way in…" Konan moaned, stomping her feet to keep warm.

"Do you wanna sleep in the car, then?" I asked.

She pouted, but stayed quiet.

Kimiko started having something close to a panic attack, mumbling frantically and speedily scrambling around on the icy patio.

We all sweatdropped.

Deidara grabbed her shoulders once she was in range of him and began violently shaking her.

"CALM-DOWN-OR-I-WILL-SLAP-YOU!" He yelled.

"OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OWIE…" She said with every shake.

When he let go, she stumbled and staggered about on the icy patio for a few seconds as though she were drunk and finally fell over.

"Calm now, hm?" Deidara asked, hands on his hips.

She nodded, her eyes droopy and unfocused.

"I was just thinking about The Slender Man and all those other spooky stories Hidan enjoys telling me about before I go to bed or get up to go to the bathroom at night."

Everyone knew about The Slender Man, and of course the only ones who had to worry about that were Itachi, Deidara, and Kimiko.

"I mean, what if he knows we're out here?"

"SNAP OUT OF IT!" Deidara yelled, picking her up by her shirt and standing her up.

She staggered around, but finally regained a little balance.

"Okay, so how are we getting in?" I asked.

Kimiko went waddling back to the car, probably thinking it would be open. Everyone else either sat down or tried to break down the door.

All complete fails.

"We are gonna FREEZE out here…" Konan moaned, hanging her head as she sat on the ground.

"Maybe if we break open a window?" Hidan asked, clearly a little bored with himself since he was technically immortal. He was still cold, however. No one in the Akatsuki enjoys being cold.

"I am not paying for another broken window…" Kakuzu said, an anime tick vein appearing on the back of his head.

"Who says you'll be paying for it?" Hidan said, smiling.

Kakuzu gave him a questioning look.

"We'll just say a flying platypus crashed through the window."

That may have sounded quite random to most of you, but it actually makes a lot of sense.

Apparently, our insurance company thought it would be a good idea to put in our contract that the only way they would pay for a broken window was if a platypus flew through it.

"It could be arranged. Kimiko's a good actor, kind of. We'll have her tell a lie for us." Hidan said, grinning.

Then, the most unexpected thing happened.

Kimiko opened the door for us.

"C'mon in, dear dumbasses." She said warmly, smiling.

We stood there for a shocked moment or two.

"H-how- What-? When-? How in-?" We all stuttered.

"Well, I was going to try and break out the car window, but then I remembered that the moon roof is broken from the incident with that fangirl earlier, so I crawled in through there, and by crawl I mean fall in and land on my head…

"Anyway, I got the keys. But you guys were so busy talking about platypuses that I couldn't get to the door, so I took the long way around and unlocked the other door. It was hard not to run considering the fact that I was scared The Slender Man would come get me.

"So I came and unlocked the door, and that's how we got here." She finished by staggering and nearly falling over.

"Again, you are my hero." I said, walking in and giving her a hug.

"Eh, don't worry about it." She said lightly, using her good arm to hug me back.

* * *

(1): 'Sorry' in Japanese. My terrible translation.

(2): 'No problem' in Japanese. Again, one of my terrible translations.

(3): IT'S SAKURA! XD I didn't know who else to put in.

(4): That was repetitive and unnecessary. Sorry. Try saying THAT 5 times fast.

(5): I hate hate HATE describing tears. Every possible direction to go in with explaining tears has been done to death. Plus, it gives her more Mary-Sueness, in my opinion.

(6): YAOI MOMENT! XD Had to put that in there, sorry. It's only yaoi if you squint, for those of you against it.

(7): Can you believe I typed that listening to Caramell Dansen?

(8): This was inspired by me and my cousin's crazy antics we get up to when she comes over. Like you haven't ever connected a totally random occurrence to an OC of yours? …. Okay that didn't make sense…

(9): … That's a common occurrence if you look at the usernames I have for social sites. I have an obsession with adding words in front of 'Silence' to make things sound cool. Just thought I'd let you know that little useless fact about me. XD

(10): For those of you that found it hard to emotionally connect (I made it kind of vague there, sorry), he meant 'Are they still alive?' I was gonna fix it but… Yeah… It adds an air of mystery, doesn't it?

(11):… Did she just insult Goth people…? … I should know that since I wrote it, shouldn't I?

(12): You guys remember Senna, don't you? The one from Bleach? Well, Kimiko was a big fan, believe it or not. Lol

(13): I don't even know where that word came from…

(14): I have a TERRIBLE time describing noises… But it's always fun.

(15): That is the single most awesome sound ever… *dies laughing*…

SO MANY ERRORS... *overly dramatic look of dispair*... And so long too... SIIIGH... Well, if you guys aren't too emotionally drained at my terrible writing, then go ahead and review. You will never ever realize how motivating they are to me. :D


	57. Chapter 57: Christmas! pt1

Herro, kiddies. o3o... I find it easier to break things down into parts. And I know. I'm JUST NOW posting the first part of the Christmas chappie. Well, I will allow you to pelt me with things. I'm the worst updater in history. I fail at life. I know. But go ahead and read!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

To avoid getting caught in all the fighting, I hid in my closet with a bag of Cheetos and a good book.

"Things are different… Too different…" I whispered, holding a Cheeto to my mouth.

Sunny nodded.

I felt a little guilty for calling myself a prodigy, because I couldn't really read much English.

Konan told me it was okay, because learning English isn't much of a requirement, but Hidan said that even _he _could read English perfectly.

But it wasn't the time for learning English… Yet… For now, I could just read and eat chips.

The much dreaded encounter was inevitable, however, and when I was summoned, I was reluctant to leave the comfort of my closet.

The long walk down the corridor was little comfort.

"I guess this is it." Leader-Sama sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"It can't be it. It can't…" Konan whispered rather emotionally.

"At least we'll be able to get away from that cheating boyfriend of yours, Kimiko." Sasori said half jokingly from across the table.

Rather forced or lazy laughs echoed across the table.

I glared at my lap, and the little nicks and scars on the backs of my hands stood out white as I clenched my fists.

"This is your fault, you know." Deidara said, roughly jabbing me with his elbow.

"Huh?" I asked, rubbing my sore ribs he had jabbed.

"If _you _hadn't come along, then we wouldn't be splitting!" He yelled, standing.

I took in a sharp breath.

"Don't yell at her, Deidara." Konan commanded, giving him a scary look.

He reluctantly sat back down.

"You all have until noon tomorrow to pack and leave." Leader-Sama said grimly.

No one wanted to move, so we sat there for several minutes, taking it in.

"It's been a pleasure working with you all." Leader-Sama said finally, standing and leaving afterwards.

It took me a while, but the emotion suddenly hit me like a train and I burst into tears, running to my room and slamming the door behind me.

I slid down the door, trying my best to act like I was seriously upset.

…

A bag filled with a few essentials slung over my back, I trudged out of my room, gave it a sad backwards glance, and kept walking until I got to the patio.

Everyone else was waiting.

We all faced different directions, ready to ninja-jump off into the snowy night.

"If any you idiots don't get to the new lair then I will never forgive you." Leader-Sama whispered, just loud enough for us all too barely hear.

With that, we pretended to look back at each other one last time, and with a great SWISH of air, we all ninja jumped off into the surrounding forests.

I shook my head and laughed as soon as I was sure no one would be able to hear me.

"Damn stalker fan industry has no idea who they're dealing with…" (1)

"I wouldn't under-estimate the stalker industry. You know what they can do to sexy, narcissistic characters like Tamaki from OHSHC." Shadow said, shrugging.

"Oh be quiet, Shady…" I said, rolling my eyes.

Then, we heard a noise.

A scream.

I froze. Shadow froze. Rainy froze. Ghost froze. Sunny froze. We all stopped dead in our tracks.

"Fangirl…" I breathed. I don't even think I said anything. Perhaps I just imagined it.

"KIMIKO!" Sunny yelled. Or perhaps I just imagined that too.

I turned just in time to see a kunai, shining silver in the light of the snowy afternoon.

I gasped and shut my eyes.

I'm gonna die, I thought.

Maybe I was imagining my life.

There was the sound of blood splattering. Blood splashed up into my face.

I felt no pain though. I could only feel the warm blood on my face.

But… Whose was it?

So I opened my eyes.

I covered my mouth and bit down as hard as I could on my bottom lip. It was all I could do to keep from screaming. Perhaps I did scream. Maybe it was just my imagination.

"S-… Sunny…!" I mouthed, feeling my throat constricting.

Everything kind of gets blurry after that.

"Shi no kuro shimo no jutsu!" I remember screaming as my hands clumsily made the correct hand signs. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had to use such a jutsu, but when you're infuriated and psycho like that, it does things to you. (2)

Perhaps I never screamed such words. Perhaps I imagined it.

A thick, black frost jutted out from the ground beneath me, reaching and grabbing, pulling and dragging, ripping and groping, clawing across the frozen ground, melting the pure white snow it touched.

Somewhere in the distance, as I fell to my knees and buried my face in Sunny's fur, a fangirl squealed for the last time.

"Damn fangirls… DAMNIT…" I whispered, banging my fist against the ground.

"Take care of Rainy and the cats for me, okay?" Sunny whispered, lifting her head.

"You idiot…" I said, holding a hand over the nasty wound on her side and pumping all the healing chakra I had.

"It's no use…" She said. Perhaps I imagined her saying it.

"WHY?" I blurted, pressing my face against her soft fur.

"Well, I'm too far gone…" She sighed, lying her head down.

"No, I mean why did you… have to save me? I don't wanna stay here… I don't want anyone to die for me!"

"Too bad." She whispered, smirking.

I bit down on my tongue. Perhaps I was imagining the pain I was feeling.

"I know that you don't want anyone to die for you. But think about how sad everyone would be if _you_ died instead of me. You don't want to put them through that. So promise me you'll stick around with them. They need you…" She said, her eyes shutting.

"Love you…" I murmured, placing a shaky hand on her nose.

"Love you too… Sweetie…" She breathed.

Perhaps I just imagined feeling a part of me die. Perhaps I just imagined losing something close to me.

I lied down next to her, pressed my face against her neck, and screamed.

Perhaps I imagined that too. I couldn't quite tell where reality and imagination merged; only where the blood and pure white fur met with each other on Sunny's lifeless body.

* * *

(1): Scared you, didn't I?

(2): It means 'black frost of death' with 'jutsu' thrown in at the end. I'm bad at translation, sorry. XD Well well well, you guys finally get to see a little of her power, at least.

I know, the death of a dog is always sad. This death being caused by a fangirl is even worse. I also know it's disgustingly rushed. Please don't hate me. I did my best. ; 3 ;... Well, I'll let you pelt me with criticism now... I'll try to get the next part up soon, if that's any help... *goes to emo corner*...


	58. Chapter 58: Christmas! pt 2

I MANAGED TO FINISH PART 2. :D There's gonna be a part 3, and possibly a part 4, seeing as I fail at squeezing things together. (The birthday chappie as example).

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING.

WARNING: GRAPHIC DISCRIPTIONS OF THE SENSELESS SLAUGHTER OF WALNUTS UP AHEAD.

* * *

KIMIKO'S POV!

I finally forced myself up.

I hadn't shed a single tear. I didn't want to cry. I couldn't.

Rainy was lying there with Sunny's lifeless body, his head resting on her chest.

"C'mon, Rainy. She's gone…" I drawled, rubbing Sunny's nose one last time.

"Can't you do something?" He asked quietly.

The lump in my throat was too large to swallow, and it prevented me from talking. I shook my head.

"Byebye, Girl… Chase that fangirl down to hell for me… And tell put in a good word for me with God…" I whispered to her.

I hopped up into a nearby tree and paused.

"C'mon." I said, too overcome with sadness to turn around. I started leaping ahead.

Reluctantly, the two cats and Rainy joined me.

"You should at least cry for her. She deserves that." Ghost said in the same grim tone as Leader-Sama had used in the meeting room. But this time, it wasn't acting.

"She deserves nothing of the sort." I snapped, practically snapping the branch I had landed on as I sprang off it.

They all gasped behind me.

"She doesn't deserve tears. She deserves life. I took that away from her, and I can't give it back…" I said, looking down.

They all shut up after that.

We finally made camp for the night. But after something like that, do you actually expect me to sleep? No. I was sitting there, staring down at a picture at Sunny from my iPod.

"They took away my sunshine…" I whispered, smiling miserably.

Sunny would've laughed.

"You were my sunshine, my only sunshine… You made me happy when skies were gray… You'll never know dear… How much I loved you… Why did you take my sunshine away? " I sang, staring up.

I lied down, closed my eyes, and knew it would never be the same with only 3 other things sleeping next to me.

But every now and again, I would wake up and expect to see Sunny sleeping soundly next to me.

I was destroyed a little more inside every time I checked.

3RD PERSON!

Pein couldn't believe how clean the new lair was.

The furniture was exactly how they had left it. The plumping worked perfectly, and it was as if they'd never left it; although they hadn't been there in about a year.

Even the dent in the wall from Hidan's head just above the flat screen TV in the lounge was the same.

"Brings back memories, huh…" Pein remarked, setting his bag aside and plopping down in a nearby chair.

Konan nodded, looking around.

"Except this time we'll have one more occupant…" She put in, setting herself down in Pein's lap.

They began to make out, enjoying every bit of the alone time they had.

Eventually, they were lying on the floor and having an all-out tongue war.

Before they could get any farther though, Deidara and Kisame walked in.

"Get a room, kids." Kisame said as he glared disapprovingly, covering Deidara's eyes.

Deidara sweatdropped for being treated like a child, and the two love birds on the floor sweatdropped because Kisame was glaring holes into their skulls.

"Since when did you become such a Saint?" Pein asked, refusing to get up.

Before Kisame could answer however, Itachi walked in.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Getting cozy, are we?"

"Oh shut up, Emo." Konan said, rolling her eyes and standing.

"Any trouble getting over here?" Pein asked, following Konan's actions.

"I did, believe it or not. There was about 4 fangirls I had to take down getting over here. But I think it was just a coincidence. They didn't seem organized or didn't really have much reason to be there."

"Damn… What if they know, hm?" Deidara inquired.

"They couldn't. Our ploy was perfect."

"If they _do_ know, they would've been posted here as well. When we got here it was perfectly secure. It was probably just a little bad luck."

Just then, Kakuzu came in, dragging Hidan behind him.

"You can let go now, Bastard…" Hidan said, clearly irritated.

Kakuzu gladly let go of Hidan's collar, letting Hidan plummet to the floor.

"Now we're just waiting for Sasori, Zetsu, Tobi, and… Kimiko."

Speak of the devil…

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi yelled, tackling Deidara from behind.

"GAAAH!" Deidara cried, falling backwards.

"Tobi! How'd you… get in?" Kisame asked, a little stunned by the way Tobi decided to make himself known.

"Tobi chimney because he didn't feel like using the door."

Everyone sweatdropped.

Zetsu then phased through the wall.

"Hello all," Said the black side.

"Now we just need to wait for Sasori and Kimiko," Konan sighed.

"Haven't you noticed that Kimiko's always the latest out of all of us?" Hidan remarked, sitting down.

"It's not like Sasori to be late, come to think of it…" Itachi observed.

"Oh yeah… Such an impatient man, isn't he?" Pein asked, meaning for it to be a rhetorical question.

MEANWHILE…

Kimiko and Sasori were nearing the hideout.

Sasori was rushing; the exact opposite of Kimiko. She was trying to take things slowly. She needed a little more time to clear her emotional slate before she had to deal with her Akatsuki idiots.

Then there was the worry of her mental state…

But you're the reader. We want you to be happy. Kimiko's declining mental health is nothing you want to hear about, right?

Well, too bad.

Kimiko was suffering from a light depression. But it was so slight that she herself couldn't even notice, what with Sunny's death, Makoto cheating, Kazuki coming back and all.

The only way I can describe it is a pod of emotion, sealed deep inside her. The pod of emotion was screaming with all it's might to be set free, but Kimiko had a brick wall of security holding it all in.

Yet, this pod grew stronger with ever passing day, and soon it would have to explode, and Kimiko's defenses were slowly dying and thinning out.

Depression was simply the outcome of the conflicting emotions sealed away inside her.

Meanwhile, fangirls and wild animals were on the loose. Sure, she was only a couple hundred meters away form the lair, but you never know.

If we had broadcasted the Akatsuki sneaking stealthily through the forest on our fangirl cams, thousands of people across the world would be trying to molest them through their televisions. Who would want _that_?

"You're gonna end up going psycho if you don't get emotional once in a while, you know." Shadow said, hoping it would make her laugh.

"Oh shut up, Shady. I'm fine." Kimiko said, casting a sad smile in her direction.

"Like we haven't heard that one before…" Ghost said, rolling his eyes.

"Do you want me to go Yuri on your adorable kitty ass?" (1)

Ghost sweatdropped.

"And where'd you pick that colorful vocabulary?"

"Mostly from Hidan."

"Ah…" Ghost said, nodding. Shadow had long since decided to shut up and see what happened next.

"'Cept he says 'yaoi' instead of 'yuri'."

"Too much info…"

"Sorry."

"HEY LOOK WE'RE ALMOST THERE!" Rainy blurted, motioning to the new lair ahead of them with his head.

"OH THANK JASHIN…" Kimiko sighed in relief.

"You didn't _have _to pick the longest route around the old hideout, you know…" Shadow mumbled.

"Leader-Sama said that I'm the youngest, so I'd be the most agile."

"You can't even walk in a straight line for more than 10 feet."

"Last time I checked, it was 15.5 feet, Mister."

"Well… Why did you take the job anyway?"

"… He asked me to."

Shadow sweatdropped.

"You're rather obedient with these guys, aren't you?"

"Well, when you're smacked around for all your life for doing the most minor mistake or infraction then you kind of learn who and who not to respect."

"I knew you were gonna say that…"

"HUSH NOW GRASSHOPPER WE'RE HERE."

At least she's in a better mood, Shadow thought.

The new lair was in extreme likeness to the old hideout, but there were a few things here and there that told you it was different.

For one thing, the rock it was carved into was a darker shade of brown and gray that before.

It was also shaped differently, and it was a little smaller.

Kimiko trekked forward, surveying her new and unfamiliar surroundings.

She was so absorbed in the scenery that she ran into the steps of the front door, and for a moment fell _up_ the stairs.

"GODDAMN DEPTH PERCEPTION ISSUES…" She whispered harshly, pushing herself up.

The patio again had stairs, but they were windier and more elaborately built, turning 2 times before you could fully reach the top.

"Nice..." Kimiko said approvingly, climbing them.

She finally reached the top, and was greeted with a moderately large patio deck.

For a moment she wondered how she would get in.

Then, she got an idea.

The door could help me, couldn't it? She thought, looking around.

There was a door right there.

"Oh…," She said, sweatdropping.

"I am such an idiot…" She mumbled under her breath, walking in.

Ghost, Shadow, and Rainy followed her in. Rainy decided to follow her, while the cats decided to have a look around.

"Stealth ninja…" (2) She whispered, getting low to the ground and kicking her snowy ninja boots off.

She was so low to the ground she was practically crawling. Rainy made sure not to make any noise as he crept along with her.

The room right outside the genken, which would Kimiko could only describe as the main hall, was quiet. She had seen everyone else's shoes in the genken, hadn't she?

No, Sasori's weren't there. She knew because she had memorized all the battle scars on their shoes.

The wooden furniture was a beautiful dark kind of wood, and everything looked rather elegant and comfortable.

"I can't wait to start living here…" She whispered, crouching lower.

"Me neither…" Rainy replied.

She heard voices from a nearby room, so she crept up and pressed herself into the wall just outside the door.

She undid her wrist splint.

1… 2… 3!

"BOOM, HEADSHOT!" She yelled, flinging her wrist splint directly at the first person she saw.

It bounced off Hidan's head and feebly landed onto the floor just by his feet.

"Kimiko!" Konan squealed, startled.

"I have arrived, rejoice." Kimiko said, hoping she hadn't come off as sounding sad or anything. She had just remembered Sunny. She knew Sunny would've laughed.

Everyone smiled at her, and she couldn't help but laugh. She didn't feel any better, but it took her mind off Sunny for a moment.

But then the question she had been dreading was asked.

"Any trouble on the way over?"

Pein's POV

It was a simple enough question. I didn't mean for her to get so…

I must've did _something_ wrong, because she totally froze up for a moment or two.

"Why do you… ask…?"

"Just wondering…"

But before she could think about answering, Sasori popped in.

"Sorry. I got dragged down by a couple fangirls. I had to tell them I saw Tobi and Deidara making out while I was coming so I could get away."

In case you were wondering, we split off in different directions, so we had to go all the way around the hideout grounds and make our way to the new hideout, so that could be an explanation as to why certain people made it before others.

Meanwhile, Tobi and Deidara both sweatdropped and refused to make eye-contact with Sasori after that.

"Are you sure these fangirls are just a coincidence?" Konan asked, tossing a worried glance at me.

"Sasori, were these fangirls organized or posted in any way that would suggest they knew anything?"

"No. I think they were just wandering around."

"We can't be so sure we're safe until we know if _they_ know about our whereabouts."

Everything was quiet for a time.

"I think they know something."

We were all a little startled, and I was surprised to see that Kimiko was the one who had decided to break the silence.

"Who?"

"I'm talking about the fangirls. Maybe we left behind something. Maybe we didn't play our parts right," Kimiko said, rubbing her eyes. It must've been because she was tired. She does that often.

"We did everything flawlessly. You and Deidara's performances are what saved us, in my opinion."

Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Well, they knew something…" Kimiko trailed off, casting her gaze up to the ceiling.

"… So you ran into them too?"

"… Only one… Killed her on the spot…"

I raised an eyebrow.

"A little harsh for just annoying you…"

Her two cats wandered in and began sniffing everything; the way only cats can do without looking stupid.

I saw one of her dogs lying under a chair nearby.

She had 4 animals, the last time I counted.

"Kimiko… Didn't you used to have… 4 pets…?" I asked hesitantly.

She took in a sharp breath as if she had suddenly remembered something, and nodded.

"What… happened to the… 4th one…?"

I knew I crossed the line the moment I said it.

She shook her head and closed her eyes.

"What did she ever do to those damn fangirls?" She squeaked, sitting down on the floor and resting her head in her arms.

I had the faint instinct to give her a hug, but no one (including me) moved a muscle.

"Not gonna cry, not gonna cry, not gonna cry…" She whispered, rocking back and forth.

That would've been almost comical if we weren't dealing with the death of a dog.

Sure, I didn't even know the dog's name, but I do know it was a talented and capable dog. Looking at how lonely and depressed Kimiko was when we first met her, those animals were probably all she had left.

"I'm good, I'm good…" Kimiko said finally getting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Do you need… a talk or something…?"

She shook her head.

I turned around and surveyed the room.

Everyone was present.

"So… How do you plan on getting our stuff back, hm?" Deidara asked, seeing as everyone had packed rather lightly.

"_We _are going to go back, take out the cameras, and get our stuff."

Oh, that's right.

You don't know about the cameras.

Thank god one of us noticed them before it was too late.

You see, someone had hacked into the surveillance system set up around the hideout, and we were being spied on every since we returned from our trip.

That would explain to you why we had to use a clever ploy to make them believe we had split up.

How were we able to detect the spies?

Well, Kimiko had been downloading some songs onto her MP3 and her laptop picked up on an unfamiliar signal.

She decided to check it out, and found a direct link to the surveillance system.

She was able to temporarily disconnect the signal, which bought us enough time to pull together a plan.

Sadly, the enemy system managed to download a virus into her MP3, and it was ruined.

You may be wondering why her MP3 was ruined and not her computer. We're going by the author's silly logic and extreme unknowing of technology. Let's just leave it at that.

Kimiko was crushed, and I swear to me (5), it was the most amusingly sad thing ever.

FLASHBACK…

_Kimiko pulled her MP3 from the computer and turned it on._

_It flickered, and the screen was blue._

_Then, with one quick blink to Kimiko as if to say Goodbye, it died and never came back on._

"_NOOOOOO! OH GOD…. OOOOOOH GOD NOOOO!" She screamed, collapsing on the floor and hugging her poor MP3._

_Everyone came in to see what was wrong._

_She pointed at an email she received on her computer with her free hand, whimpering hysterically._

'_For every day our cameras are messed with, one of your loved ones will die.'_

"_IT DIDN'T… HAVE TO DIE…" She sobbed, curled into a fetal position on her floor, the dead MP3 clutched in one of her shaking fists._

_She screamed and cried into the floor, lying on her stomach and squirming around in a rather comic sort of fashion, mumbling curses and every so often bang on the floor with her good fist._

_It was as if she was an injured animal, twisting and writhing on the floor, screaming her lungs out._

_Hidan was finally able to flip her over onto her back and pin her down onto the floor, while Konan restrained her legs._

"_SNAP OUT OF IT, BITCH!" Hidan yelled in her face, shaking her shaking shoulders._

_Her head banged against the floor a few times, and she was finally able to calm down a little._

_It was a first for the Akatsuki to see her cry so painfully, so emotionally._

"_KILL ME, HIDAN! KILL ME RIGHT NOW!" She shouted into his face, struggling and wriggling about, trying to pull her limbs free._

"_IT WAS JUST A FREAKING MP3 PLAYER, GET OVER IT!" Hidan yelled back, slapping her so hard that her head had jerked to the side._

_She faced the way her head had been forced, and she began trying to take in normal gulps of air._

"_DON'T TELL ME HOW TO GET OVER IT, YOU DUMB BASTARD!" She screamed with surprising force._

_Hidan had to be restrained from attacking her._

"_KIMIKO! HIDAN! CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW!" Pein yelled, seeing as the two were painfully close to seriously injuring each other._

_Kimiko broke free from Itachi, Kisame, and Konan's grasp however and charged at Hidan, delivering a fatal blow to his manhood._

_He screamed and fell over, where Kimiko proceeded to violently kick him in the head._

"_BOOM, HEADSHOT!"_

"_Oh god…" Pein groaned, rubbing his temples._

END FLASHBACK…

Kimiko now sat tiredly slumped in a chair, shadows under her dazed green eyes. From her appearance now, you could never tell what kind of emotional breakdowns she was capable of when provoked.

I then remembered how her eyes were missing their pupils.

She's 100% stereotypical anime girl now, I thought smirking.

It puzzled me how she could easily scream her lungs out over an MP3, but not shed a single tear over the loss of a dog.

"Can't we do it tomorrow, like when we aren't ready to die of exhaustion?" Konan asked, curling up on one of the many couches that sat in the room that would soon become the lounge.

"That's what I was just about to add in… I think we all need a break…" I said, leaning against a nearby loveseat.

It got quiet for a few moments.

"Hey Kimiko… I think you laid it a little thick back there at the hideout." I said, looking up at her.

I could plainly see that she was on her last legs, and I wasn't really expecting a relevant response.

"You're right, you're right… I don't deserve to be conscious right now…" She finished off by shutting her eyes and falling out of her chair.

We all shook our heads.

"There is something wrong with that kid…"

Kimiko's POV

I awoke some time during the night, curled up on a couch.

The wind beat against the new hideout with unrelenting force, and for a faint moment I thought we were still back at the old hideout; like nothing had changed.

But something certainly changed.

I shook myself awake and stood up, nearly falling over upon remembering that I had a sprained ankle and a healing stab wound on the back of my calf.

"DAMN YOU INJURIES…" I whispered, staggering out into the hall.

Looking back into the lounge, I saw that everyone else was sleeping in there.

Don't know how I missed _them,_ I thought, sweatdropping.

It was pitch black out in the corridor, and I was worried that I would encounter something such as a ghost or The Slender Man…

THUD.

I bolted back into the lounge and threw myself back onto the couch I had woken up on, pretending to sleep.

No one moved, but I knew they were awake.

I sensed someone staring at me, and I'm one of those people whose minds are wired wrong, because whenever I try to pretend to sleep, I decide to start laughing at nothing.

I began sensing more and more stares, and before I knew it, I was pretty sure everyone was looking right at me.

I couldn't hold it any more.

I started giggling hysterically.

"Are you… okay…?" Leader-Sama asked slowly.

"I'm… fine…" I said, still laughing quite hard.

"Well, why are you laughing?"

"Because everyone was looking at me… while I was trying to pretend to sleep…"

"That's not… right…"

"Like you've never pretended to sleep before?" Konan butted in, sitting up.

"No… Okay, maybe once or twice, but at least I don't start laughing like a hedgehog on crack like she does."

"… I'd love to see a hedgehog on crack…" I said, scratching the back of my head and sighing.

"You _are_ a hedgehog on crack…" Hidan muttered under his breath.

THUD.

Everyone froze.

"… You heard that… Right…?" Itachi asked quietly to no one in particular.

I'm about 30 percent sure I nodded.

"… Hidan, you're immortal; you go check it out!" Leader-Sama said, shoving Hidan up onto his feet.

"Why me?" He asked to himself, walking out into the darkness of the hall.

3RD PERSON!

Hidan took the dark hall head-on, telling himself that he was immortal, and nothing would be able to kill him.

That's when he saw it.

It was a moose.

It was a large, frightening moose; one that was eating walnuts.

He stared at it for a moment, thinking that being around Kimiko and her retardedness had finally gotten to his head.

But there was the moose, as plain as day.

He wondered faintly how he could even be staring at it, considering the fact that just a moment ago he was standing in utter darkness.

But nevertheless, he sprinted into the opposite direction, away from the moose.

However, this moose was different. Instead of staying to finish off its walnuts, it ran after Hidan.

As Hidan ran by the lounge, where everyone had been eagerly gazing at the entrance in hopes that he would return, he decided it was best to warn them.

"MOOSE HAS THE WALNUTS!"

Everyone, half terrified and half confused, got up and peered out into the hall to see what Hidan had meant.

A big, brown, hairy moose ran past them just as they had done so.

"OH SHIT IT'S A MOOSE." Sasori yelled, jumping back.

Kimiko being Kimiko, she fell over backwards instead of jumping back.

The moose halted and spun around. Despite it being clear that he should've gone after the currently screaming and frantically running zealot in the background, he ran straight toward Kimiko.

Why, we cannot say. Perhaps she startled it when she fell backwards. Perhaps she smelled appealing to a moose. Perhaps another reason we can't think of at the moment.

It didn't occur to Kimiko that she was about to be run over by a moose until it was 2 feet from her face.

BOOM.

...

Sasori woke up to the feeling of sunshine on his face, so he sat up.

There was a clinking and clattering sound; a sound he recognized as chains.

He was lying on the floor, chained to the floor.

The sound of chains shook several others awake.

"Wha-? Where… Where are we…?" Pein asked, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up.

"… Don't tell me the fangirls groped us…" Deidara said, sitting up and looking around.

Kimiko (who surprisingly hadn't been woken by Sasori's chains rattling) suddenly began to stir nearby, muttering unintelligible words, however they could make out her saying something about cupcakes.

"What makes you think it was the fangirls?" Sasori asked, shifting his gaze from the disturbing curses and unintelligible rants of Kimiko's sleepy mind to Deidara.

"Well who else could it be, hm?" Deidara replied, tugging on his chain.

Kakuzu then woke up.

"Oh god, where are we?" He asked, pulling at his chain weakly as if to size up its strength.

No one had gotten a full viewing of the entire room, so they began looking around.

After 3 seconds of processing where they were with their groggy minds, it hit them just as the moose had.

"We're back at the hideout…" Pein whispered, as if to convince himself more than anyone else.

Kimiko, who had up to that point been muttering curses and fidgeting, bolted upright, screaming

"MOOSE HAS THE POWER!"

Everyone flinched unintentionally at her sudden yell of deliriousness.

"Do we need to take your temperature…?" Deidara asked, raising an eyebrow cautiously.

Kimiko tilted her head to the side, confused.

"Say something, you little freak!" Kakuzu yelled, seeing as Kimiko had a 'not all there' expression.

Her eyes finally settled on him, and she seemed to come to sort of realization.

"… Are we dead?"

"… We don't know yet…" Pein replied, looking around.

A faint glimmer of light glinted from the hallway, and based on the color and intensity, it had to be about 8 in the morning.

"Maybe we're ghosts… or something…" Kimiko suggested, seeing as they were back at their old hideout.

"What makes you say that?"

"… Well, they say that when people die, sometimes they return to a place that was special to them, or where a significant event in their lives took place."

"Where did you pick _that_ up?"

She shrugged.

"It just came to me after I got knocked out when I was 9."

There was a loud CLING A BABOOM nearby, like something antlers ramming at the wall.

This woke up the others, who had up to that point been sound asleep.

"What-… where-… How did we-…?" Kisame stuttered, looking around.

"We're ghosts." Kimiko said, smiling happily.

"Oh, quit it with the ghost stuff, will you?" Pein asked, rubbing his temples. The motion made his chains rattle.

"Why are we chained to the floor…?" Itachi asked, examining his chain as if it wasn't even attached to him.

"I bet it was the moose…" Konan muttered, rubbing her head and messing up her short blue hair.

"A _moose _chained us up to the floor…?" Deidara asked, seeing as the way Konan worded it.

"No… I mean… Uh, well-… I worded that wrong…," Konan spluttered, a little confused.

"Hey… Where's Hidan…?" Kimiko asked groggily, looking around for the immortal zealot among the remaining Akatsuki.

Everyone joined in her search.

"HIDAN!" Kakuzu yelled, expecting an answer.

All was quiet.

Then, the sound of chains and another thud.

"Maybe if one of us can get out of these chains, then we can find out what's going on…" Deidara suggested, yanking his chain.

That was when they realized that the chains had been screwed into the floor.

"… ZETSU!" Kimiko suddenly shouted as if she was a child calling for a parent.

No answer.

"… Where _is _Zetsu…?" Sasori asked, looking around.

"If we could find Zetsu, then maybe he can help us get out of these chains and get back to the lair. Then we might be able to find some answers." Leader-Sama devised, finding it futile to struggle with his chains.

Kimiko, trying to shift into a more comfortable position, lost her balance and fell onto her side, although seeing as she was plainly sitting up made it a little difficult to understand how that would be possible.

She squeaked in pain. As most of the Akatsuki knew, she wasn't comfortable with screaming when in pain.

"What?" Itachi asked, seeing as her squeaks of pain speak louder than screams.

"My… wrist… " She hissed out struggling and wriggling about.

They then remembered that she might still have her splint on.

"Hey, Kid… Is your splint still on…?" Pein asked, trying to peer over her to see.

She froze, coming to the similar revelation.

"Yeah, it is."

They all gasped, getting the same idea.

"Can you try to wiggle out of it…? If you can get an arm free, then maybe you could get the other one out…" Pein trailed off, thinking up a plan.

Kimiko squirmed and struggled, trying to free her hands. With them chained behind her back, it was quite a difficult task.

Finally, her wrist slipped free and she tried to resist the urge to make any noise, as it probably hurt.

She then found a way to break the lock on her other wrist restraint, and she was just about to get up and help everyone else out of their chains, when there was the sound of footsteps outside in the hall.

A girl, around 13 or 14 with waist-length indigo blue hair and shiny purple eyes stepped into view.

She seemed surprised to see the Akatsuki sitting up and looking around; but mostly by the fact that one had managed to break free of the restraints.

"They're… They're awake…!" She managed to choke out before going all-out fangirl berserk.

She ran forward with lightning speed, and knocked over a few chairs and couches before reaching Kimiko, who she kicked over also. Apparently, this fangirl enjoyed knocking things over.

"How did you get out of your chains?" She demanded, staring at Kimiko with eyes that flashed with anger.

"I-… I…!" Kimiko stuttered, her voice not even a decibel higher than a whisper.

"Tell-me-now!" The girl yelled, kicking Kimiko repeatedly.

"… My-… My splint came off and my hand slid out…!" Kimiko squealed, curled into a ball.

"Oh, well explain why your _other_ hand is free."

"We told her to get her other hand free." Pein butted in, seeing as Kimiko had already been suffering enough.

The fangirl's eyes gained a dreamy look.

"I know you better than that, Nagato-kun…," She cooed, smiling.

Pein was stunned. No one called him Nagato but Konan.

The fangirl turned back to Kimiko and slapped handcuffs onto her wrists.

"You're comin' with me, Mini-bitch." (4)

She then shoved her to her feet and dragged her out of the room; literally.

This, _fangirl,_ grabbed onto the cuffs and dragged Kimiko along on the floor. Had Kimiko not been the one being dragged away, and had she not been in unbearable pain from her tender wrist, she would have laughed.

'Find a way out' Kimiko mouthed just as she and the fangirl turned a corner.

"So… The fangirls were behind all this…?" Itachi asked, uselessly tugging at his chains. He knew they wouldn't be budging any time soon.

"We can't be sure of that, but it's a reasonable assumption…" Pein agreed.

Another fangirl, one that looked painfully over-exaggerated in the chest area, came galloping in and batted her eyelashes at the remained Akatsuki men.

"Hi boys," She giggled, waving.

Konan raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, and Konan…," The fangirl added, rolling her eyes.

Insert a tick vein from Konan.

"You'll be coming with me first, Itachi." She said, casting an infatuated gaze in his direction.

He remained expressionless, but his wrists tightened against the restraints. He clearly wanted to leave.

The fangirl squealed. She just couldn't resist his cute face.

There was another familiar thump, followed by the sound of something roaring.

"Kagura, get in here!" The fangirl yelled over her shoulder, annoyed.

A big, fat, simple moose walked in.

Everyone's eyes widened in surprise.

"Good boy, Kagu… Good boy…" She murmured to the large creature, stroking its nose as if it were nothing more than a horse.

The moose seemed uninterested in the entire situation.

"Oh, this is my little Kagura," Explained the fangirl.

"KIYUKI!" called a voice from down the hall.

"COMING, NAOKO!" The fangirl named Kiyuki yelled back.

Kiyuki smiled.

"I'll be seeing you fine gentlemen later," She whispered, backing gracefully out of the room.

The moose cast an uncaring look at the Akatsuki before turning and moseying out of the room.

"What is _with_ the fangirls these days?" Kisame asked once they were sure the moose and fangirl were gone.

"We need to find Zetsu," Pein said, knowing that Zetsu was their best bet at the moment.

"Unless that lazy-ass Hidan decides to show up," Kakuzu added.

"We still have Kimiko out there. She might be able to get us out," Konan said.

"How about we make a bet?" Kisame asked.

Everyone looked at him.

"Is _now _really the best time to be laying bets down?" Pein asked.

"As good a time as any," Kisame replied, shrugging.

Everyone liked the idea.

Konan, Deidara, and Tobi bet that Kimiko would get them out first.

Kisame, Pein, and Itachi bet that Zetsu would be the first.

Kakuzu and Sasori bet that Hidan would save them.

It would certainly be an interesting escape.

* * *

(1): XD OH GOSH… *dead from laughing so hard*…

(2): I enjoy playing Stealth Ninja (which is when you pretend to be a ninja) around the house and several other places rather frequently. So I thought; why wouldn't Kimiko like this too? So there you go.

(3): So you guys have already forgotten that he is a god? HMM? Lol…

(4): … Mini-bitch…? *tries not to giggle*

WELL... I understand it's probably a fail. But I tried my best. PART 3 IS A-COMIN'! *goes to emo corner and starts writing*... REVIEW PWEASE.


	59. Chapter 59: Christmas! pt 3

I fail horribly at updating, I know. (_ _|||

* * *

Kimiko was being dragged down a dark hall by a particularly feisty fangirl by the wrists. That was all she really knew at the time.

Her sprained wrist was causing her extreme pain, but she tried her best to stay quiet.

If I could find Zetsu or Hidan… I could tell them where the others are and we can get out of here, Kimiko thought as she surveyed the familiar territory of the hideout.

"Where are we… going…?" Kimiko peeped.

The fangirl smiled. If not a little evilly.

"I'm going to torture you."

Kimiko thought she felt something drop in her chest.

"Uh… _Torture_…?"

The very thought of torture made Kimiko's skin crawl, and it the very word dried her tongue with fear. She of course, was happy to help Itachi with the occasional spy that had managed to sneak into the hideout, but when it was directed towards her, she lost all sense of humanity and selflessness. She, although in her mind she believed she should die by torture, hated the idea of it happening to her. It brought her back to the days of her hellish childhood.

But then, she spotted something.

A flower pot! A flower pot with an enormous Venus flytrap sitting in it!

"Zetsu…!" She whispered as loudly as she dared.

"What was that?" The fangirl asked, turning her head sharply to glare at Kimiko suspiciously.

"I … almost sneezed..." Kimiko lied, keeping her eyes on the floor.

"That didn't sound like an attempt to stop a sneeze."

"We all sneeze differently, I guess…."

The fangirl seemed satisfied with the answer, and she turned around again.

"Zetsu!" Kimiko breathed, hoping that by some miracle he'd decide to hear her.

He opened his flytrap a crack and looked at her.

Her face brightened.

'Help me' she mouthed desperately, motioning to the fangirl with her eyes.

Zetsu phased through the wall behind him.

Kimiko stared at the spot he had disappeared, and she knew exactly what was about to happen.

The fangirl screamed as Zetsu rose from the floor and blocked her path.

"Let the girl go, now." The dark side said smoothly.

The fangirl let Kimiko drop to the ground with a thud.

My butt's paying for it real good, Kimiko thought as she resisted the urge to groan in pain.

Zetsu was just about to dig into the horrified fangirl when Kimiko said one simple word.

"Don't."

Zetsu looked at her.

"Hm?" The white side asked, seeing as the black side wasn't planning to say anything.

"Don't eat her."

Zetsu raised an eyebrow.

"I'd just tie her up and leave her in the basement… Let the mouspiders get her…"

Zetsu nodded grimly and threw the still-terrified fangirl over his shoulder before phasing through the floor to the basement.

Kimiko sweatdropped.

"He forgot to get the cuffs off me…"

Using what little agility she had, she pushed herself to her feet and waddled down the hall to the lounge.

But something stopped her dead in her tracks.

It was THE MOOSE.

It stared at her with mild curiosity, its head tilted slightly to the side.

Moose were one of the many animals she was quite frightened to be around. They were enormous, stupid, scary, they ate like there was no tomorrow, and the noises they made were frightening.

The moose stared at her. She stared at the moose. You could pop a balloon with the tension mounting in between their gazes.

Then, slowly, ever so slowly, Kimiko slid a hand into the pocket of her pants and pulled out a packet of kool-aid powder.

"It's go time, Moose."

MEANWHILE…

Zetsu had thrown the fangirl into the vast darkness of the basement, watching as the small, scrawny mouspiders scurried about, trying to figure out what exactly had been tossed down at them.

"Oh dear Kami, what are those things?" The fangirl cried, scrambling to get into a sitting position.

"Mouspiders. Have fun."

Zetsu slammed the basement door, and paused briefly to listen to the fangirl's screams through the door before walking on, smirking.

PEIN'S POV!

I fumbled about with my chains, twisting and turning to get into a better and more comfortable position.

"Someone should've been here by now…" Konan said, yawning.

"I'd wait a little longer before we lose hope yet."

A fangirl screamed in the distance. It was most likely Miyuki.

"They probably found Hidan…" Kakuzu said, grinning a little mischievously under his mask.

Then, all hell broke loose all at once.

Hidan busted through a nearby wall, Zetsu came phasing through the floor with a ridiculously large pair of wire-cutters, and Kimiko came rushing in, Kagura the moose following closely behind; all at the same time.

"Hidan?"

"Zetsu!"

"Kimiko…?"

"Will you people just freaking come with me already? I busted a whole through the damn wall and everything!" Hidan hollered, impatiently placing a hand on his hip and rolling his eyes.

"Hold on, I'm getting the chains off." Zetsu responded, using the wire-cutters to cut the chains that bound us.

"Hurry up, the fangirls are coming!" Kimiko said, tossing a concerned glance at the door.

After we were freed, we hustled through the hole in the wall and began sprinted toward the tree line.

The moose leapt through the gap in the wall after us, and it growled.

Kimiko stopped and spun around.

"Kimiko, c'mon!" Konan called.

Kagura stamped his feet.

"No, you stay here."

Kagura grunted.

"I don't care. Go back."

He mooed.

Kimiko hesitated and shook her head.

He stepped forward and made puppy eyes at her.

"Fine. C'mon."

She hopped onto his back, and plowed past us with surprising speed on her new companion.

"He's coming with us," She yelled over her shoulder, already 100 meters ahead of us.

I was about to protest when Konan butted in.

"Let her have the moose; she needs something to fill the void that dead dog of hers left."

That shut me up.

After a mile or two of running, we finally decided to leap into the trees. It made the going much easier.

Kimiko was still riding her moose like a horse. It looked a little fun, to be quite honest.

* * *

It's extremely short, I know. But I'm trying hard, over here. And I realize I now have to make a Valentine's day chappie to worry about... I'M TRYING. Review this incredibly short crappy chappie? :3?


	60. Chapter 60: Christmas! pt 4

Hey thar, my Dears. I KNOW I KNOW... But as many of you might know, my computer decided to be an asshole and it got amnesia, thus deleting the exciting conclusion (NEARLY FINISHED) to the Christmas saga, the Valentine's day chappie that I had been working on, and the St. Patrick's day one I was working on too! Not to mention hours of other worthless little things that I planned on maybe showing to people one day... UH...

So if this chappie sucks, it's 'cause I had to improvise 'cause I felt bad about leaving you guys hanging. I'M TRYING AS HARD AS I CAN...

I own nothing. NOTHING.

* * *

"I bet you can't throw that at the tree and make it stick."

Kimiko looked up slowly from the ornament she was, up until that moment, staring blankly at.

"You're talking to the unluckiest kid on the planet. Even _Tobi _would know that I would fail."

Hidan considered this for only a moment before countering.

"So? I'd like to see how badly you'll screw it up."

Kimiko, now seeing that she was being challenged, stood up with her little silver ball ornament and backed up until she was standing in the lounge doorway.

With one clumsy throw, the silver ornament was sent airborne before latching onto a branch of the silver Christmas tree for a whole 3 triumphant milliseconds before plummeting to the ground with a dull series of small thumps.

"I told you," Kimiko droned as she plopped herself back into her seat.

"It clung to the branch for what, a good 3 milliseconds?" Kisame offered from the far end of the room.

"Give it a rest, Honey; I lost."

"That wasn't very entertaining; I expected it to bounce off the nearby wall or something funnier. That just gave me a 2 second heart attack for thinking I was actually wrong."

"I've given _much longer_ heart attacks, trust me."

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

Thus ending the conversation, as Kimiko could no longer continue her train of thought while lying on the floor, now knowing more of these 2 second heart attacks than she ever wished to.

…

"Alright, everyone have their socks off?"

"Yeah (Un)!" was their response.

"At the count of three, everyone runs out onto the deck and the last one out here wins."

Everyone nodded.

1… 2… 3…!

Everybody scrambled out onto the deck and stood in the snow with their bare feet.

"OH HOLY FU-!" Kimiko was abruptly cut off by a 'Watch your mouth, young lady' look from Konan.

"Say it, Kimiko. I dare you." Hidan said, smirking.

"You son of a batch of cookies…" Kimiko muttered, seeing as Konan was still glaring at her.

"Hi Mommy," Hidan provoked, his smirk growing wider.

"Oh now that was just unfair."

Deidara leapt into the doorway and sat down in the doorway, rubbing his cold feet to regain feeling in them.

"You know what, this game isn't fair. Kakuzu doesn't really have much feeling in his feet, Sasori is a puppet, and Zetsu is basically a plant!" Kimiko complained, hugging herself in attempts to keep warmer. One of the requirements for participating in the game was to wear a tank top instead of something long-sleeved. However, she was wearing some Joe Boxer pajama bottoms that could easily cover her feet had she not rolled them up a little to show she wouldn't cheat.

"Why did you have to wear a hat out here? It's not like your ears are gonna freeze. There's no wind," Itachi remarked from farther off to the right of Hidan.

Kimiko was preoccupied with watching the tree line for Slender Man to even notice Itachi's comment, however. (1)

After about 4 minutes, everyone but Kimiko, Zetsu, Sasori, and Itachi had given up.

"I lost all feeling in my feet, which is probably why I've been able to make it this long," Itachi said, shivering unintentionally.

"Hey Kimiko, how'd you make it this long?" Kakuzu asked from the sidelines.

"I'm surprised you people haven't figured it out yet," Kimiko droned, clamping her teeth shut afterwards to keep them from chattering.

"It's because you're wearing a hat, isn't it? Nice strategy…" Pein analyzed after a moment or two of awkward silence.

"Huh…?" nearly everyone asked, clueless.

"You see, if you keep your head warm, the rest of your body stays warmer. Including your feet," Pein explained, rubbing the feeling back into his still-frozen feet.

"Eh? She's cheating?" Hidan yelled, having the typical anime overreaction.

"It's not cheating, because the only requirements for winning this game is that you not wear anything on your feet, and you have to wear a tank top."

"DAMNIT, SHE'S CHEATING!"

"Oh, do shut up, Sweetie…" Kimiko said in her best British accent.

Zetsu decided to give up about 2 minutes later, followed by Itachi.

"Hurry up and lose, Kimiko. I'm freezing my berries off…" Sasori said, shaking uncontrollably.

"Like you have a pair…" Kimiko mumbled, adjusting her little stocking cap.

"Like you have a rack…" Sasori shot back, mocking her tone.

"Since when do you know I have underdeveloped cleavage?" Kimiko asked, getting quite self-conscious.

"Since when do you criticize my tool?" He countered.

"At least I've _seen_ a rack, before."

"At least I've actually been in a relationship that actually works out!"

OH SNAP…

Sasori wished he'd never said it the moment it escaped his lips.

Everyone OOOH'd, the way you do when someone is burned. That was harsh.

Kimiko wouldn't be blamed if she burst into tears and ran into the house. She wouldn't be blamed if she power-kicked him in his frozen berries and sent him flying back 5,000 yards into the forest.

But no; she chose to respond like an adult.

"At least all my relationships aren't with my HAND!"

BOOM, HEADSHOT WITH A SNOWBALL!

Sasori was expecting much worse, so he sighed in relief at her reaction.

"Alright, alright, I deserved that," Sasori surrendered, holding his hands up in defeat.

"No, you didn't."

EH?

Sasori had no idea how to respond, nor did anyone else.

"You have a point, although the only way I will be able to reply is by throwing something at you."

Sasori raised his eyebrows now, genuinely surprised.

"My feet are frozen this deck, and I cannot feel my hands…" Kimiko commented after accessing how she would get inside the house.

"Take a step, dummy."

She pulled one foot free from the ice that had frozen it to the wooden deck, but she lost her balance and staggered backwards. Her reflexes decided to do their job for once, and she caught herself, but her other foot slid across another patch of ice hidden under the snow. This ice was quite jagged, and she ended up cutting her foot.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFF-OOOOOOOOWIE…" She hissed, jumping around on the deck, leaving red splatters across the snow.

"Oh, gods that must hurt…" Kisame commented wincing pitifully at her.

"I'm actually too numb to feel anything, but I just wanted to get it out now before it really starts hurting," Kimiko said, turning to him as she bounded around on the deck on one foot.

After bouncing around for perhaps 3 or 4 more minutes, she finally got the idea to get in the lair, so she hopped inside and flopped onto the floor. Then, she wiggled around on the linoleum floor of the kitchen for several more minutes, getting blood everywhere, before passing out.

"Do we _really_ want her around if we ever decide to have a kid?" Pein asked Konan, sweatdropping in Kimiko's general direction.

…

After cleaning up Kimiko's blood, Konan gave her some of her emergency anemia pills, and she instantly came to.

However, she passed right out again when she saw Konan coming at her with glowing hands of healing chakra.

LATER THAT NIGHT…

After bidding their fellow members a Merry Christmas, everyone went to bed.

They had no idea what they what kind of shocks they were in for that very morning.

* * *

(1): Slender Man. A tall, spooky man, who walks around and kidnaps children, then mutilates them. Google him.

Anyway, I'll be working on To Despise A Fangirl too, even though the computer forgot about that too... I'm multitasking like a freaking robot over here. XD Please review, for all it's worth.


	61. Chapter 61: Christmas! pt 5

Ohayou Gozaimasu, my lovelies. The last part of the Christmas chapters is finally here! Then maybe I can start the Valentine's day chapter and the St. Patrick's day chapter. Wow, I can't believe the end of the Kimiko Chronicles is finally coming up...

I OWN NO THING.

* * *

3RD PERSON! (Of course, I'm overly-focusing on Kimiko again… Typical me…)

Kimiko, after having an odd dream about purple armadillos and Duke Devlin (1), was awoken by the call of the wild. In other words, she had to take a wee.

As she staggered blindly down the cold corridor with her tender feet, hands running along the walls for both support and guidance, she collided into a side table and fell in slow-motion before crashing into the floor.

"Thank you, Nose. Once again, you have broken my fall…" Kimiko said, her voice muffled by the carpeting.

She stood again after some effort, and the pain from her bloody nose snapped her awake enough for to remember where she had been told one of the bathrooms was.

After running on her bloodied feet and clutching her nose to keep the blood trail to a minimum to the bathroom, she couldn't help but sing a short 'Halleluiah' once her business was done.

When her bloody nose had leaked itself out, she swallowed another anemia pill and replaced the bloody bandages from her sore foot.

Since Leader-Sama had requested she work on chakra control more now that she was getting older, she tried a little first aid.

It wasn't the easiest thing ever, but she got a little soothing green chakra to flow just long enough to close the gash she had received from the ice earlier.

It occurred to her that she better check the time.

Sadly, her mp3 player was gone, and she was worried if she turned on her cell phone, Makoto might text her or call her. Or worse, she might have to deal with the fact that Kazuki was back.

Maybe I can look at the clock in the kitchen, she thought. It had been quite a while since she'd eaten last, and a little snack might get some energy into her.

When she started down the hall, she passed the lounge.

Was it just her imagination, or did she smell cherries and jolliness?

After a quick double take, she nearly keeled over.

Scattered about the floor under the tree were presents that hadn't been there when she went to bed, and their stockings had been stuffed.

"HO-LY SHIT…"

Kimiko's POV (… So… nothing changes… lol)

I was about to take a step toward the silver Christmas tree, but then it occurred to me that Leader-Sama had asked me not to open the presents until everyone else had gotten up.

"He knows me so well…" I muttered, turning on my heel and going to the stockings.

Mine was the red one with black candy cane stripes, and Kakuzu just _had_ to put that one the highest up.

"Damn him…"

I pushed a chair over to the wall, and I was able to free the stocking with a little effort. I jumped off the chair and shoved it off to the side.

When I dumped the contents on the floor, I could've cried with joy.

There was a bag of Dove caramel and dark chocolate squares, a 5 pound cherry gummy bear, hair clips that doubled as clip-on panda ears, 2 flowers (real ones! How odd is that?), and a letter.

I recognized the two flowers right away; a white carnation, and a white rose. Personally, I like red roses, and pink carnations are my favorite, but they were pretty.

I opened the letter, which simply read 'To Kimiko' on the front.

_Dear Kimiko,_

_Glad you decided to open this letter. You wouldn't believe who I was if I told you, but I guess I should try. I am Santa Claus._

I paused.

"Santa…?" I asked myself. No, not yet. I'll read it first.

_I write you this letter by the light of a candle in the middle of the Northern Pole, under the Northern lights. It is quite windy, and yet the lights still dance. The candle still glows. The candle reminded me of you. No matter how much the wind knocks it over or makes it flicker, it still lights my way. The candle wax drips only on the side I cannot see, as if it tries to hide tears. I had just finished reading a touching letter that made the Mrs. and I cry. You wouldn't even want to hear who it was from, but I shall tell you anyway._

_It was from a pleasant young man named Makoto; he's from a place around where you are right now._

I paused again. _Makoto_ of all people turned to Santa!

_He tells me that he doesn't want anything for Christmas… Except for one thing. and this thing was a pretty girl named Kimiko. He sends the white carnation for you, and he wants another chance. I cannot give you to him for Christmas, but _you_ can, Kimiko._

_You may be confused as to why I gave you and your Akatsuki friends such gifts like these. Well, I judge a child by their minds, by their hearts. And Kimiko, although you don't see it the way I do, your intentions are pure, and your mindset brings tears of happiness to my eyes, because not every child has such a wondrous state of mind. I send you this white rose, in hopes you will know what you are fighting for._

_Love Mr. C_

_PS, yaoi seems to be in your head an awful lot. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone._

"He knows, then…" I said, running my fingers over the curvy, delicate writing that belonged to Santa.

I wasn't fully aware of the tears beginning to run the ink of the letter until I noticed the black liquid leaking onto my skin.

I quickly wiped my eyes and stuffed the letter in my pocket.

I put the panda ears on to keep the bangs out of my damp eyes, and I began gnawing on a chunk taken from my gummy bear.

So… Santa thinks I should give Makoto another chance… He knows why I've stuck around as long as I have… and he knows about my dirty yaoi thoughts…

"This man, however wonderful he may be, must be a stalker…" I said to the floor.

I threw myself back and stared up at the ceiling fan.

I wanted to open my gifts. Just to take my mind off the world for a little while. But everyone had to be lazy and sleep in.

"I can do this, I can do this, I can do this…" I whispered to myself, rocking back and forth on my haunches.

Luckily, Sasori walked in just then. I was but a second away from ripping my gifts open.

3RD PERSON!

Sasori sweatdropped so heavily he got a little thirsty from the sudden loss of liquid.

He had caught Kimiko mid-pounce, and she wasn't too happy about it either.

"Ohayou Gozaimasu, Sasori-kun," She said, smiling at him. It was hard to hide the blue embarrassment lines on the back of her head, however.

Sasori gave her an eyebrow's lift of acknowledgement.

…

After everyone had gathered in the lounge, it was present time. Every member was required to receive at least 7 presents each, and they were quite a spoiled organization.

"Alright, who's gonna pass these out?"

Everyone automatically looked to Kimiko.

"Why…?" She whined, getting up and staggering to the tree.

She was about to pick up a small box addressed to Hidan when she saw it.

"Holy fish fuck…"

She kicked the tinier presents aside, and dragged out an enormous, plain white box with a purple bow on the top. It was roughly the size of a refrigerator, but the rest of the Akatsuki ruled out anything heavy, seeing as how easily she could move it.

"It's a box… a big box…" Kimiko said once it was out in the open for everyone to see. It was hard not to hide her excitement.

"What do you suppose it inside…?" Pein asked.

"Kisame, you could put Kimiko in there. She could tell us what's inside," Konan suggested.

Kisame plucked Kimiko up off the floor and let her clamber onto the box top.

"We could've tipped it over…" Kimiko whimpered, peering cautiously over the edge.

"We wouldn't want to damage what was inside…" Sasori murmured, smirking at her discomfort.

"Be that way then…" Kimiko mumbled, pulling the bow off the box.

"There's a note… It says,

"_To my dear Akatsuki, from Orochimaru… I know the box is a bit much, but I thought Tobi or Kimiko might like to play with it…"_

"It's from OROCHIMARU?"

"Burn it."

"It's from that Steve Irwin wannabe?"

Everyone wanted nothing more than to burn the thing, except Kimiko, who had no idea who this guy was.

"Doesn't this mean he knows where we are…?"

"No, maybe he just asked Santa to bring it to wherever we were…" Kimiko said, still lost about who they were talking about.

"Santa is such a good man, though."

Everyone sat glumly for a while.

"Might as well see what it is…" Pein finally said, giving Kimiko permission to continue her expedition to the bottom of the box.

She ripped the tape off the top, and opened one of the flaps.

"PACKING PEANUTS!"

Without hesitation, she tunneled inside. Packing peanuts flew everywhere in her burst of excitement, but the remained relatively still as she dug.

Soon, all was quiet, and they started to think she suffocated.

"Uh… Kim…?" Hidan asked cautiously.

A few more seconds of silence was at first the only response.

"I FOUND SOMETHING!" Kimiko suddenly hollered, her voice muffled by the packing peanuts.

"What is it?"

"There's a DVD…"

"A DVD…?"

"Yeah; here, I'll show you!"

Kimiko squirmed to the surface with the DVD tightly gripped in one hand.

"See?" She said, dropping the disk into Pein's hands.

"We should watch it."

Pein stuck it into the DVD player and fumbled with the settings for a moment or two.

"There we go…" He said, sitting back once the TV finally decided to work.

There was Orochimaru.

"_Hello, Akatsuki. I'm glad you decided to open the gift I gave you. I'd just like to say that you can't hide forever. I may not know where you are, but I can easily find out. Once I decide you need some reminding on whom to look out for, you better be ready. And as you may know, I don't like playing fair._"

With that, the video ended.

"Can we just kill him already?"

"You know he'd just move to another body… Besides, what's the worst he could do?"

Everyone agreed he wouldn't be able to do much to hurt them.

"Hey, can we open some more presents?"

"Yeah, let's do that."

"Kimiko! Get down here and pass out the presents!"

"Why…?"

"Because no one else wants to."

"Fine… Get me down then."

"With pleasure…"

Hidan kicked the box over.

With a loud bump, Kimiko hit the floor.

"Ow."

She crawled out, letting packing peanuts spill everywhere.

"Damn you, Hidan. Damn you."

…

"Sasori my dear, I found another one addressed to you."

Kimiko handed Sasori his gift, and noticed that she had grabbed another by accident.

"Hey, this one's to me… from Itachi…"

"Open it."

With a quick pull, the wrapping paper came off.

It was simply a key nestled in a velvet box.

"Eh?"

"Look in the garage."

"… Eh…?"

"Just look."

Kimiko shrugged and went out to the garage. When she opened the garage door, she screamed.

Pein's POV

"And so begins the hug war…"

"I knew she'd like it."

Kimiko sprinted in and glomped me with enough force as to almost knocking me over.

"OH MY JASHIN IT'S AN ATV I LOVE YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!"

I hugged her back.

"You didn't find the present in the seat compartment yet, did you?" I asked, referring to the brand new itouch that was sitting under the seat of her ATV.

"As long as there are people around to hug, I can't seem to bring myself to give a damn about anything else, Leader-Sama."

* * *

(1); Duke Devlin from Yu-Gi-Oh! I'm assuming at least one of you has heard of him. Well, I'mma let you in on a little secret. Don't tell anyone. Kimiko fancies him… Wink wink…

There we go. I know, mistakes are rampant in this, but I don't think this has stopped me before, so... BAHAHAHA... Review, if you want.


	62. Chapter 62: Valentine's Day!

I made a Valentine's Day chappie. Again. Because my computer is a retard.

I forgot the New Year's chappie, but who needs New Years when we're all focusing on the end of the Kimiko Chronicles coming up?

You people are ANGELIC for reading the story this far. I never would've made it past chapter 10, had I not been writing it, to be quite honest. You have no idea how much I love you guys for being good sports.

Oh, you guys are waiting for me to spoil the ending of the Kimiko Chronicles, huh? Well, I'll say this. It's probably the only ending you've never seen happen in a story like this. PROBABLY. I don't know, I don't read much. But it has an outcome you will NEVER in a million years guess.

DISCLAIMER:... I don't own...

* * *

3RD PERSON!

"Ugh, I hate Valentine's Day…" Kimiko groaned into couch cushions.

"The only reason you hate it is because Makoto has that blond girl instead of you. I suggest you get over it," Pein said. It was a sensitive subject, but she was the kind of kid you had to pick at a subject with for a time. She might even give up on boys for a while and be the kid the Akatsuki had yet to see in her.

It was expected that Kimiko would simply snap him off or change the subject, but she was quiet for a while before answering.

"He doesn't deserve a little whore like Hanako, though…"

"No one deserves a little whore like you either," Hidan provoked quickly.

"I know that already, Hidan. I'm just saying. Makoto doesn't deserve a whore like me or Hanako."

"And yet you still hope he comes back…"

"I'm just hoping he dumps that bitch by making out with someone else in front of her, is all… The one thing I didn't get for Christmas…" Kimiko finished by running her cold fingers over the smooth surface of her itouch and smiling at the memory of how she received it.

"Speaking of which… We haven't done very much to help the cause of world domination, have we?" Itachi said finally.

"No, I don't believe we have…" Pein said.

"I could use a good mission right about now…" Kisame said, sighing.

"Well, let's go to the meeting room, and I'll give out the missions."

Everyone was soon assembled in the meeting room, and Pein laid the mission sheets out in front of him.

"Alright, we let these things pile up, so let's get the hard stuff out of the way first…

"Kisame, you have to wipe out a tiny fishing village just to the East. Our spies tell us they may or may not know about our current whereabouts.

"Kakuzu, there's a bounty on a wealthy landlord from Suna. He apparently rapes the people who can't pay their rent.

"Zetsu, there's a pack of wild boars attacking our spies when they try to enter Konoha's territory. Take care of them.

"Sasori, one of our spies is a little corrupt. We have reason to believe he's been working as a double agent for Orochimaru. Capture and torture him for us, will you? Itachi can help if he wants."

Pein handed the mission papers out, and he chose Konan to go with him on a mission to the village hidden in the stars to recruit new spies, which left the juniors to their own devices.

By juniors, that means Tobi, Deidara, Hidan, Kimiko, and Itachi. Although, Itachi could help Sasori with the corrupt spy if he wished.

"Can we watch Inception?" Kimiko asked, once everyone left for their missions and the juniors were all seated in the lounge with nothing better to do.

"I don't like Inception. It gave me a headache," Hidan replied. He was pretty pissed off, seeing as he was still treated as a junior.

"That's because you have no brain to think with, Sweetie."

"Shut up, Kim."

All was quiet for a moment or two.

"I HAVE AN IDEA!" Kimiko suddenly yelled, bolting upright. Everyone had thought she had fallen asleep by the way she was slumped into the couch.

"What is it, Spazzoid?"

"You wanna play Dead Space 2?"

"I'm tired of wii…"

"Didn't Itachi get Call of Duty: Black Ops for Christmas…?"

It only took several moments before the realization hit them, and no one had ever seen Kimiko run that fast. It was like she went from 0 to 100 miles per hour in 3 seconds.

"ITACHI! CAN YOU COME IN HERE AND TURN ON THE XBOX? PLEASE? I'LL LOVE YOU FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!"

Itachi raised an eyebrow at this. She was actually using the word 'love'? Did that mean she felt… loved back…?

Of course they cared about her, but the word 'love' was a foreign term to most of them. Hell, about half of them had no idea what love even _was_. But then again, she could just be exaggerating.

"I'm coming, hold your horses!" Itachi called back, getting up.

"The horses died long ago, Itachi. They died long ago."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

…

"You're supposed to press X button, not the Y button!" Hidan yelled, seeing as Deidara was horribly failing at zombie killing.

"Don't yell at me!"

"I'm not yelling!"

"Yes you are!"

"You're losing!"

"No, be quiet, shut up, I hit the wrong button, I'm trying!"

"Don't focus on me! Focus on the game! FOCUS!"

"I'm tryi-!"

"YOU'RE FOCUSING, GRASSHOPPER!"

Kimiko threw a pillow at Hidan, which hit him full in the face.

"Calm down, you're gonna give me a brain aneurism."

"Like brain aneurisms are the major concern with you."

"You are exactly right, Hidan. Heart aneurisms are the major concern with me."

"What the fuck is a heart aneurism?"

"An aneurism of the heart. USE LOGIC, MY CHILD!" While saying this, Kimiko grabbed Hidan and shook him violently.

"Aneurisms don't happen in the heart, dumbass." He replied simply.

"I have more life experience than you, so I should know!"

"Yeah, you should know they don't happen."

"Are you people gonna talk about heart aneurisms all day or are you gonna help me kill zombies?"

"Both sound equally interesting."

"Shut up and help me not fail, Kimi."

LATER…

Kisame, Sasori, and Pein were sprawled dejectedly across the kitchen counters, while Kakuzu and Konan were sitting on the floor with ice packs on their heads.

So far, Hidan was the only one who had seen them. It was only for a few minutes though, because he passed out from laughing, and someone had to kick his limp body out the kitchen door into the hall, where he still probably was.

Just when Kisame and Sasori thought they were ready to get up and move around, someone tripped over the currently incapacitated zealot in the hall.

"'the hell…?"

Kimiko. They'd know that stupidly sweet voice anywhere.

"Hidan…? Hidaaaaan…?"

A short silence.

"OH JASHIN HE'S DEAD."

A loud thumping noise followed by the sound of Hidan groaning.

"Hidan! You scared the shit out of me!"

Apparently, he was unresponsive for a few moments.

"… There are… other… fucking alternatives… to getting me awake… besides kicking me in the balls…"

"Where else do you expect me to aim?"

"I thought you loved me!" Hidan whined.

"I don't know what love is, Hidan. But if that's what you call it when I'm around you, then yes. I love you. But I only say I love someone when there's nothing else to describe how incredibly amazing they are."

"Nice speech, Bitch."

"Are you really in any position to call me a bitch?"

She had apparently been planning to enter the kitchen, because she stumbled over Hidan and fell face-first into the linoleum floor.

"I am in a _great_ position, Kimiko. Such a great position."

"You freaking retarded speed bump! If you're gonna be sad over your manhood being kicked in by an uncoordinated little whore then you could at least get up and go somewhere that is not a high-traffic area!"

"Kimiko, don't insult a man when he's been kicked in the balls."

"Oh, you guys are back…?"

She backed out of the room slowly and stumbled over Hidan once again, although it was obvious why Hidan hadn't moved, seeing as his balls had been kicked.

Later that same hour, Kimiko came in holding a folder. She climbed onto the island in the center of the kitchen, and sighed.

"Have I ever told you guys the story about the dead girl and the owl?"

Everyone was too emotionally exhausted to question what she was up to, so the shook their heads in response to her question.

"Tell us about it, won't you?"

She nodded, and lied back on the island so she was staring up at the ceiling.

"_There was a girl named Ryoko. She was pretty, she was smart, she was musically gifted, and she could kick ass in a battlefield. _

_But she had a secret. Every day, she felt worse and worse and even more worse. Soon, she was really sick. Really, really, really sick. And those closest to her didn't really notice until she was almost gone._

_Her dad stood by her bedside, and he held her hand. 'You'll get better soon, just watch,' he said. She shook her head. 'I outlived my purpose, Daddy.'_

_Her dad was about to preach to her about how she still had so much ahead of her, when she looked out of her window and said 'Do you hear that, Daddy?' Her dad raised his eyebrows. It was dead quiet. 'Hear what, Sweetie?' She looked up at the ceiling. 'The owl. The owl called my name.'_

_Of course, her dad didn't believe her. 'It's just the fever, Sweetie. No owl called your name.' But no sooner had the words escaped his lips, an owl sounded outside the window, sitting on a strong branch of a big tree a little ways from their house. 'There it was, Daddy. The owl called my name again.' He looked at Ryoko, long and hard. 'It didn't say anything, Sweetie.' She shook her head weakly. 'The owl came to take me away, Daddy. The owl is here to take me away.'_

_When her dad looked out the window again, the same big, white owl sat perched on the tree right outside. It stared at Ryoko with its big eyes._

_She began coughing. Coughing and coughing, and soon she was coughing blood. The owl leaned in closer, as if waiting for something._

'_Love you, Daddy.'_

_Then, she sighed, smiled, and shut her eyes. After he was sure his daughter was dead, the owl flew away. But he flew high. Really high; so high, Ryoko's dad couldn't even see it in the sky anymore._

'_The owl called her name…' he said to himself." (1)_

With that, she jumped off the island, handed each of them a paper from the file, and walked to the kitchen door.

"Happy Valentine's Day."

She walked out.

Each paper was actually a picture. Each was a unique, individually decorated heart with the words 'Kimiko Loves You' written in the center.

* * *

(1): It has been said an owl calls your name before you die.

AWWW... She called the seniors amazing... Anyway, I think I'll get the St. Pattie's day chapter in my sights. Then an Easter chappie, (maybe an April Fool's day one if I feel like it), and then maybe a few more then... It's lights out!

Reviews...? Review please? Or Kimiko will come to your house and tell you about owls. XD


	63. Chapter 63: 50 little known facts

I had writer's block. MAJORLY. And so I started this. It didn't help with the writer's block, but it was fun to write. HERE ARE 50 LITTLE FACTS ABOUT KIMIKO THAT YOU MAY NOT KNOW. I promise, I'll work really hard and hopefully I can get at least the St. Patrick's Day chapter out by Easter weekend...

I OWN NOTHING. BUT THAT ISN'T THE POINT OF THIS CHAPTER.

* * *

Little known facts about Kimiko:

-Despite what most people may think, purple is her favorite color.

-She can't pronounce 'cinnamon' or 'alligator skin' correctly.

-She simply can't stand it when you get the butterflies in your stomach when suddenly going up or down. She will instantly throw up or faint.

-Her favorite animals are things like hedgehogs and armadillos.

-She loves the smell of new tennis balls.

-On Mother's Day, she puts 3 pink carnations inside a bottle of sake, and until the day the last carnation dies, she prays to God, instead of Jashin. And she asks him to keep her mother alive. Although she will tell you it's only because she wants her mother to suffer through more by keeping her alive, she may have other motives.

-She often wears boxers instead of panties.

-When asked if she wanted kids, she responded that she didn't want children. But, if she were to, she would want to have 2 or 3. All of which must be boys.

-She has a low tolerance for any spicy foods.

-Her last name is Reitogawa. However, most think it is Takahashi. It is unknown why that is.

-It has been noted by the Akatsuki that she can be heard saying 'Bread factory' under her breath when stirring yogurt. They have yet to ask her why that is.

-Her first language was not English, believe it or not. It was Japanese, which is why her Ls are not pronounced well, and she often sounds as if there is a Jolly Rancher under her tongue.

-She'd love to learn how to play piano.

-Although it hasn't been proven, there is evidence to suggest that she was a twin.

-She finds it difficult to sleep when there is nothing covering her head.

-Call her a whore (for example, when she wore a mini skirt and dressed like a French girl in the chapter with Lights) and see what will happen.

-She wishes she had a little brother.

-She has an extra bone in both feet.

-She wishes her voice wasn't so good. She'd rather be an artist, not a singer.

-She does not get more than 6 hours of sleep. Mostly, this is caused by headaches, nightmares, hunger, cold feet and hands, racing thoughts, or just because she believes she won't wake up if she sleeps later.

-Although she isn't good at writing, she enjoys creating short stories.

-She laughs and cries in her sleep. Frequently.

-Her favorite Akatsuki member is a tie between Itachi and Deidara.

-She walks _duck footed_, or walks with her feet pointing slightly out instead of inward or forward.

-She can only run 2 miles before getting tired.

-She will openly admit that she does not know what love is.

-She is subconscious about her flat chest.

-Seeing as she never really _lived _in her house, she does not do much housework because she doesn't know how.

-When asked what Kimiko's theme song is, the author listed many songs that seemed to capture the essence that is Kimiko. Here are 5 of them.

_Loser Like Me by the Glee Cast_

_Hero by Skillet_

_Who You'd Be Today by Kenny Chesney_

_One Day Too Late by Skillet_

_Concrete Angel by Martina McBride_

-It has been commented on by the Akatsuki that Kimiko has the faint smell of strawberries.

-Kimiko can only read at a kindergarten level in English.

-According to a sticky note found stuck to Kimiko's bathroom mirror, she would either like to die in battle, or chasing cars on a freeway.

-Pein claimed that Kimiko emailed him a picture of herself eating a yellow peep marshmallow. The reason for this is completely unknown, and when asked for comment, Kimiko declined.

-Upon seeing a 1st person POV video of a person jumping out of a plane, Kimiko will throw up violently and keel over.

-She has a problem with cold sores.

-According to her diary which is hidden under a loose section of flooring beneath her bed, she is afraid of Kakuzu, and Kisame gave her nightmares on multiple occasions.

-She has always wanted to be part of an abridged series.

-She was born with colic.

-She has heightened hearing.

-According to a crumpled up paper found in her parent's room, her name could have been Yurushi (Forgiveness), Heisei (Calm), Ashita (Tomorrow), Gisei (Sacrifice), Ridatsu (Breakaway), or Tsuneni (Always).

-It has been observed that Kimiko sometimes blushes and gets nosebleeds while eating strawberry pocky. This has yet to be explained.

-Contrary to popular belief, she cannot flip the light switch and get to the bed before the room is dark. Although she did once, and that was because she thought she saw a spider crawling on the wall just above the switch.

-Kazuki claims that she was born with gray eyes.

-Out of all Akatsuki members, she would love to kiss Hidan the most.

-According to a first-hand account from Ghost, she has mumbled 'Watashi o wasurenaide kudasai' in her sleep many times.

-Kimiko blushes around Kumomaru. The author has yet to comment on why this is.

-Her favorite number is 17.

-When she hears electricity humming through a fence or in a telephone pole, she gets noticeably uneasy. The only explanation we can give is that she does not like the frequency.

-The smell of cut grass puts her to sleep.

-She cries when she sees dead butterflies. It is unknown why that is.

* * *

As I said, I'm trying over here. Go ahead and review if you want. I'll be working on the holiday chapters.

OH GOSH I ALMOST FORGOT! I'll start working on a 'To Despise A Fangirl' chapter once I get some of the Kimiko Chronicles off my shoulders. M'kay? M'kay.


	64. Chapter 64: Paperplanes and gold

-slides into room-... -panting-... I AM SO LATE... XD Sorry about that... I kinda forgot I was a FanFic writer... 'n' stuff... So... XD

I was gonna finish the last couple chapters and post them all up at once, but I failed horribly at making another chapter after this one... And I didn't think it was fair to keep you guys waiting if I could just get one up now and put the rest up later, so...

Sorry if there's no humor in this... But I think I'm losing my touch... Ugh...

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN. AT ALL.

* * *

3RD PERSON!

A paper plane whizzed past Hidan's head, hitting the wall just beyond him with such force the nose of the plane crumpled upon impact.

"Alright, who threw that?" He asked, a tick vain throbbing on the back of his cranium.

All eyes trained on Konan, who stood on the other side of the oddly dark room.

"What? I didn't do it. Paper planes are a disgrace to origami. I've forgotten how to make them; they're so below standards…"

"Sure, Konan… Sure…" Sasori said, rolling his eyes.

Another paper plane buzzed through the air; its white paper wings were illuminated for a split second as it passed under a ray of sunlight from the skylight above the Akatsuki's heads. The plane hit Deidara in the left temple, effectively drawing blood. The plane either had a very sharp nose, or someone had to have thrown it with a lot of force.

"Ow, what the hell…?" He asked, holding his bloody temple. The mouth on his palm graciously licked at the wound as Deidara frantically looked about for the source of the fatal plane.

While everyone was distracted by Hidan's rage and Deidara's confusion, another plane sailed into the scene and hit Pein in the eye, causing him to scream and hop around the room, clutching his watery eye.

"I'M BLIND, I'M BLIND, OH SHIT I'M BLIND!"

Konan caught his shoulder.

"Let me see, Sweetie."

She eventually pried his hand away from his tender eye and managed to get a look at it.

"You're not blind, Pein. You might have pink eye in a few days though. It might've made an abrasion on the eyeball's surface."

"Since when do you know anything about optometry, Konan?" Itachi asked, picking up a box that was previously in his way.

"Since I became surrounded by idiots…" She sighed.

Itachi nodded knowingly and went back to shoving boxes out of the way.

The Akatsuki made the dangerous pilgrimage into the bowels of the storage room. Because of unknown reasons, the lair had failed to collect any substantial amounts of dust, which meant there was no excuse not to clean the place out.

As Kisame helped Itachi move an old chest off to the side, and another paper airplane flew through the air just above their heads and struck Konan in the arm. It barely effected her, but the thought of getting hurt by paper, her lifeline in battle, angered her quite a bit.

"What the fuck is goin' on…?" Hidan asked, looking around for the source of the planes.

"Whoever's making them better throw softer… Someone could lose an eye…"

"I came dangerously close to such a feat, Konan my love…" Pein said, pressing the heel of his hand into his tender eye.

"You guys are such crybabies…" Zetsu commented from a corner of the room.

Kimiko, who had up until that moment failed to make an appearance yet in this chapter, tripped over a random object and face planted, thus turning most of the attention in the room to her.

"Dude, I've said this a billion times. Look at your topography before walking in an unfamiliar area! God, I don't know how that face of yours stays pretty with all the face dives you take to the ground…"

Kimiko however wasn't listening to Konan's nagging. She was apparently distracted by something.

To understand what she was seeing, you have to understand where she landed.

There was an old chair sitting in the corner where Kimiko had nose-dived, piled with boxes and an old curtain thrown across the top. It was easy to see why no one would think anything strange of it. They didn't see what could be seen from the underside.

"Kim…? Are you listening?"

Kimiko, finally broken free from the mystery thing's magic, looked up at Konan and pulled herself up. As she dusted herself off, something made her jump. She promptly turned around and picked up a small paper airplane. It had flown out from under the chair!

"Guys… Look…"

"Did that come out from under the chair?"

"Yeah… Think so…"

Pein, following a hunch he had, swept the pile of junk from the chair and shoved the mess off to the side.

There, standing out prominently from the rest of the wall, was a vent. It was about 2 feet high and 2 feet across.

"Never saw that before…" He commented to himself.

"The planes are coming from in there…" Kimiko analyzed, lifting up the back of her shirt to see if the plane had drawn blood, which it had.

"Whoever's throwing those things is in there somewhere…"

Everyone turned to Kimiko, who stood wiping the blood from the small prick on her lower back. She noticed everyone's eyes trained on her.

"What…?"

PEIN'S POV!

"I hate you, I hate you so much…" I heard Kimiko mutter through my walkie-talkie.

"Oh quit being a bitch… Do you see anything?"

"No… It's just really dark…"

"Don't tell me you're getting claustrophobic…" I said.

"No… No… I'm fine…"

"Turn on your flashlight, dumbass."

"Oh yeah… Okay, hold on…"

It was quiet for a while.

"It dosen't take that long to turn a flashlight on…" Itachi mumbled, picking up the paper plane that had hit Deidara in the temple.

"Alright… It's still really dark-!" Her sentence abruptly dropped.

"… Kimiko…?" I asked after about 20 seconds of awkward silence. Everyone raised their eyebrows.

"Kimiko…? You're not going ADD on us, are you?"

I was beginning to think she had suffered a cardiac arrest, but sudden shuffling and banging sounds from the other end of the walkie-talkie knocked me back into reality.

"OH JASHIN OH JASHIN IT'S CRAWLING ON ME OH HOLY FUCK IT'S ON MEEEE!" She screeched, apparently struggling a great deal, as I could hear the walls of the vent being hit.

There was a short pause in the screaming; then the sound of aluminum venting being smashed in.

"IT WON'T DIE AAAAAHH OH SHIT OH SHIT DIE YOU DUMBFUCK DIE-! LEADER-SAMA HELP MEE… PLEASE HELP ME…"

"Kimiko, remain calm."

However, she didn't hear me. She continued screaming and bashing in vents.

"GET OFF ME YOU PERVERTED BASTARD GET OFF…"

Another bang and a sloppy cracking noise.

"OW OW OW… Fuck…"

"You alright…?"

"I think I cut myself open OH MY JASHINIST DOLPHIN I'M BLEEDING I'M BLEED-… Wait, wait… It's spider blood… Okay, I'm fine."

"If you're gonna keep getting attacked by bugs, the least you could do is stay in character about it."

"Sorry, but the author doesn't have a clear outline for my personality yet."

Kisame snatched the walkie-talkie from me.

"Don't break the 4th wall… It only causes heartbreak."

"Gomen…"

The lights flickered.

"Hey Kim, what's going on up there?" I asked, taking the walkie-talkie back from Kisame.

"Why? What's going on?"

"The lights are flickering."

"Well I didn't do anything."

"You must've done _something_. Where are you in the vents, exactly?"

"It smells like… the… kitchen, maybe?"

"Then you couldn't be causing the problem…"

"Wait, I hear something…"

Awkward silence.

"I'm gonna put you on hold for second…"

She shut off her walkie-talkie.

KIMIKO'S POV!

"Who's… Who's there?"

"Me."

I almost keeled over. What? I wasn't expecting an answer!

"Me, the leprechaun, that's who!" A tiny voice said. I felt something brush my foot. I turned around.

There stood a small man. Yes, he was able to stand. The vent was 2 feet high, and 2 feet across. He was small; about a foot tall, and he was basically looked like the most stereotypical leprechaun ever.

Now, I just sat there in those vents, making eye-contact with a midget man. It was one of the more traumatic days of my life.

"'re you just gonna sit there like a lump on a log, or are you gonna hand over me gold?"

"If I dare ask… What… gold…?"

He face-palmed, which is when I saw his fingernails were more like razor-sharp claws.

"You know what I be speakin' of, lass. Now hand it over!"

He stuck out a tiny hand.

"Look… Mr. Leprechaun… We didn't take any gold from you…"

"You know, lass… Souls of liars are damned to hell."

"Then I suggest you stop what you're doing, Mr. Leprechaun."

He sputtered.

"I am most certainly not lying! Now hand over me gold!"

"Explain to me one thing. How are you so sure we have your gold?"

"I hid me gold at the end of the double rainbow, and yonder double rainbow always ends at this pile o' rocks! Me gold be missin', and it be somewhere in this rock heap!"

"Double rainbow all the way 'cross the sky…"

"Oh, don't be singin' that damned song, lass…"

He snapped his fingers, and the power went out. Completely. I couldn't see anything!

"Uh… Mr. Leprechaun… D-don't do that… Look, we have had no association with your stupid gold… So please turn the light on…"

"Oh, afraid of a little dark are we, lassie?"

"Please, turn the light on."

I've never really had a claustrophobic moment until right about then, because it felt like something was gonna come squish me and I was to be trapped forever in a realm of darkness from which there was no awakening. A familiar thought, actually…

He slowly ran a claw along my right cheekbone, and I could smell my own blood leaking out of the gash he was making. I could smell cinnamon and beer on him.

I only knew 4 things about leprechauns. They pinched you really hard if you weren't wearing green on St. Patrick's Day, they loved gold, they loved playing pranks, and they had a fetish for shoes. Not much information to go on.

"Why were you throwing the planes at us?"

"If you simpletons bothered to open 'em, then you'd know they'd have read 'gold'."

"Why did you choose planes of all things?"

"They can cause damage," he said. I knew he was smiling.

"Well… We don't have your gold."

"Yes. YOU HAVE IT!"

"What do you want in exchange for it?"

He thought about it for a moment. Then, he ran another claw along my face, making another cut.

Stupid Irish sadists, I thought.

"I want that locket you're wearin'."

My heart stopped.

"… M-… My locket…?"

"Yes. I want that locket. It's not golden, but silver be the next best thing."

I grabbed it. I could feel it almost breathing. Maybe that's because Kumomaru's soul was bound to it.

"No. Anything else! You can have anything else, but not the locket!"

"Why not? Perhaps some deep, emotional story would explain why it be so bloody important?"

"Have you ever had a friend, Mr. Leprechaun?"

"No, I reckon I haven't."

"Well, when you're gold goes missing, and when you find it again, isn't that the most wonderful feeling ever?"

"… Yes, it is. Such a wonderful feeling..."

"You love your gold, right? You'd never let another person take it away?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Imagine it being the same with a person."

"You've lost me, lass."

"My friend's soul is bound to this locket. He's dead, but this locket lets him come back and talk to me. He trusts me to keep it safe, and if you take it away…" I trailed off, feeling an unfamiliar warmth emitting from the small silver cloud in my palm. The red stone in the middle flickered.

"Don't eavesdrop, Kumo," I whispered into my palm.

"All the more reason I need something valuable from you. If my gold isn't returned, I might as well take something equally valuable."

He grabbed it held onto it. He pulled on it until our faces were only an inch apart.

"Any last words before I take this, friend, of yours away?"

I stared at the soft red glow in his hand. There were a billion things I wanted to scream at that moment, because I thought I was never going to see Kumomaru again. And I realized something.

I loved him. Whether those feelings were romantic or not, I didn't care to analyze. But I didn't want him to go.

"I have another proposition for you… Just hear me out…"

He loosened his grip on Kumomaru's locket.

"I be listenin'…"

…

3RD PERSON POV!

Kimiko was sprawled idly out on the couch, picking at the bandages under her right eye.

"Kimiko, don't touch those," Konan scolded.

"So Kim… You claim to have 'gotten rid of the leprechaun'… How did that work out?"

"He tried to take my locket away, 'cause apparently we stole his gold… So I made him a little deal…"

Deidara, a bandage on his right temple, walked in, moved Kimiko's legs aside, and sat down.

An awkward silence passed.

"Gee, thanks for causing a gay baby, Deidara…" Hidan muttered.

Deidara sweatdropped. It was only fitting that he start a conversation.

"Hey, un… did anyone else hear about that little blond girl from the village getting locked in a public restroom for 5 hours by what she claims to be a little Irish guy?"

Kimiko fell off the couch laughing.

* * *

Aww... And you thought I forgot about Kimiko and Kumomaru... XD

Again... Gomen... -bows-... I've been writing and rewriting and rewriting again because I get these ideas down at like, 3 in the morning (Yes... I'm that lonely... XD) and the next morning (more like afternoon...) I look at the ideas and realize I didn't quite make sense on one part, then it messes up the whole thing, and... UGHHHH IT'S FRUSTRATING...

Also, we only developed a plot like, JUST NOW... XD Yes, I didn't have a real plot until right about now...

Reviews are loved. PS I'M WORKING ON... Uh... To Despise A Fangirl, it was? XD Yeah. I've been working on a plot for that as well. (NO I DID NOT HAVE A PLOTLINE FOR THAT EITHER. XD) But seriously, only fangirls read that stuff. I MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY. Because seriously, all the critics read more logical stories. And the fangirls (and fanboys, hopefully...) don't care much for a plot, as long as there's dudes hugging, then wouldn't a plot just get in the way of that? XD

Anyway... REVIEWS. I LOVE THEM.


	65. Chapter 65: Tsuneni, the new MarySue

XD What do you know? I said (and/or heavily implied) it would take forever, but this and the St. Patty's Day chappie are only like, half an hour apart!

I warn you. It's late, and my judgment is bad this time of day. So the plot might get a little confusing these last few chapters, 'cause I might have a totally different plot in mind and this whole plot you see developing here may not make any sense by the end... XD

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO...

Disclaimer: DEWDS. EYE DUN'T AWN DIS.

* * *

PEIN'S POV!

"So… She got back together with him, huh?"

"Yeah… Fucking tragic, isn't it?"

"Look, if that kid even _looks_ at her wrong, I want you two to make him wish he'd stayed with the blond girl. Got that?"

"Affirmative… Hn…"

Konan walked in. Perfect timing, as usual…

"She's here, Pein."

"Alright, send her in."

I shooed Hidan and Deidara out, and Konan escorted the girl in.

She was about 3 inches shorter than Konan, with shoulder-length brown hair and emerald green eyes. Not all that bad to look at, really. She had a black tank-top on(tiny breasts, sadly), with black knee-length shorts and black sandals. Her village headband was tied around her left arm. Village Hidden in the Leaves…

She sat down at the chair in front of my desk, crossed her legs, and scowled. Konan shut the door and sat down on my desk.

"So… Your name is… Tsuneni, correct…?"

She gave a curt nod.

"According to your documents… you're just about qualified."

"So being an Ex-Anbu captain isn't enough for you?"

"No… It's just that we need to know your motives for joining."

"Revenge; Orochimaru killed my parents when I was 9, and I want to see the Akatsuki come out on top."

As if that idea hadn't been done to death…

But if she was a supporter of the Akatsuki, and she had ability, then we might as well let her join.

"You got the job."

I handed her a cloak.

"I don't have to wear the tacky shoe accessories and the hat, do I?"

"Only in public," Konan said in her best cheery voice.

Tsuneni sweatdropped, although her face remained straight.

"I'll call a meeting so you can meet the rest of the Akatsuki."

"Is it all guys, besides this chick?" Tsuneni asked, motioning to Konan with her head.

"Pretty much; just you, Konan, and Kimiko."

"I feel like I'm breaking a chain, seeing as the other chicks here have K's in there name…"

Konan snorted superiorly as she walked out.

…

3RD PERSON POV!

"So… We got _another _Mary-Sue to deal with?" Itachi asked, leaning back in his chair.

Konan threw a kunai at him to shut him up. Meanwhile, Tsuneni developed a few blue depression lines on the back of her head. Again, her face remained straight.

"Gee, thanks… Thanks a lot, Itachi…" Kimiko called across the table before looking off to the side with a hurt look on her face.

"I didn't say names, did I?" He asked.

Burn…

A low 'ooooh' swept across the room.

"Guys, shut up please," Konan said, a tick-vein throbbing on the back of her gorgeous head.

"Yeah. I'm sure there's plenty of stuff wrong with her!" Tsuneni said, motioning to Kimiko with her head.

"… Thanks… I guess…" Kimiko said, sweatdropping.

"The only one I can think of off the top of my head is that she's a total push-over…."

Kimiko slid down in her chair.

"So… Is this one actually _qualified_, hn?" Deidara asked after a short silence went by.

"Does this qualify enough for you?" Tsuneni asked. She took a kunai out of her pocket, and set it on the table. With an almost unnoticeable flick of her eyes, she sent it flying towards Kimiko. It stopped about a millisecond away from digging itself into Kimiko's skull.

Everyone sat gaping and half out of their seats (you know how when something is about to happen to a certain character and everyone stands up like their about to kick some ass? Yeah, like that); except Kimiko, who was currently cross-eyed, trying to get a better look at the levitating knife aimed a centimeter from her face.

"… I didn't know that about you, Tsuneni…" Pein said after an awkward silence.

"I'm superhuman. Apparently, I can move things with my mind. It has something to do with chakra concentration."

"… Really, Author?" Kimiko whispered to the ceiling. Apparently, she thought it safe to take her eyes away from the weapon all too close to her lovely face.

"Yeah, that qualifies… Unlike little Ms. Sunshine over there, whom we found in the forest, hn…" Deidara murmured, pointing to Kimiko, who was next to him.

"Mean, Deidara… Mean…" Kimiko said as she sank in her seat. The kunai dropped, as if the atmosphere around her made everything in range depressed.

"Tsuneni, you'll be teamed with that little Ms. Sunshine…" Pein said, pointing to Kimiko.

Tsuneni looked Kimiko up and down, which only made Kimiko blush and look away.

"You little LESBIAN!" Hidan taunted, poking Kimiko with a pen. He chose the worst times to notice Kimiko's blushes.

"You'd know…" Kimiko muttered, flicking a curved eyebrow at Kakuzu. Both convicted lesbians got the message. (1)

…

After the meeting was dismissed, Konan showed Tsuneni her room, which was conveniently across from Kimiko's.

Tsuneni was busy putting her things away when she thought she heard a noise out in the hall.

Tsuneni, being the level-headed woman she is, calmly looked up and out the door, where she spotted Kimiko going into her bedroom.

I don't like her, Tsuneni thought.

Kimiko, turning and seeing she had been spotted, only cast Tsuneni a friendly smile and slipped into her room. She plopped down on her bed and began texting Kazuki.

Yes, she was texting her abusive older brother, Kazuki. It was quite a wonderful day when they made up.

FLASHBACK… (A/N: This is gonna be the cheesiest thing ever… XD)

_Kimiko stood looking out over the ravine, the cool April wind blowing her soft black locks of hair. She had been meaning to cut it, but Konan said to grow it out a little first. Perhaps she would like long hair. _

_Kazuki jumped from a tree behind her, causing her to turn around._

"_Okay, what did you want?" She asked._

"_I wanted you to know I'm sorry," he said, walking towards her with his own black hair blowing. His emerald green eyes stared into hers softly._

_Kimiko laughed coldly._

"_You wanna say you're sorry? You fucking left me in Konoha in that hellhole… Dad was so furious he fucking flung me into the coffee table and beat me half to death! And you know what? I ran away that very night because who was gonna care? Honestly, who would fucking miss me?"_

"_Ryoko…"_

"_Don't call me that! You have no idea how much I fucking hate you right now… I really, really fucking hate you, Kazuki!" Kimiko yelled, pounding on his chest with her fists._

_Kazuki grabbed her wrists and looked made her look him in the eye._

"_Ryo, I know I haven't really been there for you, but I'm here right now. You're all I have left. I'm ready to be a big brother now, and a big brother puts his sister first."_

_Kimiko sobbed and buried her face in her brother's chest. The sunset in the background illuminated the ravine, and the light, which was once visible between the two Reitogawa siblings, disappeared as they embraced._

"_Don't leave me, Kazuki…"_

"_Never again, Sis… Never again…"_

END FLASHBACK!

Kimiko put her phone away. She didn't think telling Kazuki about her new worst fear would do much.

At dinner, Kimiko made sure to keep her eyes on her food. Every once in a while, she would look at the new female member out of the corner of her eye, but nothing struck her as interesting. Maybe she overreacted a little at the meeting.

When everyone had retired to their bedrooms, and all was quiet, Tsuneni sat in bed, staring at the ceiling.

She managed to deduce many things from each member.

The shark guy could make a good ally.

The Uchiha boy was a total bag of douche.

The red-headed puppet guy was creepy. She could learn to like him.

The blonde was okay.

The guy with the orange mask was a total idiot.

Pein was cocky. She didn't really like him.

Konan was a bitch.

The creepy zombie guy was… odd. But she respected him. He always yelled at everyone else.

The Jashinist was gorgeous.

The giant plant guy was awesome. She liked him.

Then, there was the little girl… She didn't like her. She didn't like that stupid little retard at all.

At about 3 in the morning, Tsuneni rose from her bed and trekked across the hall.

She slowly opened the door. She crept up to Kimiko's bed. When a dog growled, she jumped. At the foot of Kimiko's bed was a big dog. Tsuneni shot it a death glare, and the dog whimpered.

Kimiko stirred. Tsuneni froze. Kimiko breathed deeply, and rolled over to face the wall. Tsuneni sighed. This unnecessary outlet of air caused the 12 yr. old to bolt upright.

"Hello, Bitch," the 17-year old superhuman greeted, now ready for the child's awakening. She pressed a kunai against the child's neck using her epic superhuman powers. (2)

However, Kimiko didn't even flinch. She just stared at Tsuneni with bleary eyes.

"Let's get one thing straight. I don't find you likable."

Kimiko's head turned to the side ever so slightly.

"… What did I ever do to you, Honey?" Kimiko whispered. She dare use a pet name with the terrifying Tsuneni?

Not to mention her face was more curious than terrified; not the reaction Tsuneni wanted.

"Nothing much, really; it's just that I like knowing I'm in control. You may not have much control here, but you look like someone who could manipulate these Akatsuki members easily. I mean, they put you down all the time and tease you, but…

"C'mon, it's just the way they look at you… When I made that kunai fly across the room, and it almost hit you… I saw it… They completely freaked."

Kimiko had a quick, soundless, black-and-white flashback went by which was somehow in 3rd person, the kind only an anime can achieve.

Tsuneni was tired of the distant look Kimiko was giving her, so she tackled her and held her wrists to the bed.

"You have no idea how much a fucking hate you right now…"

Kimiko's head twisted to the side again.

"I said the exact same thing to my brother once… Heh…"

"I don't fucking care, retard."

"You're not one of those stupid characters who are bent on revenge, are you?"

Tsuneni, enraged, made sure the kunai cut into Kimiko's skin just enough to draw some blood.

Kimiko wasn't fazed much.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Tsuneni whispered harshly.

"I've been in this situation before, is all. Don't feel bad. You're terrifying me, really."

Tsuneni drew the kunai away ever so slightly.

"Is that why you're here? You've been on a couple high-risk S-rank missions? Is that it?"

"Worse."

Tsuneni was out of things to say. She was speechless, for once.

"Let me guess, your parents were killed in front of you."

"… Yeah…" Tsuneni said quietly, wincing and staring off to the side.

"You lucky bunny, you…"

Tsuneni raised an eyebrow at the 12 year old.

"My parents beat me bloody since the day I was born, and do you see me trying to kill them for screwing me up?"

"That's different. My parents loved me! They died protecting me!"

"If you really loved them back, you wouldn't be trying to get revenge."

Tsuneni's eyes told Kimiko to elaborate.

"Everyone in the ninja world knows holding grudges is natural. But when revenge consumes your whole life, what are you left with? What happens when Orochimaru is dead?"

"How do you know Orochimaru killed my parents?"

"Isn't that how every other fanfiction starts?"

"… Don't break the 4th wall around me."

"I'm not. I'm just saying; Orochimaru kills a lot of parents…"

Tsuneni let go of Kimiko and began walking out, wiping her eyes. But before she left the room, she turned.

"I still really fucking hate you. But I could learn to love your speeches about useless shit. It helps me in plotting how I'll kill you."

"Goodnight to you too…"

Kimiko closed the pinprick on her neck with a little well-placed healing chakra and some luck. She fell asleep listening to Rainy rant about how careful she should be around new people.

* * *

(1): I know lesbian love is girl-on-girl. I'm not THAT retarded… It takes a true genius to figure out how deeply that had to have burned…

(2): Yeah… What? Don't you think her powers are like, EPIC? … I admit, you guys probably… aren't too fond of her… seeing as she's using it to do things such as hold Kimiko at knifepoint…

WELL... There you have it... another Mary-Sue... XD

REVIEWS. PLEASE.


	66. Chapter 66: KIMIKO'S STAYING IN KONOHA!

Hehe... Hi there, Lovelies...

I just thought I'd warn you. This chapter only really contains OCs. But I'm hoping it'll all tie itself together by the last chapter.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. MASASHI KISHIMOTO, ONE OF THE GREATEST MEN EVER, OWNS IT.

Oh, this chapter requires a quick foreword.

-clears throat-

Kimiko, on a whim, is forced to go to Konoha on Memorial Day to deal with her demons and break her ties. But when she encounters her two teammates, Takaharu and Haruka, she is compelled to stay. For their sake. Konoha isn't a bad place...

KIMIKO'S STAYING IN KONOHA? NO WAY!

Okay, go and read! GO GO GO GO GO!

* * *

3RD PERSON POV!

Memorial Day; one of the only times of year the Akatsuki would simply sit around outside and stare at the sky.

Tsuneni had to make a pilgrimage to the Leaf Village to pay her respects, and for whatever the reason, Kimiko was dragged along.

They hopped along in the trees for the first 2 days in silence, making camp a good 100 yards apart, and only making eye-contact once during the entire time.

Seeing as Tsuneni was the one causing the quietness, Kimiko withdrew herself to her own thoughts.

The only reason she went with her… _partner_… was because she was forced to. We won't say names, to protect this person's identity.

Was she going to follow Tsuneni to her parents' graves? Or would she perhaps go home and face her demons?

"Hey, Mini-Bitch… Entertain me while I plot your death." (1)

"What kind of entertainment do you want, Tsu-san?"

"Don't start using nicknames with me!"

"Gomen."

Tsuneni's straight face faltered as she made a brief pout face, but she quickly regained her snotty, Mary-Sue face.

"Okay… So… Just out of curiosity, who do you have to mourn today?"

"No one… Well, my dog Sunny…"

"A dog? That's it?"

"Hey, that dog saved my life… Plus I didn't have many people to care about in my earlier years of life…"

"Well I had people to care about! Why are you even here? This is my time to remember my parents, and I get stuck with you…"

"I didn't ask to come, you know."

"Just go back to the lair already… You're only gonna slow me down."

"We're already at the village though, Silly."

Tsuneni looked up. There were the familiar rock walls of the Leaf Village.

They hopped out of the trees and walked the rest of the way, which was about a quarter of a mile. Yes, the walls are that tall.

When they got to the entrance gates, they saw that the two Shinobi keeping tabs on the traffic were asleep, so they slipped inside.

"Wow… Haven't been in here since Jashin knows when…" Kimiko said quietly as they walked past the infamous Ichiraku Ramen shop. Naruto, Sakura, and Iruka sat inside, eating.

"Heh, check out that colorblind retard…" Tsuneni murmured to Kimiko, pointing to blond hero.

"I'm pretty sure I've seen that pink-haired chick somewhere…" Kimiko murmured back, motioning to Sakura with her head.

"Whatever…" Tsuneni said, regaining her fast walking.

"Shikamaru, I swear, you can be such a dumbass sometimes…" said a pretty, platinum-blonde as she passed. A tall, gorgeous boy (2) with his hair tied back in a spiky ponytail, who was following the blonde, only muttered a 'how troublesome' under his breath.

"Someone's got a little PMS…" Tsuneni mumbled.

The two Akatsuki girls continued walking until they came to the Konoha Cemetery.

"I used to dread coming here as a kid…" Kimiko commented.

"Our class came and cleaned once in a while…" Tsuneni said as they walked through the entrance.

"We had to clean the graves… all the time… I think our sensei had an obsession with death or something…"

"I need to be alone for a while, okay? Can you leave or something?"

"Sure… Whatever…"

Kimiko turned on her heel and walked out of the cemetery. It had been cleaned, and there were fresh flowers on all the graves. Some were still visiting the graves. It was still Memorial Day.

Maybe I should just go back to the lair… There's nothing for me here, Kimiko thought. However, she found herself walking past the Academy. Just for memories.

Technically, she should still be in the academy. Her year was still in the academy. It's just that she was put on a team with 2 other boys, who were just about as advanced as her.

They should both be 13 by now, Kimiko thought.

As she walked, she began humming Love Story by Taylor Swift under her breath. It was probably the only song she knew all the words to.

About halfway through her song, she was on a familiar street.

I know someone who lives here, she thought.

"… Ryoko…?"

Kimiko froze. She knew that voice. She knew that voice so well.

"Haruka…?"

The dumbfounded 12 year old turned around and saw a face she hadn't seen in a good year.

"Ryoko!" Haruka yelled, his face lighting up. He charged at her and gave her a hug. She hugged back.

"Haruka! It's been… Well, it's been forever and a day, really…" Kimiko said, laughing.

Haruka was about 4 inches taller than Kimiko, with messy blond hair that spiked up at odd angles, and he had the most gorgeous green eyes. He wore a loose fitting dark blue t-shirt, (which usually had a light blue tie underneath, if Kimiko's memory served her correctly), his green flak jacket, and black ninja pants. His forehead protector was tied around his left leg.

"Where'd you go? Me and Takaharu missed you!"

Kimiko's eyes widened. She brightened up some more.

"Takaharu? He's okay? How is he? Where's he at?"

The last time she'd seen Takaharu, he was in the hospital with a severe injuries from a mission he'd been on.

"He's fine! More of an idiot than ever…" Haruka said, shaking his head an smiling.

"Where's he at? C'mon, I wanna see him!"

"Calm down, he's at his house. We should go see him."

The two reunited teammates made their way to Takaharu's house, talking about old times.

Takaharu lived in a pretty nice part of Konoha with his older sister and uncle. Kimiko was so excited. She hadn't seen Takaharu in forever!

When they got to his house, they found him hanging around in the front door.

"Oi, Haruka!" He called, smiling.

"Look who I found!" Haruka said, grabbing Kimiko's hand and holding it up as if she was a prize.

Takaharu squinted a little, and immediately recognized her.

"Ryoko!" He said in realization. He tackled her in a similar fashion to Haruka.

"Hey Takaharu!"

"Good to see you, Kid..." he said, ruffling Kimiko's short hair.

Takaharu was about 5 inches taller than Kimiko, with long brown hair he usually kept in a ponytail. He had golden eyes. He had on a gray t-shirt, along with a black sleeveless vest, and light gray ninja pants. He was the oldest of the 3.

"Wow, the 3 of us haven't been together since… like before Takaharu was in the hospital, like… last year… Heh…"

The 3 teammates sat down on Takaharu's lawn, and spent the afternoon catching up.

"So where've you been?"

"… You know how my parents are, right?"

Haruka and Takaharu nodded solemnly.

"Well Kazuki took off, so my dad got mad at me and smashed me into a coffee table, so I left."

They studied Kimiko for a while. She sounded so calm about it; like she was talking about the weather or something.

"You've heard of the Akatsuki, right?"

Takaharu and Haruka nodded again.

"I kinda… joined them…" She said, scratching the back of her head and smiling nervously. Takaharu and Haruka were giving her an odd look that made her face burn.

"They're like, the most wanted criminal organization in the world, though!"

"I know that... But where else do you expect me to turn? I'm hated here anyways."

Takaharu and Haruka were both silenced again.

Kimiko sweatdropped; they didn't contradict her.

"Why don't you stay?"

It was Haruka who had said it.

But it wasn't that simple. It never was. She couldn't just leave her precious Akatsuki behind. Besides, she would probably catch hell from the higher-ups of the village if they found out. Not to mention they might return her to her parents. And Jashin knows what would happen if they got a hold of her…

Then again... staying wasn't a bad idea… She couldn't just come back and then leave again. Her teammates might need her. She loved both those idiotic boys. They had techniques that complemented each other's. They could easily be a force to contend with. Besides, Konoha wasn't such a bad place to be a part of…

Although… they had been alright the year she'd been gone… And the Akatsuki also needed her…

She had power. She had a home with the Akatsuki, and they knew she wasn't totally useless. Even though she wouldn't admit it in a million years, she loved those Akatsuki members to death. She didn't really know what love was, but if it was that fuzzy feeling you got when you were near them, then yeah. She felt some love.

Not to mention her friends near the base… Makoto… Miyu… Tamaki… Akihito… Tamaki… Everyone!

"You could stay with us, or something," Haruka said, snapping her out of her trance.

That only tugged at her heart more.

"Not a bad idea, Haruka… Not a bad idea…"

* * *

(1): Mini-bitch seems like a reoccurring nickname for our little heroine… XD

(2): You're looking at me like he isn't gorgeous. HE'S BEAUTIFUL… *sniffle*

So Kimiko might stay in Konoha...? FORESHADOWING! XD Review. Please. C'mon, we've only got like, 2 chapters left until we're done! PUSH YOURSELVES. Haha. Once this is out of the way, I'll see if I can get a chapter of To Despise A Fangirl out. M'kay? M'kay.


	67. Chapter 67: Letting go

Second to last chapter! WOOOO! I'll be kinda sad to do this to you guys, but as a writer, I don't want to tell you Kimiko was thrown into a pit of rabid dogs, I want you guys to feel as though you're crying and screaming as you help haul her lifeless, beaten body out of the hole. XD

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN.

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3RD PERSON POV!

"But I'm gonna have to refuse." (A/N: Hehe… Tricked you, didn't I? XD)

Kimiko's teammates studied her again.

"C'mon. It's better than being in a criminal organization."

"Sorry, honey bunny, but I can't stay."

The two 13 year olds looked at each other. Kimiko-… err… Ryoko, wasn't a very stubborn person. She was actually very submissive. But when she found a reason to fight for something… Well then it's something to stick by, for heaven's sakes! She didn't have the best judgment ever, but she did have some nice morals.

"Ryo, are you sure?"

"Yeah; I care about you guys and everything, but… It's just that with the Akatsuki, I… I guess there's just something about being a criminal…"

"You're terrible, Ryoko…" Haruka said, shaking his head and grinning.

"Oh, it's not Ryoko anymore. It's Kimiko. But I'll let you guys call me Ryoko. I won't mind."

"'Kimiko'… Who's the genius who thought of that one?"

"Oh, no one…" Kimiko drawled, smirking.

Stupid Hidan…

"Are you gonna do anything about your parents before you leave?"

That snapped Kimiko right out of her stupor.

"Do I have to?"

"Do you want to?"

"Do you think I should?"

"Can we stop starting every sentence with 'do' already?"

"Well that settles it…"

"Settles what?"

"I'm not gonna see them. It's better if they don't know I'm alive. They probably think I'm lying dead in a basement somewhere."

"… Quite a morbid thought…"

"They only kept me around as a tax deduction anyways…"

MEANWHILE…

"I kinda miss that little Mary-Sue…" Hidan said, staring up at the sky with his arms crooked under his head.

"Which one?"

"Which one do you _think_ I'm talking about?"

"Well, the new girl's pretty. I figured you'd be missing her," Kakuzu teased from next to the zealot.

"Oh fuck you, Kazu… Besides, that Tsuneni girl has tiny boobs… Why would I like her?"

"Kimiko has tiny boobs too."

"Dude, she doesn't _have_ boobs to begin with."

"Neither does Tsuneni, and you miss her."

"Fuck off! I hate that stupid bitch…"

"That's a bad thing to call Kimiko…"

"Shut up now, you two," Konan said sternly.

Hidan and Kakuzu turned their backs to each other.

"… He started it…" Hidan whined quietly.

"What did I say, Hidan?" Konan snapped.

There was an awkward silence.

"Gay baby…" Hidan said suddenly.

"What?" Sasori asked.

"We just caused another gay baby."

"How does that work again?" Itachi asked.

"For every awkward moment… another gay baby is born."

"That's just a myth, Hidan."

"Explain Justin Bieber, then."

"JUSTIN BIEBER IS AWESOME," Kisame blurted loudly in defense.

Everyone looked at Kisame. Kisame looked at them.

"GAY BABIES WE JUST CAUSED… IT'S… OVER 9,000!"

"And there's the obligatory Dragon Ball Z reference, hn…" Deidara said, sweatdropping.

BACK WITH THE MARY-SUES… MORE SPECIFICALLY, TSUNENI…

"Hey Mom… Hey Dad… I'm back…"

Tsuneni stared at her parent's graves. They looked so solemn. She could almost see herself in the stone of their gravestones.

"I joined the Akatsuki… Hanako said it would be a good way to get close enough to them… I'm sorry… I know you told me… revenge is a bad thing… but… I can't let your deaths go…"

Tsuneni burst into silent tears as she sat on her knees in front of those graves.

"I'm working with Orochimaru… I can't tell you… how sorry I am… but… Hanako's the only one I have left to trust…"

This was insane. How could Tsuneni be working with the very person who had her parent's blood on his hands?

She ran her fingers along the contours of her parent's names, which were carved into their grave stones.

"I love you two…"

She wiped her eyes, stood, and walked out of the cemetery, her determination renewed.

SEVERAL GAY BABIES LATER…

Tsuneni and Kimiko stood at Konoha's front gates. The reunited team stood there saying goodbyes. Tsuneni stood watching in mild annoyance.

"Don't go getting yourself killed now, Idiot," Haruka said, ruffling Kimiko's hair. She tackled him with a hug.

"You bastard…" Kimiko murmured. She, for once in her life, stood on his toes and kissed him on the forehead. When she let go, he had already turned a billion shades on red.

"Don't I get a hug?" Takaharu asked, holding out his arms. Kimiko jumped on him and wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Take care of that bastard Haruka for me, 'kay?"

"Don't I always?"

Kimiko kissed him on the forehead, and jumped off him.

"Let's go, Bitch. I wanna get outta here."

"Right… Okay, bye guys."

The two Mary-Sues started walking, and the two 13 year olds watched until their teammate was gone in the distance.

"I don't know why it bugs me… but she always says 'bye' instead of something else like, 'see you later'…"

"She thinks she's going to hell, remember? She's just making sure if she dies before we meet again, we'll go to heaven."

"… We shouldn't let a girl like her go…"

"We aren't. We'll be holding on…"

* * *

Aww... TEAMWORK WINS! XD

REVIEW! C'mon! YOU CAN DO THIS! SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER! SECOND TO LAST CHANCE TO REVIEW! YOU GOTTA PUSH IT! YOU GOTTA PUSH YOURSELVES! (Several hours of peptalk later) Okay... I'll be writing you the last chapter... OFF TO WORK! -flies away-...


	68. Chapter 68: Lights and green eyes

Herro. =U= This chapter is pretty much the last chapter. There's another one after this, but it pretty much just explains more about what happened. I just thought I'd warn you. This chapter reveals the plot twist. The final plot twist. READ NOW READ IT GO GO GO!

Disclaimer: Dun't. Own.

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3RD PERSON POV!

Light; one of the things that the sun produces, the main character of Death Note, what you see at the end of the tunnel… There are other definitions. But I don't feel like going into detail with them.

In the Akatsuki's dining hall, a nice, quiet breakfast was happening; just a normal day at the Akatsuki lair, really.

Tsuneni noticed Kimiko idly running a pencil across a piece of paper in front of her. When she looked closer, she saw that Kimiko was working on a picture.

"Nice picture… What is it?"

Kimiko didn't even look up from her paper.

"… A butterfly…"

"It doesn't look like a butterfly…"

"I know…" Kimiko said melancholically, exactly 3 blue depression lines appearing on the back of her head.

One of Kimiko's fingers slid against the paper's edge as she turned the paper to sit at a different angle. She didn't even flinch. Tsuneni was apparently the only one who noticed. Kimiko had been awfully quiet lately. She'd locked herself up in her room, saying something about how her head hurt. The only reason she only came out for breakfast was because the lighting in her bedroom was bad, and she was hell-bent on finishing her picture.

"Uh… You're… kinda bleeding…"

"… I'll live…"

Tsuneni sighed. Annoying this kid was hard. Only the thought of what events would take place that day kept the 17 year old from ripping Kimiko's windpipe out of her throat.

"Gay baby…" Kimiko notified after a good 5 minutes of silence.

"We're aware," Hidan replied quietly.

"Did you know that if you mouth the word 'colorful' to someone, it looks like you're saying 'I love you'?" Kimiko said, again not even bothering to take her eyes off the page.

Her gaze only left her drawing when the majority of people in the room started mouthing 'colorful' to themselves. (1)

They finished their breakfast, and went their separate ways for the day. Pein and Konan retreated to the office to do Kami-knows-what, Kisame would be out back training, Itachi and Sasori would most likely be meditating, Hidan had rituals to attend to, Kakuzu had to balance the checkbook, Deidara would probably want to go out back with Kisame and blow things up, Tobi would be off doing whatever a Tobi does, and Zetsu might just sit himself down the greenhouse near the training field out back and talk to the other plants. This left Kimiko and Tsuneni to socialize…

The two sat in perfect silence for 4 hours. Yes, 4 awkward, long hours. Tsuneni was busy watching TV, and Kimiko was sitting on the floor next to the couch Tsuneni sat in. Tsuneni figured the child was still drawing, but when she flicked her gaze over, she saw that Kimiko was staring off into space with her butterfly sketch pushed off to the side (it was finished). Her mouth moved as though she were holding a silent conversation. Tsuneni shuddered and went back to watching TV. She would be rid of that little insane bitch soon enough.

"Well you're in a good mood today…" Kimiko murmured finally. It was as if she'd never zoned out, like 4 hours of her life weren't just spent mouthing things to a wall.

Tsuneni's face twisted into a grin.

"I am… Today's such a good day to be alive, isn't it?"

"… I suppose… Yeah…"

"You sound hesitant about that answer."

"Well… My head's killing me… and… I just… feel… kinda like… something bad… might happen…"

Tsuneni's smirk faltered just a little. But she quickly recovered. Just hang in there a little longer…

Her eyes fell on the clock hanging above the TV. Almost time…

"How about we go outside to the training grounds?" Tsuneni suggested. Kimiko didn't object.

The two trekked out to the training field, where Kisame was smacking Deidara around while Itachi and Sasori sat quietly off to the side and meditated.

"I just realized… This training ground is better than the one back at the hideout…" Kimiko commented to herself. Her head began pounding again. She, as nonchalantly as she could, slid a hand up to her right temple and shut her eyes.

I'm just cool like that, Kimiko thought. No one had even noticed her pain; exactly what she had planned.

Tsuneni's eyes flicked to the tree line not too far away from the training grounds. The shadows of the trees told her it was just about 3 o'clock.

Oh, that's right… The plan would be starting now…

PEIN'S POV!

Thank goodness our meeting room was designed the way it was.

Our table is a giant rectangle. The table itself is grayish white. The only things we keep on it are our fancy pens, and papers; nothing else, really. Above the giant grayish white table hangs a giant grayish white lamp. This lamp illuminates the very center of the table. There is no other light source in the room. Our faces are just barely recognizable at the table by the level of darkness and sudden and intense light of the lamp in the middle. It's like an interrogation room, except no one would be interrogated that night.

Konan always said the room reminded her of CSI: Miami. Kimiko would always agree with her. Those two would sit down on the couch and watch CSI all day. Us guys knew better than to bug them while Horatio was making a snide comment about something and putting his little sunglasses on.

I made eye-contact with Tsuneni, who was off to my right. Every time I tried to pretend the situation we were in was just a dream, I would look at her. She brought me back to reality. Those eyes, those emerald green eyes that held so much light, would snap me back.

The meager lighting above the table showed some shiny, teary eyes from the members; which was why I had shut my eyes.

Emerald green and pale green were different things. They were different colors. One was deeper than the other. But pale green… Pale green held more meaning to the Akatsuki than emerald.

I looked around the table for the owner of the pale green eyes. I saw the somber faces of the other Akatsuki members. I saw two cats and a dog sitting in the entrance of the room.

I just didn't see the owner of the pale green eyes. But that's why we were gathered around the grayish white table in the meeting room.

The one with those pale green eyes, those pale green eyes with the flecks of brown… The owner of those eyes died today.

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(1): You mouthed 'colorful' too, didn't you? XD

So... Kimiko's dead. The Mary-Sue is dead! Yaaay! LAWLZ... JP, I'm very sad she died. Not really, but I'm saying that because she's me in the Naruto world. XD Review. C'mon. At least flame me about how I shouldn't have killed her or something! I NEED... REVIEWS. O^O


	69. Chapter 69: Remembering Kimiko

I smiled while I wrote this whole thing. Because it's just too damn dramatic... XD

Well, this is the last chapter of the Kimiko Chronicles. ; A ; It's been a good run. You have no idea how much I love you guys for sticking by me this whole year. 3 Now go on and read about the last chapter... Go on... Shoo shoo...

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN.

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3RD PERSON POV! (This is the funniest chapter I have ever written, because it's so dramatic)

Tsuneni knew only two things:

-Someone just got fatally wounded.

-That someone wasn't her.

She opened her eyes. She had meant to keep them open, but everything happened so fast, she had to close them. You can't stop a reflex.

Above her was Kimiko. Everything was perfectly fine; until Tsuneni noticed it.

There was a sword sticking out of Kimiko's stomach.

The 17 year old gasped. She wanted to scream, but all that came out was a tiny whimper.

"K-... Kimi…ko…"

Kimiko coughed. Tsuneni was splattered with blood.

The assailant stood there with his sword sticking into Kimiko. He cursed. He'd gotten the wrong girl.

"Kimiko… Why…? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?" Tsuneni hollered. She felt tears stinging the back of her eyes.

Kimiko grinned still. Blood had dramatically begun leaking from her mouth.

"You… You have my brother's eyes… Tell him… Tell him I'm sorry… about everything… Tell everyone else… I'm sorry…"

"No, Kimiko. No. You… Don't say that…"

Kimiko raised a shaking hand. She touched Tsuneni's cheek. Tsuneni shivered at the child's cold touch.

"Tell Hidan… I'll see him in hell…"

Tsuneni watched the light leave Kimiko's eyes. Those eyes used to be filled with light. They used to be filled with something Tsuneni recognized as love. Now, they were blank vessels; blank and dead and filled with pain that was hidden only moments ago.

"K-… KIMIKO!" Tsuneni screamed.

The assailant pulled the sword from Kimiko's body. He caught it before it hit the ground, and slung it over his shoulder.

"I'll just be taking this."

He made a series of hand signs, then tapped Tsuneni's head. She blacked out and fell to the side. The assailant was gone in a flash. Along with him went the body of Kimiko.

Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, and Kisame stood motionless off to the side. They didn't sense the assailant's presence until it was too late. But they could've done something. They could've stopped the assailant from getting away. But there was no point. Kimiko had been impaled by a sword. Anytime someone was impaled, and they weren't relevant to the plot, they died.

And there they were, in the meeting room a while later.

Tsuneni's memory had been wiped. She couldn't remember anything about who the assailant was. She'd lost, what seemed to be, 2 or 3 years of memory. Everything they needed to find out who had killed Kimiko was in Tsuneni's memory. And that memory was gone.

Kimiko's seat at the meeting room's table was empty. The Akatsuki kept expecting her to walk in through the doorway, rubbing the back of her head and smiling sweetly. They kept hoping that she would rush in, spouting apologies and near hysterics. She always came back. She always made it through whatever the author could throw at her. But the author, they sensed, was sitting and staring blankly at the computer screen with her fingers poised over the keys. Yet nothing was coming. Nothing was gonna reverse this. Kimiko was dead.

"She said sorry…"

Everyone looked up. Tsuneni sat with her face buried in her hands. Her clothes under her Akatsuki cloak still had Kimiko's blood.

"She said… She said she was sorry… about everything…"

"She had nothing to be sorry for…" Itachi said, his gaze travelling back to the section of table in front of him.

"Damn straight…" Most of the Akatsuki agreed she had nothing to apologize for.

Tsuneni removed her hands from her face.

"She sacrificed herself for me… And… And all I did was snipe at her and threaten her… I should've been the one impaled by a sword… Not her…"

No one agreed. No one disagreed either. So they sat in silence.

"Hey Hidan?"

Hidan looked up at the teary Tsuneni.

"She said she'd see you in hell."

Hidan covered his eyes with a hand and sighed.

…

Tsuneni stood before Kazuki. He had been notified of her death a while before. But Tsuneni had to tell him face to face. She thought it was only right.

"She's not okay, is she?"

"No… No, she's not okay…"

The two stood in uncomfortable silence. Kazuki was fighting back tears. Tsuneni had cried herself out.

"She said she was sorry…"

Kazuki wiped his eyes. Kimiko had been right. Tsuneni and Kazuki had the same eyes.

"About what? What the fuck does she have to be sorry for?"

"About everything…"

"She… She had nothing to be sorry for…"

Tsuneni held Kazuki while he cried. He cried for a long time. He was normally a cool, mysterious guy around other people, but when your most precious family member dies, you kinda forgot about image.

"How'd… How'd she… die?" Kazuki asked finally, regaining some of his composure.

Tsuneni didn't want to remember. But the memory was already flashing in her head.

Tsuneni had been expecting to see Kimiko drop dead that day. She got what she wanted, but it was the way she got her wish that made her regret it.

The assailant had been heading for Tsuneni. Tsuneni was supposed to have died. Tsuneni was the one who they were after, not Kimiko like planned. But Kimiko saw it coming. She had knocked Tsuneni out of the way and was impaled instead.

"She… This guy… He tried to kill me with a sword… and… She knocked me out of the way…"

Kazuki broke down in quiet man tears again. (1)

"That's… That's my baby sister for you…"

"You must be proud…"

"So proud… and sad…"'

…

Tsuneni felt guilty. She'd gone to Makoto's house and told him his girlfriend, the one he'd treated so badly when Hanako came into the picture… She was dead. When Tsuneni left, Makoto was left a sobbing mess. His elder brother Yuuto was pretty beaten up about it too. He told Tsuneni if they needed any help, he would be glad to join in the hunt for Kimiko's murderer.

Tsuneni told Miyu. Miyu had a similar reaction to Makoto. She sat down on her couch and cried. Tsuneni high-tailed it out before Miyu could ask questions. Tsuneni didn't want to cause any more heartbreak.

But she still needed answers. The assailant meant to kill her. Whoever the assailant worked for wanted her dead. She was determined to remember who it was. They would catch Kimiko's killer. They would catch that motherfucking son of a bitch and kill him.

PEIN'S POV!

There would be plenty of time to find a killer. But we needed to grieve now. We needed to sit down and cry. Kimiko deserved to be cried over. As far as we were concerned, she deserved all the world's tears. But tears wouldn't bring her back.

We made a memorial stone. There was a beautiful valley just beyond the trees of the training field, and we sat it there overlooking the valley. It was the perfect place to sit down and remember her.

There was a picture of her we kept in the lounge. She was smiling and her eyes were open and there was light. She was so pretty. When I saw that picture I thought of the girl she was back then; that little shy, quiet wad of snide comebacks and words of wisdom. The girl she could still be; that funny, beautiful, lovely Mary-Sue we've all come to know and love.

Then I though about the girl she might've been… What she would be like as a teenager… The future we would never see. It was like a story that had just began… But the pages had been all torn away…

I paused. Why were my thoughts suddenly so organized?

My mind was settled when I remembered the radio was on. Who You'd Be Today by Kenny Chesney was playing…

"Author, you evil little bitch…" I said to the ceiling.

_Don't break the 4__th__ wall, please._

That very sentence echoed in my head.

I looked up at the picture of Kimiko. It was almost insulting how quickly we thought we would forget her. I knew it was just a reminder of our new life goal... But…

Who could forget a girl like her? Who could forget… a child with no equal?

* * *

(1): Admit it. You laughed.

Yes Pein. Yes. Who... Who's gonna forget a kid like Kimiko?

And thus concludes the Kimiko Chronicles. (_ _||| Review. It's your last chance. Make it count. Arigato... Thanks for reading. -bows-

Ja nai! 3


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